This is the topic for my general writings. Here we go:
Final Fantasy Seven novelization
I haven't worked on this for a while, but it's still in the works.
Prologue--Cloud and Rain
Chapter One--The Prime Reactor
Chapter Two--Escape
Poems
Only one that I've posted. I wrote it back in fifth grade.
Legendary Dinner
General Songs
Theses are songs I worte for various reasons. They're really dark for the most part--ye have been properly warned. A good exception would be Ocean of Fire.
Terminal
Reach
Mirror of Life
The End
Truth
Give
Fate
Silence
Fire and Ice
Ocean of Fire
Theory of Everything .
Shadows
Brimstone
Rising Sun
Here are a number of songs and writings for Rising Sun. Enjoy.
Two stories that follow each other, set a thousand years ago.
Zero's Choice
En Memoriam
A number of songs for the Rising Sun games.
Hero's Way
Stand
Turn Your Head--William Acorn's theme
Perfect Chaos--Chaos Emerl's theme
Live the Ride--Riley's theme
Walkalone--Ben's theme
The Game Eternal--Zero Strife's theme
RIDERS!
Here's stuff for RIDERS!.
RIDERS! theme song--Ride the Sky
RIDERS! story start
More will be added as it is written. Comments and critique are greatly appreciated.
going away - Art & Literature Corner
William's Writings
William Acorn
at 9:41AM, Jan. 27, 2006
(offline)
posts: 19
joined: 1-24-2006
last edited on July 14, 2011 4:49PM
Mazoo
at 10:12AM, Jan. 29, 2006
(offline)
posts: 601
joined: 1-2-2006
Legendary Dinner seemed silly to me, and I liked it.
Terminal was pretty good. I liked how you ended it with the word "then." It left the reader hoping there was something else, something more to it, but in a good way.
I really like your repitition style for Reach; it would make a good song. However, there were a few lines that were awkward, like "And you can't seem to make it to anyone's stay," and "Lost in my night, can't make my way out/ And I can't seem to shake this shadow of doubt." The first one just doesn't go with the style of the song, so it was sort of jolting to read and messed up the smoothness that the style creates. The second part rhymes nicely, but it's jolting like the first one.
The duality of Mirror of Life was good. Dark, yet almost inspiring, in a way.
Am I finding a "shout out" to Green Day in The End, about "Saint Jimmy's" kin? Haha, nice, nice. I don't really find much wrong with the last 4 lines as much as the last 2 lines. It sounds like you're really just trying to rhyme them as best as you can. Try to keep the idea, but make it so it doesn't necessarily rhyme. If it does, great, if it doesn't, great anyway!
I agree with you in thinking that Give needs some work. The first line starts it out in a rocky way. It's like you tried copying that repitition style you have in Reach. Try to stay away from that here, I don't think it works that well with this song.
Fate has got to be my favorite so far. Those opening 4 lines? Awesome! "Winds of blood and wings of steel"? Amazing symbolism and what a picture it creates! "Raising an army of the damned to fight the army of the dead" Wow. That is an awesome idea. They only thing that was awkward to me was the word "up" in the chorus line "Offer your soul and your mouth up to sing?" I read it smoother without the word "up."
Fire and Ice was good! I like how there weren't really sentences as much as fragments of ideas and such. I liked it.
Ocean of Fire was really good. You captured that feeling really well, and I like the pictures the verses create. However, in the line "My eyes are clear, and now I’m astound" is a little weird. You're using the verb "astound" here incorrectly, and I think it's just so it'll rhyme with the line before it. It really should be "astounded." If it's really going to be a song, the singers and melodies should be able to manipulate the word "astounded" with "unbound" in the line before.
I liked Theory of Everything, and I agree it sounds more like a poem than a song.
I'll probably come back later to get some of your other writings too. Overall, you're very talented, and I like a lot of the songs you have written. However, with some of them, they have that typical rhythmn when you begin, like in Brimstone. I'm not sure how to describe it, but it's something you find in many amatuer songs. Try to stay away from that (if you get what I'm saying. :roll: )
Terminal was pretty good. I liked how you ended it with the word "then." It left the reader hoping there was something else, something more to it, but in a good way.
I really like your repitition style for Reach; it would make a good song. However, there were a few lines that were awkward, like "And you can't seem to make it to anyone's stay," and "Lost in my night, can't make my way out/ And I can't seem to shake this shadow of doubt." The first one just doesn't go with the style of the song, so it was sort of jolting to read and messed up the smoothness that the style creates. The second part rhymes nicely, but it's jolting like the first one.
The duality of Mirror of Life was good. Dark, yet almost inspiring, in a way.
Am I finding a "shout out" to Green Day in The End, about "Saint Jimmy's" kin? Haha, nice, nice. I don't really find much wrong with the last 4 lines as much as the last 2 lines. It sounds like you're really just trying to rhyme them as best as you can. Try to keep the idea, but make it so it doesn't necessarily rhyme. If it does, great, if it doesn't, great anyway!
I agree with you in thinking that Give needs some work. The first line starts it out in a rocky way. It's like you tried copying that repitition style you have in Reach. Try to stay away from that here, I don't think it works that well with this song.
Fate has got to be my favorite so far. Those opening 4 lines? Awesome! "Winds of blood and wings of steel"? Amazing symbolism and what a picture it creates! "Raising an army of the damned to fight the army of the dead" Wow. That is an awesome idea. They only thing that was awkward to me was the word "up" in the chorus line "Offer your soul and your mouth up to sing?" I read it smoother without the word "up."
Fire and Ice was good! I like how there weren't really sentences as much as fragments of ideas and such. I liked it.
Ocean of Fire was really good. You captured that feeling really well, and I like the pictures the verses create. However, in the line "My eyes are clear, and now I’m astound" is a little weird. You're using the verb "astound" here incorrectly, and I think it's just so it'll rhyme with the line before it. It really should be "astounded." If it's really going to be a song, the singers and melodies should be able to manipulate the word "astounded" with "unbound" in the line before.
I liked Theory of Everything, and I agree it sounds more like a poem than a song.
I'll probably come back later to get some of your other writings too. Overall, you're very talented, and I like a lot of the songs you have written. However, with some of them, they have that typical rhythmn when you begin, like in Brimstone. I'm not sure how to describe it, but it's something you find in many amatuer songs. Try to stay away from that (if you get what I'm saying. :roll: )
Life Like Weeds : On hiatus
Other Art Stuffs
What am I up to?
Other Art Stuffs
What am I up to?
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:56PM
William Acorn
at 9:15AM, Jan. 31, 2006
(offline)
posts: 19
joined: 1-24-2006
Thank you for all the constructive comments ^_^
I have two new songs, Demons and Skip a Beat . I also posted a couple RIDERS! story bits.
I have two new songs, Demons and Skip a Beat . I also posted a couple RIDERS! story bits.
last edited on July 14, 2011 4:49PM
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