http://melodymaker.posterous.com/the-reason-some-girls-stay-single-very-funny

This guy is the classic douche, the 2nd part just gets better give it a listen or download.

Someone
The story is this: a girl was out with friends having drinks on King St (in Toronto ). This guy approaches her and won't leave her alone -saying how cute she is. She finally gives in and hands the guy her business card to get rid of him.
The attached is an MP3 file of not one, but TWO voicemails this guy left. This goes down in the history books - especially the second voice mail.
After hearing them you can clearly see why she didn't call him back - instead she called in to the Z103.5 morning show & had them play this on the air.
Ladies: He is out there... :)

This is is even worse when you know that a)
His real name is James Sears, and was a doctor in toronto before losing his license for two counts of sexual assault. (plead guilty)

And b)
He teaches a seminar for men to learn how to seduce women, not even kidding, check out the lulzy last bits:

I like how he can't seem to comprehend the idea that a woman wouldn't call him for reasons other than mental retardation or some kind of horrific accident.

Seeing (or in this case, hearing) people like him crash and burn so gloriously does nothing but make me laugh uncontrollably.

Funny that the seminar only teaches how to seduce the 'desperate slut'. Do the desperate ones even want him? He bleeds insecurity.

While listening to the second message, I had to walk around the room, banging my head against the wall on several occasions.

This was not an easy thing to listen to.

Skullbie
This is is even worse when you know that a)
His real name is James Sears, and was a doctor in toronto before losing his license for two counts of sexual assault. (plead guilty)

And b)
He teaches a seminar for men to learn how to seduce women, not even kidding, check out the lulzy last bits:

On that note, how did people find out all of this, since all they to go by was the name Dimitry?

The internet, there's nearly 1000 comments on that convo, someone is bound to know something based on:
The area he is near(toronto, king st), parts of his phone #, the fact that he teaches a bogus seminar for 'seduction' and nails the ads to streetlights, a website for seminar that has an IP address attached to it, a street address from the IP info that list 'James Sears', a criminal record for James Sears.

Here's a pic of him;

And more lulsy jokes and info;
http://www.afterellen.com/node/58854

Skullbie

You better fly to Toronto and go to his seminar Skull, he'll make you an honorary male! :)

And how do they tell a homosexual person from the way they dress? I think they could probably charge this dick with inciting hate crimes. ...if they have those laws in Canada.

--------------
Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't a "douche" some kind of system or the solution within that system primarily for flushing vaginas?
I doubt that cockmonkey gets near very many vaginas...

ozoneocean
Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't a "douche" some kind of system or the solution within that system primarily for flushing vaginas?

That and it's a slang here for jerks or assholes, or someone that acts in an embarrassing/cocky manner. As UD puts it better:
'An individual who has an over-inflated sense of self worth, compounded by a low level of intellegence, behaving ridiculously in front of colleagues with no sense of how moronic he appears. '

@Product
Lol x]

ozoneocean
And how do they tell a homosexual person from the way they dress?

I bet I could get in. The gayest piece of clothing I own is a shirt with slightly less irremovable stains than the other two.

Is that guy for real? Is that MP3 for real? Is that poster for real? Good god, it's too funny and idiotic to be true...gave me a good laugh on a crappy Monday morning. Thanks!

Ah, yes, I've heard this message before, but not the story behind it.

poster
Legitimate seduction lair

I just listened to the MP3.

Interesting. Sounds really, really desperate. I doubt he gets approached "6 or 7 times a day" or at all.
WTF was up with the second call? If she didn't call after the first one, why would ANYONE call after that? he basically threatened her. I'd be calling the police.

One thing that struck me on listening to the first call is that he's reading off a spiel... It sounds like a speech crafted to try and interest immature, inexperienced, shy, socially awkward young women. It sounds like he worked it out and possibly wrote the whole thing down, going through a few drafts beforehand, probably got some inspiration form a "how to date women" book and one of those creepy motivational speaker people.

ozoneocean
It sounds like a speech crafted to try and interest immature, inexperienced, shy, socially awkward young women. It sounds like he worked it out and possibly wrote the whole thing down, going through a few drafts beforehand, probably got some inspiration form a "how to date women" book and one of those creepy motivational speaker people.

