http://www.drunkduck.com/Zorphbert_and_Fred/

Z&F I think has good, consistent humor.
http://www.drunkduck.com/Zorphbert_and_Fred/index.php?p=153937
I honestly can't say much about dgriff's art, I mean, it's unique, original, and cartoony.
On a scale of 1 to 10 for comics, 1 being the worst, I would rate this comic a 7.5.

There is room for improvement.

Story; This is essentially a pet comic strip with a twist the main characters are really aliens disguised as dogs. The strip follows their exciting discoveries about earth culture and hilarities ensue. You must excuse me if I am flippant, because, fact is this is a very accomplished comic, text-book in fact. It belongs in a newspaper. It has proper and verging on creative punchlines and all that stuff. Well greyscaled art. Occasionally colour. Large-ish archive. The story develops well and a variety of characters are introduced to keep it all fresh. The two protagonists fall into the serious and stupid mould. Can't really fault it. My main problem is that there is nothing "killer" about this comic. No strips grabbed me and really said WOW. Maybe its too mainstream for me. The experimental cat in this household has been neutered. Whatever that analogy means. Yep. This is consistant stuff.

Art; Again, I really can't fault this stuff. Colour episodes are naturally better. The lettering is clear and works. Panels are well composed with dialogue pretty well balanced with action and stuff like that. Characters are drawn lucidly and with life. Perhaps lacking the stylized edge of some of the better newspaper strips I would put this art into the "far better than average" category. It even has backgrounds which is always a pleasure.
Again for me this is all very good and mainstream and stuff, but it just lacks something a bit extra and a bit "killer".

In conclusion this comic is good. I'm giving it 5/5 simply because most people gave the promising yet ultimately flawed and in need of another 2 years of practice "Alan" 4.5/5. By that level I can't find anything by which to flaw this comic with. But it really does lack the verve or whatever it was that made me want to do comics.

but then this comic deserves all the readership it can get.

Right, where to start?

Z&F is the shiznit and Dawn Griffin deserves all her wildest dreams to manifest themselves into a giant marshmallow toupee which she can then wear as a crown that will melt in the sun but still make the townspeople green with envy.

WORD!!

Ersatz.




P.S. It really is the shiznit! If you dare disagree I'll do you in!

Kisses.

Thanks for the reviews, guys! Danthemancartoons pointed out something I kind of agree with- I feel as though there's this "next level" where I could take Z&F to that would give it more of a "zing", shall we say. Maybe it's doing more "alien" stories and less dog/pet humor... just making the storylines and jokes crazier... I'm not sure. I know I can't take it too far, as I'm still creating this with newspaper syndication in mind, and even saying "Oh, God." too much would scare them away. It's tricky creating something with "zing" without using "traditional" zing like curse words, potty humor or adult subject matter! *whew*

Thanks again for the kind & helpful words, I hope to hear more! What would take Z&F to the next level, anyone?

This is one of those comics that you can easily start reading and immediately understand the premise of, i.e. you don't need to start from the beginning to get it. The artwork may not be highly detailed, but this isn't a bad thing and it is certainly appealing. I also imagine it'd be a lot harder to update it regularly if too much effort went into extras (like always being in colour), and Dantheman's already pointed out that it does have colour (at times) and backgrounds... it's been said before here that Z & F would fit in well in a newspaper, and considering the structure and number of updates I would agree there.

DGriff, you asked for suggestions (dunno if someone's already suggested this, but anyways)... how about a look into Z & F's past, before coming to Earth?

