PAGE 1:

PANEL A: *Exterior Shot of a 12 floor building,a big floored sign outside reads: ARROW labs of Nano technology studies, and experimentation it is dawn out as the lab is going to close*

Panel B: *A shot of a women wearing casual clothes holding a white science coat walking out a door while a man is looking at something through a microscope*

Female walking out: "See ya Ben have a nice weekend."
Male at desk: "Bye Karen say hi to John for me."

Panel C: *The building is dark, every 5 lights are on, giving off sort of horror movie feel,as a very close up shot of the man's finger pressing the call button on the elevator.*
{SFX-Click}
: C'mon C'mon

PANEL D: *The elevator is shown open as 3 men are seen as the women who said bye is laying on the elevator floor dead from a gunshot wound to the head. One of the men is a Tall well built black man with long dreads wearing all black holding a impressive handgun with a silencer. Another man is a white average built man also wearing all black he is leaning on the back of the elevator his arms crossed he has a smart alack smile holding a well designed knife. The last man would be wearing an all black trench coat his face would have a long scar going across it the man would look as though he was in his mid fifties he would be standing in the middle of the elevator.

Man leaning on back of elevator: "You chose the wrong night to work overtime."

PANEL E: *A shot of the scientist hitting the ground face first*
{SFX-THUD}
"Unlock it!"

PAGE 2

Panel A: *A mid shot of the scientist sweating bullets inputting a code on a small chrome safe on a wall. as the black man with dread holds a gun to the his head, as the other two watch*
{SFX-BEEP BEEP BEEP}

Man unlocking safe: "please don't kill me, please don't kill me, please don't kill me." I'm just a regular guy nano science nerd. I won't tell anyone ,just take the stuff, and I won't say anything!"

Smart Aleck man with knife: "We won't hurt you we just want what's in the safe."

PANEL B: *A small panel of a view from the inside of the safe looking out as the office man opens it looking ecstatic.*

Office man: Really!

Panel C : * A small panel right next to Panel B of the view still inside the safe looking out as the man's eyes bulge, and his mouth gapes open.
{SFX-Pew}(silenced gun fire)

Panel D: *The scientist man drops to the ground dead from a gun shot to the head*
{SFX- Thud}
Smart Aleck guy: "No."

Panel E*A bird's eye view of the 3 men as 1 of them is reaching inside the safe, the dead body is lying in a puddle of his own blood, as the smart Aleck man puts his gun away.

(In case not clear on setting they 're in a laboratory there are test tubes on tables, computers blinking, and beeping, and tools, and equipment everywhere)


Smart Aleck guy: "Man I like doing that."

PAGE 3

Panel A: *The man with the scar is holding a box with a test tube , and a syringe in it inside the test tube is what seems like hundreds of very VERY small silver ants. --Close up on the test tube, and syringe--

Black man with dreads: "That's it! We're getting paid to steal that?"

Man with scar: "No..."

Panel B: *A very slim panel of a close shot of the scarred man's eyes, they looks sneaky, and evil.*

Man with scar: "I am.."

Panel C: *Man with dreads with his hand on his other gun (conveying him trying to go for it)*
{SFX-BOOM}

Panel D: *The man with the dreads falls to the ground his mouth gaped open as smoke is coming his forehead (The place where he got shot)
{SFX-Clud}

PAGE 4
:

Panel A: *The smart alack man would kick the black guys dead body*
{SFX- thuk}

Smart alack man: "Damn old man ever hear of a silencer...? "

Man with scar : "You talk too much."
{SFX: Click Clack}(sound of him cocking gun back}

Panel B: *A multi image blur (Like the drawing style used to draw the movements of characters with super speed.) of the smart alack guy beating the living shit out of the old scarred man forcing him to his knees and to drop the box.*
{SFX- whatever sound effects the artists thinks is best for the ass kicking}

Smart alack man: "How are you even still being hired you're like 50 something..?

Scarred Man: "You don't even know what your're stealing..."

Panel C: *The smart alack man snaps the scarred man's neck*
{SFX- CRACK, SNAP]
Smart Alack guy: And I don't care....

