<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?>
<rss version="2.0">
<channel>
<title>PolkOut Recent Updates</title>
<description>The last update of the comic.</description>
<link>http://www.drunkduck.com/PolkOut/</link>
<language>en-us</language>


<item>
<title>A Real 'Punk' Marches to the Tune of His Own Drummer</title>
<description><![CDATA[Come on over and check out the [url=http://www.polkout.com/forum/]forum[/url].

You can also see this comic on the main site [url=http://www.polkout.com/page206.htm]here[/url].

[quote=Polkster][b]Forum Update:[/b] Post in the new forum: [url=http://www.polkout.com/forum]www.PolkOut.com/forum[/url].  It's hosted on my server, and if that starts getting laggy in the future I can just pay for more bandwidth.  Any artistic contribution to the forum would be terrific.  You can still check out the [url=http://polkmaster.proboards62.com/index.cgi?]old forum[/url], and older pages will still link to it for now, so... uh... do whatever with that intel.

[b]Quick shit for newcomers:[/b] [url=http://www.polkout.com/forum]Forum[/url] (deviant bullshit), [url=polkout@gmail.com]Feedback[/url] (fan art, comments, critiques), [url=http://www.polkout.com/about.htm]About[/url] (check it out and contribute).  Do you have a website of your own you want me to give a shout out to?  Want to do a crazy guest strip?  You can reach me through that email or on the forums. 

Archive Alternative: PolkOut Redux, updated Monday through Friday with old strips in the same chronological order as in which they appeared on this site.  It's on DrunkDuck so you can rate the comics and comment directly underneath them:

[url=http://www.drunkduck.com/PolkOut/][img]http://www.polkout.com/PolkOutRedux.png[/img][/url]

It's now official (though some of you will argue it's been the case for a while): I suck at webcomics.  I don't know how I can justify this stuff when there are people out there, real artists with real things to say, being intelligent and complicated and provocative...

[url=http://www.rainedog.com/]Raine Dog[/url] attempts to do something few other comics have the balls to, and that's act as an instrument of dissent against society's ignorant homo-normative (and I mean homo as in homosapien not homo as in homo) sexual standards.  I'm on your side, Raine Dog, as I've demonstrated on a [url=http://www.polkout.com/page194.htm]number[/url] [url=http://www.polkout.com/page197.htm]of[/url] [url=http://www.polkout.com/page198.htm]occasions[/url].

[img]http://www.polkout.com/pragueblague16.png[/img]

I'm halfway through with finals; one more exam on Monday (that I really ought to start studying for) and a paper due on Thursday and I am home free.  I'll be back in New York, runnin' with mah gang, trafficin' some druuuuuugs, bein' a badass all up in mah turf.  Prague has some tasty ass burgers though, the Czechs know how to work their meat (now if only it didn't cost so much to have one of 'em work mine...).

Like I said, I really ought to start studying.  Instead opening up my book--or rather, reading through countless Wikipedia articles, the best way to study for any history test--I've been wasting my time arguing on the internet.  Yeah, I know how that old saying goes, but I feel like... somewhere out there... up in the sky or out in space somewhere, is some benevolent entity that sees my doing and smiles upon me.  I'm overcome by this unshakeable feeling of righteousness when, for example, I see some random forum poster claim Iran's government is a Saudi puppet, granting me the opportunity to jump atop his ignorant Fox News watching ass and thrust the rigid shaft of academia passionately into it.  I bust a nut harder than to any porno as I make him my bitch.  Of course no one ever listens, my comments are largely ignored or misinterpreted but... they're there, people can see that I came and I spoke and I was right goddammit. 

I watched the last Jason Statham movie I bothered to get a hold of, Revolver.  I had high hopes because every other time Guy Ritchie and Jason Statham have teamed up, the result had been nothing short of awesome.  But this movie was such an unapologetic pile of shit... I just... I don't know what to do.  My whole mindset's been violently fucked inside out.  I mean I entered this whole Statham-fest really believing that he was awesome and his movies are awesome... but... but... there's just so much shit.  It seems like when our pal Jason isn't playing an unapologetic badass (Crank, the Transporter) or a sardonic sass-master (Snatch, Lock, Stock) he just... no, I don't want to say it... I still want to... still need to... believe...

