Tomboy, Lei Zetameiyer, is constantly evaluating her three year relationship with her live in boyfriend, Fons. When he reneges on his promise to take her to see her favorite band, she decides to go alone. On her way to the show, teary eyed, on public transportation, she runs into a tall dark and handsome bass player in which she later befriends. Her emotional rollercoaster takes us down into her lowest of pits, and highest of peaks. What will become of her relationship with Fons, and what does this relationship with the bass player have in store for her? Check it out! Check out, Tough Cookie!

Story contains profanity, suggestive themes, and adult situations. Recommended for older teens to adult.

Thanks!



Edit 6/30/09 12:00 PST ::Crits welcome::

Hurray! Time to abuse the rules for fun and profit! Seeing as you neither put "plug" or "crit" in your subject line that gives me the ability to "crit" even if it was not your intention for me to do so!

Art: Decent. Entry level anime fair. Practice and you'll be a manga superstar in no time.

Plot: Standard Mary Sueism "girl with a perfectly good life finds a guy with and finds true love" type thing. Key words : "Mary Sue".

Writing: Poor. While everything is conveyed well thematically this strip suffers from a sickness that is found in nearly every anime in existence. Bizarre, pointless information and description that brings together a cohesive theme. Japan is weird.

Sexism and reality: People generally do not behave in the manner that you portray your characters with. They do not seem real. Industrial or punk, or whatever science slaves is (my guess is some derivative of the gothic movement), shows generally do not end in a public groping. If that happened at a show around here there would be a lynch mob waiting for the perp at his car. This is a likely scenario in any city. Bad men know this and generally try to stay away from sexual assault, at least in public places.

Odd phrases: A lot of them. Whats up with that.



I like your art. It has a certain kitsch feel to it and your work into different angels is strides ahead of most of your competition. Overall I feel that your work is highly suited to your target audience and you will probably experience a fair amount of success. Go you!


Best wishes XOXO,
Charlie

I like your art style. Although I think the earlier form of shading you had in your comic gave it more personality, I wish you hadn't switched to the crisper shading style after page 17.

A romance story from the point of view of a tough girl is a nice switch from the delicate 'princesses' I usually see in romances. The comic has a good fast pace to it, but in some areas it's hard to follow the story. Make sure you're being clear on what is happening.

Lei is a little too perfect, she has two attractive men interested in her, a nice apartment, the ability to kick butt. Giving her a few faults will make her more believable to the reader. Also make sure Lei has a good reason to be annoyed with her current boyfriend and now interested in another man, otherwise she sounds like she's cheating on him for no other reason then lust, which makes it hard to sympathize with her situation.

Thanks for the constructive feedback Charlie and Istaerlus. I will continue to do my best to stear away from some romance and Manga cliches, and develop my characters to the fullest.

Two new pages are up! Critiques are strongly welcomed!