Panel D: *The smart alack guy would look up to see 2 cops holding regular 9mm pistols one of the cops is a average sized white male, and the other is a heavyset white male with no facial hair, the smart alack guy would be grinning as if something was funny*

Average sized cop: FREEZE!

Smart Alack guy: "Now I'm really not a good listener so..."

Panel E: *The heavyset cop would be shaking in his boots as he looks over at the dead bodies by the safe*

Smart Alack guy: "never seen a dead body before?"

Heavyset Cop: "Shut up, and stop moving or I will shoot you!"

PAGE 5


Panel A: *The smart alack guy would throw a test tube (leaving two in the box he's holding) to the cop*

Smart Alack guy: "Catch."

Panel B: The Average sized cop catches it like a dumb ass taking his eyes off the thief*

Average size cop: "What the..."

Panel C: *The smart alack guy jumps out of the big wall sized window holding the box with the test tubes in it while the heavyset cop shoots at him*
{SFX-KSSSSH]
{SFX- BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM}

Smart Alack: "Your aim sucks..."

Panel D: *The two cops stand at the broken window looking out as the smart alack man would be gone (as in they don't see him falling)

Average Cop: "Damn it...."

Heavy cop: " I wonder whats in the tube."

PAGE 6

Panel A: *An exterior shot of high school on a sunny day*
Cap box: Mile Way high
SFX: RRRRIIIIIIINNG (bell)

CAP BOX: The last minutes of school on a Friday the slowest minutes of every high schoolers life.

Panel B: *A close up shot of a teenage boy with brown hair, and green eyes(About 16 years of age) sitting at a school desk his face is relaxed on his fist conveying boredom*
CAP BOX: I hate Fridays, and love them at the same time

Panel C: *A very small panel of a up close shot of a clock with the hour hand on the 3, but off by just a few of millimeters, with the minute hand two minutes away from the 12 (2:59)*
CAP BOX: "two more minutes..."
SFX: RIIIIIIIING (bell)

Panel D *-whatever angle the artist thinks is best-the hallways are crowded with teens as the boy is seen walking out of school*

CAP BOX: I have two choices go home, watch, some t.v. do homework, rub one off, and go skateboarding, or go home do homework, go to work, and get yelled by a fat greasy smelling guy for not putting extra mayo on his burger....
{An exploding speech bubble} "JOHN! Slow down!"

Page 7
*The panels will be fitted on page however the artists thinks fit*

Panel A:*An over head shot of John, and a teenage girl (about 16 years of age) with brown hair, and brown eyes she is carrying a school book, rushing to catch up to him.

Girl: "Wow you can move, I've been looking for you."
CAP BOX: "Liza Hayes my partner on my Chemistry project. God really blessed me assigning me with her ,she's hot, and smart, the type of girl who your mom tells you to marry."

Panel B: *a close up shot of the Liza smiling, her eyes would glisten brown along with her hair. The angle must really convey how beautiful she looks to him.

Liza: "Did you really think you would get out of working on the project with me that easy?
CAP BOX: A third option was just added.

I... think you need to proofread it, honestly.

jaex
I... think you need to proofread it, honestly.

Agreed. I can tell what's going on, but it's not an easy read, which is a real deterrent (especially for the person drawing it, if you're collaborating with someone). Spend a week proofreading and editing it, and then have others do it for you. Also consult the back of the dictionary to learn proper punctuation use.

first 5 pages -
A - made me hate the main character
B - made me question the authors mental state
page 6+7 - were boring

I personally don't think a script should dictate the actions and sound effects so tightly. The artist needs room for personal interpretation and such. Furthermore, your scripting of the actions is extremely hard to follow, and grammar/spell check would be most beneficial. In that first page you identify the female scientist as "Karen" yet state afterward "the woman who said 'bye' to the other scientist..." If you just said "...three men are seen as Karen lays on the elevator floor dead..." it would have been much easier to understand. In fact, your script would be much easier to follow if the significant characters were given names...even if they get shot.