On a totally unrelated note: I don't know if you guys are aware, this may just be a European thing, but there's this plant called Cannabis, sometimes referred to as "marijuana", that (and this is news to me) many people consume recreationally for the purposes of entering an intoxicated, often euphoric, state.  Yeah, go figure.  Anyway, according to my research, possessing Cannabis in most forms is illegal in many countries, and growing the stuff, well that's doubleplusungood!  A lot of people don't like the fact that their government disapproves of their Cannabis consumption...

[img]http://www.polkout.com/5-9crowd.png[/img]

Some of those people, a bunch living in or around Prague actually, organized a big protest march.  The Million Marijuana March.  I guess they're trying to draw parallels to the Million Man March, because smoking "marijuana" is kind of like being black or something... I dunno, I don't make this stuff up.

Lots and lots of folk came together to get "high" and smoke "doobies" (Cannabis cigarettes) because they want the local laws reformed.  Possession in the Czech Republic is not a crime in small quantities, but people want medicinal consumption and home growing legal.



I know very little about "marijuana" and its effects (having never actually seen the substance in close proximity) so I can't say that I supported these protestors' efforts.  Nevertheless, I decided to show up to bear witness to this large cultural event (and get some photos for the Blague since I didn't do anything else this week) and share it with all of you.  I figure lots of you out there didn't know what Cannabis was either, or the social and political dynamics that surround its usage (as it's apparently a predominantly European phenomenon), so you might find this culturally enlightening.

I'll update early next week and it'll be my final update from the Czech Republic.  I've kind of enjoyed doing this photo-blog format as it gives me more to rant about.  What do you guys think?  Should I continue it?[/quote]]]></description>
<pubDate>Fri, 27 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0600</pubDate>
<link>http://www.drunkduck.com/PolkOut/?p=640265</link>
</item>

<item>
<title>Ribs and Romance (and the Tragic Absence of Both)</title>
<description><![CDATA[Come on over and check out the [url=http://www.polkout.com/forum/]forum[/url].

You can also see this comic on the main site [url=http://www.polkout.com/page205.htm]here[/url].

[quote=Polkster][b]Forum Update:[/b] Post in the new forum: [url=http://www.polkout.com/forum]www.PolkOut.com/forum[/url].  It's hosted on my server, and if that starts getting laggy in the future I can just pay for more bandwidth.  Any artistic contribution to the forum would be terrific.  You can still check out the [url=http://polkmaster.proboards62.com/index.cgi?]old forum[/url], and older pages will still link to it for now, so... uh... do whatever with that intel.

[b]Quick shit for newcomers:[/b] [url=http://www.polkout.com/forum]Forum[/url] (deviant bullshit), [url=polkout@gmail.com]Feedback[/url] (fan art, comments, critiques), [url=http://www.polkout.com/about.htm]About[/url] (check it out and contribute).  Do you have a website of your own you want me to give a shout out to?  Want to do a crazy guest strip?  You can reach me through that email or on the forums. 

Archive Alternative: PolkOut Redux, updated Monday through Friday with old strips in the same chronological order as in which they appeared on this site.  It's on DrunkDuck so you can rate the comics and comment directly underneath them:

[url=http://www.drunkduck.com/PolkOut/][img]http://www.polkout.com/PolkOutRedux.png[/img][/url]

Hey guys, quick site thing: I know I ask you all on a pretty regular basis to share the site--maybe put links in your sigs on forums, casually show it to your friends, maybe, if relevant, post a comic on a forum--but don't spam, alright?  The last thing I'm out to do is make enemies; while I'm sure the upper echelon of the webcomic community already thinks everything I do is in poor taste, I don't need them thinking I'm an unapologetic shit-eater as well.  So represent, for sure, but be aware that the impression this site generates is based not only on its content, but by the actions of its fans.

Forum moderator Illumilatte suggested an alternate final panel:

[img]http://www.polkout.com/PraguePolk12v2.png[/img]

Take your pick.

[img]http://www.polkout.com/pragueblague15.png[/img]

Apparently "polknout" means "to swallow".  The above was scrawled on the wall of the art gallery where I work, I forget what it means, but I think it was some pretentious shit like, "The truth can be hard to swallow," or something artsy like, "Avoid the easy messes with a simple swallow." 

