MagickLorelai
By the way, Wyldflowa, I'm sure you meant well to your friend by trying to teach her how to eat and how to do things "right", but did she ASK you, or did you just come in and assume she needed your help? That makes a difference to if someone is able to learn what you're trying to teach. Even if you so kindly take the time to explain it to her, if she isn't ready to learn or hear it, she won't learn. It'll only hurt her pride more to have someone who looks down on her and condescends to her. Reading the way you spoke of her, I got the impression you valued her less because she was struggling with what I bet were deep, stressful problems.

I valued her less because she treated me like shit - she'd constantly berate me lambast my artwork and was perpetually tring to get one up on me. I, foolishly, stood by her, tried to be nice to her, tried to help her despite just being something she used to make herself feel a bit better. She never outwardly asked for my help, no, but she would moan and moan about being overweight and I took this as meaning she wanted some help. When you see someone and they've been cutting their arms up because they've just hit the 16 stone mark then it's difficult NOT to try and step in and do something. She just carried on, didn't listen and didn't appreciate that I was being what I considered a good friend to someone who wasn't one in return. :/ If she was thin I'd still be bitching about her! She was horrid to me!

Honestly, if she hadn't moaned about it or cut herself about it then I wouldn't have said anything. I totally don't mind what size, shape or colour someone is~ My anger towards her is fuelled by how she treated me like an emotional doormat, not her weight. I might sit here and go "goddam what a fat bitch!" the same way you talk in your post about "that blonde bitch" - I have nothing against fat people like you have nothing against blonde people, it's just the nearest adjective I've got to hand when describing her. =_=

*sighsighs* Really, I'm not a horrible person, I just wanted to do something to stop her from hurting herself and all she seemed to do is throw it in my face. I don't have the patience or the lack of self-respect to let myself get repeatedly trampled just for trying to be nice to someone. If all overweight people are like that then damn, no wonder they don't get much sympathy. But I guess they're not all like that... this is just the only experience I have dealing with someone like that and it's really jaded me tbh.

Being fat is not an excuse for parking in spaces intended for disabled people.

daniel_the_drummer
Being fat is not an excuse for parking in spaces intended for disabled people.

Who said anything about that?

I advocate against size discrimination but I don't advocate for declaring it a disability.

...and here, I thought I'd gotten out of this discussion. Oh, well... :)

daniel_the_drummer
Being fat is not an excuse for parking in spaces intended for disabled people.

...That wasn't brought up, but I wonder if you've ever tried to stand carrying the equivalent of two or "healthy" people in addition to your own. No, it's not healthy to be that big, all other arguments aside on whether they brought it on themselves, it's not EASY to move around at that size. There's a reason big people can look clumsy at times. If someone, like me, is able to walk the whole parking lot, I highly recommend it..but some people need the disability space, for a genuine disability. At a certain size, it IS a physical handicap.

Wyldflowa, Sorry if *I* was a little bit hostile in my post, or accusatory. It gets my ire sometimes, this kind of issue.

While I understand you being frustrated, angry, and furious with this friend, two things: You didn't need to be her friend, if she was hurting you, and while she WAS crying out for help in a way, in her mind she might still have thought, "I didn't ask for your help", especially if she thought of you as you describe her as treating you. It's a frustrating, endless circle of bad feelings that can make things go REALLY sour in a hurry. I can appreciate what you tried to do for her, but some folks just are NOT willing to hear about what's good for them.

:3 And I hope you get to meet some fat people who aren't that awful, because there are some very, very, VERY wonderful people of the large persuasion.

(And Blondes are Evil. I should know, as I am one...under years of sun deprivation and dying my hair).

lol

do I have some extra baggage? Yes, not gonna deny that. So sue me. I like processed foods, and I really don't care. They are DELICIOUS.

You're still gonna die anyway, might as well live my life on a diet more fulfilling than an alfalfa sandwich with cottage cheese and carrot sticks.

zirnitra
lol

do I have some extra baggage? Yes, not gonna deny that. So sue me. I like processed foods, and I really don't care. They are DELICIOUS.

You're still gonna die anyway, might as well live my life on a diet more fulfilling than an alfalfa sandwich with cottage cheese and carrot sticks.

people who are on diets don't have to resort to eating only that.

people can still eat rich foods normally, and still eat healthy! You just have to know the difference between GOOD and BAD fat

Take Peaunt Butter for instance. some people say it's fattening... but what people don't know is that it's actually rich in protien and GOOD Fat. so having an simple peaunt butter and banana sandwich can be very healthy, but also equally as sastfiying too.

people don't need to starve themselves on an diet.

Aurora Moon

zirnitra
lol

do I have some extra baggage? Yes, not gonna deny that. So sue me. I like processed foods, and I really don't care. They are DELICIOUS.

