This comic is for T+ audiences.

Okay, usually I don't take crits well. But I do know I need them, so I offer up my first webcomic for plugging and opinions. It only has 13 pages so far, so the story hasn't really taken off yet. I've taken a lot of inspiration from filmmakers like David Lynch and Jan Svankmajer, so I'm going for an alienated, oppressive sort of feel. Obviously just because of that I don't have a particularly wide audience.

I am aware of some art problems and choppiness in some of the storytelling, so don't attack me too much. xP I've also fixed my speech bubbles and such. When I started it I only had PS Essentials 2. Sad.

Anyway, hope it doesn't cause you to want to gouge your eyes out from crappiness.
http://www.drunkduck.com/Terpsichore/index.php?p=359123

:D Totally bumping this. It's an awesome, depessing comic! XP

Bump. I updated.

Here is an extra bump for you!

You draw a damned good hallway, and your closeups of characters are really interesting. I enjoy your style (such a moody atmosphere), and it is impressive that you made an entire animation. It must have been really labor-intensive, right? There are many good things that I could say about the art, especially because it's a style I've always liked. It's sketchy, yet often detailed.

Since you asked for criticisms - I imagine that her skull will look proportionately larger because her body is so emaciated, but it's also taller than normal, isn't it?

good news:
-great sotry, really feel the depression...makes me want to look for some razor blades.

bad news:
-art style is nice, but its very sketchy...cleaning up some of your lines would go a long way.
-im not really a fan of overboarded tones. Its obvious you are trying to cover up the lack of backgrounds with them...but like i said, this is just personal taste and really nitpicky.
-boring page layouts...but thats a really minor nitpick.


overall, Id say just work a little on anatomy and perspective, and the art will be as good as the story.

6/10