I've been burning through final papers, having finished an entire... one... while battling this persistent cough and watching Jason Statham movies.  Death Race was damn awesome, save for the half assed ending which the writer clearly just phoned in.  I also watched War, aka Rogue Assassin, which costarred Jet Li and was an abysmal pile of shit.  Shymalan caliber twist whoring and a really... well, just plain delusional interpretation of how FBI agents actually function.  To the point where disbelief protested its suspension, burst back into the building, and started throwing its feces at innocent passers by in a fit of psychotic rage.  Statham was so fucking one note in this movie--yeah, I know, he's a one note kinda guy, but that's often tempered with either half assed attempts at characterization (e.g. Transporter series) or a self aware sense of humor (e.g. Crank)--that I actually began to dislike him.  "Alo govnah!" he exclaims Britishly, "Oy, ahm toff ahn angrah!  Fish ahn chips!"

I call your attention now to my floor's service request sheet:

[img]http://www.polkout.com/5-2toiletspoon.png[/img]

Note the anonymous entry at the very bottom.  I'm not saying I know who did it... I would never rat a friend out like that... but lets just say... I didn't do it.

This morning, I woke up at what may as well have been the crack of dawn, five fucking thirty, to navigate Prague's metro system and make my way to this flee market at the edge of town.  Imagine a junk store convention, only with food and snacks and stuff sold at absurdly low prices--I'm talkin' Mr. Brown coffee drink at a third the price, these cracker snacks they've got around here for a sixth; I bought a small bag of nachos and a jar of salsa for the equivalent of a single US dollar.  Glorious. 

I also bought some cultural artifacts.

[img]http://www.polkout.com/5-2kidandduck.png[/img]

It's a wood... thing, depicting a pantsless child about to blow a duck.  If that's not just a mountain of win right there, I don't know what is.

Oh, and for the fuck of it:

[img]http://www.polkout.com/5-2gasmask.png[/img]

A gas mask!  A dusty, ass-smelling, nonfunctional, five dollar gas mask.  Fuck yeah.

And, as K and I were walking down the street yesterday, we noticed the following and realized it had to be chronicled for... I guess posterity or whatever:

[img]http://www.polkout.com/5-2titty.png[/img]

Yeah...

At a drunken, post-gallery opening, coworker camaraderie fest at a nearby pub, my boss expressed some level of disappointment for having never been featured in a comic--though he has been mentioned in this blog, quoted directly in fact on a number of occasions.  But seeing as he's a decent enough guy, I probably ought to give him some sort of a cameo... this will be something to ponder.

Until next week![/quote]]]></description>
<pubDate>Thu, 26 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0600</pubDate>
<link>http://www.drunkduck.com/PolkOut/?p=639752</link>
</item>

<item>
<title>A... Meta-Comic...?</title>
<description><![CDATA[Come on over and check out the [url=http://www.polkout.com/forum/]forum[/url].

You can also see this comic on the main site [url=http://www.polkout.com/page204.htm]here[/url].

[quote=Polkster][b]Forum Update:[/b] Post in the new forum: [url=http://www.polkout.com/forum]www.PolkOut.com/forum[/url].  It's hosted on my server, and if that starts getting laggy in the future I can just pay for more bandwidth.  Any artistic contribution to the forum would be terrific.  You can still check out the [url=http://polkmaster.proboards62.com/index.cgi?]old forum[/url], and older pages will still link to it for now, so... uh... do whatever with that intel.

[b]Quick shit for newcomers:[/b] [url=http://www.polkout.com/forum]Forum[/url] (deviant bullshit), [url=polkout@gmail.com]Feedback[/url] (fan art, comments, critiques), [url=http://www.polkout.com/about.htm]About[/url] (check it out and contribute).  Do you have a website of your own you want me to give a shout out to?  Want to do a crazy guest strip?  You can reach me through that email or on the forums. 

Archive Alternative: PolkOut Redux, updated Monday through Friday with old strips in the same chronological order as in which they appeared on this site.  It's on DrunkDuck so you can rate the comics and comment directly underneath them:

[url=http://www.drunkduck.com/PolkOut/][img]http://www.polkout.com/PolkOutRedux.png[/img][/url]

I think every artist--not to imply some debauched pervert like myself is an artist, but bear with me here--reaches a point when they realize they are completely incapable of fulfilling a vision that could ever compare to the greatness to which they aspire.  It's that moment of truth when they look up to the sky, realize just how high up those clouds really are, and call it quits.  No, I'm not quitting, but this week... this week I've come closer to that realization than ever before.

It's not because of the dismally low popularity of this site, even after all these years of weekly updates and witty rant banter, it's not because of the alienation I've earned myself ("He has a website... He's a forum admin... He draws cartoons..." - Global Female Conspiracy, drafting a treatise on why my cock ought never be touched), no, it's because I've found someone who does what I do but outclasses me in every respect.

