Yadda yadda, back to work!

http://www.drunkduck.com/Only_Half/index.php

All categories are rated on a positive number if I liked it. The more, the better. Negative points means I didn't like something. Some categories are made up on the spot. But ending up with a positive number is a good thing.

Artwork (+0): I've reviewed Darwin's work before. I find the same things here as I did in the otherone (the name escapes me at the moment; Germuetations?). The art continues to carry a flat rendering to it, and the character's faces attempt to be human but come off looking almost animalistic. The reason I find is that the lower half of the character's heads are out far too much giving all the characters an inhuman snout. It is very destracting.

However, from the other comic the art has somewhat improved. But I feel Darwin isn't looking towards other sources to learn how to do anything different. Buy a few books on drawing characters to help improve on faces and facial expressions. Another point needed to be made is character interaction with the environment and each other. Darwin seems to be struggling at making two or more objects come together and not look like a mashing of flat objects.

Lastly on the art; Background rendering is so-so. Some backgrounds and objects were done very sloppily, and were sacrificed in order to draw the characters also contained within. There were frames early on especially with the blue hover car that just didn't work. Other times, the backgrounds themselves were too isometric for the characters and other objects contained within them. There were some really good renderings within though. For instance, early on there is a panel of the camera looking up at someone walking over floorboards, light shining though. Very nice.

Work is needed overall on artwork. Learning 1,2 and 3 point perspectives with an equal focus on rendering characters in them will help. Buy some books. They do help. They will give you the basics.

Story (-1): Its a vampire story. Though there is a focus on the characters more than a story about hunters and vampire hunters, and vampires who are hunters. There are too many vampire and vampire-like stories out there. This will just get lost in the shuffle of the great and many.

Characters (-1): The characters were okay. In thier own sphere they are kind of two dimensional. This is mainly because I've seen these kinds of characters and stories with like characters in them. I hope Darwin can find a way to pep up the characters and the story in the future in order to break molds.

Standoutishness (-1): This comic just doesn't make me want to come back. I've seen this stuff before. Many times. Over. Improvements are needed in the above three categories to bring it to the fore. The good thing is, I think an Artist/Writer like Darwin might be up to the task.

Hard Work Category (+2): This being the bumper category, I'll rate it on how much work it takes to make these things and how much work Darwin has ahead to get to rocking and rolling. Of course, this might all just be a hobby - something for fun; but afterall a review was asked for and I have pretty high standards for comics and the goals of my own comic work. If Darwin is serious, a lot of hard work is ahead.

Total (-1): As is, this comic doesn't have much that makes me interested in it. It seems to have some dedicated regular fans however. Soooo, I'll have you make a judgment call on your own should you take a visit.


PS: Heh, people are gonna rip me apart when my comic comes up for review. LOL ;P

Hmmph...well I knew what I was in for when I saw it was your name first...so I guess I shouldn't be too surprised by what is said here...

Critiques taken on board...Shortcomings noted...

This particular chapter of the story was chosen specifically for the action element, it does absolutely nothing to show Cabal's depth of character...he actually is pretty complicated. BUUUTTT it is part of the story that he loses his head when it comes to his father.

Sorry that you didn't like the tech...I tried harder on it because it ISN'T my forte to draw...but okay.

Backgrounds...Yeah same as Plague, noted and in work...

other than that, again thank you for taking your time to read and critique the work...I have probably turned you off forever on my work, but the next chapter is a whole different facet of the main character (if I ever get that far).

For the story so far we have a vampire against vampire on a post nuclear holocaust setting, Im not really keen with vampire stories to start with so its not a factor that would personally hook me in. The shifting in between character's points of view is a nice touch though, it gives a broader overall look/feel on backgrounds of characters in the story.

Anatomy wise i think you go for a realistic look on the characters, i personally think your rendering of hands are pulled off quite well (drawing hands are a pain for me). For the faces, well thats another story, i cant shake the feeling that some facial features are not properly placed, specially on the non frontal shots and sometimes they look all squished on the wrong places.