And yet for some reason I still think he's a virgin. Maybe he needs a different approach.

ozoneocean
WTF was up with the second call? If she didn't call after the first one, why would ANYONE call after that? he basically threatened her. I'd be calling the police.

Yeah in the second call, he was basically giving her ultimatums and insulting her the whole time. That's a real catch there. Gee, I wonder why he's single. Yeesh.

lastcall
Yeah in the second call, he was basically giving her ultimatums and insulting her the whole time. That's a real catch there. Gee, I wonder why he's single. Yeesh.

Not to self:
Women do not like arrogant men who insult them.

BffSatan
Not to self:
Women do not like arrogant men who insult them.

But Horny Sluts might! Let's go looking for those and tell them how they were abused as children if they reject us. That'll turn 'em around. Crafty ;)

LOVE the website:
http://dimitrithelover.com NSFW

I can't copy and paste the front page intro because the dick uses Flash, but the Meta description is pretty bad:

This website features the powerful seduction programs of Canada's greatest lover and seducer, DIMITRI THE LOVER. SEDUCE WOMEN, DATING WOMEN, DATE WOMEN, PICKUP ARTIST, PUA, MYSTERY METHOD, PICK UP ARTIST, VH1, VENUSIAN ARTS, MEHOW, PICKUP 101, STYLE, NLP, EROTIC HYPNOSIS, DOUBLE YOUR DATING, DAVID D'ANGELO, SPEED SEDUCTION, ROSS JEFFRIES, REAL SOCIAL DYNAMICS, THE GAME, FAST SEDUCTION, SEDUCE WOMEN, DATING WOMEN, TORONTO LAIR, ART OF APPROACHING, JUGGLER METHOD, OCTOBER MAN, PLENTY OF FISH, LAVALIFE, TORONTO DATING, MERCEDES TORONTO, BMW TORONTO, CLIFF’S LIST

And the keywords are hillarious!

