I'm leaning between suave and debonair.

Choices.

http://warofwinds.spiderforest.com/

WHAT?! 3 reviews in a day?! Geez, this is unprecedented.

Okay, so at first glance I see this is on spiderforest. That obviously means it's something, as only good comics which go through a screening process get on there. With my hopes up, I will go on to read it.

Geezus christ this is text heavy. I understand you're trying to create an epic story, but sometimes it works better to draw the reader in with LESS text then more, or more spread out text.

Alrigtht, I can deal with text if it's heavy if it at least TRIES to be readable, but seriously, was THIS really necessary?

In fact from that point on things just keep going on with the tiny letters and the hard to discern actions helped along by the text. I'm going to see wheather I can still figure out what's going on from the pictures alone and skip through these walls of words for a little while.

Okay, so my final verdict? You have some really nice art currently, but your art back in the first chapter is lacking, and what's happening isn't clear. Comics should rely on a balance between visual art and words. You rely WAY too much on the word-portion. This is a major weakness. Pleanty of comics are text heavy, Death Note for example, but they keep the reader interested through interesting camera angles and a spacing out of the text. Trying to tell the story all with text, aided by pictures makes this more of a picture book and less of a comic.

Basically what I'm saying here is LESS WORDS AND MORE PICTURES.

But yeah, your art skills are good. You should rely on THEM more often. Actions speak louder than words. :wink:

I could see why some people would read this quite regularly. It's got some decent art... but for me it's so freaking BORING. Yes, actions do in fact speak louder than words. But for the most part it's just another fantasy comic. (Yes I know that "just another" is a phrase I use far too liberally, but hey I'm being honest here, peeps)



Three out of five spoons.

This comic has decent artwork and I like the coloring style which makes it more distinct from other fantasy comics. But I don't think it is all that exciting to read about. As said before, its just another fantasy comic. But this one just has flashy color.

Urg, damn, I was hoping to get a new page up before this review went up. Review section is moving teh fast these days :) Anyways, I would just ask a little leniency on the beginning comics, because like most comic-noobs who just start out, they are fated to be really bad. Every May and December (finals months ><) I redo past pages that are really bad, but I haven't gotten past page 8 or so in the beginning. That really text heavy page mentioned above is definitely on "the" list. Other than that, feedback is something I'm re-e-eally in the need for, so whatever you guys are thinking, even if it's just a sentence, please post.

EDIT: Oh! Forgot to say! You can start from waaay back if you want here:
http://warofwinds.spiderforest.com/?comic_id=0

But for a simpler, shorter review, you can start here and not lose much:
http://warofwinds.spiderforest.com/?comic_id=85

I completly understand the whole "ignore the begining, I was still learning sentiment." The comic is still a little ponderous to read, but it's starting to balance out and flow more. emphasising dialouge and trying to resrtict narration to where it is realy needed will probably help more with the flow.

The drawing itself is incredible, but some of the movements are still a bit stiff, so fights are hard to follow. This has gotten better over time, but still has some room to improve.

Your comic has alot of elements often found in fantasy, but they're put together in such a way that the comic as a whole comes out feeling new and engaging.

overall, nice. I'm definitly bookmarking to see where this ends up.

Hm.
At first light, I reckon it's a decent comic.

I'm most impressed with the artist's ability to make backgrounds. They're even convincing backgrounds, which is irregular and awesome!

I'm a big stickler about color because I feel that if it can't be done right, one should learn black and white first. Here... the color seems awkward on almost every page- as though one is trying to represent every color of the spectrum. I think more subdued palattes could go a long way here. There is such a wide variety of mood and action that colors could enhance that if used properly.

I also agree that it is very text heavy, and more often than not, the text style doesn't fit with the imagery which makes it hard to read and makes the overall comic look less unified. I suggest finding a better font and using less colors/ electric shadowing.

Lastly... This comic is very very stiff. All the characters are drawn fairly geometrically to begin with, which is a stylistic choice, but there is no flow to their movements. The reasoning behind this might be the thick black line used- but I feel it has more to do with the subjects themselves and the way they are drawn. Their poise is somehow unreal... but not quite sure how that would be reconciled.

