I haven't got my comic critiqued for a while so i will post it again.
Please critique fair and i would prefer if you comment good AND bad points so i can improve.
here's the link
The Last Quest

I like 'Last Quest'. I think you have huge amounts of potential as a comic artist because of your understanding of visual narrative and character design.
The things you need to work on are all the things which make a comic look polished and professional: Backgrounds, Anatomy and Layout.

Backgrounds: You could do with some more environmental detail. It doesn't have to be every panel, in fact, check out any professional manga, you'll find there are only a few panels every scene with detailed backgrounds. The rest of the time they'll be simplified or missing. Try introducing the odd 'Establishing shot', which is a zoomed out shot showing the environment at the start of a scene. 'Aspect' panels can help too, that's a panel which shows some detail of the scene which helps set the atmosphere. You can overlay conversations on these shots too and thus break up a dialogue page and stop it being all headshots. More information on the world the characters are in helps build up atmosphere and make the reader feel involved.

Anatomy: I love the character designs, by the way, I think they're great. Also, you're putting in effort on the hands! Good work! With a little work on your anatomical details, you could make the characters look even better though. Areas you should concentrate on are the joints (elbows and knees) the pelvic area (yes, in other words, the groin. Where the legs meet the body) and the jawline (to make the head and neck more distinct from each other). You may also find that if you made the eyes or your characters a little more detailed, you could depict a wider range of emotions with them, but the other points I listed are more important, simple eyes may be just part of your style and not necessarily a bad thing. With an understanding of anatomy, you'd be able to draw your characters from unusual and interesting angles and bring in a new dimension of dynamism to your scenes.

Layout: Don't do a thing to change your visual narrative. You're an absolute natural at knowing what to put in your boxes (now that's a skill I know many comickers would kill for!). If you spent a little more time on how you arrange and present the boxes though, you'd find yourself getting a more professional look. Putting a white border between panels is the most obvious thing. There are manga which use line divides, like 'Fruits Basket' but it works better with delicate, lightly toned shoujo stuff. I think padded divides would look better since your style is more shounen and bold. If you draw a thumbnail of your page before drawing it, you'll find you can plan your boxes in advance and come up with really interesting page layouts. Have a look at some manga for inspiration and try some stuff out.

Well, I've rambled long enough. You don't have to listen to everything I've said (or even anything I've said, haha) try some things out and see where a little experimentation takes you.
Good Luck!

thankyou very much i will do what you said. but slowly because i find it hard to completely change suddenly so keep your eye out for changes!
<333

That's cool. I wouldn't expect you to instantly implement every single thing I said there. I decided to cover everything, that way you can work at the different bits at your own pace. What I like to do when people give me crits is set one or two little goals per page, like 'this page, I'll do try to draw the clothes better like that guy said last page...'

Here, have some fanart. I would have coloured it, but...er...there are no colour pictures in your comic and I'm really fussy on doing things right ^_^; Hope you like it!

its actually tarami not tamari as in from naruto but lol whatever.
:3
thanks!
<333

Weird, I'm sure it said 'Tamari'... Should have checked more. (The Naruto character is called 'Temari') Well, you can rub that bit out, hahaha.

Darth Mongoose
Weird, I'm sure it said 'Tamari'... Should have checked more. (The Naruto character is called 'Temari') Well, you can rub that bit out, hahaha.

same dif.
xD

I don't know what I could say that Fandango didn't already say.

You do have potential and you have great character design.

I think you need to work on anatomy first for now. Also, try and make a better comic layout (lines aren't pretty at all for the current layout).

You also don't write very big, so either make your talk bubbles smaller or make the writing bigger (either way, it works).

Usually, I'd say "add colour" but for now, learning better anatomy and layout should always come first.

Well, for now, this comic looks good and I would just advice you to keep going.

Priest_Revan
I don't know what I could say that Fandango didn't already say.
always come first.

....Wait, what? My comic started talking? That's pretty impressive.

Priest_Revan
I don't know what I could say that Fandango didn't already say.

You do have potential and you have great character design.

I think you need to work on anatomy first for now. Also, try and make a better comic layout (lines aren't pretty at all for the current layout).

You also don't write very big, so either make your talk bubbles smaller or make the writing bigger (either way, it works).

Usually, I'd say "add colour" but for now, learning better anatomy and layout should always come first.

Well, for now, this comic looks good and I would just advice you to keep going.

well maybe eventually i will add color but mainly i wanted it to be B+W but yes i will try to do better on anatomy and eventually i will come up with a better layout.

gotta say, i agree with this too. ya seem like you are studying some what, cuase i remember when i started realy getting into it, that's how a lot of my stuff looked. you just have a lot to learn. dont be afraid to go back and redo things if you have too. Drop Dead,the story that comes after Putrid Meat which i've been working on for years and years has had so many reincarnations i cant keep count of em anymore. as you go along, not only will your art get better, but your story telling, you'll learn how to write dialogue in a compact and effective manner and learn how to scuplt your story to suite what you want,and what'll make the most sense. and it WILL take a lot of time, bottom line is just keep working on it and working on it. crack that fuckin whip.

Priest_Revan
I don't know what I could say that Fandango didn't already say.

You do have potential and you have great character design.

I think you need to work on anatomy first for now. Also, try and make a better comic layout (lines aren't pretty at all for the current layout).

You also don't write very big, so either make your talk bubbles smaller or make the writing bigger (either way, it works).

Usually, I'd say "add colour" but for now, learning better anatomy and layout should always come first.

Well, for now, this comic looks good and I would just advice you to keep going.

Darth Mongoose

Priest_Revan
I don't know what I could say that Fandango didn't already say.
always come first.

....Wait, what? My comic started talking? That's pretty impressive.

I know, isn't it?

PIT_FACE
gotta say, i agree with this too. ya seem like you are studying some what, cuase i remember when i started realy getting into it, that's how a lot of my stuff looked. you just have a lot to learn. dont be afraid to go back and redo things if you have too. Drop Dead,the story that comes after Putrid Meat which i've been working on for years and years has had so many reincarnations i cant keep count of em anymore. as you go along, not only will your art get better, but your story telling, you'll learn how to write dialogue in a compact and effective manner and learn how to scuplt your story to suite what you want,and what'll make the most sense. and it WILL take a lot of time, bottom line is just keep working on it and working on it. crack that fuckin whip.

Priest_Revan
I don't know what I could say that Fandango didn't already say.

You do have potential and you have great character design.

I think you need to work on anatomy first for now. Also, try and make a better comic layout (lines aren't pretty at all for the current layout).

You also don't write very big, so either make your talk bubbles smaller or make the writing bigger (either way, it works).

Usually, I'd say "add colour" but for now, learning better anatomy and layout should always come first.

Well, for now, this comic looks good and I would just advice you to keep going.

Thankyou very much! i was a little scared before the change the style of my comic but you gave me the confidence i needed. Thanks you three! you have no idea how much your advice helped me see things in my mind so that i can improve! i will take all your advice to heart.

no problem!you seem to have potential, keep 'er goin,taco.