Salt The Holly

When the quiet, peaceful lives of a group of friends are interrupted by the influences of an ancient rivalry, everything gets just a bit more dangerous. What starts as a slice-of-life tale leads into a story of intrigue, drama, romance, and violence.

Salt the Holly has a sizable archive, regularly updates, and has managed to stick to the story fairly consistently after the first bumpy pages. My first impression was "Wow, this is one random comic", which is a plus or minus depending only on how the reader views randomness.

Art: Becomes Decent
The faded lineart only pages at the start of the comic do not last long; pages were colored traditionally for a time, then colored on the computer. There is a fairly long period at the computer transition before the coloring smoothes out; before the coloring no longer looks wrong around the lineart.

Two different artist switch off throughout the comic, and even within pages. Surprisingly, even with two different artists and styles, the characters are pretty easily identified and distinguished one from another. (I had a bit of a problem with the blonds, but that's partly because all blonds look alike to me). The art is initially very stiff, with limited angles/expressions. Fortunately the art improves (both of the artists improve, I believe). The most marked improvement is probably in the body positioning, the stiffness is much less than at the start.

Text: Stabilizes
Initially the text was hand lettered and the text bubbles also done by hand. The handwriting was large and perfectly legible. Then the text was typed, and computer drawn text boxes or only pointing lines were used. Compared to the hand lettering time, the lines pointing to the typed text from the person speaking were much worse. The lines were dropped in favor of the textboxes, thankfully.

The author is prone to filling up a panel with text every now and again. And putting a lot of text around that is difficult to tell how to read. The later trait seems to be dying out though.

Content: Quirky but Coherent
They style is a bit disjointed, with very abrupt shifts at the beginning. The abruptness, randomness, and the like have been balanced over the course of the comic to form a coherent plot. Random elements remain. It is by no means a comic that takes itself too seriously, although the happy go lucky adventure story has taken a more serious turn of events in recent pages.

Conclusion
First, let me say that this is not the kind of comic I would normally read. Even so, the comic went from being almost painful to decent. The storyline does not have a lot of down time and keeps moving. For people who like humorous adventure stories with some normal, some crazy characters with love triangles, squares, or whatever, then Salt the Holly could fit the bill.

It is inspirational to see the growth that has taken place since "Salt the Holly" started in October 2007. Initially the drawings were mostly hand draw black and white simple figures. These evolved by adding colored pencil and finally to the current full-colored computer images. Current panels are more than just words and people. They have a fully formed sense of place and the characters are recognizable and consistent. This slice of life story feels personal, but mixes with its fantasy elements nicely. The plot has a nice flow with easy to read text that isn't too wordy.

The good stuff: The current style is bright and easily communicates where the action is and what is happening. Very readable. The images don't make the reader work hard figuring out what is happening. And with style maturity has come a cool clunky (in a good way) panel design.

Picky picky picky: Hand draw (on computer use the pen tool) the thought balloons would fit better with the overall image style. Right now we recognize the characters by skin color and hair style. Experimenting with body size and facial features will more fully engage readers.

Make it even better: Work on foreshadowing. Give us clues on what's going to happen before it does. "Meanwhile back at the ranch" type narration at the beginning of a panel sometimes gives readers crib notes where they are now. Good transitions like the panel where one character asks where's Brio then the following panel shows Brio in bed with the girl add to story sense.

Overall Salt the Holly gets high marks as a nifty long-running comic.

Due to time constraints, I started Salt the Holly around chapter 3. Let me first say this. This reads like a fun little romp throughout. The artists obviously have had fun writing and bringing this story to life, and you can tell that all involved enjoy this comic a lot.

It's an enjoyable little read. It really is. :) However, seeing as how you asked for a review, I *DID* turn my editor/critic on for the next part. So, without further ado...

Artwork

The artwork is making very nice strides. From the very beginning to the current page, there's been a noticeable progression in skill. Some of the poses, especially the action scenes, look like stiff mannequins at times, but that comes with time. A few things I noticed:

http://www.drunkduck.com/Salt_The_Holly/index.php?p=451867
As a suggestion, doing things like "Sneer" or "Wink" or "Laughs" is VERY much a turn-off for me. I've abandoned reading comics that do this too much, as it's very annoying. Again, as I've stressed in a few reviews already, SHOW not TELL. We can *see* that he's making some sort of grimace. Oh, and panel one of the same page makes it look like they're afloat on a large chocolate doughnut. Which made me laugh. :D

Size discrepancy! http://www.drunkduck.com/Salt_The_Holly/index.php?p=473611 If this map really WAS that size when unfurled... it definitely 1) wouldn't be as small as it is in her hands in panel 1 and 2) no WAY would the pirates have not noticed that she had it on her, especially since her clothing isn't exactly the best by way of hiding things. :)

Writing

Sometimes the flow of writing is difficult to follow. There are times where you flip from one thought to the next in a single panel, which can be difficult to piece together. Some of the situations that they wind up in aren't logically believable as well, as indicated below:

http://www.drunkduck.com/Salt_The_Holly/index.php?p=468016
Out of curiosity, why would someone willing enough to attack another ship, steal all of its cargo and potentially kill anyone/everyone on board CARE to bring these prisoners aboard? Logically, the captain shouldn't have ever even bothered to mention that... I would have had her say something nasty to them, like "Enjoy what little time you have left, children" or something to that effect.

