(By, the way...TNT...I give a shit about marriage.)
My sister-in-law is buggin' out lately because she got engaged and is getting cold feet. She's been with her fiance for years, everyone loves the dude... but now she's starting to freak. Why?
I've been married for 5 years, and we were together for around 4 years before that. The marriage didn't make me love my wife more or less. My father-in-law has been with the same woman for over 15 years, but they have no desire to marry. They are monogamous, live together, love each other, raised 4 kids, et cetera. But they don't want to be married.
All this hullabaloo over a social contract. So I ask, why do you give a shit about marriage?
Because I married well. In my match I can see how much happiness and fulfillment can be gained from sharing your life with someone that you were truly meant to spend your life with. I'm under no delusions. I'm VERY LUCKY. Most people will never know the love I receive and give back to my chosen; but I sure don't want the dream of that kind of passion to not exist for everyone. I don't care if your gay, straight or from the moon--if you can find that kind of love, you freakin' hold on and never let it go.
If you only see marriage as a "social contract" you will never see my point. Which is sad and if I were your wife, I would honestly check out. Why would you settle for that kind of love, when there is an epitome of your desire out there that will make you weak? You'll never get it and that's sad to me.
For me, sharing my life with my Husband is more rewarding than any job I've ever had, living with him, making him laugh, sharing his thoughts...that's what makes it all "worth" it...if you've never had that kind of fulfillment from making someone else happy, you're not suited the best you could be.
Don't marry the first skirt or John that comes along because all your friends are doin' it, or because it's what's expected of you at a particular time in your life...marry someone because you love them and can't imagine your existance without them, life'll be a lot happier in the "relationship" department if you do. I'm sorry you view marriage with such cynicism and loathing, why do you stay married then? Wouldn't you rather be alone?
If your sister-in-law has cold feet, maybe she shouldn't get married. I'm sorry after so long of marriage you don't love your wife more...I love my Husband more and more every day, I wonder if she feels the same about you...that would hurt my feelings. As for people not wanting to be "married" from the description of your father-and-law and his honey--seems like they are. You don't need the paper to be married, sport.