going away - Hey Everyone Look What I Did!

[Crit] Planet Of The Manio
Manio at 6:19PM, Nov. 10, 2006
(offline)
posts: 7
joined: 7-21-2006
I need crits and a lot of well you get the point...I started the comic today!
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:51PM
Darth Mongoose at 5:09AM, Nov. 11, 2006
(online)
posts: 488
joined: 1-7-2006
I cannot follow the plot of what's going on at all, it all just seems to be a disjointed sequence of encounters with different characters at the moment. Everywhere having the same background doesn't help matters, I can't tell if people are coming and going to the place where the recoloured sonic is or whether he's moving to different areas and meeting new people. There's no feeling of continuity or cohesion.
I think you need to slow things down, spend more time meeting the different characters and stop jumping the scene about so much.
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:08PM

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