The story is interesting, and I'm glad it was written. It is detailed and a deviation from the other stories one is more prone to see out there.

I think this is one of the better comics I have come across. That said I have a number of things that I would consider if I was making this comic. I see potential in this comic and thus I put down this effort in hope that the artist take some of my comments to heart. I apologize if I am repeating what others already have written.

Art:

1. The layout of the pages need much more thought as the flow of the panels often are confusing to the reader. It is not only a matter of gutters, but the overall clearity. This is becomming even more important as more and more comics are "mangafied" and read in a different order. I had problems when I started reading the comic to decide if it was left or right reading direction. Gutters could help, but even on the pages where there was gutters the artist makes the mistake of placing a later panel higher than the panel before it. Panels places higher up on the page takes precedent over panels that are placed lower, even if those panels are placed to the left. This creates confusion as you need to re-read the page several times to figure out the order of the panels. This leads to:

2. The action is all in slow-motion. There are not much action going on, but when there are it is slowed down by a number of factors: The huge amount of text you have to read are the biggest problem, but again the confusion in the panels affect it negatively. The whole illustrated book look doesn't lend itself to action really. The artist uses in general some angles and perspective but tend to not use interesting angles when the action starts. The comic would benefit from more filmlike camera angles with extreme closeups and more interesting framing.

3. While I am impressed with the effort put into the coloring I agree with missmarie that the comic would benefit from some restrain in the palette and I personally was annoyed with the shading - especially with the blue shadows under the characters that looked like it was glowing. Maybe it is intentional, but they do not look like shadows at all. The color is too intense or saturated in general.

4. Text should be placed in some form of containers and the number of fonts should be limited. The use of glowing effects and shading should be limited to special fx and sound fx.

Story:
1. The setting are very stereotypical fantasy at first glance, but it has more substenance than I first assumed. I did get the impression of a well thought out world, after a while. I see it as a problem with the Fantasy genre in general than a problem with the comic.

2. I like the way the story is not too obvious, but leaves hints about the state of affairs instead of just blurt it out.

3. The characterisation is OK, but I think the theif character is just too flat. He is just a generic theif to me.

I have not read all of the comic so I will stop here. I will however keep on reading it.

I don't have time for a full review, but just gotta say that this comic's text heavyness was a HUGE turnoff for me. Is this supposed to be a comic or a book? Honestly, some of the things you take 10 paragraphs to explain could be conveyed through five panels of actual character action or thought. You don't need to explain that the sun softly filtered over the mountains when you've already drawn it. But yeah, I honestly could not bring myself to seriously read past page ten or so, then I just started skimming.

That and the action scenes are very bad. You really need to draw stronger gestures to have a convincing action scene, and that "no panels" thing your doing is kind weird on the visual flow.

The coloring is pretty nice however. Backgrounds too.

SPECIAL BONUS: Terroquita used his first post to write a review! Awesome!

Sorry to bump this up again, but I have a couple questions^^

Eggbert
That and the action scenes are very bad. You really need to draw stronger gestures to have a convincing action scene, and that "no panels" thing your doing is kind weird on the visual flow

also

Terroquita
. I had problems when I started reading the comic to decide if it was left or right reading direction. Gutters could help, but even on the pages where there was gutters the artist makes the mistake of placing a later panel higher than the panel before it.

Is this for current comics too (the action)? I am uh, painfully aware of how the older comics are very blocky, but this is one thing that I definitely been paying attention to in the current chapers.
I'm also trying overlapping panels rather than the basic layouts, just because I personally find it more visually appealing (like a third dimension or something on a 2D surface). I've really come to dislike panels stuck up against one another, so this is my newest experiment, making use of negative space.

Terroquita
The action is all in slow-motion. There are not much action going on, but when there are it is slowed down by a number of factors: The huge amount of text you have to read are the biggest problem, but again the confusion in the panels affect it negatively. The whole illustrated book look doesn't lend itself to action really. The artist uses in general some angles and perspective but tend to not use interesting angles when the action starts. The comic would benefit from more filmlike camera angles with extreme closeups and more interesting framing.

