Woop woop!

http://www.drunkduck.com/The_Pirate_Terminators/

Hopefully the "Say something nice about the person above your's comic" thread hasn't made me too rusty.


Story: I'm a huge fan of the show Panyo Panyo Di-Gi-Charat, and this series reminds me a great deal of the series. You can tell that the story is meant to be zany and random and, while a plot does exist, it doesn't seem very clear or important, just the kind of thing a zany comic needs. The gags are cute for the most part, and the adult gags are kept light and tame (Except for that last one...) The story isn't the most lucid in the world, but you can tell that it doesn't really need to be. My only issue on the writing is how there doesn't seem to be as much emphasis on what might otherwise be serious moments, we get too caught up in laughter to take it seriously.

Construction: The art is nice and cute and the text-bubbles are well-assembled without the run-on letters that I loathe so much. The colored panels are well done as far as colors go. I do have a few issues with the design choices, though. Completely changing the character's images made me confused and the new design makes them harder to tell apart, especially since their old forms were in color but their new forms are in black-and-white. Whether this was from an artist swap or not I can't really tell, but I don't like it. Also, it seems like these characters are supposed to be voluptuous adults in their real form? You put them in chibi-form so much that the adult forms are a bit confusing and seem out of place. I noticed no problems with panel and text-bubble layout, so it was nice and easy to read.

I'd rate this comic as excessively cute and funny, but not really one for someone who is into serious comics. Invader Zim and Di-Gi-Charat fans will feel right at home.

I read page after page of this one, and really looked at the art. My impressions changed as I went on.

Art- initially, I thought "Wow, really cute stuff." In particular, backgrounds and shadow/shading in the characters themselves were all great. The art remained consistent throughout, but started to lose me. I went back and forth trying to figure out why, and it finally hit me- too much, surrounded by too little. The characters are ALL artistically voluptuous, filled to bursting with color, size, eyes, hair, etc. At first it is a visual delight. Soon, though, the lack of variation becomes a distraction. Additionally, the pictures are so big, not just in size but in color, degree, exageration, that they crowd out the story. Clearly the artists has talent, and should be applauded. But rather than beating me over the head with the talent, tantalize me with it, use it to move the story, vary it enough to make the characters REALLY different from each other, instead of the same thing with different colors.

Story- I just could not follow it. It's probably a style thing, but it seemed to be striving for cute rather than creating a story or moving it along. My sense, and I'm probably wrong, is that there is no developed story or even story outline, but an ad hoc 'let's see where this one's going with the drawing' sort of attitude.

Conclusion- Terrific artist, but not yet a terrific cartoonist. Once she starts using the talent to tell a story (that she has already thought about), instead of banging on us with pictures, she will turn promise into something great.

I've noticed that a lot of people seem to be deleting their archives off the face of DD. First H-Wing, then Barely Dead, and now Impulse 101! What's going on here?

Anyway, this comic makes my brain hurt.

Art:
Unbearably cutesy. Large heads, bulging eyes, and to top it all off, everyone's an anthro... I think. Frankly, it's damn near impossible to tell what's going on where, and it only gets worse when the comic transitions to black and white, where a reader can't rely on colors to distinguish objects. However, it gets slightly better when the comic reverts to color. The art isn't inherently bad, however, you REALLY need to work on panel flow. Slow down, and try to show in a bit more detail what the hell is happening. (3.5/5)

Writing:
"... What the hell?"
This was my typical reaction to just about everything that was going on. Starting the story off with a shapeshifting story arc REALLY does not help any comprehend the situation at hand. The plot moves at a breakneck pace, with no time for fleshing out characters, explaining relationships or objects, or even showing what the fuck is going on. The characters seem... well, frankly, I know absolutely nothing about them, as they are rarely if ever fleshed out- and if they are, I can scarcely tell one person from another, making the point moot. I would recommend slowing the hell down, and stop trying to tell a story a a breakneck pace- take it slow, flesh out characters, and let the comic flow from one panel to the next. (2/5)

Overall:

This comic is confusing as hell. Characters are thrown into the story without any sort of introduction, plots run themselves through at warp speed, and there seems to be little continuity from one arc to the next. Slow down, take your time, and work on making sense. But otherwise, it's a decent comic, and people here seem to enjoy it. (3/5)

Also, what the heck is the Rainbow Cantamelon? For something that seems to be the crew's ultimate goal, you'd think a reader would know why anyone would bother looking for it.

Thanks for all your reviews so far! In keeping with tradition, my reactions to the criticism I've received:

Kohdok
Story: I'm a huge fan of the show Panyo Panyo Di-Gi-Charat, and this series reminds me a great deal of the series.

I suppose the fact that you not only spotted the series, but even pinpointed the exact version of the series is testament to the fact that, yes, I've taken inspiration from Panyo Panyo, and in fact, the DiGi Charat series in general.

Kohdok
My only issue on the writing is how there doesn't seem to be as much emphasis on what might otherwise be serious moments, we get too caught up in laughter to take it seriously.

Next episode is going to have a lot more "serious" moments, so hopefully it'll give me a chance to flex my storytelling muscle.

Kohdok
I do have a few issues with the design choices, though. Completely changing the character's images made me confused and the new design makes them harder to tell apart, especially since their old forms were in color but their new forms are in black-and-white. Whether this was from an artist swap or not I can't really tell, but I don't like it.

This seems to be the most common problem listed in all three reviews so far - guess I need to work out their designs a bit more! Also, an explanation is definitely in order for the design changes.

