In my opinion you should start considering the economic use of color. Youre only withholding an additional tool for setting the tone and character of your comic. Some muted colors would bring a lot more life to the pages too.

Got it, Chip. Twinkies and Trouble.

As for Last Place Comics...Mr Exzachly, you have a fine, funny comic. The only real thought I had reading through the last half dozen strips was that you may want to refine your character's faces a bit. You get a lot of expression out of them right now as it is, but perhaps they could be a bit more defined? Ther's a loose quality to your art which I like, so I wouldn't want to ruin that, but I find myself wishing your characters looked less like ghosts.

definitely SuperFogeys has great premise and great art...and some funny jokes...but I think over the course of the strip some of the jokes are over used. The whole Healer arc could have been cut short quite a bit. That would b my only crit of the comic. Keep up the great job!

While as a whole, I really like what you're doing artistically (I especially like your color usage), the very large text and thick inks can be a bit much sometimes. I would suggest playing around with varying ink thickness and text size, otherwise it comes on a bit too strong (reminds me about the old netiquette of ALL CAPS).

Due East has a very intimate & honest feel to it. The characters very real & fleshed out.

I would suggest varying your POVs a great deal more. The "camera" is always right up on the characters, making the book feel very claustrophobic, and undermining alot of the subtlety and emotional intent of the scenes. The unending crowded feel creates a great deal of (I believe) unintentional tension between the characters, within the scene, & for the reader. Pull back alot more often. Let the characters, scenes, & the readers breath.

Later,
Chip

Chip:

Out of your 3 comics... I believe Broken Things is currently my favorite. I do wish it would be updated more (though, I'm not one to speak on that subject). The one problem I had with the story is that the love interest didn't really seem like much of one when first introduced.

It feels like he just noticed her walking down the hall then the jock attacked him. I like the Biff aspect to your jock character though (from Back to the Future).

That's been my only problem... other then that you seem like a good writer, and I am hopeful that her and even our main character will be fleshed out later on. UPDATE!

Gavin, great comic! I've never seen one from the point of view of the criminals.. but you've made them feel to US like the good guys! I'm both confused and intrigued, I wish there was more! I feel like there's something missing that's keeping me from seeing a focal point... and I wouldn't necessarily say it's the lack of color, because in my opinion the black and white works well. I think it might be the panel layout, nothing really pops out at me. Maybe try making things burst from the panels, like a fist or a beam. All-and-all though, GREAT work, I'm definitely going to have to come back when you update again. :{D

some of the penciling could use a lot more variety of tone such as having dark next to light to make the object pop out more.

more contrasts like this: http://www.haberlin.com/images/penciling/jay_anacleto/image01.jpg

i would also say you should go for more dynamic perspectives, some of the bg tend to be flat i.e page 16's kitchen. instead of just the front view of the kitchen table/fridge/sink you should try the front and side view.

...I can't find anything wrong with dreams in synergy so... I'll do The Cure.

could use darker scanning. It's just way too light...

well for me anyway.

Edit:BAHAHA! I clogged the Compliment the Comic Belonging to the Person Above You!! sticky and the Say Something Critically Helpful About the Comic Belonging to the Person Above You sticky! no one can compliment it and no one can criticize it :D

Here are the very first ideas that came to my mind:

First, ink your work. Instead of drawing everything heavily with pencil, just lightly sketch everything, ink (even a black, extra-fine point Sharpie marker would do if you don't have anything else available), then erase the pencil lines. By sketching in advance you also get to redraw anything that needs more work before inking.

Second, get better paper next time -- what you are using right now is so thin I can see the previous artwork underneath it. For now, if you put a blank sheet between the new page and the old one it will improve your scans quite a bit.

I've been checking back in here periodically waiting to find a comic worth critiquing. This is it.

The One Panel Case Files-
http://www.drunkduck.com/Memesink/index.php?p=94856

It has a good sense of self identity coupled with geniunly funny material. It's an easy read too- keeps you thumbing through at a nice pace.

It needs refinement in the form and composition areas. That will come in time, but try a more open composition so your characters arn't overlapping as much, and I would personally draw every new character at least 50 times before your first introduce them. Visual distinction and subsiqient character recognition come only from repitition. We see character design honed to a fine point all the time, but if you practice to the point you can draw them with your eyes shut, your readers will experiance your transition period to a much smaller extent.

