Some of the words are difficult to read in sections, The frames seem to constrict the art. Overall it's a pretty interesting style and story.

www.drunkduck.com/Brain_dump is mine

Nice clean lines and letters compliment the latest Brain Dump. For improvement, I would recommend spacing out your text from balloons a bit more so the letters aren't hugging the sides of the balloons as much.

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Temple: A final heartfelt conversation between sisters

Aww, that sucks. D: Not the comic, mind you, the situation, haha.

(I'm just going to critique on the recent pages):
How is it that you colour? Because in some instances, it looks like you just used the wand tool and filled in the empty spaces. I'd try smoothing out the colours by using layers. Yes, it would take more time, but it really helps out in the end.

I really like the splashes of red in a grey-scale comic. Although, using a detailed brush for the blood doesn't fit. Again, it would look much better and fit together more if you just drew it out. Since the blood spatters have more of a realistic look to them while your comic art is more stylized.

That's about all I have to say for now. ;)
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Here's my comic, TEAR IT APART!
http://www.drunkduck.com/Doug_N_Exile/index.php

Doug N Exile: Tear it apart? I'm not sure I can! It's brilliant! But maybe one thing I would say is that to me the hospital seems a tiny bit flat, but it could just be me lol


My comics are in my signature, I don't mind which one you choose, and just say your honest oppinion lol

Hunchdebunch
My comics are in my signature, I don't mind which one you choose, and just say your honest oppinion lol

Well the Door and Last of the wilds could do with shading, and a lot of work on your figures and lineart. Pretty much everything about them could be improved. you need to look into ways of improving your scanned image too, currently your line quality is so poor it looks like you've resized the scaned image before colouring. Also stop using the gradient tool for backgrounds, it always looks terrible.

As for Dark light, you seem to be uploadinding photos of the pages and that's no good. Also your shading is scribles. Try out some crosshatching, it'll make your lineart a lot less messy and your shades more uniform.

You need to learn some anatomy and perspective, pretty much you need to study the absoloute basics.

Above all keep practicing. In six months you'll look back on your current output and cringe.

Well, I haven't much to say about it, seeing that there aren't too many pages. One thing I could say is try to keep your art consistent. The lines and colouring all are clean and crisp in the first few pages, but in the last few, they look scribbly.

Another thing would be the snippets of anatomy. I can understand when someone has an art style, but that isn't an excuse for lack of the basics. All around, your art is fine (I really do like the syle, BTW) but the characters' heads are rather small, especially Joel's.

That's basically it, the comic is interesting (but incredibly confusing so far, hopefully it will all clear up as it goes further) and the art is good, too. Keep at it, yo. ;P

@Doug in exile

The coloring and figures in this comic are exceptional, i really like how you did the posters on the bulletin board too. The speech bubbles are the only thing holding it back, they're very inconsistent on the page and don't leave much margin room for the text to breathe. Look into a possible template for them or some tuts from balloon tales on how to make them not look so football-y

It's a little trick to figure out where that last balloon is coming from in the latest page of Pheromone. Especially if it's coming from the character that is taking up the entire left side of the page. Just a suggestion, but maybe move the balloon tail to point at that character. The placement of the balloon in the bottom right side will still make it the last thing anyone reads.

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Sophia and Xen plan their next move

@$$Hole! has been nominated for best photocomic for the second year in a row! Can we bring home the award? Today's comic is about Kitty Treats .

trevoramueller,

Your comics' texts are either too small, or they need just a bit more space between the letters. Either way, I was finding my eyeballs squinting and slightly aching reading the dialogue.

I've always been a big fan of drawing the bubbles, myself, because I think having incredibly round bubbles in a comic where the art is not incredibly round, or computer-perfect-square, makes the bubbles stand out too much from the art, harming the delicate illusion that your hearing their voices, rather then reading them in perfectly shaped boxes and bubbles. But, then again, it could certainly just be my personal preference. I'm sure such a thing would override the logic of the matter, if I am being affected by it.

If, at any point, you DO try and draw your own bubbles, even if its just for a test comic to see if there's anything behind the theory, I suggest you try and mimic the examples of some of the comics you enjoy where the bubbles are drawn, if any, because they can be tricky to draw sometimes and I'd hate for you to draw a couple of bubbles badly, and decide the theory is poop. Such things have happened to me before, I'm very sure.

