Edit: epically failed lol

you could prolly get it done even faster if you didn't spend the time to make a banner ad for it and thumbnails of each page and post about it in the forums !!


how many pages is it anyway ??

too much white space in panel 1 of page 2 + monster being too centered in the panel = lack of impact youre looking for. I really dig the way you handled the fur however.

I agree with NickGuy. closeups are a great way to get creepiness. Indirect angles like you did with the eyes are great too. Suspense is something you build by not showing the evil/bad/scary thing.

I think you're right that color is gonna be a big factor in gettin' the mood you're looking for. But that's really nice work! And I lurve that wolf!

I know you're tryin' to make this one short, but I think the creepy/ suspenseful factor would be heightened if you added an extra page before two, showing her walking out the back door, panning across the deserted alley, etc. It would show that she's completely alone, and kinda build up the "quiet" before the "OMG I'M-A GONNA GET ATE!" part. :)

But... I hope she's not... a lonely werewolf girl.

lothar
you could prolly get it done even faster if you didn't spend the time to make a banner ad for it and thumbnails of each page and post about it in the forums !!

that took me fiev minites !!1

lba
closeups are a great way to get creepiness. Suspense is something you build by not showing the evil/bad/scary thing.

Hey that's a great idea! :) I'll make the first panels smaller an show bits/close-ups of the werewolf then.

Hyena H_ll
I know you're tryin' to make this one short, but I think the creepy/ suspenseful factor would be heightened if you added an extra page before two, showing her walking out the back door, panning across the deserted alley, etc. It would show that she's completely alone, and kinda build up the "quiet" before the "OMG I'M-A GONNA GET ATE!" part. :)

But... I hope she's not... a lonely werewolf girl.

Hmmm that's a good idea, actually gives me a better idea for the person she meets in page 3 too. Thanks :)

*shudders* i'd burn that book if i didn't actually download it. =_=

Redid page 2, i think the layout is much nicer.
I'm really behind on page 3 now tho ._.

your pages look sweet and love the werewolf and the reflection in her eye but in the second page how she's running seems kind of... Scooby Doo. Like when the ghosts were chasing Shaggy. It doesn't seem right unless you are going for a corny feel, then it works. Maybe more her looking over shoulder or perhap have the pov from behind instead in front. There's more menace and intensity with changing camera angle to behind showing her looking back and afraid as this beast is about to seize its prey.

RE: What TheMidge said:
I think a lot of that's the hair. In the first page, it really helps show that she's turning around suddenly. The way it is in the running pose, though- it doesn't really contribute to the sense of action/ urgency. I would probably draw her hair trailing behind her or flying away from her face more, instead of laying on her shoulders like it is. It may be a bit exaggerated that way, but I think it would make the figure way more dynamic.

Arm on the right is giving it a bit of that scooby thing midge mentioned. I dunno why they always drew the gang running that way, but that's what gets me on it. I agree on the hair flying.

I forgot to mention low angles. Right now her leg is at kind of an odd angle like she's making a curved leap off the page and you're looking down at her. When you're looking up at something it feels monumental and intimidating or panicked depending on the circumstance and subject ( wolf = intimidating dropped camera = panic. ). Those will also help you a lot.

Maybe I'll take some of my own advice here and get to work on my own shorts I've got lying around and stop badgering you about crap.