I didn't like the text bubbles but I'll let that one go.

I especially liked this one. Cool water effect->

My main problem with CO is one that is common in this medium of graphic storytelling, & that is the stiffness & posed, lifeless quality of the images. The art is just gorgeaous, but the inherent issues that plaque "computer comics", while certainly minimized in CO, still serve to alienate me from the whole narrative.

I know the options are seriously limited by both time & resources, but I wish that there was a way from CO to be more dramatic. It should be awe-inspiring, but it often comes across as a documentary of awe-inspiring events. It seems such a shame that such drewl-inducingly wonderous illustrative skills are applied to often fairly mundane images. Cinema works because of the skillful use of varying POVs. OC could benefit from that same application.

Later,
Chip

Well, cs3ink, I had a hard time finding anything wrong with any of your comics. They're pretty much perfectly done.

Well, since I noticed Dead was your newest comic, I'll just mention what I noticed.
The only real thing I didn't like about the comic is how the shades sometimes overlap (not the cross-shading, but what looks to be digital grey shading). You have an interesting way of signing your comic (C, S, III), but my eyes usually go down to that part, though (I'm not gonna tell you to get rid of it or anything, but it does kinda get in the way).

I think you could also make your text a little bigger, maybe for those who have trouble reading small print.

That's all I notice, otherwise pure perfection.

I really like the character designs in "2s a Company," but it's a little difficult in the latest page to see what the characters are actually doing. I know that multiple panels were used to show the passage of time, but you may want to try fitting both characters on a panel at the same time. This may require some creative thinking about how to layout your page, so as not to clutter the panels but also to make the story flow from one end of the page to the other.

For a dialogue-heavy comic like this, it definitely requires a lot of strategic balloon and character placement so the panels aren't cluttered and the action lost. I had to go back a few pages to see that the characters were playing chess.

The jokes are solid though, and the character design is top notch!

I love both TEMPLE and a$$hole! Contrasting styles with a great deal of intelligence and humor in both respectively.

Hard to find a criticism about something I enjoy! Especially the way you tell a story. The only criticism I have is on a$$hole...

My only criticism is use bigger font or don't crowd your dialogue bubbles. Take from me, I did a great deal of that early on.

Other than that, great pieces of work!

@ blntmaker...Better Luck Next Time...this is the first time I have looked at your comic...the pages look well done and the subject is definitely different. The only thing I would change may be the size of the pages...at the size they are now are overwhelming...and I think some of the pages would have more coherence and flow is able to see the whole page...I like the font choices as well and the narration...but for sixth graders they seem so mature. but that may be the schtick. Great job!

Midge: Your pages continue to get better and better with each update. The only critical thing I can say is that in your last panel, with the angle you used the rats don't look proportional to the girl tied from the rafters.

I think if you would have "zoomed out" (so to speak) on the rat part and made it seem like there were more rats it could have come across as scarier.

Keep up the good work though.. I love watching you grow as an artist.

TheMidge28
sith graders they seem so mature.

LOL @ SITH Graders - Whether that was a mistake or not...I'm working that into a script in the near future! Good times and thanks for the comment - Also, middle schoolers have a psychosis that is indeed...adult-like. You'd be amazed. I certainly was when I first taught middle school.

But about HUMAN CITY and SKETCHBOOK...

Artwork is stellar! Fonts choices are perfect for the mood of the comic! The black, grey and white hues are sweet for the story. Hard to criticize excellent work. Especially hand-drawn art!

For HC, watch your lettering crowding (Which doesn't happen often)...It's my only criticism. Any more critiquing of your comics will constitute player hating...I love your work!

The motion blur used to show someone "coming to" was a little disorienting, as I thought the characters in the first panel were running or moving really fast.

Some of the background panels are a little too blurred, while you have a clearer background image in 3rd to last panel (the palm trees). Most of your backgrounds are just bleed-colors. I think you could benefit from having some more detailed backgrounds, either from less blurred images or from drawing in some of the details yourself (like a park bench or something).

Temple updated today. More detail in the character designs, as the swordsman attacks Marielle. Check it out.

For Temple:

I'd have to say I would work on anatomy a little bit. I wouldn't say drastically because your art style is pretty cool.. but most of your characters don't seem to have any hips.