I'm almost a bit reluctant to expose you guys to this webcomic... I fear once you've gazed upon its splendor, the few followers I actually have will swiftly abandon me.  But I can't rely on ignorance as a foundation of admiration, no, it's dishonest, fickle, fragile...

So here, I present you now with [url=http://answersingenesis.org/media#/image/cartoons/after-eden/p/1]the greatest weekly webcomic to ever hit the internet[/url].

[img]http://www.polkout.com/pragueblague14.png[/img]

I've been sick as fuck for the last two weeks, coughing up some pretty vile shit.  At one point, after blowing my nose into a fistful of toilet paper (my tissue/paper towel/bulge enlargement solution), I looked down to find something that resembled the contents of Gloop's tube sock after a furious session of cock pounding.

Woah, was that too obscure a reference?  You guys know the Herculoids, right?

[url]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pbhiolw-9Fk[/url]

Just another brick in the foundation of a socially stunting childhood.

The healing process has involved liter after liter of grapefruit juice, milk, fistfuls of vitamins and antibiotics, and Jason Statham movies.  Just like Dragonball: Evolution, Crank 2 doesn't come out here in the Czech Republic until July, so I missed my shot to see that masterpiece in theaters.  The first was glorious, the product of an inspired artistic vision.  Transporter was a solid meh up until the glorious end.  Qi Shu just lamed up the screen every chance she got and I got the sincere impression that the guys behind the camera didn't know whether they wanted to make a serious semi-dramatic action/thriller or a badass, testosterone-fueled boner-fest.  I think I'm one of the few people who thinks Transporter 2 was better than the original simply because it knew wanted it wanted to do and did it... I haven't seen the third one yet, but soon!  Maybe right after this update...

A big pet peeve I have with a lot of movies, the first Transporter included, is when lazy writers think saving a woman's life is instant sex guarantee.  Granted, it ought to be, just like taking a lady out to dinner or... not pummeling her to the ground with a barrage of much-deserved backhands... but it never happens.  Why?  I don't know... ovaries are big ingratitude nodes, pumping that shit up to their brains like diarrhea to a septic tank.  Heavy Metal is a serious offender, making that movie totally unwatchable for me... (along with the gratuitous cartoon fucking and atrocious audio). 

Not many photos this week, well not any, save for that one up there.  Like I said, I went on a trip to a small Czech town last week to meet, and hang out with, students from a prestigious high school in the area.  Not really a ha-ha-I'm-a-douchebag-tourist kind of time.  Though it was pretty neat, lack of stupid bullshit notwithstanding...

One of the first things we had to do was sit around with these Czech students and have conversations with them as a form of both ice breaker and cultural... knowledge... gathering... exercise... thing.

I spoke with this one girl and... it was pretty awkward.  More so than when I normally talk to women (like that were possible).  Frequent pauses to uncomfortably scan around the room, the ceiling, our laps, half assed attempts at jumpstarting discussion, one that led to the following beauty of an exchange:

"So... uh... do you have any siblings?"
"Yes.  One brother."
"Older?  Younger?"
"Younger, he is sixteen."
"Oh..."
"He exercises a lot..."
"...huh..."
"...body... build... he body builds, really big."
"...that's cool."
"...he hits me a lot."
"He what?!"
"He hits me a lot... I do not like it..."
"He hits you?!"
"...yes... he is strong and it hurts."
"...you're... uh... wow... okay..."
"Do you have siblings?"
"...nope."

I asked a bunch of them if they played any videogames, all but one told me they were juvenile wastes of time.  After the meeting we watched this play about tolerance that a bunch of the students preformed, which was, despite what we've come to expect from plays about tolerance, totally fucking awesome.  After lunch we went our separate ways with our host students.  So these two brothers and I, driven by their mother, went up to this neighboring little village to have dinner and dick around for a while.  Their father showed me his workshop in the back, where he and his nine employees cut metal parts for engines and swivel chairs and stuff like that.  Afterwards we hiked uphill to the village community center, an old building recently bought and renovated by a former student from that same high school.  It contained a free fitness center, movie theater, and non-profit pub (cheap cheap cheap beer).  That photo up there is of the pub, in the corner of which is a small children's play area so you can take your kids when you go boozin'.

