Add one sentience to make the story! No commenting twice in a row but fell free after some one else has! So lets begin!
Jim awoke in a ditch.
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Call Me Tom
at 1:30AM, June 21, 2011
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last edited on July 14, 2011 11:36AM
OnlyFoolsAndVikings
at 1:56AM, June 21, 2011
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He'd never liked sleeping in a bed like a normal person.
of all the things I've lost I miss my mind the most.
EXCUSE ME WHILE I STROKE MY MOUSTACHE IN A SUGGESTIVE MANNER!
EXCUSE ME WHILE I STROKE MY MOUSTACHE IN A SUGGESTIVE MANNER!
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:21PM
Ally Haert
at 7:59AM, June 21, 2011
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posts: 279
joined: 2-16-2011
After years on the run his body had learned to prefer the firm Earth, unable to enjoy the luxury of sleeping on a soft mattress; though truth be told, he could do without the mud in his hair.
"No one can go back to start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending," Maria Ross.
last edited on July 14, 2011 10:49AM
Zeph
at 4:44PM, June 22, 2011
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posts: 1,973
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It made it very difficult for him to wear hats, as his hair was caked, and stuck up in strange directions. Hardening almost to the point of being horns.
Comic The Mutha Flippin God of Airsoft
Rockin the WTF face.
CLEARLY AN OUTRAGE! CLEARLY!
wait what?
Rockin the WTF face.
CLEARLY AN OUTRAGE! CLEARLY!
wait what?
last edited on July 14, 2011 4:57PM
Salsa
at 5:25PM, June 22, 2011
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posts: 2,384
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It didn't help that the area was infested with dire hell badgers; who liked to sleep in ditches, but didn't like to share.
RAGE !
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:19PM
Zeph
at 5:54PM, June 22, 2011
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posts: 1,973
joined: 12-22-2006
These hell badgers were rather picky of their neighbors. And decided to eat poor whats his name for breakfast with some orange juice and a side of pork sausages.
Comic The Mutha Flippin God of Airsoft
Rockin the WTF face.
CLEARLY AN OUTRAGE! CLEARLY!
wait what?
Rockin the WTF face.
CLEARLY AN OUTRAGE! CLEARLY!
wait what?
last edited on July 14, 2011 4:57PM
OnlyFoolsAndVikings
at 12:03AM, June 23, 2011
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posts: 549
joined: 5-25-2010
Jim had never been particularly fond of What's-his-name, which was partly the reason why he could never remember what he was called...
of all the things I've lost I miss my mind the most.
EXCUSE ME WHILE I STROKE MY MOUSTACHE IN A SUGGESTIVE MANNER!
EXCUSE ME WHILE I STROKE MY MOUSTACHE IN A SUGGESTIVE MANNER!
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:21PM
BffSatan
at 12:27AM, June 23, 2011
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posts: 1,471
joined: 3-2-2008
Jim took whats-his-name's death as a sign that it was time to move out of the neighborhood to a place with less hell badgers.
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:21AM
Zeph
at 1:08AM, June 23, 2011
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posts: 1,973
joined: 12-22-2006
After a long journey of three blocks, seven inches, and a millimeter, Jim decided he had found a good place to make his home. An old abandoned outhouse about to fall down the side of a rather steep hill. CLEARLY prime real estate.
Comic The Mutha Flippin God of Airsoft
Rockin the WTF face.
CLEARLY AN OUTRAGE! CLEARLY!
wait what?
Rockin the WTF face.
CLEARLY AN OUTRAGE! CLEARLY!
wait what?
last edited on July 14, 2011 4:57PM
OnlyFoolsAndVikings
at 1:16AM, June 23, 2011
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posts: 549
joined: 5-25-2010
Of course, prime real estate to Jim just meant any area with a distinct lack of hell badgers and various other members of the weasel family that had it in for him.
of all the things I've lost I miss my mind the most.
EXCUSE ME WHILE I STROKE MY MOUSTACHE IN A SUGGESTIVE MANNER!
EXCUSE ME WHILE I STROKE MY MOUSTACHE IN A SUGGESTIVE MANNER!
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:21PM
BffSatan
at 1:41AM, June 23, 2011
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posts: 1,471
joined: 3-2-2008
Jim admired is abode from the inside, however, as he contemplated various aspects of interior design the supporting beams underneath the outhouse broke causing Jim and his new home to begin tumbling down the hill.