The comic actually had a pretty rough start. It was meant to just be an anime/chibi-style knockoff of a comic book I already started, HapoVille, but it started developing a life of its own. The farther it broke off from the series, the more I felt that it was its own series that wasn't complete enough to be put out yet. The character redesigns are a result of that, which is something I kinda regret since having changed them so much is creating more confusion than should be necessary. I may have to consider moving Transformation to a different archive to prevent confusion, but as for the characters as they are now, I'll have to put an effort into changing them enough to where it can just be considered a change of clothes or whatever.

Kohdok
I'd rate this comic as excessively cute and funny, but not really one for someone who is into serious comics. Invader Zim and Di-Gi-Charat fans will feel right at home.

I just found this quote particularly interesting because I don't generally think of Invader Zim when I think of PT.

Hijuda
The art isn't inherently bad, however, you REALLY need to work on panel flow. Slow down, and try to show in a bit more detail what the hell is happening.

dhonig
Additionally, the pictures are so big, not just in size but in color, degree, exageration, that they crowd out the story. Clearly the artists has talent, and should be applauded. But rather than beating me over the head with the talent, tantalize me with it, use it to move the story, vary it enough to make the characters REALLY different from each other, instead of the same thing with different colors.

Another notable criticism. Up until the Love is Scary episode I was actually limiting myself to 12 pages an episode, but the story in Royal Rolls was so compressed and crammed together that I decided to stop using standardized episode sizes. I suppose the next step is shrinking down the panels, and giving the story a bit more "breathing room". (I know there's a lot more to improving the story flow than that, but just as a general example.)

dhonig
My sense, and I'm probably wrong, is that there is no developed story or even story outline, but an ad hoc 'let's see where this one's going with the drawing' sort of attitude.

There actually is an underlying plot here, but when writing each story I try to stop and smell the flowers (Perhaps, based on my criticism, I should have employed this tactic to the story's flow as well...). That is to say, I don't want every episode to be go into abandoned place > fight monster > find out the Rainbow Cantamelon isn't there. Perhaps, though, I whiffed the greenery a bit too early? You actually can see hints of the overlying theme in The Treasure Box and Royal Rolls, and the one in Love is Scary more or less kinda branches out into the next one, The Raisin Sentai, but perhaps they're a bit too subtle.

Hijuda
Also, what the heck is the Rainbow Cantamelon? For something that seems to be the crew's ultimate goal, you'd think a reader would know why anyone would bother looking for it.

Something I admittedly skimped on. Actually, even the crew doesn't really know what it is, except for Genesis, who just keeps saying it's the "ultimate treasure". I'll have to explain that and a few other loose ends next episode.

So again, thanks for the feedback, and keep those reviews coming!

Congratulations to Hapappo for really taking the reviews to heart- I hope I have the intestinal fortitude to do so when my turn comes around. The art, as I said before, is really good, and everything will come together.

Hapoppo

Kohdok
Story: I'm a huge fan of the show Panyo Panyo Di-Gi-Charat, and this series reminds me a great deal of the series.

I suppose the fact that you not only spotted the series, but even pinpointed the exact version of the series is testament to the fact that, yes, I've taken inspiration from Panyo Panyo, and in fact, the DiGi Charat series in general.

Hey, man, Puchiko FTW!!

I guess it's also a testament to how obscure my knowledge is. That last comparison of the old-style crew and new-style crew really tipped me off as to which series it was based on. The more childish, exotic, and random nature told me it was Panyo-Panyo all the way. Heck, so did the fact that they had a pirate series in Panyo Panyo, and that little series is my personal favorite of the whole show!

Hijuda
I've noticed that a lot of people seem to be deleting their archives off the face of DD. First H-Wing, then Barely Dead, and now Impulse 101! What's going on here?

Really? Wow... Now that makes me wonder what'll happen when mine rolls around. Then again, I've learned how to prepare myself for a verbal beating...

Kohdok
Really? Wow... Now that makes me wonder what'll happen when mine rolls around. Then again, I've learned how to prepare myself for a verbal beating...

I need to prepare for one, too. After some of the reviews I've given, I wouldn't be surprised if people were waiting with bated breath and sharpened swords to shred my comic into a million pieces. I can certainly imagine Wes lurking in the shadows, waiting to strike.

TITLE: The Pirate Terminators

FIRST IMPRESSION: Lots of bright colors and a cute chibi style of art (which I am a huge fan of) but the first page worried me, because the dialogue was hand-written.

STORY SO FAR: I love it! The characters sell the comedy and are very likeable (despite many seemingly being thrown in randomly). It is very fun, like a show on 4kids tv or the fox box.

ART: Very cute. I love your style, and the backgrounds are done well and very detailed.

DIALOGUE: Thankfully, after the first page, it was typed. Most of the time it was easy to understand, and emphasized how cute the characters really are.

SPEECH BALLOONS: Well place. And the space between the words and the balloon's outline did exist.

LAYOUT: The pannels flowed well, as far as I can see, and it was easy to follow.

COLOUR/TONING: Bright colours really work to accent the cartoony feel of the comic. Shading was done well. The colours are one of the hilights of this comic, so I was sad when you switched to black and white for that chunk of the comic.

OTHER NOTES: I really struggled to find things wrong with this one. This is what I came up with: when you were trying to be serious, the cutesy style of art and storytelling made it difficult to take you seriously. And what is the Rainbow Cantamelon? If there was anything else, I was to blinded by cuteness to realize it. This story now holds a place on my favorites list.