This game, thought the Van Helsing, is getting old. She counted the ratios. 11 townies remaining, including herself, 3 of those 11 were known roles leaving 8 to find 3 vampires. Simple right? Then if you add odd behavior and suspicious accounts that would leaveâ€¦ A bunch of peopleâ€¦ Ugh. You know what? Iâ€™m just going to wait at the top of town hall and seeâ€™s what happens tonight. And if people die, well tough luck.
So she climbed the building and began to wait, carefully watching the townâ€¦
At about the same time the Van Helsing was doing her math the last monster team was plotting theyâ€™re nightly actions.
â€œAlright team,â€ said the fearsome Nosferatu. â€œIâ€™ve got to vent some of this stress off and Iâ€™m going to do that by killing Hakoshen. What do you feel like doing?â€
â€œWell I think I wanna turn therealTJâ€, answered the new vampire.
â€œOh! I wanna turn another girl!â€ said the slightly older vampire who doesnâ€™t sparkle.
â€œWhat is it with you and turning females?â€ asked Nosferatu.
â€œSimple. Girl vampires are hot and guy vampires are emo. And I donâ€™t wanna deal with some emo boy complaining about how terribly dark existence is ALL THE FRICKINâ€™ TIMEâ€, stated the un-sparkly vampire.
â€œUmâ€¦ But weâ€™re BOTH guy vampires.â€
â€œYeah but weâ€™re cool.â€
â€œThat is pretty trueâ€¦ Alright! So weâ€™ll split up- do our things and meet back here!â€
And so the three temporary disbanded to cause chaos to the townâ€¦
Nosferatu traveled quickly into the night. He knew exactly where his target would be. Their demise would be his sweet relief.
â€œYou there!â€ he yelled at a nearby shadow.
â€œMe there?â€ replied the shadow.
â€œYour death is upon you! Prepare to fight!â€
â€œOf courseâ€, said Hakoshen stepping out of the shadows. â€œIâ€™ve been waiting for this really. Even brought a weapon.â€ He lifted up a sock with who knows what in it.
â€œA sock? You think a SOCK can DEFEAT ME?!â€
â€œSureâ€¦ A sock filled with GARLIC that is!â€ Hakoshen rushed Nosferatu twirled the sock like a battle mace and conked him his head.
â€œWhat? What IS this? PINEAPPLE?!â€ yelled a VERY angry Nosferatu.
â€œWhat?!â€ said Hakoshen open the sock to reveal a smash pineapple and a blurry note read I.O.U. â€œAw fu---â€œ
He didnâ€™t have enough time to finish that sentence since Nosferatu punched his in the stomach instantly breaking a few ribs and sending Hakoshen flying into a telephone post. The vampire strode over andâ€¦
Garlic? But where?
Hidden in Hakoshen shadowy coat someone had kindly slipped in some garlic that had opened a bit when he had collided with the post. The powerful stink wrapped him in a protective barrier against the vampire who had no option but to retreat. Hakoshen passed out from the pain of his wounds and relief.
Iâ€™m sure someone will find him and take him to the hospitalâ€¦ Anytime nowâ€¦
Hakoshen the townie is brutally wounded but ALIVE
Meanwhile the new vampire was having a devil of a time trying to turn a new person. Their victim had seen them before they had seen the victim and a chase had started. The vampire had more speed but the victimâ€™s path was so crazy that it was just like a zebra, zigzagging from the predator. It was very tiring.
â€œListen! Iâ€™m NOT going to kill you okay?â€ panted the vampire.â€ I just want to turn you is all!â€
â€œGeez NO!â€, yelled back therealTJ leaping into a tree taking the chase into the branches.â€Vampires SUCK!â€
â€œThatâ€™s- Thatâ€™s not very nice!â€
â€œYour FACE isnâ€™t very nice!â€
Well that pissed the vampire off enough for the huntress instincts to finally kick in and they quickly over toke therealTJ.