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:21AM
Zeph
at 2:12AM, June 23, 2011
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posts: 1,973
joined: 12-22-2006
Needless to say, it got everywhere. Even in his badger wounds.
Comic The Mutha Flippin God of Airsoft
Rockin the WTF face.
CLEARLY AN OUTRAGE! CLEARLY!
wait what?
Rockin the WTF face.
CLEARLY AN OUTRAGE! CLEARLY!
wait what?
last edited on July 14, 2011 4:57PM
OnlyFoolsAndVikings
at 2:16AM, June 23, 2011
(online)
posts: 549
joined: 5-25-2010
Jim rolled away down the hill, carried by the tide of wooden splinters, glass and tiles from his house, until he finally came to a stop at the bottom, where he sat up in amongest the rubble, and cursed his own bad luck.
of all the things I've lost I miss my mind the most.
EXCUSE ME WHILE I STROKE MY MOUSTACHE IN A SUGGESTIVE MANNER!
EXCUSE ME WHILE I STROKE MY MOUSTACHE IN A SUGGESTIVE MANNER!
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:21PM
Zeph
at 2:34AM, June 23, 2011
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posts: 1,973
joined: 12-22-2006
It hadn't always been this way, Jim was once a very successful lawn gnome. He stood by his post guarding the gardens from nymphs and fairies that would steal the children away at night. But now. He was in a outhouse, covered in poo.
Comic The Mutha Flippin God of Airsoft
Rockin the WTF face.
CLEARLY AN OUTRAGE! CLEARLY!
wait what?
Rockin the WTF face.
CLEARLY AN OUTRAGE! CLEARLY!
wait what?
last edited on July 14, 2011 4:57PM
OnlyFoolsAndVikings
at 4:14AM, June 23, 2011
(online)
posts: 549
joined: 5-25-2010
Being a garden gnome was mighty hard work, not many people wanted to employ a 6 foot 5 man dressed as a gnome and covered in human fæces to guard their gardens at night, but someone had to do it, and it might as well be him.
of all the things I've lost I miss my mind the most.
EXCUSE ME WHILE I STROKE MY MOUSTACHE IN A SUGGESTIVE MANNER!
EXCUSE ME WHILE I STROKE MY MOUSTACHE IN A SUGGESTIVE MANNER!
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:21PM
pokketmonstahhuntah
at 7:10AM, June 23, 2011
(online)
posts: 137
joined: 3-5-2011
Sometimes, Jim would stand by the pond for weeks, just holding that fishing rod in his hand, which makes me sad when I say nobody ever released a single fish in the waters, making Jim feel his existance to be rather... Pointless.
Man,
I would kill for some Okonomiyaki right now!
Deviant-art
I would kill for some Okonomiyaki right now!
Deviant-art
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:47PM
Zeph
at 1:12PM, June 23, 2011
(online)
posts: 1,973
joined: 12-22-2006
But then he'd look up to see his pointed hat, and realize just what he was living for.
Comic The Mutha Flippin God of Airsoft
Rockin the WTF face.
CLEARLY AN OUTRAGE! CLEARLY!
wait what?
Rockin the WTF face.
CLEARLY AN OUTRAGE! CLEARLY!
wait what?
last edited on July 14, 2011 4:57PM
OnlyFoolsAndVikings
at 2:46PM, June 23, 2011
(online)
posts: 549
joined: 5-25-2010
When he was chased out of the garden by a man weilding a garden hoe, however, Jim decided that Gnoming wasn't really his forte, and had fled the suburbs until he ended up in the ditch he woke up in this morning...
of all the things I've lost I miss my mind the most.
EXCUSE ME WHILE I STROKE MY MOUSTACHE IN A SUGGESTIVE MANNER!
EXCUSE ME WHILE I STROKE MY MOUSTACHE IN A SUGGESTIVE MANNER!
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:21PM
Zeph
at 3:05PM, June 23, 2011
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posts: 1,973
joined: 12-22-2006
It was believed that Jim was on the lamb. Probably why the man chased him, he didn't like creepy men riding the farm animals.
Comic The Mutha Flippin God of Airsoft
Rockin the WTF face.
CLEARLY AN OUTRAGE! CLEARLY!
wait what?
Rockin the WTF face.
CLEARLY AN OUTRAGE! CLEARLY!
wait what?
last edited on July 14, 2011 4:57PM
OnlyFoolsAndVikings
at 5:26PM, June 23, 2011
(online)
posts: 549
joined: 5-25-2010
The lamb Jim used as his trusty steed was also called Jim, which became very confusing after a time.
of all the things I've lost I miss my mind the most.