Zorphbert & Fred is the perfect syndicated newspaper comic strip. The art is commercial level and that is attributed to Griffith's graphic artist education. I am going to break down my thoughts into three sections:

Premise:

The single most important part of a comic is the premise, even more so than the writing, because without a good premise, the writing is hampered. The premise for Z&F sounds great on the face of it, but as a premise for 365 comics a year for however many years it would run in syndication (the stated goal of the creator), it is suffocating. This is not to say that the idea is not something that can be expanded, it is just that the aliens in the dog suits studying two humans in a house can only go so far. They are kind of like anthropologists in dog suits, and I take anthropology classes so I can attest to the dryness of the subject matter. Ultimately, this can be modified and open new possibilities for Our Heroes, but as of yet, it is still in the experimental stage. My advice would be to take them out of the house and into other settings, different sides of humanity, and also define the reason for the mission, that would aid greatly in having an underlying foundation with which to build running jokes. By outside of the house, I don't mean to the neighborhood grocery store or a park, I mean like to a sporting event, or maybe a texas/mexico bordertown bar, or even Broadway.

Writing:

This is where I believe Griffith has the highest potential to improve. She is doing a comic that is grueling to put together and part of that is simply the writing, keeping the comic fresh, keeping the ideas zippy and not derivative. Now, I admit that I am a bit of a cartoon snob in how I am jaded to things. I can look at the entire comics page and have zero reaction. Most people are not as demanding in that department as I am. This is all well and good. But if the strip is to excel past the pack, it needs good hard punchline a day jokes, things that can make you fall out of your chair laughing, not the sort of thing that you go, ha, that's cute. I'm talking about not using humor like Gallagher jokes "Driving on parkways, parking on driveways" which are about as funny as a slap in the face. I'm also calling out the Fox News comic as not being funny and more of a wink wink to the left-leaning crowd, which is a cardinal comic strip sin. Appeal to the widest audience possible, not just those that you like politically. The strip is not inherently political and slipping that in can really turn off someone that had been digging it before. My advice is like what Bill Watterson used to do. Sit on the porch with coffee, a yellow notepad, pencil and just write what YOU think is really funny. Learn about your characters, know them as if you spend every moment talking with them. If you can speak in Fred's voice and think about what Fred would say when Zorphbert says something, then you are almost there. Make sure that these characters are dynamic and that they are funny in and of themselves.

Like when I write, I know that my character Vindibudd is a selfish jerk most of the time and that General Safety has a soft spot for cute things like puppies. So when Safety goes, Let's get puppies! and Vindibudd says Let's EAT PUPPIES, well I know that I can get a funny reaction out of Safety. Mainly because I treat them as if they are real personalities.

Art:

Incredible draftsmanship in play here. I have nits to pick about the costumes, because they look not unlike straight-jackets with the way they fit and the zippers really throw me by how no one for the most part can tell that these things are obviously not dogs. Making the characters look just like dogs without the get-ups may make the comic work even better, it would be less distracting for me anyway.

Overall, Z&F is an accomplished work by an accomplished creator but has huge amounts of room to improve. 3/5

ZORPHBERT & FRED REVIEW
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I pretty much agree with what's already been said, I don't have that much to add so I'll just try to be honest and share my view.

ZORPHBERT & FRED: 2 Aliens. Disguised as dogs. Here to study human life. It's some funny sh*t.
The header gives a pretty good idea of what you'll find here. It has the typical comic strip format that you'll find in the newspaper. The art is pretty good, very consistent and distinct. It's grayscale with the occasional color page. This is professional level stuff. The writing, in my honest opinion, is the limiting factor. Don't get me wrong, the writing is very good, you'll find some great lines and the characters are very funny and have distinct personalities (classic smart & dumb duo), but sometimes you'll leave with this odd feeling like: Man, this could have been the shit! but it feels kind of censored... It's like the author is concerned with what the audience will think of the comic and come up with a watered down joke instead of what she truly thinks Zorphbert & Fred would say. Of course, I could be totally wrong, but myself as an adult comic reader, would love to see Z&F with a sharper edge to them!

Small gripes aside, Z&F is an astounding strip, definitely one of the best of it's kind on DrunkDuck.


PROS and CONS
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PROS:
- Updates Monday, Wednesday & Friday.
- Professional level art.
- Contests!

