Despite that, I'm not buying any auto insurance from them. Well, I would if they were near where I'm at. When

Sorry if a lot of it seems drawn out and it probably doesn't follow the song exactly... oh, well. I only actually thought up the first part of the song at work. Try to enjoy! :)

Oh.. feel free to rewrite this thing to make it funnier. :)

(Somebody's Always Eating Me)

I'm just a normal guy.. living a normal life.
I live all by myself. Don't even have a wife.
Everything about me all seems so ordinary.
But I live right next to.. the local cemetary!

I always feel like.. somebody's eating me!
I feel gnawing on my feet!
I always feel like.. somebody's eating me!
I wanna run away and scream!

When I walk home late at night.. and I am all alone.
I hear some slow footsteps.. and then a gurgled moan.
I turn around in the dark to see if anyone is there
That's when I feel cold hands trying to grab at my hair!

Now when I walk around I always carry a baseball bat.
My friends all think that I'm some kind of 'fraidy cat.
Before I sleep I check the house and all around my bed
'cuz I feel like I'm in the land of the living dead!

I always feel like.. somebody's eating me!
My shoulder's being gripped by teeth!
I always feel like.. somebody's eating me!
I wanna run away and scream!

I can't run anymore.. 'cuz the neighbors ate my feet!
And now the mailman's eating me!
I feel like a piece of meat!
Now something's chomping on my ass!
It's zombied Ben Afflek!

I always feel like.. somebody's eating me!
Can't run away and flee!
I always feel like.. somebody's eating me!
Can't run away and scream...

I always feel like.. somebody's eating me!
Now I feel like a zombie!
I always feel like.. gotta eat somebody!
Gotta find someone to eat...

I gotta eat...

You know what was really funny? That GEICO commercial with the money. First, someone's like, "Hey guy, someone is looking at you in your face!" Then, the other guys like, "Relax guy, it's just the money you could be saving with GEICO." Then, they play that cool song; it's cool because it's all techno like a techno club.

I LOVE GEICO!!!

You know what was also funny? The GEICO cavemen. First, the guy's like, "Hey, buy GEICO because it's easy! Cavemen can do it, too!" Then, the caveman's like, "Hey, that commercial says I'm dumb. I'm not dumb! Cavemen have feelings, too!"

BRING BACK THE GEICO CAVEMEN SITCOM ON ABC!!!

If you want the Cavemen sitcom back on ABC, just post here, until we get enough posts to send to ABC as a petition.

You know the original song that that's from? Apparently I sang it in my sleep one time.

humorman
BRING BACK THE GEICO CAVEMEN SITCOM ON ABC!!!

Hell no, they replaced George Lopez, which was a total mistake.

humorman
If you want the Cavemen sitcom back on ABC, just post here, until we get enough posts to send to ABC as a petition.

Why waste your time petitioning for the revival of pointless shows when you can petition for great shows like Pushing Daisies!