100 free dating,a pickup guide for guys,adult dating free,adult dating service,adult dating services,adult friend finder,alfa male,alpha male,alt seduction,approach women,approaching women,art of approaching,art of seduction,attract women,attracting women,attraction,bad boy,bad boy lifestyle,badboy, badboy lifestyle,bachelor dating guide,best pua,bisexual dating,black ops hypnosis,blog details,BMW Toronto,body language,Bristol lair,Bryan Redfield,by neil strauss,charisma sciences,cia mind control,cliff's list,club hers,couples seduce teens, couples seducing teens,covert hypnosis,date babes,date beautiful women,date cougars,date girls,date older women,date woman,date women,date younger women,dating,dating advice,dating free,dating etiquette,dating game,dating games,dating personals,dating questions,dating rules,dating services,dating software,dating tips,dating women,david d'angelo,david deangelo,david shade,david x,david x pua,david x seduction,double your dating,ericksonian hypnosis,erotic hypnosis,erotic mind control,fast seduction,female seduction,flirting tips, flirting tips for guys,flirting tips for women,free dating service,fuck cougars,fuck older women,game neil strauss,get girls,get women,god is a woman,GQ,gunwitch method,guy flirting tips,hot girls,how to approach women,how to date beautiful women,how to do hypnosis,how to exploit her,how to get women,how to pick up beautiful women,how to pick up women,how to seduce,hustler,hustler magazine,hypnosis,hypnosis mind control,hypnosis orgasm,hypnosis secrets,hypnosis seduction,hypnosis sex,hypnosis technique,hypnosis techniques,inner psycho,instant hypnosis,intergenerational dating,international dating,juggler method,lay method,learn nlp,learning hypnosis,marry girls,marry women,master nlp,matador,Maxim,meeting women,mehow,merb,Mercedes Toronto,mind control,mind control archive,mind control,derren brown,mind control with derren brown,mysteries lounge,mysteries method,mystery,mystery biography,mystery guide,mystery lounge,mystery method,mystery network,mystery pick up artist,mystery pickup artist,mystery pua,mystery seduction,mystery style,mystery television,mystery tv,mystery tv show,mystery vh1,mystery videos,mysterymethod,mystery’s lounge,mystery’s method show,mystery's VH1 Show,mystory method,mystrey method,neil strauss,neil strauss exposed,neil strauss style,neil strauss the game,neill strauss,nlp,nlp anchoring,nlp certification,nlp coaching,nlp course,nlp courses,nlp hypnosis,nlp life coaching,nlp master practitioner,nlp method,nlp persuasion,nlp practitioner training,nlp seduction,nlp seminars,nlp techniques,nlp training,October man,old woman,older women,penthouse magazine,perb,pick up,pick up 101,pick up artist,pick up artist controversy,pick up artists series on VH1,pick up chicks,pick up girls,pick up women,pickup,pickup 101,pickup artist,pickup artist controversy,pick up artists series on VH1,pickup chicks,pickup girls,pickup women,play boy,playboy,playboy magazine,plenty of fish,private magazine,pua,pua mystery,pua training,rapid hypnosis,real social dynamics,real world seduction,ross Jeffries,schedule vh1,secret,hypnosis,seduce girls,seduce me,seduce women,seducing women,seduction,seduction bible,seduction book,seduction methods,seduction secrets,seduction stories,seduction style,seduction techniques,seduction video,seductions,self esteem hypnosis,self hypnosis,sex seduction,sexual hypnosis,sexual seduction,silva mind control,single dating,speed seduction,stuff,stuff magazine,style,style pua,subliminal hypnosis,subliminal seduction,swinggcat,terb ca,the art of seduction,the game,The Game: Penetrating The Secret Society of Pickup Artists,the last seduction,the mystery method,the professional,the professional,thundercat seduction lair,thundercat's seduction lair, Toronto call girl,Toronto dating,Toronto hooker,Toronto hookers,toronto lair,Toronto prostitute,toronto sex club,toronto swingers,true dating,tryst,tryst magazine,tyler durden,Undercover sex signals,underground hypnosis,venusian arts,venusian arts handbook,VH1 Pick Up,VH1 Pick up chicks,VH1 Pickup artist,VH1 Shows,wicked club Toronto,women approach you,women meet,yates canipe, Youtube hot chicks,Youtube mystery,Youtube pick up artist,Youtube pickup artist,Youtube pua,Youtube sexy women,Youtube women,Zan"

ozoneocean
THE GAME

I lost the game...

I hate this guy 80% more now.

Good God!
This site is absolutely dreadful, it's got literally everything that can be done wrong about a website done on it.

Heh!

I love this the most:
Listen up women! This is what you must do in order to please your men!!!

Men always treat their dogs better than their women. Want to be your man’s best friend? Want to receive treats? Want to be caressed passionately? Want to be cuddled? Want your man to feel bad leaving you at home alone? Want to be taken out for daily romantic walks? Then give him dog-like submission!

Now, before you pee on the carpet, let me explain what I mean:

1.Never snap, bark, or wimper.

2.If he instructs you to wait, sit quietly and patiently while he completes his task. When he arrives back, show intense excitement with your smile and eyes. Display “tail wagging-like” behaviour by shaking your pelvis slightly.

3.When fed, clear everything off your plate and do not complain

4.When he does ANYTHING, even take out the garbage, thank him profusely by complimenting him and smothering him with kisses (in lieu of wet licks)

5.When he comes home, get really excited. Wrap your arms around him, tell him how much you love him, and jump up and down ever so slightly by going up and down on the balls of your feet.

6.Show submission when he is sitting and watching TV by lying on the couch with your head in his lap. Occasionally “hump his leg” by rubbing your cunt or tits up against him and letting out a little growl.