But despite catching the rascally fellaâ€™ a terrible stank arose from his person.
â€œYOU HAD GARLIC! This WHOLE TIME I was chasing you, YOU HAD GARLIC?!â€ cried the vampire in angry disbelief.
The vampire knew she couldnâ€™t approach such a terrible smell but this was too much. She spotted a few pinecones pick them up and began hurtling them at the shouldâ€™ve been turnee. TherealTJ began to run away from the pineconing but the vampire, who had nothing better to do for a few more hours, followed him pelting him continually with pinecones.
TherealTJ gets away! More or lessâ€¦
Elsewhere a non-sparkly vampire stalked his prey. He had decided on Retaya and had spent the better part of his night looking for her. She wasnâ€™t in the newbie houses, or at any of the shops, or by the dock, desert, or volcano. So he went then to the center of town where town hall stood so he could climb it and look for her bird eye view style.
However looking up there was somebody already up there. But he was not to be deterred and started climbing up there anyway.
â€œHey you!â€ yelled the vampire. â€œHave you seen Retaya tonight?â€
â€œWell where is she?â€
â€œRight here vampire!â€ Retaya moved off her perched, whipped out a wooden stake and climb slowly down to where the vampire stood.
However the vampire had other plans and leapt right off the roof and headed to the cathedral to tell his master of the discovery.
The vampire ESCAPES!
The Van Helsing followed the young vampire to the cathedral and quietly walked in to find a single figure waiting for her.
â€œIâ€™ve found you at lastâ€¦ Nosferatuâ€¦â€ calmly spoke the Van Helsing. â€œOr should I call you Harkovast?â€
â€œHmph. I never hid. To imply that you â€˜foundâ€™ me just speaks of your own foolishness- even your old teacher knew betterâ€¦â€ smirked Harkovast the Nosferatu. â€œBut even then she was fairly foolhardy. Must be why she choose you as her apprentice.â€
â€œDonâ€™t you dare speak of her like that! She was a hero! And so am I! I slayed the Ghoul! I shot down the Alpha Male when he ran amok! And nowâ€¦ Now Iâ€™ll kill you and seal my fate as the deliverer of this town, the epic hero. All alone against two little baby vampires and the big baddie, something greater than anything my teacher ever did.â€
â€œWe will seeâ€¦â€ said Harkovast vanishing into the shadows.
Retaya whipped around carefully searching the cathedral with her eyes, keen and alert. There would be no hidingâ€¦ This would end tonight and everyone knew it. Suddenly she heard a faint laugh.
â€œThe end is here! The end is there! The end! The end! The end!â€ laughed Garbonzo Bean, the newly turned, in a fit of hysterics sitting out of reach on top of the organ pipes. â€œHello hunter, which will the end be?â€
â€œHer end for certainâ€, smiled Salsa, the non-sparkly, pulling out a vast supply of heavy artillery. â€œIâ€™ve been remodeling this place as a fortress of sorts. Theyâ€™re much more to aspire to then just merely be a second class vampire in an isolated town like this one. With you out of the way weâ€™ll move on using this as the center of operations.â€
The hunter pulled out her own gun quickly and fired a round into the vampire as she jumped behind the alter. The vampire laughed at her meager display of bravo. Who brings silver bullets to vampire battle? The hunter readied her stake, once the arrogant vampire got close enough this fight would be over. But where had Harkovast gone?
â€œLittle hunter ready to die?â€ asked Garbozo who had managed to get behind the Van Helsing without her noticing. The vampires nails were long and sharp and sliced the air just missing Retayaâ€™s neck who was now up against the wall.
â€œLast words?â€ smiled Salsa.
â€œIâ€™m thristy.â€ Said Retaya bracing for impact.
â€œWhat kind of-â€œ
The wall shattered and a large punch bowl wearing shorts burst through screaming OH YEAH! It was the Kool-Aid guy, providing a handy escape path to the outside for Retaya to gain the upper hand once again.
