I've recently written a script for a horror book. I wanted it to be as disturbing as the Exorcist was for me to watch, 'cause I find 99% of the horror out there to be more about gore than actual "horror".

My problem was that for me to make it disturbingly horrific I had to write things that were either societal taboos or personally repulsive. I had to delve into places within me that were darker than I thought I was even remotely capable of, & dwell on things that were personally upsetting.

Here's my question: how far are you willing to push yourself to create a powerful story? Have you ever gone to places within yourself to create a tale that you found very uncomfortable, or have you preferred to keep it a purely pleasant experience?

I'm not making any judgements, just curious.

Later,
Chip

I have done stuff i found disturbing in the past, but I have chosen to keep Rocketship A Go-Go on the light side. It's meant to be fun entertainment, so I try not to go to heavy when there are dark and disturbing elements. I like combining some horror elements with humor and lightness, but it means I'm always trying to balance them out.

I recall one point where I was supposed to draw a little girl who was crying and upset, and so I was studying the faces of crying little girls. As I started to do the drawing, i got kind of uncomfortable. I decided I didn't really *want* to draw that face. I ended up putting that shot in silhouette, granting the little girl a veil of privacy as she bawled her eyes out.

So my answer is - I *will* oush myself to create a more powerful story - but I don't always want to.

I am actually writing the script for volume 7 of MOSAIC right now, so I am far ahead of what is on DD. Anyway, in order to create believable character death, I had to draw upon memories of several people I have known who died. Also, six of my closest friends' parents are divorced. So when I wrote about when Jade's dad left, and took her brother with, I had to think about all those times I had to sit with my crying friends, trying to make them feel better. So, yes, it seems I will push myself that far...Just wait untill volumes 10 and 11.

I go the whole nine yards. I have screamed and cried and ranted about what happens in my stories, or kicked at furniture for things that I personally find disturbing or profoundly unfair. I don't have an interest to write horror per se, but I am not squeamish if I need it to push a point. I have done this again and again in my Art of Veiling trilogy. There are some chapters I can't read over once they are written, because they are so upsetting.

Me too... I get emotional when I write or after thinking about writing. In addition to writer's block, now I contend with a sort of "writer's sadness," when I have to work up my will to draw a page or chapter that will involve killing someone or an especially sad flashback. Oh, and betrayal... Betrayal is always emotion-evoking. I have actually sulked, cried, and fretting over what I was "about to do."

I found I'm not timid to write/draw violent or sad things, but I work up to them. I started with near death moments of non-central characters. Then some sad/violent flashbacks and some really bloody stuff in the present setting. My first here-and-now bodies haven't yet appeared in my uploaded comic pages, but it will be happening soon-ish. (Sorry for the non-specific spoiler to anyone reading my comic. ;) )

I don't do horror, but the drama is intense and there are copious amounts of violence and sorrow. It's tough, but the characters are strong and the humor and happiness in the midst of the storm make it not only bearable but fun. The flashbacks are the most intense, and since they explain a lot about why the characters act like they do, I really enjoy drawing them. (Somehow, I can be a lot more harsh in flashbacks than the current setting. I don't hesitate in making them HORRIBLE without much redemption.)

There are a few scenes later on in Lady Luck that make me very nervous about drawing - but fortunately, I'm not working alone on that story.

One thing that I struggle with a lot that I've faced down recently - writing a "bad" end to a story. Even my saddest endings leave the characters with some hope left. Sometimes I start with a hopeless ending but I can't seem to leave it like that and add things to it by the end of the story -

Hmm, in the very next chapter I'm working on, my script initially called for a graphic flashback of a rape + brutal beating. I was all gung-ho about it, insisting it adds to character and drama and all that.

But my co-artist and an "editor" both opposed it. I was outvoted, so I nixed the scene.

I always write the death of my characters from the view point of the mourners. I feel the impact of deaths are more potent that way. So I never really draw explicit death scenes and gore...just never felt the need. So I may not push myself to the dark places you have gone with your book yet. I find the emotional stuff in your book more powerful anyways...especially when he is talking to the gravestone.

I, eerrhm... sigh may as well write this as it is.
When It comes to my creations I'm a heartless bastard. Sure, I have very emotional scenes running in my head, but I feel... detatched. I rarely draw or write my worst scenes, but they're there, and some day I'll have to jot them down. Maybe then it'll be hard, but imagening it is terribly easy for me.

I think it's my inner pessimist. Sure, I believe in the best in people, but I still know the world isn't pure sunshine and gumdrops. It's grim and gritty and full of flaws. I can't make my worlds perfect, because that's just not how it is.

Sorry, I rambled, but everybody always think I think the world is wonderful when they meet me. But I don't, not the way they think, I just see it all with optimism.

I guess I'm kinda a wiener in this domain - I honestly think I have yet to come up with a plot in which I actually kill off a lead character. Every time I envision a scene in which it happens, I find myself scrambling for ways to bring them back or reveal that they had somehow averted death. I guess you could say I use the "Marvel method" of killing off my characters.

I don't write anything dramatic, but if it's makes you, the author, uncomfortable while writing it that probably means its good stuff.

I see lots of things in the fiction I read that must have been uncomfortable for the author to write, not just the disturbing stuff, but the stuff you can tell is deeply personal and human. The shameful and uncomfortable and vulnerable stuff. Its times like that you get the really good writing.

I guess I'm kind of a pansy, but I cried when I thought up the ending to my comic. That's the minute I realized that the ending HAD to be that, otherwise it just wouldn't be the same.

Of course i'm going to do things that will make things uncomfortable, American007 is a dramatic comic, after all. There's going to be themes of angst, despair, and lots of violence. I've got a lot of character introductions and deaths planned, and when they die, it's probably gonna suck, but it will make my comic much more powerful.

Well two weeks ago I had a story about a sexual deviant brutalizing two teenage boys and this week I have a story about a ninja going to college with the assistance of a bumbling robot. Pretty much every appearance of Abortion Man makes me question myself as a human being, because I find him to be hilarious but at the same time how can a person laugh at such terrible things?

I've done a lot worse in my comics though, and I've been working on doing a horror story in penis thats really just creepy and leaves you with that weirded out creepy feeling. I'm also going to do slapstick gore-comedy for the Drunk Duck zombies thing, but thats not necessarily bad its just in the vien of Dead Alive or Evil Dead.

I always try and do stories of every genre with my stuff. Most days, I only want a done-in-one page but on occasion I like to let stories run more. What makes it difficult is that I write them so you could come in at any page without missing anything, but at the same time I don't want to rail road people who have already been reading the story stuff they already know.

Its hard work making my comic rub people the wrong way, but if it does anything its that. Or you could leave it feeling dirty with a bad taste in your mouth. Or you could just laugh yourself silly at the absurdity of situations. Its all about how you percieve it, you can't read a review and "get" my work. You have to see it for yourself, form your opinion on it. I made a page with a cartoon shark calling Dennis Miller names. I went in with the idea to get people asking themselves questions: Do you think a shark making comments about Dennis Miller is funny? Did you agree with the sharks comments on Dennis Miller? Do you know how I feel about Dennis Miller? Do you think this is just a funny cartoon not to be taken seriously or is this serious social commentary that can't be missed?

Its a lot of hard work doing dick and fart jokes the way I do it.