Penguins are trying to take over the world.

I mean, think about it. They make movies like "Surf's Up", "Farce of the Penguins", "March of the Penguins", and "Happy Feet." They're trying to brainwash us!

Every time I see a supposedly "cuddly" penguin, I run. They scare me indefinitely.
Never trust a penguin. NEVER.

Personally, my theory on penguins is that they're delicious. Think about it: chicken is delicious. Why is that? Because they can't fly so well. Same for turkeys. Birds use all their delicious juices through the effort of flight. Have you ever had ostrich jerky? That is capital D - Licious. And I've never had a kiwi [en.wikipedia.org], but I have eaten a kiwi [en.wikipedia.org], and those are delicious.

If you ever find a bird that either can't fly or at least doesn't fly very well, eat that bird!

Mmm... roasted penguin...

Yeah, I have to agree. I mean, with a name like "emperor", how could they not have aspirations of world domination.

...Heh... I totally smell a Youtube video titled "Imperial March of the Penguins" coming out of the works some day... or at least as a "Before and After" puzzle for Wheel of Fortune...

My theory on penguins is that they are birds.

Custard Trout
My theory on penguins is that they are birds.

Using the Scientific Method:


Theory: A penguin is a bird.
Process: look at a penguin
Analysis: there's a beak, and wings and feathers.
Conclusion: It's a bird!

Penguins are crooks.

Ask Batman:

I dunno, I've been a penguin fan of penguins for years, way before they were turned into a franchise, so I find it a little annoying how everyone is suddenly in love with penguins... ><;;

Actually Ink, according to some reading I did a few years back, penguins are quoted to taste like 'runny fish', not chicken. Considering their diet, I suppose that's not amazing.

I have a love of obscure biological trivia.

Yeah, logically penguins are going to taste like catfood. ;)
MMmm, what a treat... FOR A PUSSIE! Cat, that is :)

Plus, Chicken is meh. Bland. We like it because it's easy to add tastes too. Turkey is gamey... Duck is even more gamey.

Speaking of chickens, I captured an injured raven earlier this year and took care of it in a cage over night. Close up the thing smelt EXACTLY like a chicken.

But...

WHY were you smelling an injured raven close up?

...cause I had to feed it and give it water.. :P

Penguins are the footballs of the animal kingdom.

The reason why we eat so many flightless birds is not that they taste better, it's that it's easier to catch them. That being said, I heard ostrich is pretty good. I would eat a penguin. And I disagree with OO's statements. Chicken is delicious and turkey is even better.

Man I love turkey. I wish I was eating one right now.

Chicken is dulllll...

And Emu, next biggest bird after Ostrich is horrible. And it doesn't even HAVE visible wings, unlike ostriches.

I've seen chickens fly... They're light enough and their muscles are definitely powerful enough. Wings are pretty crap, but they can get away. ;)



Now the Cassowary... They can't fly, but They'll kill you. Evil birds. Very evil...

DOWN WITH THE CHICKEN HATER!!!

As far as the penguin thing goes, i have had the same theory before. The penguins are clearly trying to take over our minds and hearts become the new monkeys.
But luckly for me,i have always hated penguins- cause theyre boring as hell- and thus am immune to their spell.

Also i would like to eat a penguin one day because of the previously stated fact that flightless birds tend to be delicious.

Dr3wdub
because of the previously stated fact that flightless birds tend to be delicious.

One: that's not a fact. You only like the flesh of TWO flightless birds.

And Two: Chickens CAN fly. ;)

You FAIL.

HAHAHAHAHAhahahahaha! :P

Dr3wdub
flightless birds tend to be delicious.

Hmmm.....

The penguins may be trying to take over the world, but they will fail (just like the poodle).

Why: Global Warming baby! Fortunately we humans have had to foresight to see the penguins devious plan and set about battling the cuddly menace. Once the icecaps are gone we shall celebrate with pool part and BBQ :D

Inkmonkey
Personally, my theory on penguins is that they're delicious. Think about it: chicken is delicious. Why is that? Because they can't fly so well. Same for turkeys. Birds use all their delicious juices through the effort of flight. Have you ever had ostrich jerky? That is capital D - Licious. And I've never had a kiwi [en.wikipedia.org], but I have eaten a kiwi [en.wikipedia.org], and those are delicious.

If you ever find a bird that either can't fly or at least doesn't fly very well, eat that bird!

I'm thinking anartic safari. Whos in?