http://www.drunkduck.com/Salt_The_Holly/index.php?p=521815 a bit of a plot thing here... when out of all rations of everything, the first thing everyone wouldn't be asking for is food. It'd be WATER. Especially after dehydrating themselves with the alcohol about 8 days earlier, according to the text, and not including the varied wounds, ambient temperature, etc... Under the best of conditions, you have at MAX 9-10 days before you die from dehydration. Under their conditions... probably closer to 5-6. Not to mention severe dehydration leads to hallucinations, etc.. :)

Though this part below struck me as amusing. :P

http://www.drunkduck.com/Salt_The_Holly/index.php?p=558859 LOL! Takes a real man to rip apart a stranger's shirt sleeve when his OWN sleeve would have worked just as well. Matter of fact, his sleeve was already partially ripped from the bullet's passage, would have been EASIER to rip. :p

Overall

Again, it wasn't a bad read at all. The creators obviously are having a lot of fun in crafting this story, and as a vehicle to improve their artwork along the way, it's working quite well indeed. The story needs a bit of a logical eye on it from time to time to ensure that all facets work properly, but it'll be interesting to see how this all works together in another six months to a year.

>Net

*Rolls up sleeves.* This is my first review, but I decided I should give it a go because I did read Salt from the beginning. I love Amanda and Jess loads and want to give them support and pointers (if I can).

Writing
Fun writing overall. There are plenty of visual and dialogue gags. Earlier, it was a bit jarring to get into the sudden changes in tone, but I feel like you integrate the humor and the seriousness more effectively now. I get that Lia is primarily the comic relief, or at least the relief from the dead serious drag produced by Cade and Daisy most of the time. I would like to see more of Lia as a deep character rather than a gag, but I have the feeling that it's coming soon. I like that none of the protagonists are 100% likable. Every one of them has given readers reasons to be aggravated and dislike them. Salt manages to maintain a real life feeling with constant tension (esp. boyfriend-girlfriend-crush bs) among the protagonists even to the point of endangering them with the ninja and pirate fights. In short, I hate all the protagonists (at least at times) and I love that I can hate them and still cheer for them.

It took me some time to figure out what was going on in the beginning, and it seemed to skip around some. I forgot the names of the ninja factions involved many times, and I actually can't remember them now. If they are mentioned, I wouldn't know who was the "good guys" and who were the "bad guys." When you mention those groups, ladies, please try to remind us who is who and maybe mention them more often. Remember that the names and realities of your story are alive and current to you, but many months pass since the audience has read them, and we need reminders.

Art
Let's see... Two artists, so...

Jess:
I can tell Jess has good fundamentals and an eye for anatomy. Her art seems pretty consistent most of the time, not much improvement, but it was pretty good to start with. My biggest complaint is that the poses feel stiff much of the time. Whatever they are doing, it feels like the character have posed and are frozen in place. I think including slightly less detail can help with this. (I'm not an artist myself, so I apologize for not being more useful in suggestions.)

Amanda:
It almost doesn't need to be said that Amanda's art improves. Her overall understanding of anatomy and proportions get better, and she stops taking shortcuts as she gets more comfortable drawing things like hands and feet. Her coloring is very good, especially for a beginner, but I still see some antialias issues from time to time. She could use some improvement as far as choosing and effectively using textures. They often are more distracting than adding to the work, and they don't seem to match the otherwise flat coloring style. I have seen Amanda make more effective use of textures and shading on other projects, and I would urge her to put as much effort into StH.

Other things:
With Amanda's improvements, their combined styles are becoming more in sync on every page. I believe that Amanda's coloring and final touches on the pages also helps create a solidness to the project.

I agree that hand-drawn speech bubbles would fit the art style better, but I have been glad to see the progression of dialogue art. The different colors to symbolize people was very confusing.

I often get Jane and Daisy confused, especially since all the characters often change clothing and hairstyles. Eye color alone is too subtle a clue to identity. When characters change appearance, it's a good idea to have someone address at least one of them by name on that page.

Oh, and I love the little details and jokes in the background. It was actually the very first thing that kept me reading despite feeling lost in the story and still having the fairly raw art. I seriously kept clicking "next" just too see what silly thing would be in the background.

Overall
Salt the Holly is a fun adventure that doesn't take itself too seriously but manages to tell an intriguing story. It is also a testament to the artistic improvements and the teamwork of a dynamic pair of ladies and gets better all the time. There is still room for improvement, and neither Amanda nor Jess will probably go professional any time soon, but their art manages to tell their story and is also a vehicle for their artistic growth.

This is a casual observer's notes, so take that as you will. Like what's been said before, there's a lot of good effort shown here. The evolution of the artist's style from day one to current is admirable.

The humor is pretty random, which doesn't really fit well when each page makes an attempt at a small joke.

Writing is a big issue. It's hard to follow the character's thoughts when most of what they say is crammed into one speech bubble per panel. Consider splitting up different thoughts into different bubbles, like paragraphs.

Coloring is okay. I can't say much on that because at least the artist makes an attempt to color each comic. Consider getting familiar with a brush tool and working in some value. Practice makes perfect.

The story itself is intriguing, but at a glace it doesn't seem like there's much driving the plot.

Overall, there's a lot to be worked on, but there's also a lot that shows promise. You both have talent, and comparing older comics to newer ones is proof that practice makes perfect. Keep at it.

Thank you all for taking the time to honestly review Salt the Holly ^.^ This was our first project, so it's definitely a learning experience. It's great to know what works and what doesn't - helps us improve and grow as writers and artists!