EXCUSE ME WHILE I STROKE MY MOUSTACHE IN A SUGGESTIVE MANNER!
EXCUSE ME WHILE I STROKE MY MOUSTACHE IN A SUGGESTIVE MANNER!
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:21PM
blindsk
at 8:06PM, June 23, 2011
(online)
posts: 560
joined: 5-5-2010
Jim the lamb also happened to be the god of lambs, so because Jim the man was careless with Jim the lamb he awoke from the ditch with a curse to forever be stuck with a shovel for a left arm due to his neglect of the creature.
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:25AM
Zeph
at 8:42PM, June 23, 2011
(online)
posts: 1,973
joined: 12-22-2006
This impaired Jim's ability to play normal sports like other 40 year old lawn gnomes that lived with their mother.
Comic The Mutha Flippin God of Airsoft
Rockin the WTF face.
CLEARLY AN OUTRAGE! CLEARLY!
wait what?
Rockin the WTF face.
CLEARLY AN OUTRAGE! CLEARLY!
wait what?
last edited on July 14, 2011 4:57PM
pokketmonstahhuntah
at 2:03AM, June 25, 2011
(online)
posts: 137
joined: 3-5-2011
Although he wasn't so fond if Gnome-basketball and Gnome-Cricket, his tears started flowing when he thought he would never be able to play Gnome-Waterpolo like he used to...
His gnomish friends would be really dissapointed in his lack of ability!
His gnomish friends would be really dissapointed in his lack of ability!
Man,
I would kill for some Okonomiyaki right now!
Deviant-art
I would kill for some Okonomiyaki right now!
Deviant-art
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:47PM
Zeph
at 8:33AM, June 25, 2011
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posts: 1,973
joined: 12-22-2006
He got kicked out of that for drowning too many horses. Apparently water polo is much different than land polo. With the whole lack of horses.
Comic The Mutha Flippin God of Airsoft
Rockin the WTF face.
CLEARLY AN OUTRAGE! CLEARLY!
wait what?
Rockin the WTF face.
CLEARLY AN OUTRAGE! CLEARLY!
wait what?
last edited on July 14, 2011 4:57PM
Salsa
at 10:04AM, June 25, 2011
(offline)
posts: 2,384
joined: 7-10-2008
Unfortunately, Jim had been wandering while reminiscing over his past life, and he soon found himself right where he started that morning, in a ditch full of cranky, Dire Hell Badgers.
RAGE !
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:19PM
Zeph
at 5:16PM, June 25, 2011
(online)
posts: 1,973
joined: 12-22-2006
Jim began to think there was some sort of being above controlling his life, and leading him to those horrible badgers, but after they devoured the thinking part of his brain, he soon forgot this.
Comic The Mutha Flippin God of Airsoft
Rockin the WTF face.
CLEARLY AN OUTRAGE! CLEARLY!
wait what?
Rockin the WTF face.
CLEARLY AN OUTRAGE! CLEARLY!
wait what?
last edited on July 14, 2011 4:57PM
BffSatan
at 2:58AM, June 27, 2011
(online)
posts: 1,471
joined: 3-2-2008
The badgers continued to rip Jim apart and devour him until Jim finally died and became a ghost.
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:21AM
Ally Haert
at 1:00PM, June 27, 2011
(online)
posts: 279
joined: 2-16-2011
Though the transition into the afterlife was jarring, Jim's first moments after death were at least serene.
"No one can go back to start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending," Maria Ross.
last edited on July 14, 2011 10:49AM
blindsk
at 8:05PM, June 27, 2011
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posts: 560
joined: 5-5-2010
Pretty soon the afterlife started allowing him to experience things he had always wanted to try, such as that acid trip he never got around to.
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:25AM
Zeph
at 7:06AM, June 28, 2011
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posts: 1,973
joined: 12-22-2006
But unfortunately for the wannabe druggy, being dead doesn't allow you be become high. Instead the acid merely melted off the arms of his corpse.
Comic The Mutha Flippin God of Airsoft
Rockin the WTF face.
CLEARLY AN OUTRAGE! CLEARLY!
wait what?
Rockin the WTF face.
CLEARLY AN OUTRAGE! CLEARLY!
wait what?
last edited on July 14, 2011 4:57PM
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