I used draw often in graphic composition book where I keep all my doodles from school.
...AND I FOUND THIS

That Penguin tank is brilliant! Especially funny since Phantom Penguin who commented above you is a tank driver. lol!

piraterpg
The penguins may be trying to take over the world, but they will fail (just like the poodle).

Why: Global Warming baby! Fortunately we humans have had to foresight to see the penguins devious plan and set about battling the cuddly menace. Once the icecaps are gone we shall celebrate with pool part and BBQ :D

If that's our strategy, we've already failed :(

Tropical Penguins

The bastards have adapted...

Right Plan B: Were going nuclear :P

Inkmonkey
Personally, my theory on penguins is that they're delicious. Think about it: chicken is delicious. Why is that? Because they can't fly so well. Same for turkeys. Birds use all their delicious juices through the effort of flight. Have you ever had ostrich jerky? That is capital D - Licious. And I've never had a kiwi [en.wikipedia.org], but I have eaten a kiwi [en.wikipedia.org], and those are delicious.

If you ever find a bird that either can't fly or at least doesn't fly very well, eat that bird!

Yeah I mean dodos were hunted into extinction cuz they taste so good.

Warpedwenger
Yeah I mean dodos were hunted into extinction cuz they taste so good.

Change that to: easy to catch ;)

... Look can you prove that they werent tasty? Were trying to solve a mystery here!

Warpedwenger
... Look can you prove that they werent tasty? Were trying to solve a mystery here!

Well, there's this:

Frederick A. Cook, surgeon on the Belgica expedition ... :'It is rather difficult to describe its taste and appearance; we have absolutely no meat with which to compare it. The penguin, as an animal, seems to be made up o fan equal proportion of a mammal, fish, and fowl. If it is possible to imagine a piece of beef, an odriferous codfish, and a canvas-back duck, roasted in a pot, with blood and cod-liver oil for sauce, the illustration will be complete.'

I researched it :)

They have thick layers of blubbery fat that you have to remove ALL TRACE of because it makes them "disgustingly fishy".

Also, unlike "flightless" land birds, penguins are extremely active and well exercised because they use their entire bodies in daily survival activities: Swimming, walking, jumping. That means their flesh is thick, hard, dense, very dark, oily, and gamey; as far from chicken as you can possibly get in that regard.

So, to someone who likes bland, light, chalky chicken meat, penguin will be utterly inedible. To someone that likes interesting, complex tastes and tough stuff like beef jerky etc, maybe penguin is right up their alley for a taste sensation! ^__^

------------------------------
Now, on to monkeys?

...Wow... Your really serious about penguins... YOU MUST BE ONE OF THEM!

What off it?

I look groovy in my smart suit, with the tails, white bow-tie, top hat, spats and monocle. ;)

ozoneocean

Warpedwenger
... Look can you prove that they werent tasty? Were trying to solve a mystery here!

Well, there's this:

Frederick A. Cook, surgeon on the Belgica expedition ... :'It is rather difficult to describe its taste and appearance; we have absolutely no meat with which to compare it. The penguin, as an animal, seems to be made up o fan equal proportion of a mammal, fish, and fowl. If it is possible to imagine a piece of beef, an odriferous codfish, and a canvas-back duck, roasted in a pot, with blood and cod-liver oil for sauce, the illustration will be complete.'

I researched it :)

They have thick layers of blubbery fat that you have to remove ALL TRACE of because it makes them "disgustingly fishy".

Also, unlike "flightless" land birds, penguins are extremely active and well exercised because they use their entire bodies in daily survival activities: Swimming, walking, jumping. That means their flesh is thick, hard, dense, very dark, oily, and gamey; as far from chicken as you can possibly get in that regard.

So, to someone who likes bland, light, chalky chicken meat, penguin will be utterly inedible. To someone that likes interesting, complex tastes and tough stuff like beef jerky etc, maybe penguin is right up their alley for a taste sensation! ^__^

------------------------------
Now, on to monkeys?

But if we don't eat the penguins, they will eat us!

And don't even get me started on the diets of monkeys!

I believe those who assume penguins are power-hungry/fish-hungry/human-flesh-hungry tyrants are correct! Their numbers are grand and their armies are powerful; they surreptitiously conspire to take over the human roll on earth... or perhaps just save it. While we have our eyes on each other and dolphins, what we should really be focusing on is penguins and illiterates. Once their powers unite we will be no match for their unstoppable might!