I learned the greatest menstruation euphemism from these guys that I've ever heard: strawberry holiday.

I'd asked where one of the brothers had gone, and the older one replied, "He's taking his girlfriend out to dinner for the first time."
"Oh, is it a special day or something?"
"No... she's on... strawberry holiday."
"So she's in a bad mood or something?"
"No, there's just nothing else to do."

I think the origin of the phrase comes from Commie times; there was a period when Czechoslovakia's only pad factory (or one of the few, and no, no one used tampons) burned down.  To deal with the ensuing shortage, the government issued all women four days off per month to stay home and deal with it. 

Anyway, that night we all met up again at this pub in town, where alcohol eased a lot of the awkwardness.

"So... what kind of music... do you like?" one student asked me.
"Classic rock, mostly."
"Cla-ssic... rock?"
"Yeah, you know, like Pink Floyd, Dire Straits, Led Zeppelin..."
"Oh!  You have very good taste in music! I learned to play guitar to Pink Floyd."
"I saw Roger Waters play live twice back in the states."
"You are lucky!  I bought tickets to BB King's last tour."
"In Prague?"
"Yes."
"Oh wow, cool."
"Do you want to... how do you say... smoke up later?"

Another student informed me, "It's practically legal here!" as he whipped out a bag of some stuff he'd grown himself.  Those elite high school students can sure be trouble sometimes.

It was a pretty good time all around, though Czech culture can be kind of weird sometimes.  In a lot of ways, traditional Russian gatherings are very similar to Italian ones, or Greek even; people come together, drink a lot, eat a lot, and have long, often elaborate, meals while dicking around endlessly.  Czech culture is pub-centric, so all the dicking around normally goes on there and meals tend to be pretty short.  For some reason, it's normal for everyone in the family to eat before their guest, or simply away from their guest, so it was just me and that one brother eating dinner and breakfast together.  Yeah, I don't get it but whatever.

Oh well, time to get started on some final papers.  Keep on spreadin' the good word, readers.[/quote]]]></description>
<pubDate>Wed, 25 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0600</pubDate>
<link>http://www.drunkduck.com/PolkOut/?p=639367</link>
</item>

<item>
<title>Get Down on Your Knees for Me Baby</title>
<description><![CDATA[Come on over and check out the [url=http://www.polkout.com/forum/]forum[/url].

You can also see this comic on the main site [url=http://www.polkout.com/page203.htm]here[/url].

[quote=Polkster][b]Forum Update:[/b] Post in the new forum: [url=http://www.polkout.com/forum]www.PolkOut.com/forum[/url].  It's hosted on my server, and if that starts getting laggy in the future I can just pay for more bandwidth.  Any artistic contribution to the forum would be terrific.  You can still check out the [url=http://polkmaster.proboards62.com/index.cgi?]old forum[/url], and older pages will still link to it for now, so... uh... do whatever with that intel.

[b]Quick shit for newcomers:[/b] [url=http://www.polkout.com/forum]Forum[/url] (deviant bullshit), [url=polkout@gmail.com]Feedback[/url] (fan art, comments, critiques), [url=http://www.polkout.com/about.htm]About[/url] (check it out and contribute).  Do you have a website of your own you want me to give a shout out to?  Want to do a crazy guest strip?  You can reach me through that email or on the forums. 

Archive Alternative: PolkOut Redux, updated Monday through Friday with old strips in the same chronological order as in which they appeared on this site.  It's on DrunkDuck so you can rate the comics and comment directly underneath them:

[url=http://www.drunkduck.com/PolkOut/][img]http://www.polkout.com/PolkOutRedux.png[/img][/url]

So apparently, PolkOut.com's among the top five resources for [url=http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=did%20miranda%20cosgrove%20go%20through%20puberty%20yet?&btnG=Google%20Search&aq=f&oq=]teen idol pubescence status[/url].  I think it's because we here at PolkOut are willing to go that extra mile, like tying mirrors to our sneakers and rummaging through celebrity trash for used tampons and pregnancy tests.

[img]http://www.polkout.com/pragueblague13.png[/img]

I went to the zoo last week, it was kinda neat.  I saw a kangaroo and it hop hop hopped around, stopped, looked around, and I SHIT YOU NOT, IT'S BABY PEAKED OUT FROM THE POUCH AND LOOKED AROUND.  FUCK YEAH.  Every time I've ever gone to the zoo to look at kangaroos, those motherfuckers are always sleeping or playing with their dicks, never doing kangaroo-type things, but this time it did!  It did!

