Another EDIT: I forgot to mention this thread contains SPOILERS (GASP!) not that it matters really, because if you're capable of things like rational thought, you will not see this film.

You know, next time an anime fanatic starts telling me how we should all worship the Japanese as gods, I will show them this film.

It's called Wild Zero, and follows the story of Ace, as he explores a land of zombies, crappy bands, aliens, and homosexuality. Intrigued? Then read on, and thank the big beard in the sky that you never have to watch this travesty. I saw it a while ago, and have no desire to see it again, so I may have forgotten some stuff, not that that is difficult, because the plot (or lack of) makes no sense whatsoever.

Ace is an aspiring rock star, and decides to visit his favourite band who are in his city (never named, or I've forgotten it, let's call it. . . moronville) so, he's sneaks past the armed guards (I'm not being sarcastic there) and goes to the dressing room, and witness's his hero having a minor dispute with his agent/manager/owner of club (we'll call him Arseman), who looks like he's wearing a wig (he is). Long story short, Arseman gets two of his fingers blasted off, and a couple of goons get shot as well, but their wounds are a bit more fatal. Singer man isn't arrested, as there no police in Japan apparently. He meets Ace, and stops long enough to give a few pointers, (like 'get out of here, now') and proceeds to bugger off.

Ace wisely decides to follow Singer man's advice, and does a bit of buggering off of his own, stopping at a petrol station in the middle of nowhere to buy petrol, and snacks. Unfortunately for Ace, a random girl (whom I dubbed 'She-Man') and the proprietors of the establishment, some guy with knives decides he doesn't need to pay for snacks, and promptly robs them blind, he and his chums then pop back to their lovely car, and bugger off in a manner similar to that of Ace and Singer man earlier.

Some boring stuff happens, and Ace encounters some unfriendly people who are covered in green paint. It turns out these people are a tad peckish, as they try to devour his scrumptious flesh. Oh yeah, and no explanation is given for the presence of the zombies, well there is, but it's not much of an explanation. So, Ace comes to the conclusion that Earth is infested with ZOMBIES! Oh for silly luck! Typical though isn't it? You finally finish paying for that big fancy car you purchased, and then the human race goes and gets wiped out, selfish, that's what it is, didn't get everyone dropping dead for next to no reason in my day, I can tell you.

Ace then meets back up with She-Man, and they go around screaming and hide in a big house. Then this lady with two, enormous, beautiful. . . guns comes along, and begins to massacre zombies in a hail of bullets, unrealistic gore, and the worst CGI I have ever seen in my life. And last time I checked, pistols are not capable of removing head, nor does dead human skin act in the same way as the T-1000 when shot. But I've never even seen a real gun, so what do I know?

Meanwhile, back in the big house, She-Man removes her shirt, and Ace is shocked, as he is a virgin, and has never seen breasts before. Nah, I'm just kidding, he's shocked because it turns out that the name I gave She-Man is only half right, guess which half? So, he then decides to run away. The lady with the big weaponry meets the robbers and they run off to some warehouse full of guns, but, it turns out one of them is infected! Oh woe! And everything was going so well. Anyway, a former friend of the gun lady shows up, but he's a zombie, and asks to be let in, the infected robber, now by this a full zombie, let's him in, and the other two robbers get eaten to death, lady manages to escape.

I forget what happens after that until a certain point, it's probably not important though, so skip to lady and Singer man trapped in a flat, Arseman's there to, but they're up on the top floor, and he's all the way down on the ground outside. They did not account for the grenade launcher Arseman suddenly has though, and are very surprised when the wall blows up. A brief gun fight ensues, in which Arseman loses his hair, and gets . . . laser vision. Yes, you read that right, LASER FUCKING VISION! from losing his hair? Bloody hell, I'm gonna go buy a razor. He lasers around a bit, then dies somehow, I think he explodes. then the aliens show up, or, more accurately, their ship flies over head and Singer man pulls a katana out of his suddenly stringless guitar and chops it in half. I assume the aliens are responsible for the zombies, but no one says they are, so they really could just be showing up for no reason whatsobloodyever. The films ends with Ace forging a beautiful relationship with She-Man, and Singer man and the gun lady. . . um, well they don't let us know, I like to think they got married, then turned into robots and went to fight monkeys in space.

I have no idea when it was made, it looks around the 70's - 80's period of crap B-movies, but it's Japanese, and I have no idea what Japan is like now, so I can't really be sure.

Well, I'm glad I got that off my chest, now I'm going to find out who thought it was a good idea, and murder them.

P.S: I have nothing against gay's, two of my friends are gay, and I only have three friends, so that's the majority of them. I say this because I've been called a homophobe when I said I disliked someone, and she turned out to be a lesbian and I don't want to be harassed by people who seem to think that mentioning a homosexual (sorry, I mean, person of alternate lifestyle) in any bad context will somehow bring about the apocalypse, even if the fact that they're gay has nothing to do with it.

EDIT: Is there any way to turn off the emotes? They seem to have randomly popped up in places where they shouldn't be.

ichi the killer

the last good semi decent japanese film i saw was "the suicide club" and that was terrible. I just thought it was funny that they had a dude that looked alot like David Bowie.

You realize now I MUST watch this movie, right?

But damn, Amazon.com wants a full $20 for it. What a rip.

By the way, this movie was made in 2000.

sounds more like a comedy more than a serious project.

Phantom Penguin: Yeah, I thought the Japanese were supposed to good at stuff like this? Maybe they should stick to robots.

ccs1989: I refuse to believe anything you just said in that post. I borrowed this off a friend, so I paid nothing, and I still felt ripped off.


Red Slayer: Maybe it was, I think I'll just believe that, in the hopes of keeping my sanity.

subcultured: Yer what?

Wild Zero = Awesome.

Rock and Roll!

subcultured
ichi the killer

haha... the nipple movie.

there's also the spatula movie and the hammer movie... ie: Gozu and Oldboy.

gozu...cow licking
ugh

miike takasi's "dead or alive"...poo bathing,
i kid you not.

whoa... sounds like an... interesting movie.
I've actually only seen one live-action Japanese movie that I liked (ok... I haven't seen that many live-action japanese movies), but it was shinchin no samurai.. "seven samurai"? Which probably everyone has seen... but that one was super-awesome!
the other japanese movies I've seen are "Gamara the Invincible" and ... some lame one about evil spirits with bad CGI. (Oh, and "Nobody Knows".)

it's probably because we're used to the American film industry's dominance, which is a lot better-funded than Japan's, so the craptacular editing, picture quality, and sfx seem blaringly bad. idk.
(I think I wanna watch this movie though.)

Wild Zero or Plan 9 From Outer Space, which one should I watch? 8D

Both.