CONS:
- Could be even funnier

SCORE/FINAL WORDS
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4.3/5

Very recommendable comic for all audiences. It gets a solid 4.3 because it can (and sure will) get 0.7 points even better!

Oh! and dgriff13 (the author) makes frequent contests were "we", as readers, get to decide what the characters say. This is a huge plus!

*edit* bumped up the score!

THANK YOU Vindibudd & FAL, your reviews were in-depth and critically fair, I appreciate the effort you put into it. I agree that I should spruce up the writing, and Vindibudd gave great suggestions on just HOW to do that, just by taking Z&F out of backyard suburbia. I'm coming up with a field trip storyline already! (God, could you imagine them in a Mexico/Texas bar scene? LOL!)

This comic is relatively new... "born" maybe 6-7 months ago after I retired my old comic "Leftovers" that I had worked on for over 10 years. I tried to figure out just how to iron out all the details in Z&F, but I've heard it's best to just WRITE, write, write (and draw, draw, draw), and the details and storylines will come. So, I'm in that mode now.

Thanks again, I'm always open to hear more suggestions!

I like Z+F. Dawn has a fresh and easy style that is very appealing. She also has a terrific sense of color and balance throughout the page as well as excellent control of line and shading. The characters are distinct and clear, remaining consistent throughout many different strips.

Having tried my hand for four years at getting a strip picked up by the syndicates, I will say that the writing is absolutely key. If a strip is going to be printed in a newspaper, the average panel will be about the size of a postage stamp. That means you need to be very clear, very brief and to the point. The writing has to be snappy, funny and interesting. It can't be confusing or too wordy, and cliches are frowned upon. Hard indeed.

A perfect example of a comic that achieved the balance of simplicity, complexity and visual appeal was Calvin & Hobbes. Bill Watterson spent most of his time writing, rewarding himself with drawing when he'd worked up a week's worth of strips. He didn't learn this on his own, though... his editor at United Feature Syndicate, Lee Salem, was key in getting him to develop a set of characters and a drawing style that would wear well over time.

Dawn, you're on your way. Writing comics is very hard, and daily gag strips are the hardest of the hard. You might want to read some of the essays about Watterson, Walt Kelly and Charles Schulz that are available online to see how the masters approached the situation. I can also recommend a book called The Cartoonist's Muse that outlines some very useful techniques for generating hilarious gags.

carrollhach
I like Z+F. Dawn has a fresh and easy style that is very appealing. She also has a terrific sense of color and balance throughout the page as well as excellent control of line and shading. The characters are distinct and clear, remaining consistent throughout many different strips.

Having tried my hand for four years at getting a strip picked up by the syndicates, I will say that the writing is absolutely key. If a strip is going to be printed in a newspaper, the average panel will be about the size of a postage stamp. That means you need to be very clear, very brief and to the point. The writing has to be snappy, funny and interesting. It can't be confusing or too wordy, and cliches are frowned upon. Hard indeed.

A perfect example of a comic that achieved the balance of simplicity, complexity and visual appeal was Calvin & Hobbes. Bill Watterson spent most of his time writing, rewarding himself with drawing when he'd worked up a week's worth of strips. He didn't learn this on his own, though... his editor at United Feature Syndicate, Lee Salem, was key in getting him to develop a set of characters and a drawing style that would wear well over time.

Dawn, you're on your way. Writing comics is very hard, and daily gag strips are the hardest of the hard. You might want to read some of the essays about Watterson, Walt Kelly and Charles Schulz that are available online to see how the masters approached the situation. I can also recommend a book called The Cartoonist's Muse that outlines some very useful techniques for generating hilarious gags.

WOW! What helpful and wonderful advice, carrollhach (who draws a comic called "Clench and Cheese" which I just did a remix of, ha ha). I idolize Watterson and his artistic and writing abilities... oh, to have even a spec of his talent! He, along with other cartoonists of course, has always been inspiration. And I know it took him along time before he got a contract, too.. so I try not to get too worried.

