BIOS!
>:0 has a hell of a lot of characters. Why? Because I use almost exclusively people from my own life, and a lot of my friends and fellow students have requested inclusion in the comic, or they've done something particularly funny that I choose to insert into the comic alongside their likeness. Primarily, >:0 has a handful of main characters and a slew of not-as-regular characters, as well as a few people who only made it in once or twice. They're all included here.
Note: I have to admit, I sometimes have trouble telling fact from fiction. A lot of the information here might not be evident from the comic -- again, this is because everyone's a real person with a real personality. There's NOTHING INCRIMINATING on this page, though, so if anything sounds a little off color ("he once killed a man"), I'm totally making it up. There are character differences between what's on here and what's in real life, but they do blend, and, like I said, I'm not always so good at telling the difference.
**if anyone featured here doesn't like what's written about them for any reason, let me know**
SUZI
Suzi is >:0's loving matriarch: the self-deprecating protaganist of sorts, as well as being the writer and illustrator. She's gone through the most style changes over the course of the comic because she's way too sensitive to little differences in herself. Her favorite things to do are drawing, breaking the fourth wall, crying, making bad puns, being sleep-deprived, eating, playing piano, playing pokémon yellow, pretending to be goth, and Kit. She also loves birds and talking about bird genitals. She first appeared in comic #1, is the character most frequently used, and once took an online test that told her that there was a 96% likelihood that she has been regularly abducted by aliens.
ALEX
Alex has slowly become the second in command (and folly) here at >:0 because he has incredible facial hair. Since his first appearance in comic #4 as a
KIT
The semi-official mascot of >:0, Kit is the character most identifiable from his comicked form. His hideous catchphrase, "buh!", became an overnight success after Suzi vomited it up during an allnighter in April. He is easily the most well-liked >:0 character due to his extreme cuteness. Kit's favorite things are the internet, hating the internet, using the internet, pwning the internet, making the internet better, exploiting the riches of the internet, spending all his time on the internet, Suzi, and sandwiches. He also wears a big inside-out denim jacket, and often has really really long hair. If you go through the archive, you can watch his hair get longer, and then suddenly get cut off, then get longer...
JACK
Jack's essence has been notoriously difficult to capture in the comic medium, and Suzi attributes his mediocre recognition to this lack of solid control. Jack is also just hard to define on paper, period. I've been sitting here for like, five minutes straight. He's ... something else. His favorite things are all too dangerous to list here. Oh. Cute things. He likes cute things. And fish! He likes fish. Living fish. You should see his tanks. Yes. His tanks. Totally the most interesting thing about his house. (not)
VICKY
Vicky is a year ahead of most of the other >:0 characters, and therefore left for COLLEGE at the end of summer 2006. Before she left, however, Vicky was a regular part of >:0 and was loved by all. I guess. Something. Her unholy skinniness and dominating spirit won the hearts of millions, culminating in her Oscar nomination mere minutes before she left for upstate New York. Vicky's favorite things are buttsex, filming, and filming buttsex. She's also pretty fond of a lot of tv shows and enjoys listening to the radio (which scares me to this day!)
BRIAN
Brian is unnaturally short and unnaturally scary. Destined to be a mad scientist or a programmer, he is only in direct view of the sun on his way to the bus after school gets out, a period of approximately 30 seconds. His favorite things are stealing Suzi's seat, referring to himself in the third person (with fanatic adherance), hating Suzi, eating and distributing Pringles, and anime, I guess. He might like cows.
SAM
Sam doesn't go to the same school as the rest of the cast, but loves them just the same (possibly more). Sam has been married to pie, diagnosed Suzi with dinosaur syphilis, and likes video games. He was a Tetris block for Halloween, and it was the coolest thing I've ever witnessed. I'm a dirty harlot-whore-slut-scullion-prostitute for not comicking that. Sam spends most of his time playing with his Wii.
ERIC
Eric is the official >:0 fanboy and business manager, as well as Yellow Shirt Guy. Suzi keeps him in a tiny tiny cage somewhere in her basement, where he listens to bad pop music and watches the same rerun of Jeopardy over and over and over again. It's rumored that he is the smartest being on earth, but there's a fungus in South America that begs to differ. Eric's recent disappearance from the comic is due to the fact that he is a lot smarter than Suzi.
DREW
Drew isn't in >:0 nearly enough. He lived in Khazakstan for a few years in his childhood, orders tea at restaurants, and is extremely tall and skinny. He likes techno music, improv club, and clown bondage. I made the
CHRIS
I'm pretty sure Chris only showed up once or twice in the very beginning. He's going to Harvard next year.
ANNIE
Annie should be in >:0 more often but Suzi's lazy. She has a pet asian and wishes he would turn into Hugh Laurie sometimes. Her interests include Hugh Laurie, birds, House, sticking her tongue into dark places, and having really big eyes. She makes really good noises, but alas, >:0 was designed with deaf people in mind.
BLAIR
Blair's kinda emo.
ABBY
Like Vicky, Abby is a year ahead of the rest of the gang. She used to bug Suzi so much about being in the comic that it really started to hurt. She's spending the 2006-2007 school year studying acting in England and comes back on occasion just to remind everyone that she knows how to talk really loudly.
MARY
Mary is Suzi's sister and has a lot of hair. She usually appears when Suzi is alone for a long time and has nothing to comic about besides what's happening at home, and well, Mary happens to live in the same house. Sometimes she's a communist.
EMILY
Emily shows up sometimes because she's been superglued to Drew. Suzi draws her to detract from the hideous growth on the other side of Drew's stomach.
KEZ
Having known Suzi for over 6 years on the internet, Kez introduced Suzi to Drunk Duck and got her interested in this thing called webcomics way before anyone else, I guess. She wears a hat in the comic because hats are really neat, and so is Kez.
CASEY
Casey is Suzi's evil parrot, who has more personality than any 7 randomly chosen >:0 cast members combined. Like Mary, he's only included when nothing else happens for a while.
JESSE
SOMETIMES IN GROUP PICTURES YOU NEED SOMEONE JUMPING UP AND SCREAMING WITH REALLY AWESOME HAIR. That's why Jesse was born.
BEN
He shows up in >:0 when something silly happens in the morning before school and Suzi can't find a way to not include him.
SHANA
Suzi and Shana used to have a lot of classes together, but then they both got stupid. She's possibly the only female >:0 character that Suzi can stand being around for more than 3 seconds at a time because she's manly enough to take the heat. huh.
FRY
Alex's pet manboy, Fry is incapable of eating anything besides cigarettes and corn. When he saw himself in the latest >:0 group shot, he inquired, "WHERE'S MUH CORN AND CIGGY"
JUNIPER
Never actually appearing in anything other than the last group shot, Juniper is nonetheless one of the more important people in Suzi's life. She likes to call Suzi and talk for a long time and then ask for Suzi's advice, which turns out to almost always be "I dunno" or "let's take the Metro to Cheesecake Factory and eat some avocado eggrolls".