Such the thing can be said about text as well, of course, as I've tried to write my own text, but I find it incredibly hard to do (at least from the skill level I'm at with using my tablet, and only my tablet) so you also have to consider how fast you want to be able to make a comic VS how you want it to look. It's complex...

COMICS ARE COMPLEX. I LOVE THEM SO.

@fay goop

Very impressive layout skills, the full shot of the room is also really awesome. The image i viewed was nearly half a megabyte which is a little extreme for any greyscale image. Try saving on .png with 32 colors, this should pick up everything in the image and keep the sharpness of the lineart, while the filesize will be more than halved.

The only thing i could suggest artwise is your characters are a bit inconstant in style on the page, not talking chibi here but just how the panel-to-panel jumps are like seeing a new style in a way. It'll probably iron out with progress though, keep it upppp

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Pheromonia's got....wah-wuh- wu-one---oneeee

page.

Pheromonia: Your really good at anatomy and your layouts and use of colour are very good. The only thing I can think to say is that the shoes in the bottom panel look a bit squashed somehow.

Last of the Wilds: I like the latest page, but since I have to give some form of critique, I'd say make your balloons a little smaller so they take up less real estate on the page. It'll cover up characters or background elements where you could put other content.

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@$$hole!: The waiter arrives

I liek your art and the story seems interesting, but I think at times (not all the time) it moves a little too quickly.

I took a look at both The Door and Dark Light and have the same thing to say about them--you need to stop using anime as a crutch. Because it's a simpler style, a lot of artists use it to hide that they don't know much about drawing anatomy, but it shows through. I think it'd do your art a lot of good to spend some time drawing realistic people to learn their structure and then go back to the cartoony style of your comics. Though you have some good things going on, like subtle line variance and the interesting take on shading in Dark Light, it would definately boost your art to study anatomy. It would add consistancy and strength to your figures.

Right now, I think that's the biggest thing you need to work on. Learn to draw a skeleton figure, so that you get the lengths of the arms and legs right, and the lines for a face so that you place the eyes and mouth properly every time. THEN convert this to the anime style, instead of relying on the simplicity of the cartoony style to hide the misshapen figures.

I think the best thing about your comic is the facial expressions. You have some great subtle and expressive faces. I like the second panel of page 35 of The Door, myself. Nice use of little lines in the face to get an expression.

I suggest you keep practicing and really study figure drawing, it'll really boost your comicking.



I have two comics in my signature. Crit preferred for The Millennium House. :)

The Millennium House: Your artwork is beautiful, and you're anatomy is very accurate. The backgrounds are also very nicely done. One thing I would say is, although I like the soft colours, at times they seem a little too soft and it can be a tiny bit difficult to make out what's going on or what something is.

The Door - By Hunnchdebunch

I've read the 40 or so pages and I've got to say I thought you should have more readers. Though one problem I've noticed is that you use random backgrounds sometimes, this is somewhat distracting and makes the scene look aloof. Maybe practice drawing dark settings as well as workplaces to give more feel to characters words an actions. The lines for the panels need some serious work too, but its no biggie.

here's a tip: don't just use the fill tool to fill shapes, you get a white outline that ruins your comic. Use a brush in a lower layer, it will take forever but its worth it trust me.

Hmmm, gonna have to flip back on this comic, since I'm not sure what's going on in the latest page. It looks like a video game comic, but just not sure.

The artwork has some nice colors, but the characters look a little stiff. I think the comedy could work better if you over-exaggerated the actions of the characters. For example, when he's stabbing the spider, instead of just standing there he should lunge into a parry, like from an old Errol Flynn movie.

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Temple: Sophia: All time bad ass

@temple


You might also get a more impact if you do something more for the panels, like make them a thicker white, do it 'scratchy' or even a double border.
Nice use of red, would probably look cooler if it was in use on the other characters(like their shoulder pads and eye gaurd, etc)

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pheromonia-v

You did a good job on the set up and colouring.

The anatomy looks like it needs a little work, though. Their arms look really long. Especially the bicep area. I tend to see this in anime/manga inspired comics that people make the bicep area really, really long for some reason. The shoulder to the elbow is about the same length as the elbow to the wrist.
So I'd just try shortening them a bit.

Swimsuit's head is too far turned with the angle she's at. Her head should either turn more to the right or her body more to the left. And try adding some detail lines in the neck so it looks more like she's turning her head instead of it looking like it was placed there at that angle. Her fingers in the first panel seem like they're too short, unless it's perspective and they just look shorter then I'll just shush.