I wouldn't say you're unfamiliar with anatomy, because taking a closer look.. it seems like you know where everything goes, just that a lot of it looks misproportionate (is that even a word?)

If you could get some of the proportions right with your style I think your art could be a lot better.

EDIT: Sorry was writing on word and some extra stuff got copied and pasted.

Gavin:

I swear to God I look through like fifty strips a day yet I always manage to miss out on gems like Human City. Okay so I have a few crits for ya so here they go.

First off your style is great. Real grunge sin city style. I swear I could hear Kurt Cobain in the background as I read through it. With that said you early pages seemed to suffer a bit from anatomy issues. Example: Page 1 panel 3. James' arms are significantly disproportioned to his head. Unless you're trying to show that because he's the "techy" he's physically weaker than most of your other characters which I don't really see being the case so much. Also I love the perspective of the second panel but his hands do seem a bit awkward to me. Although that might just be my point of view.

I like your use of shading although at times (See last panel of page 2) it can be a bit too dark. I like your use of perspective. (Especially through page 4) But as someone said before it just doesn't POP at you. This however seemed to get at least slightly rectified in page 11 where you had the gun out of panel. So I think you're beginning to cover that aspect very well.

And on page five I noticed a typo immediately (Sorry I'm a grammar Nazi) Separated not "seperated". (See panel 4). Also for some reason (Looking closely at page six) I really like the gray scale gradient behind the text boxes. It works well with the whole tone of the comic in general. On page 7 the graffiti in the background was a great touch but panel 2 seems a bit alien to me? Maybe it's the eyes but something is definitely off. Your fight scenes are amazing (except the anti-POP factor) so I have no complaints there, and your text effects are well done. My last crits are that the first panel in page ten seems to be at an odd angle and the last panel looks copy and pasted.

(Sorry to go on and on but I tend to do that when a comic interests me as this one has.) Over all there's really not a lot wrong with it. Minor stuff here and there. Oh and one more thing. UPDATE MORE OFTEN! Jeeze.

ShinGen up up and away.

@blntmaker...yeah that was a typo...I am glad my mistake has inspired you! HA!!!

@ Shingen and Dreams of 1337ness...dude I love your humor and the quirkiness of the your comic! I always look forward to your next update! a few things which would help
...the characters sometimes seem flat...not all the time but sometimes...especially if the the background doesn't match perspective wise for the placement of the character. Love the use of real images for the posters but they seem out of place in some panels...having them drawn as well may let them sit in the scene better. small things as you can tell in my critique but I think they may help. =)

BloodHound: 180 Rule seems to get broken on this page, with the rat facing one way and then facing the other when shooting beams out of his eyes...it doesn't flow with the readers eye as well as it should.

Perhaps by placing the rat on the same side, the beam could be used to draw the eye to the bottom section of the page. This would turn your entire page into a design and a piece of artwork.

I love the detail on the hand, and the portal effect.

Temple and @$$hole went live today.

Well, I've never been here. For fear of running into someone with a 900 page comic LOL.

Temple of 1000 Tears

Art:
- How do you ink your pages? Anyways, it's not a nib pen. I think your style would benefit from nib and India ink. Anyone who draws needs to use it at least once to see if they like it and want to stick with it.

- You need more practice with life drawing. You still have a generalized unfamiliarity with how humans function; your characters tend to be stiff or misproportioned when they're doing anything that may be hard to draw. Do you draw bubble figures first before you lay in all the details?

Story:
- These guys the hero's with... sound like a bunch of heretics to me. In fact they could be villains. The high priest's decision to destroy the treasures sound perfectly reasonable. Of course it would be a compliment to your comic that your protagonists are morally ambiguous, BUT only if you intend for them to be as such. At present it doesn't seem that way. But you may surprise the readers.

- Some reactions in the latest scene seem a bit unrealistic. The old man can be seen as a caricature, even though what he's doing is almost diabolical in scope and ambition. The old man's troupe all look like they can handle themselves, yet they needed the hero to rescue them from 2 idiot bandits. And the hero went overly nutso but the troupe seems a bit too understanding. Perhaps the problem is that you compressed the pace of the introductory chapters, as you said yourself. It's hard to fix something like this... (1) You need to agree with my opinion. Then, (2) you simply need to soak up more lessons in Literature classes, read more novels, and see how good writers do characterization.

