Just started posting more pages in the last couple of days. Go check it out, and if you feel the burning desire to critique it, awesome.
The Story:
Rei Kimihiro job is to destroy the ones called the "Fallen". But when he enters high school, things get a bit complicated. His twin sister, Ren, has transfered to his school expectingly and now has to keep his secret from her while living under the same roof.
Oh, and lots of traps, reverse traps, and boobs. Whats more to want?
http://www.drunkduck.com/Fallen_Dreams/
going away - Hey Everyone Look What I Did!
[PLUG&CRIT] Fallen Dreams Manga
TheFallen
at 4:22PM, June 8, 2008
(offline)
posts: 19
joined: 8-4-2007
last edited on July 14, 2011 4:16PM
TheFallen
at 1:49AM, June 13, 2008
(offline)
posts: 19
joined: 8-4-2007
some critiques would be highly appreciated. :D
last edited on July 14, 2011 4:16PM
mishi_hime
at 4:32PM, June 13, 2008
(online)
posts: 1,762
joined: 7-17-2006
CRIT of Fallen Dreams
Art
Most of the pages look like they were drawn quite quickly and then were promptly slapped with a bunch of tones. Most of the comic seems to cater to the yaoi crowd, all see is a shirtless young and feminine boy. Needless, to say the art really Isn't that good at all.
But then I see this gorgeous fillers. And I gotta tell you, that I can barley tell that the same person did the comic. The fillers are nice clean lines, and feature some nice Photoshop work. I can see actual effort an creativity. It baffles me why the comic doesn't look more like them.
Story
There are very few pages to Fallen. So it's almost impossible for me to properly critique the story. But even if there were more pages, I'm going to guess that they would all be filler.
The story starts off with what feels like a Tsubasa rip off. Something about memories and feathers...and from there on continues with kawaii yaoi boy and his adventures at school. I might have tl;dr this one...It didn't hold my interests. Also I was drowning in filler.
Suggestions
I don't think this artist is ready to draw a serial comic. This looks like a 10 minute whenever I feel like it or I'm bored project. The art is shabby, despite the fact the artist knows how to draw anime quite well. They need to invest more time in this comic and not rely so much on manga studio, or whatever they use to do the work for them. They need to study the basics and not emulate so much of what's around them, or they will get lost in the cliche of manga.
Overall
Fallen feels more like a DA account. There are more random drawings than comic. What is there has no substance and is classic anime gimmick. Perhaps you're looking for smackjeeves?
Art
Most of the pages look like they were drawn quite quickly and then were promptly slapped with a bunch of tones. Most of the comic seems to cater to the yaoi crowd, all see is a shirtless young and feminine boy. Needless, to say the art really Isn't that good at all.
But then I see this gorgeous fillers. And I gotta tell you, that I can barley tell that the same person did the comic. The fillers are nice clean lines, and feature some nice Photoshop work. I can see actual effort an creativity. It baffles me why the comic doesn't look more like them.
Story
There are very few pages to Fallen. So it's almost impossible for me to properly critique the story. But even if there were more pages, I'm going to guess that they would all be filler.
The story starts off with what feels like a Tsubasa rip off. Something about memories and feathers...and from there on continues with kawaii yaoi boy and his adventures at school. I might have tl;dr this one...It didn't hold my interests. Also I was drowning in filler.
Suggestions
I don't think this artist is ready to draw a serial comic. This looks like a 10 minute whenever I feel like it or I'm bored project. The art is shabby, despite the fact the artist knows how to draw anime quite well. They need to invest more time in this comic and not rely so much on manga studio, or whatever they use to do the work for them. They need to study the basics and not emulate so much of what's around them, or they will get lost in the cliche of manga.
Overall
Fallen feels more like a DA account. There are more random drawings than comic. What is there has no substance and is classic anime gimmick. Perhaps you're looking for smackjeeves?
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:03PM
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