http://www.drunkduck.com/The_Graveyard_Shift/index.php

Alright, lets see here.

This comic started out as a gag comic and most of the comics in the archive are gag comic. However in the last few strips there's actually a plot starting to form. The art seems better in the later strips. Not a huge amount better, but still and improvement. However your characters arms look kind of weird, and the heads are way to big for the bodies.

Also those patterns in the backgrounds are a bit bright and hurt my eyes a bit.

The humor is kinda hit or mis. The characters aren't very well developed. We learn about them as we go, but with all the slapstick going on here clear personalities haven't emerged. Also that ghost was introduced kind of suddenly. The flow of this comic was kind of messed up by that. Especially when she introduced the whole 'fighting paranormal things' plot. That sounds like it could be funny, as long as you don't make this comic serious.

Hopefully that helps. I kind of like the comic, but it needs a lot more in the way of character personalities and volume of pages to be really good.

My first review. Let's do this thang.


ART: It's a unique and individual drawing style, so thumbs up on that. They seems stiff to me sometimes. Not sure why. The backgrounds are also a bit funky . 'The walls are melting' kind of funky. The over the top expressions are a great touch. You have your on and off days. You also need to improve on your hands.

Grade: A-


Story/writing: Well, it starts with the random skits and scats (?) of their lives. I do get the jokes but I didn't laugh. My inner child chuckled though, which is good. Then we have a story arc. I did not see that coming. It was like, you're watching television and then BAM! Bill Cosby jumps out through a chair and rips out your hair. I just didn't see it coming. It looks interesting though, I could see a 'ghost-busters' thing comig. You need to improve on your humour.

Grade: B


Overall: It's a decent comic, I'll give you that. The art is quite good and your story is going along quite nicely. You just need to work on the funnys.

Overall grade: B+


Where did Robot Chuck and Ozone go? I miss them!

This is my first time reviewing, so bare with me while I give this a shot.

Art: Simple answer, overall it works, it does what it needs to, it's clean and I don't spend time trying to figure out what things are suppose to be. The characters stand out very well as unique person, even at a glance. That's a plus for me, too often I see strips where I confuse characters.

Longer answer, while it does it's job, the art doesn't do MORE than it could. backgrounds are a little lacking at times, and some of the flood fills can get sloppy. It feels like you're trying to work into finding wahwt works best for getting comics done weekly still. That's cool.

Writing: I read the whole archive, and I got a feeling of disjointedness from it. The single panel comics were the most lacking to me, sort of I can see how it's trying to be funny, but just didn't do it for me. http://www.drunkduck.com/The_Graveyard_Shift/index.php?p=29192 that one got a laugh out of me, the more story that went on the more cohesive the gag felt. You have a good set up, but you're not playing on it enough.


Overall, I'm going to go B. I wasn't horribly offended by the level of art, and the writing shows some potential. Slow down on both, and think over the jokes a bit more, and take the time to polish the art a little more.

Not a bad little comic. It's in its early stages, and it shows, but I think there's some potential for goodness here.

I have to agree with some of the earlier comments. The art is mostly adequate, if not entirely consistent. The characters are stiff, especially during action sequences, and their designs don't stand out much, but they get the job done.

A lot of people were praising the backgrounds. I'm afraid I can't agree. I think they tend to get away from you and add a distracting amount of color. Here's a case in point . Just the floral wallpaper alone would be painful. Combined with the squares in the first panel, and the wood grain? Ow!

Color theory is not easy, but you really need to start studying it if you're going to draw color pieces. You'll see a huge improvement once you get the basics down.

The writing is not bad, but there's some real trouble with timing and storytelling, especially once the plot starts to kick in. Let me try to construct a timeline real fast:

-Edith comes out of the fridge (a good strip, btw).
-The action is stopped for Edith's introduction.
-Li unleashes the fridge monster (which, I keep thinking is having its tentacles sliced off by the fridge).
-Edith yells "Put my grandaughter down!" and holds a threatening green ball of energy. There's no visual evidence Li was ever actually grabbed. The live people are shocked; the monster/fridge hybrid looks like the head of an evil toothbrush.
-Evidently, somewhere in between strips, JD kissed the ghost lady.
-Li is pissed and confused
-Another break in the action to celebrate a birthday
-Ghostly exposition, followed by a belated reminder that, evidently, a tentacle monster is attacking.

This is not to say there isn't some amusement in all of this. Comics are a visual medium, though, so if something important (a kiss) happens, then show it. Focus on one thing at a time, and if there has to be exposition, wait until after the action is finished.

The art is definitely improving, and I like that your storytelling is getting more ambitious. I think this strip is still looking for its foundation, though, both in terms of writing and art.

You're making good progress.

I'm really glad you seem to understand where I'm coming from. I was nervous that I'd been too harsh.