Again, current comics, old comics, or both? Feedback is indeed, so very nice XD. I probably ought to invest in some sort of art class while here in college, though there is never enough time for the good ones with various science labs thrown in there ><

Okay! Nother big issue! The color! Is my use of saturated colors annoying? Lately, everything has been at night and therefore has been quite dark, so I've had to find ways to get the people and such to be bright to see. I've ended up just using a bright blue at a low opacity on top of the normal shadows so everything doesn't just blend together. If it is annoying, what other ways are there to do this? Should I be using a different color? Anyone have more advice, especially on this issue?

Terroquita
3. The characterisation is OK, but I think the theif character is just too flat. He is just a generic theif to me.

This is intentional. I'm making fun (in my own very odd only I would notice way) of the whole thief genre. Talon is in fact, a very terrible thief. More on that will be in the story later. He just likes to think he's cool, as most people who regularly break laws do :D

missmarie
Words are fine, but I would also recommend putting them in boxes so they're easier to follow, then give the background a light color so the reader is able to tell it's narration. Also, you probably shouldn't change fonts for each page or for every mood, because it's distracting and confusing.

Again, current pages? There was this whole "phase" I went through where I couldn't decide on a font. I must have switched between 6 fonts before I landed on one bold enough and compact enough to keep. Since then (about 30 pages ago), I haven't changed it, excepting the current page, which was done for effect. Could you explain what you mean more?

iagojester
Lastly... This comic is very very stiff. All the characters are drawn fairly geometrically to begin with, which is a stylistic choice, but there is no flow to their movements. The reasoning behind this might be the thick black line used- but I feel it has more to do with the subjects themselves and the way they are drawn. Their poise is somehow unreal... but not quite sure how that would be reconciled.

Ooo yes, I need help with this. You and I both have no idea how to fix this. Unfortunately, as mentioned above, I have no time as a pre-med major to take art classes for the human form or such. Anyone have any advice? Know any good books for this? Things you've done?

Uh..this is getting too long. Gonna stop here.

Barb, you are a wonderful person. Thank you for offering advice along with your crit. INCREDIBLY helpful. *gives meaningful looks to everyone else*

Now, if only I can find people I can watch and draw without them thinking I'm a pervert or something...XD

I checked back up on this, and I notice you're STILL using text where it DOESN'T NEED TO BE. We don't need to know that "Talon took a chance and suddenly crouched, going for Ravar's legs" because the art tells us that!

You're over-reinforcing the actions of the characters. Why?

'Cause if I took it out, there's an inconsistency in flow from the third panel to the last panel, and -someone- would ask what and why. It's happened before. I make a graphic novel, not a comic, and since the narration has decreased 90% relative to what it was, I'm happy with that. Most people don't even read the narrative until after glancing through the comic, so it doesn't "over-reinforce;" it simply reinforces what the character is doing. Had I taken it out, what would the reader think? "Talon's down, why? Did he fall? Was it a purposeful move? An accident? A slip-up?" I know my art doesn't get across the movement I want, so I add a single sentence of narrative. Big deal.


Apologies should that have come across with attitude. I've had a very bad day today. Thanks for the bump, Wade.

Wow... this comic is well done.

Artwork: It's awesome. I can't complain about the artwork.

Layout: This is the only thing I have to complain about. The meaning of a comic is to have more pictures and action then words. You took away that purpose, and turned it into a book with pictures. I enjoy comics because I don't like reading, but I love artwork. My way of reading comics is looking through the pages quickly, enjoying the artwork and the text at the same time. With you comic, It took me three minutes to read each page because of so much text. I completely gave up on it after the first 10 comics. It didn't have much entertainment value.

Please! Less words! If you fixed it up, it would be awesome!

Less words...have you read up to the current? There's not much I can do about pages already drawn. As stated previously, narration has been severely cut down in the recent chapters.

Thanks for the comments about the art. It's good to know that the effort is appreciated.

Also, I am a huge fan of the comic Prince Valiant. I LIKE wordy comics, so long as the narration is done tastefully--which I try. I admit, most "comics" are not meant to have so much words. But mine is an adapted novel, and I'm an amateur. Basically, I'm working on it.