7.When he is eating food you have prepared, stare at him with admiration and submission. Ask him if he likes what you prepared. Tell him you love watching him eat and that him doing so makes you feel like a real woman.

8.Show intense excitement and “tail wagging” by jumping up and down with glee when he suggests taking you out. Ask him if the outfit (“leash”) you have just put on is acceptable to him.

9.When walking, hold him tightly, walk proudly, and show affection. If he pats other dogs or points them out, do not display jealousy by growling at him. Join in on the fun by sniffing their butts too!

Remember: men are way more likely to be devastated if their loyal, faithful dog runs away than if their woman does. When was the last time your man asked you “what’s wrong girl?”.



HAHAHAHAH! The best yet! Look at the rules for entering his last year's Slut contest. (supposedly a reality TV show)

CONTEST RULES:

1.Open only to females (defined as “those humans neither born with nor having ever possessed a cock at any point in their lives”), 18 years of age and older

2.All contestants must worship and submit to the power of a man’s cock

3.All contestants must be accepting of their natural female bisexuality

4.Slut finalists must provide satisfactory health report from their physician

5.Dimitri gets “unhindered tri-orifice access” during the entire slut competition

6.Contestants must accept Dimitri’s sacrament into every orifice

7.Contestants must accept Dimitri’s sacrament directly from each other’s vaginal chalice once they have been filled with it

8.Contest closes December 31, 2007

It gets worse, look at his extremely NSFW animations or check out his "church of Dimitri" page. I really can't tell if it's even serious but he seems to claim that he fathered Jesus.

I realise now that I'm nothing but a worthless loser and not a Real Man at all. I need Dimitri to show me the way. I will fly to Toronto ASAP and begin my tutelage with the cockmaster himself.

Wish me luck! ^^

ozoneocean
I realise now that I'm nothing but a worthless loser and not a Real Man at all. I need Dimitri to show me the way. I will fly to Toronto ASAP and begin my tutelage with the cockmaster himself.

Wish me luck! ^^

Bring me back a vial of his blood so I study it for science. It would be for the future benefit of mankind and 'slutkind' after Dimitri's death.

BffSatan
Bring me back a vial of his blood so I study it for science. It would be for the future benefit of mankind and 'slutkind' after Dimitri's death.

Seamen would be more appropriate in this instance...

This is the kind of guy who I would pull the stunt from that old smirnoff commercial where the guy says hi to the chick, and when the greaseball blind date for her walks in, the dude says that he's her to freak the greaseball out and make him take off.

lba
This is the kind of guy who I would pull the stunt from that old smirnoff commercial where the guy says hi to the chick, and when the greaseball blind date for her walks in, the dude says that he's her to freak the greaseball out and make him take off.

With that guy it might be dangerous... I suspect hidden depths beneath his forceful show...

I fear your tactic could result in the Real Dimitri bursting forth emitting ululations of joy and ending with anal rapage :(

ozoneocean

BffSatan
Bring me back a vial of his blood so I study it for science. It would be for the future benefit of mankind and 'slutkind' after Dimitri's death.

Seamen would be more appropriate in this instance...

I'm not touching that shit, even under lab conditions for scientific research.

ozoneocean

lba
This is the kind of guy who I would pull the stunt from that old smirnoff commercial where the guy says hi to the chick, and when the greaseball blind date for her walks in, the dude says that he's her to freak the greaseball out and make him take off.

With that guy it might be dangerous... I suspect hidden depths beneath his forceful show...

I fear your tactic could result in the Real Dimitri bursting forth emitting ululations of joy and ending with anal rapage :(

True. Which is why you ask the lady to be ready with the pepper spray. And maybe ask the barkeep to borrow their baseball bat.

BffSatan
I'm not touching that shit, even under lab conditions for scientific research.

You disrespect Dimitri's Holy Sacrament? :gem:

lba
And maybe ask the barkeep to borrow their baseball bat.

No maybes about it.

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