And her bottom needs to be moved up a bit more 'cause she has a fairly long torso already. And maybe shrink the lower area because it looks like it belongs to someone else.

T-Shirt's hand that is resting on her chin looks like it's just floating there (or scratching her chin?) instead of holding weight. I would say move her hand up so it looks more realistic, but then her arm would be even longer. The thing that would help is to make her slouch some more so her head can rest easier on her hand.

A really helpful tactic to spot any anatomical glitches is to flip the whole page horizontally. In its original setting, your eyes get accustomed to how it looks, but if you flip it, then you can notice everything since you're seeing it in a different way.

That's about all I can think of now, since there is only the one page. I hope it helps. It is a very good starting page, by the way! :)

~~~
As for my comic, just click that link in my siggy.

Seems to me like a very good comic with no flaws. Overall what catches the eye first is the very nice clean use of colour, nice efective drawings, and a good clasical page layout. The facial and body expresions are indeed very good. Story seems interesting enough, but I'd have to read the complete story before I can say much about it.

In my opinion this comic is of publishable quality. The only thing I can see slightly negative is that it somehow lacks a bit of personal style. This is not necesarily a bad thing, as many great comics would fall into the same category. This is something that only the great achieve.

"Doug N Exile" is certainly a very recomendable comic, and I personaly can't wait to find out what happens next.



My comic only has 3 pages, and I'm still experimenting a bit. link below

http://www.drunkduck.com/Lets_Go/index.php?p=601715

Well, the lines are a bit shaky, but personally I think it adds charm and character to the art. A couple of things that strike me, though:

-The backgrounds in the first two pages are pretty barren, so there's no sense of environment. The second page especially, it's pretty well just crosshatching put through a blur filter.

-The art in the third page is dramatically different from the first two pages. I do like the traced style, and since you are experimenting with your art and that's what the comic is about, it works. If it were any other kind of comic, though, the sudden art shift would just be like ABAWHUH?

Space Pirate Sixteen has some good visual storytelling going on here. I would recommend coming up with some better panel sequencing when listing out the villains list of evil activities. It has a good flow until then, and then it loses it's effectiveness....

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Temple: Sophia continues her assault on the Order Temple . Can she make it to her target?

The Tempe Of A Thousand Tears: Really nice page! The only thing I would say is that for some reason I feel like it would flow better if the people in the first panel were facing to the right.

Last of the Wilds looks like a fun comic and the page layouts are nice. You need to work on your background art just keep practicing that's all. You'll be a great cartoonist with practice.

I like the simpson-ish feel of Wakon Yosai but even though it is a cartoonish comic, you should work on your human figures. Understanding anatomy will help you deliver the story.

My NEW COMIC: Lotus Root Children has started!

Lotus Root Children: You know, I actually don't have a lot of bad things to say about this, but I can say that I do like the fact that for the most part, you can pull the story out even without much dialog happening in it.

On that note, I would push the expressions and body language further, make the moments and focal points more dynamic or expressive. You are certainly heading that way, but that is my only critique.

@ Pagan Zoetrope - I had to examine it hard to look for something to constructively critique, but I did find one thing. I would suggest just a tad more detail in the backgrounds of this page. I know there's some gray gradient going on, but I would suggest a few more linework details.

I'd like to ask for critique on Mighty Dreadful Multi-Colored Shapeshifting Warriors , please. And don't say it needs color! I addressed that on page 2 .

Mighty Dreadful: I like the look of this comic, it has some good anatomy, and an interesting style. The only thing I can think to say is that I feel that the panel layouts could be a little more dynamic.

Please comment either on Last Of The Wilds or Quest For Zanvadas, thanks :)

I would say for the Last of the Wilds to improve upon would be posing. There's a little variety here, but mostly your characters are hugging themselves too closely. If you look at dramatic posing from most modern comics, they characters extend their arms like they're reaching for something just out of reach.

Even when wielding a weapon, artists like Kirby, Kubert, and Eisner have the arms extended or reaching.

May help increase the dramatic tension of your pages.

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@$$hole!: The sad truth is that the first panel of this isn't entirely fiction....

In Temple of a Thousand Tears... well I have to say that your artwork has improved immensely since the last time I really took at look!

The page is very well done though I think the arms and legs are too 'small' and not quite 'proportionate' so spending some more time getting the structure solid in the initial posing phase before adding detail would help a tonne!