I need to work on my writing. Others have suggested to just sit and write in a notebook. I've never done that, funny ideas have just come to me, and more come when I'm writing a whole story arc. I just sit and think, hear the characters' voices, what they'd say, how they'd react, etc... but I should try to just fill out a notebook like I'm writing a story, not a 4-panel comic. Do you think taking creative writing classes would help at all, or is that too unrelated to exactly what I'm doing?

Like I've read over and over, the concept, humor and writing will always beat out great art. Decent art with excellent writing will get a contract before excellent art with mediocre writing will. And I think I'm just mediocre right now. Watterson was a writer who learned how to draw. I'm the opposite.

I'm looking up that book as we speak, thanks for the suggestion! I've read up so much about those key cartoonists, but I'll see what else is out there!

Bah, United Features (United Media now) send me a rejection letter so fast, I cried a little. maybe they just have absolutely no more room... that's what I'm going on, anyway.

Hey Dawn!

Sorry it took so long for me to reply. :(

Anyway, as you know I'm a big fan of Z&F. As always, your art is top notch. For the writing, the gags are good, but I think the you should focus more on the 'studying humans' aspect. Right now it's more like they're studying how dogs live than humans, and that's been done by all the strips out there with dogs in it. :D

The characters' observations on you Christmas card were hysterical! If you do more of those types of observations in the strip you can put the chracters in any situation. Z&F should be your voice on what you find odd about human behavior.

Also, I personally would drop the human couple and have Z&F live with the weird kid. The couple's just there, but the kid has more comic possibilities. First, he's funny himself, but he'd be funnier as a guide to Z&F, like the blind leading blind. Plus, you could have him turning to Z&F for advice as his only friends. Like the kid could have a crush and Fred could explain how they attrack mates on their planet. Plus, he could by default explain why no one is disturbed by Z&F's appearance ("Yeah, they look like the kind of dogs THAT kid would have").

Anyway, those are my suggestions. I love the strip! :) It just needs a little 'oomph!' to get it to that next level you were talking about.

If you ever want to talk anything through or bounce some ideas around, hit me up on my myspace page.

Later!
-Ed

heya Ed! Thanks for the review, some good ideas. I agree about having the aliens study the human race more... more insight about humans and how ridiculous we are. With this comic I have 3 opportunities for jokes: dog/pet jokes, alien jokes, and human jokes. I've leaned on option #1 way too much.

Not so sure I agree about axing the couple just yet. Maybe. I want Z&F to be able to observe humans who react to them as dogs, thus resulting in REAL human observation. The weird kid isn't a realistic specimen for the aliens to study, as he knows their true form. I added him in so the aliens can communicate with at least 1 human. But he does offer good comedy roles and interesting situations. Maybe I could keep the couple, make them a bit older.. and the weird kid is their son (as some readers actually thought, anyway). That way you get the best of both worlds.
Anyone else have an opinion on this suggestion?

Anyway, the weird kid should kidnap them for his little excavations a lot more. I'm thinking "Show and Tell" next!

Ed, have you read any of the recent strips? I added a transporter to the comic, built into their doghouse... which can warp them anywhere. Opens up the comic's world a lot more. What do you think of that addition?

Thanks again, you're the best!

Yeah, y'know right after I wrote you I thought the kid would be too much if he was a regular. Maybe he could be their nephew so he has an excuse for dropping by when he does.

Still though I think they need to make some actual observations about the couple, as well as the world around them. I had fun with you guys at the restaurant that day riffing on things like 'Salty the Psalm book' or whatever it was called :D, so I think you'd have a lot of funny observations on things like work and relationships and the general hypocritcies and compromises of life that you could pepper into the strip along with the wacky adventures.

And yeah, I drop every 2 weeks or so to see if you have any new stuff posted. I love the teleporter! That was a sweet add!