You're still gonna die anyway, might as well live my life on a diet more fulfilling than an alfalfa sandwich with cottage cheese and carrot sticks.

people who are on diets don't have to resort to eating only that.

people can still eat rich foods normally, and still eat healthy! You just have to know the difference between GOOD and BAD fat

Take Peaunt Butter for instance. some people say it's fattening... but what people don't know is that it's actually rich in protien and GOOD Fat. so having an simple peaunt butter and banana sandwich can be very healthy, but also equally as sastfiying too.

people don't need to starve themselves on an diet.

And why would I want to worry about what is good and bad fat when all I want is something to eat? When I eat food I don't want to worry about calories, fats, carbs, etc. to see if I am ok to eat it at a certain time of the day. I want it to taste good, because what's the point of eating anything if it tastes like crap? If what I deem "not crap" is healthy or unhealthy doesn't matter.

zirnitra
And why would I want to worry about what is good and bad fat when all I want is something to eat? When I eat food I don't want to worry about calories, fats, carbs, etc. to see if I am ok to eat it at a certain time of the day. I want it to taste good, because what's the point of eating anything if it tastes like crap? If what I deem "not crap" is healthy or unhealthy doesn't matter.

Well, don't worry about it intensely, but just know what's good. Get a craving for a snack? Grab an apple. Eating steak? Great! Big, fat steak; just throw some green beans on the side, or something. It's also a bit of portion control.

It's one thing to say, "We're all gonna die anyway". That's true. But what about the QUALITY of what little life we do have? That's the point for eating healthy. I struggle to move around or be on my feet for longer than a few hours. I have trouble breathing when lying at certain angles where the weight is on my lungs. I can't run very well or very far. Sure, I enjoy eating certain foods, but what is that versus being able to endure normal, everyday activities? And taht's just for the problem of being OVERWEIGHT. That doesn't even cover the other stuff that happens. Liver failure, organ failure, heart failure, poor nutrition...the list goes on.

And it doesn't mean giving up the foods you like. I eat some processed foods, too. It's also about getting up and out more often: Go for a walk, play a sport, play around with friends, work out at the gym or at home. These are not unreasonable things to ask of someone, nor am I suggesting you don't already! Worrying about it makes it worse, but not caring at all means hurting yourself AND the quality of your life.

*shrug*But, that's up to you, 100%. I'm speaking as a fat person who's lost 60 pounds in the last 7 months alone eating foods that I like, and is enjoying life a lot more now.

I'm perfectly fine with the quality life I am living. Thing is, I don't like green beans, or other vegetables. I'm not going to force myself to eat that crap so I can have a fit body when I can do everything I do just fine with the body I have.

While veggies helps you out on an diet, it also isn't reiqured. =D

people can still eat the foods that they really enjoy and still be healthy, veggies or not.

In fact you could still eat the same types of foods that you're eating right now and still be healthy... sometimes it all comes down to prepearing the foods a little bit differently than before for it to be healthy.
example: Deep-frying something such as fries before made it too fattening and competely unhealthy. But if you switch over to just oven-baking the fries, then it's suddenly twice as healthy than before.

that's all I was trying to say. It's just a matter of knowledge... not worrying obbessively.

of course, if you're perfectly happy with the way things are and can manage life well, then that's fine.. =D

That's just my posts weren't for you personally, I was just throwing that out for anybody who wanted to know.

Well if someone wants to prepare their foods differently let them. As long as they are happy with it and don't cringe while the swallow there's no reason to change your diet.

Anyone seen BBW fetish sites like Southern Charms, myspace, or youtube? They're really sick and disgustingly hilarious.

"hi yal, my names ginger kitty 666 and I'm gonna eat for yal" then she shoves cake into her face or rubs it all over her disgusting fat rolls.

Talk about comedy gold! "She'll never do Leno.."

People do lots of things that other people find "unhealthy." They gamble and they drink. They do drugs and they play video games all day. They make poor choices about sexual activity. They do dangerous "extreme" sports. They pick fights. They become anorexic.

But somehow, those things don't get commented on much. You can do all kinds of "unhealthy" things all day and people wont talk trash about you on a message board like this one - but fat is different, somehow. Everyone feels very welcome to comment on other people and their lives if they are fat - not just comment, but pass judgement.

That always surprises me.

zirnitra
lol

do I have some extra baggage? Yes, not gonna deny that. So sue me. I like processed foods, and I really don't care. They are DELICIOUS.

You're still gonna die anyway, might as well live my life on a diet more fulfilling than an alfalfa sandwich with cottage cheese and carrot sticks.

you are my hero

As someone posted somewhere on Livejournal in regards to people trying to cover their Shapism(XD) with fake concern;

"If you want to hate fat people, fine, but don't hide it under the guise of being concerned for their health. Just admit you're shallow and move on."

Perfect sentiment. :3