OK, whoever is next can either read my FIGHT 1 or FIGHT 2 . Or both, if you like them enough. They're 2 stories set in the same world.

Just tell me whatever your opinion is. You can't offend me. If I really need to clarify things with you, I'll PQ you.

@ Otamie below:
I think I'll answer that if you're still thinking about it after the current F2 chapter.

mlai
OK, whoever is next can either read my FIGHT 1 or FIGHT 2 . Or both, if you like them enough. They're 2 stories set in the same world.

Just tell me whatever your opinion is. You can't offend me. If I really need to clarify things with you, I'll PQ you.

there isn't anything i can critisize about your work, it lookst superb Fight 2 has better art then fight 1 but i like 1 more becouse it moves faster and has more chars i know ^^ only thing i would personaly like to see is some more splash pages, but thats just a personal thing XD im a little jelious that you have a team to work on the comic that must save you a ton of time ;D anyway keep up the great work!

PS: just one question tough is that Nuada guy actualy Bionic commando?

otamie! I like the cartoony feel of this comic! I wished you used more dark blacks when shading sometimes instead of the ligft straight lines! I believe those dark black lines would make your comic stand out more! Other than that i like what your doing! Also you should get to work and post more than just five pages...you hear me!
Just kidding! Nice work!

Polo is a dramatic and edgy comic, the lineart is done very well. Although I like the depth of the shading, it's be nice to see some textures to "roughen" it up. It feels a bit too smooth and gradient-heavy against the harsh black line. As best as I cna describe it, the character art is too separated when it should flow as one, give the character some solidity. But a powerful start! Props to you, man.

zorphbert and fred is a great looking strip. I really can't say anything too bad about it. Funny, art style is consistent and fits the tone and has great coloring.

Its amazing that the "Compliment my comic" thread is 3 times as long as the "criticize my comic" thread. I guess it just goes to show what webcomicists are more interested in, empty prattling praise.

I'll criticize Zorphbert and Fred, being as gavin just complimented it. I can't fault the art in the slightest, but the writing definately needs some work. The characters can be summarized pretty well as the smart one and the stupid one, and while it's a good duo, it's been around forever and you need more to distinguish their individual personalities. Additionally the premise is somewhat dead in the air, it's not that the premise is bad, it's that you're not really developing it, theres no real progression. They go over here and do this, then they go over there and do that, and while it makes for alot of funny, the formula doesn't really change from episode to episode, they don't to seem to really learn anything from their adventures, it doesn't feel like it's going anywhere. Look at something like 3rd Rock from the Sun. It started as aliens trying to study humans and human society, and there were alot of great gags with them trying to figure out how things worked, but over time they needed to develop relationships and conflicts in order for the show to have staying power, and I'm not really seeing any progression like that in Zorphbert and Fred.

I think one of the things that Zorphbert and Fred would really benift from is approaching the story with a wider scope so develope it in a certain direction.

Gavin didn't really criticize the comic above him, but I'll give you a freebie

The art has some issues but it's nothing practice wont fix. You're drawing some really dynamic panels so I suspect you will notice how quickly your art improves. I gotta mention the blood, because it looks like silly putty. Also your super-telepathy-cops peoples could look a little less like pornstars. It's hard to give any critique on the storyline, because it's still pretty young, just be careful to distinguish character voice, in a story like this if all the characters talk the same, if they talk like you talk, it'll be noticable. Just usage of cures words is a good place to start. You gotta figure out how often each character uses curse words and in what context and type of situation. Because of their very nature everyone uses swears a little differently. For example, I'm pretty hesitant to drop a C-Bomb, but I will if the situation calls for it, while my friend Ryan will never drop a C-bomb, not even in a joke. Figuring out where characters have certain hang ups on language is a good first step to developing individual character voices. The same text should not make sense coming out of the mouth of two different characters.

@ kingofsnake...I read a bit of Children At Play... very unique in its story telling and style...the only thing though, the actual drawings which you cut out need to be refined. They seem sketched and rushed. Now we can just say that's the style of the comic but I would encourage you to refine the art. The figures seem one dimensional and not much life to them but more time spent would real impact the look of the comic. also the speech bubbles seem very sporadic and distracting. I think the comic has so much potential.