"How cliché." squawked my neighbor who'd come with me.  I punched him square in his jaded gut and uppercut his testicles into his nipples for disrespecting the baby kangaroo.

The zoo had hot chocolate vending machines which were awesome.  I tried hot white chocolate and it was mighty tasty.  It also felt pretty awesome to be able to buy a beer and watch the monkeys dick around on a ropey jungle gym thing while sipping away in the bright sunshine.  Monkeys are fucking great.

[img]http://www.polkout.com/4-14monkeytit.jpg[/img]

That's a monkey suckin' another monkey's tit!  Not only do they kind of look like us, use tools like us, and have shit-tossing battles in the tradition of Roman gladiators, they have the same hobbies as we do!  That monkey is a-okay in my book, hell I'd buy him a beer if he could verify he was of proper monkey drinking age.

On the other side of the coin, you know what animals totally suck?  Turtles, or tortoises, whatever, the ones with the flat stompy feet.  We walked into this dark room with a habitat of these fuckers in them, most of them laying in the corner, looking like sleeping Blastoises, save for this one couple...

[img]http://www.polkout.com/4-18turtleboner.jpg[/img]

These fuckers walk around like shitty Japanese robots.  Ever seen the ASIMO demos where that little robot just awkwardly jerks from foot to foot, walking... uh... robotically?  Well this one turtle mounted the other from the side, at right angle from the bottom one's vag (or anus, I'm not here to impose society's heteronormative standards on turtles), and then spent a solid fifteen minutes negotiating into proper boning orientation.  Yes, I stood there and watched him spasm into place.  But a turtle's vagina (or anus) is under its shell and the bottom turtle was all the way down to the ground, leaving no room for eager turtle cock to negotiate its way in there.  So instead top turtle just kinda kept stomping on bottom turtle's shell with its turtle-paws... for another fifteen minutes.  It was so goddamn frustrating, I wanted to break into that goddamn vivarium and show that dumb son of a bitch how it's done.

Also their heads look like grimy hobo cocks.

[img]http://www.polkout.com/4-18wtfpelican.jpg[/img]

I did not see any pelicans do this, but what the fuck is this supposed to be?  There's an illustration in the bottom corner but it was entirely in Czech.  If any of you readers can enlighten me, please do.

The zoo can be a pretty depressing place.  When my dog was on his way out, you know, on the fringes of the great mortal coil, all he would do is lay around and occasionally wander around aimlessly and poop.  The polar bears kept pacing back and forth in the same spot, these rodent things would just spasm around in circles; it seemed like that identical combination of hopelessness and boredom. 

Anyway, that was last week.  This update's late because this weekend, Friday and half of today, I was on a trip to meet and hang out in a small town with Czech students from a prestigious high school.  It was pretty fucking sweet but I'll save that material for the next Prague Blague.

Did I mention I've got bronchitis?  Yeah... not a fun time, though it's a reasonably decent excuse to sit around, drink OJ, and watch movies.  I couldn't get a hold of a lot of the newer stuff I've been curious about, but I did get to see [url=http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0383028/]Synecdoche, New York[/url].

I'll just preface by saying that I loved Adaptation, a terrific movie and one of the last Nicholas Cage films that wasn't sloppy diarrhea on celluloid.  And I saw a lot of what made Adaptation great in Synecdoche; the multilayered meta-narrative, the dream logic, the erratic humanity.  In fact, I loved the first hour of Synecdoche, maybe even the first hour and a half (the film runs almost an even two), but, ultimately, despite those elements pushed to an entirely new extreme, the end made me feel like I just watched a long, drawn out, pity party for the protagonist.  The resolution, if you can call it that, was a big, heavy, nihilistic sigh that didn't justify the two hour trek to get there. 

Charlie Kaufman, convinced that I'm an idiot, takes a shit on the film's ending with a fucking monologue that summarizes the goddamn theme of the whole thing.  There is a very obvious turning point to the story; even before that monologue, Kaufman clearly realized he had no idea where he was going with the story, so he flooded it with more convolution, hoping to mask the emptiness of the endeavor.  It's like a push-up bra, once you get that thing off you realize the contents aren't nearly as big as you'd thought.

It's an alright movie, hell it's three quarters of an awesome movie.

