Gaze! Gaze ye inbred simpletons! Gaze ye weary readers trudging through a desert of dry and witless comics! For an oasis appears before ye! An oasis appears to satiate your thirst! Iron forged in the depths of Hades, tempered by the hammer and anvil of mighty Hephaestus, cooled in brisk waters led to cool the brow of the Olympians themselves comes a sword. A sword with which to cut though the vale of rhyme and reason! A sword to brandish against a humorless world.

Nay, I nary speak of Mighty Mjöllnir, not of Brave Excalibur or valiant Caduceus. No Zulfiqar, no Hrunting, no Caladbolg or Tizona is so mighty a weapon. For the weapon I speak of knows but one name,

Cashcow

Join me, friends. Join me enemies and indifferents and revel in merriment! Learn ye of epic myth, view ye scenic pastures and dewy valley and let yourself be carried away on the wings of immeasurable art and beauteous writing. But, hark. Though you look upon the face of perfection, be stalwart in thine own art. For true be it that no man, woman or child may match such a media conquest such as mine, but your own efforts are noble nevertheless.

Take heart, may contain references to deviant sexuality and general tastelessness.