â€œAfter her!â€ hissed Garbonzo punching the Kool-Aid man, shattering his weak plastic body. As she raced outside a serpentine form leaped out and attacked her.
â€œAAAAHHHHH! ITâ€™S A SNAKE!â€ cried the vampire. It fell to the ground reveling that it was merely a rubber imitation. A ruse she had fallen for.
Salsa had passed the panicking vampire and trailed after Retaya. He moved so quickly that he didnâ€™t see the thin line dangling 3 feet in the air. The metal wire wouldâ€™ve normally cut through anything going that speed but vampire are a special kind of tough and Salsa merely tumbled to the ground landing hard near by a John Deere tractor. Retaya had hidden behind the tractor and quickly turn it on and it moved forward tearing the quick healing flesh of Salsa legs. His legs quickly jammed the tractor trapping him enough for Retaya to plunge a wooden stake through his heart.
Salsa the vampire is DEAD
â€œNo!â€ cried Garbonzo catching up. She leapt 20 feet into the air at Retaya who calculated the angle of dissent as quickly as she could. She pulled out her extra stake and just before Garbonzo bean could skewer the hunter stabbed her through the heart.
Garbonzo Bean the vampire is DEAD
The vampire had managed to scratch the hunter arms and blood poured from the new wounds and the re-opened old ones. She was in bad shape and still needed to track down Nosferatu and finish him offâ€¦
â€œWhere IS he?!â€she asked the shadows hopelessly, tending to her wounds. Two shadows moved among the bell tower falling down and disappearing into the ground. â€œThe last fight. The final moment between the Van Helsing and Nosferatuâ€¦ The battle of the bell tower.â€
She looked up just as the bell rang the first toll. She set off running back into the cathedral and up the winding stairs until at lastâ€¦
Clap, clap, clap. â€œWell done defeating my underlings Van Helsing. And all by yourself. Say, you must be pretty tired by nowâ€¦ Hardly even a threat reallyâ€, chided Harkovast his fangs shining in the moonlight.
â€œI have enough in me to take you down Nosferatuâ€¦â€
â€œYes yes, and youâ€™ll save the townâ€¦ And everyone will be honky dory and rainbows will shoot out of everyoneâ€™s butts and itâ€™ll rain cookies and cupcakes. Blah blah blah.â€
The bell continued to ring intensely.
â€œIâ€™m not too sure about the whole rainbows outta butts thing but I do know something about mystical doorwaysâ€¦ For instance this bellâ€¦ This IS where it all ended for you in the last lifeâ€¦ Itâ€™s probably the gateway you crawled out ofâ€¦ So what would happen if, say, it was destroyed?â€
â€œReally Hark. I donâ€™t have to be strong enough to defeat you. I just need to defeat this bell and thanks to your explosives expertâ€¦ Well, Iâ€™d say a good zombie torching should blow this place up the way itâ€™s supposed to be.â€
Hark reached out to grab her but it was too late she had tossed the torch down the tower stairs setting everything on fire.
â€œYouâ€™ll die too.â€ He said darkly. â€œIâ€™ll make sure of it!â€
But she had already jump slowly plummeting down holding onto the old bell rope. About a story from the ground the rope tugged back and sent her flying into the dirt. Nosferatu, never one to give up a fight, flew down after her just as the entire cathedral collapse. He ran over to her to rip her to shreds when the bell came crashing down right on top of him with a loud CLANG.
The next morning they found the Van Helsing, Retaya, out in the graveyard by the cathedral badly injured. She pointed to the bell nearby rambling something about ghosts and enchantments and all kinds of mumbo jumbo. They lifted the bell up but all that was left of the Nosferatu, without his cathedral to give him hold in this world, was a pile of dust that blew away with a strong gust of wind.
Harkovast the Nosferatu is DEAD
And so the town was saved by this rookie hero and the people rejoiced!
Congrats! You won Mafia XVIII: This is Halloween!