If anyone out there has any movie recommendations for me, send them my way.  And hey, give the forums a try.[/quote]]]></description>
<pubDate>Tue, 24 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0600</pubDate>
<link>http://www.drunkduck.com/PolkOut/?p=639077</link>
</item>

<item>
<title>Fist Fulfillment</title>
<description><![CDATA[Come on over and check out the [url=http://www.polkout.com/forum/]forum[/url].

You can also see this comic on the main site [url=http://www.polkout.com/page202.htm]here[/url].

[quote=Polkster][b]Forum Update:[/b] Post in the new forum: [url=http://www.polkout.com/forum]www.PolkOut.com/forum[/url].  It's hosted on my server, and if that starts getting laggy in the future I can just pay for more bandwidth.  Any artistic contribution to the forum would be terrific.  You can still check out the [url=http://polkmaster.proboards62.com/index.cgi?]old forum[/url], and older pages will still link to it for now, so... uh... do whatever with that intel.

[b]Quick shit for newcomers:[/b] [url=http://www.polkout.com/forum]Forum[/url] (deviant bullshit), [url=polkout@gmail.com]Feedback[/url] (fan art, comments, critiques), [url=http://www.polkout.com/about.htm]About[/url] (check it out and contribute).  Do you have a website of your own you want me to give a shout out to?  Want to do a crazy guest strip?  You can reach me through that email or on the forums. 

Archive Alternative: PolkOut Redux, updated Monday through Friday with old strips in the same chronological order as in which they appeared on this site.  It's on DrunkDuck so you can rate the comics and comment directly underneath them:

[url=http://www.drunkduck.com/PolkOut/][img]http://www.polkout.com/PolkOutRedux.png[/img][/url]

As for today's comic, it originally had one extra panel:

[img]http://www.polkout.com/praguepolk9.png[/img]

Was deleting it the right move?  I stared at it for a while before finally figuring, you know, that last part seems a bit unnecessary.  But whatever, I guess you all now have some insight into my creative process... not that it matters, or is helpful, or will ever mean anything to anyone...

In other site news, this week's been pretty weird in terms of hits.  I've been getting users from China, Singapore, and Pakistan, which is... uh... awesome.  I met some Chinese students when I went to Beijing last year so maybe it's them, but why they'd wait a year to check my shit out... who knows? 

Remember that update where I posted random older stuff I drew, back in high school or whenever?  I found some more, but I'm not sure if I've posted this one before... it was an entry into a character design contest; they wanted three designs: a male, a female, and an other.  All were to be submitted separately and users o the site would vote.  I did not win.  Here is my combined entry:

[img]http://www.polkout.com/billybettyetc..png[/img]

I figured it was entertaining enough to post.

[img]http://www.polkout.com/Pragueblague12.png[/img]

Seeing that graffiti on the street gave me a little nerd boner, true story.  I was out the door, about to head West to Praha 1 to meet my dad, who'd come by for a visit, when I spotted this beauty.  I hiked back up to my room and grabbed my camera because such civil disobedience had to be chronicled for future generations.

In random [url=http://www.zoopraha.cz/en/about-animals/news/gorilla-kamba]Prague news[/url]:
"At least people will realize that the zoo is not an exposition of stuffed animals or a film for children where a happy end is necessary." 
- Bitter, and suspiciously defensive, Prague Zoo representative commenting on the Kamba, a gorilla's, failed delivery.

A few nights ago--well, alright, I guess it was about a week--one of the girls in my building walked into my room (I forget why, but it was probably to seduce me or maybe just touch my junk a little) when she noticed my underwear pile in the corner...

"Uh... yeah, sorry about that... it's... uh, my laundry pile..." I stammered.
"Eh, no worries, mine's way worse."
"You've got a pile of dirty underwear in your room?"
"Yeah, it's like a mountain of the stuff."
"Do you think I... could... Scrooge McDuck that shit?"
"Huh?"
"Swim around in it, bask in its splendor, maybe throw some of your dirty panties over my face and jerk off a bit..."
"...uh... sure."

Unfortunately, readers, when I arrived to her room a day or two later she had already done her laundry.  However, this story isn't pointless!  Oh no!  The next night three ladies from my building, ones I'd never imagined would actually ever read this shit, approached me and asked, "Could you make a t-shirt with a Scrooge McDuck version of you diving into a giant pile of underwear?"

The result of my efforts:

[img]http://www.polkout.com/PolkScroogeFit.png[/img]

After I finished this I thought, hey, you know, this could make a decent desktop wallpaper for my fans.  I've never done one of those before so I figured why not? 

Here's the [url=http://www.polkout.com/PolkScroogeFullSize.png]gigantic full sized version[/url] that you can scale yourself, but I've also gone to the liberty of scaling the image to three common wallpaper sizes:
[url=http://www.polkout.com/PolkScroogeWallpaper1600x1200.png]1600 x 1200[/url]
[url=http://www.polkout.com/PolkScroogeWallpaper1280x1024.png]1280 x 1024[/url]
[url=http://www.polkout.com/PolkScroogeWallpaper1024x768]1024 x 768[/url]

I know a lot of my female readers have longed to have my dive into them and now that dream has come closer to fruition than ever before:

[url=http://www.cafepress.com/polkout.69463436][img]http://www.polkout.com/polkpanties.png[/img][/url]

I'm honed in, like a heat-seeking missile guided right towards your baby-makin' crevice.  Don't fret, my intentions are noble, my methods gentle (backstroke, breaststroke, butterfly, all up in your uterine fluids).

I didn't know how to orient the image onto a shirt, like the girls originally asked, so I framed it and put a little title on the top and the url on the bottom.  If you think there's a better way to do it, or a better title to use, or whatever, just let me know via [url=PolkOut@gmail.com]email[/url] or the [url=http://www.polkout.com/forum]forums[/url].

It's on a [url=http://www.cafepress.com/polkout]bunch of shirts[/url] now; if you select the black one you can pick from a set of colors that aren't advertised separately.  All shirts are sold at zero profit for me, so what you see are the minimum CafePress prices--I do it that way because I'd rather have everyone who buys one act as a walking billboard than be ripped off.  If you have a custom design request or want a design from one product placed on another, again, email or forums.

[img]http://www.polkout.com/4-4omnomnom.png[/img]

OM NOM NOM!

Anyway, here's that gnome that I bought in Paris for five bucks (Euro-bucks... aka... too many America-bucks):

[img]http://www.polkout.com/4-10gnome1.png[/img]

Note the binoculars.  What kind of people sport binoculars?  Bird watchers, scouts, hunters...

[img]http://www.polkout.com/4-10gnome2.png[/img]

...and PERVERTS!  Look at this, he's choking that dolphin/duck hybrid, yanking it out of his own asshole!  What the fuck, French gnome makers, what the fuck?!

That girl in the comic, I should note, was that intern who couldn't pack fudge properly.  She was over here, drinking with Special K, when I showed her the gnome and she suggested we name it.   We proceeded to do so democratically, and, well, the result was pretty much what one would expect given a decision between me, the half-assed fudge-packer, and K:

Yes, readers, we have dubbed this little guy: Septic Queef Gnome

I'm sure most of you are aware of the fact that Barack Obama was in town last week.  I'm not the biggest Barack fan (as an aside: you live in New York, surrounded by all sorts of teenage and twenty-something tools and you know it's kind of unsettling when they're wearing Che Guevara shirts one week and Obama shirts the next.  The whole cult of personality thing is fucking weird.  Now I'm cautiously optimistic of what Obama can do and his intentions but I'm willing to wait four, or maybe eight years before declaring him the messiah--and I sure as shit won't go parading around with paraphernalia like some Maoist circa the 60's) but this was his first public speech to the European Union as POTUS and I was fifteen minutes away so it seemed obligatory to go.  My neighbor and I got up at 4:30 in the morning to hike out to the event where we stood, packed like sardines in a gay porno, until 10:30, or was it 11:00?  I forget, it felt like fucking forever, waiting for Obama to speak.  I've never seen so many people in one place in Prague before; 20,000 people in a city of 1.2 million is a pretty big slice of the people pie.  I was tired and hungry and my legs hurt from standing for all those many hours; it felt like they were cock-teasing us the entire time.  Music music music STOP oh man he's gonna speamusic music music STOP now maybe? LIVE BAND music music WHAT THE FUCmusic music music STOP okay, now he's gonmusic music music...  I fucking frustrated when he finally got on but I thought the speech was decent, its aims noble, a good time all around.  I'm glad I went, it felt historic in a way.

But the best part of the whole thing was when I got to snap a picture with the guy:

[img]http://www.polkout.com/4-10Obama.png[/img]
[/quote]]]></description>
<pubDate>Mon, 23 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0600</pubDate>
<link>http://www.drunkduck.com/PolkOut/?p=638761</link>
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