Line strokes/width switch in between very heavy to very light, oftentimes i get distracted, then i look at the authors comments if another person did it. I guess its part of experimenting with what style suits you best.

Theres not much backgrounds, it doesnt give the readers the sense of place they need in a story, ex. the first scene was walking in a desert yet you dont feel the sense of nauseating heat normally associated in a desert (or was it part of the nuclear fall out effects in the environment?)

Camera angles need some variations, 80% of the time its the normal eye level shot, it can get pretty boring if totally overused. The fight scenes with mommy vampire was pretty much fluid in execution though.

Overall, its not a comic id be eagerly awaiting for every updates, this comic strikes me as one of your usuals in DD but worth putting in your faves list to see if it improves over time. Chances are, ill let it pass a few page updates then catch up in one reading.

I have to admit, from the moment I saw it was about vampires, my interest took a nosedive. Why is that? It's not 'cause I dislike vampires. That's far from the truth, I love watching Buffy, Dracula, Vampire Hunter D, Interview With a Vampire, and I like me some Hellsing and the occasional bit of 'Vampire Phantasm', I think 'Legacy of Kain' is a super game series, and Carpe Jugulum is one of my fave Discworld books...I like vampires a lot!

But that's the fundamental problem with most vampire stories with the internet, aptly illustrated by this comic as an example. The vampires in it aren't very vampiric. They're the watered-down angsty vampires you see in 'Blade' and 'Underworld', the 'awww, leave the humans alone!' vampires who drink fake blood, don't seem all that bothered by sunlight, crosses, only get a bit of a burn from silver... You simply don't get the sense that they're vampires. The word 'vampire' could, at any point, be switched for 'mutant' or 'super' or 'immortal' or 'demon' and it wouldn't change things at all. Okay, so the main character is a Dhampir, some kind of half-vampire and I'm not honestly sure how that works, or why a guy who's only half-vampire gets special powers other vampires don't, and seems to get all the benefits of vampy powers without the damnation to eternal darkness, and just occasional blood cravings, rather than what you'd expect which would be being a less powerful vampire. Then again, ever since Blade, I've been totally thrown by this concept of being a half-vampire, which implies you are half-undead. How can a person BE half-undead!? "Well, I half-died, and the dead half came back to life..." I'm hoping for the sake of making sense that this will be explained by them being the disease-type vampires ala 'Blade'...
Essentially, it's a family drama, in this case, a family drama about immortal superhuman beings, but the focus of the story means that, again, there's really no need for them to be vampires. Nobody is ever shown drinking blood, fleeing the sunrise, or doing anything particularly cool and vampiric like turning to mist, bats, wolves, walking on walls, flying, hypnotising people...They just have this 'vamp sense', which is fairly useless power for a vampire to have. They're supposed to hunt humans. What use would a Vampire, hunting humans, have for the ability to sense other vampires? Apart from maybe avoiding mishaps, "Whoops! I almost tried to drink your blood there, Lestat, good job my vampy-sense was tingling! That would have been really embarrasing!"
In favour of this comic, it's taking things in a new direction with the post-apocalyptic vibe, and the artist has some genuine skill, and decent writing ability. The big fight scene in the middle was excellent. Really well drawn, excellently storyboarded, for me, the highlight of the comic.
There are a few things that could really help this comic to pull it's proverbial socks up and become really cool...
Backgrounds. They're sorely needed. It's a post-apocalyptic desert world! There's gotta be some cool stuff going on behind the characters! I wanna see stretches of cracked muddy wasteland, sand or ash-dunes, burned out shells of buildings, piles of waste metal, weeds poking through broken concrete! Or at least some cool sci-fi buildings. It's a vampire comic, so light is very important. Light is one of the only things that can kill them, so that light needs to look dangerous, powerful, opressive. Having seen the shot of the light coming through the rafters, or the protagonist stood in the rain, I know Darwin is capable of this. Since the linework is already pretty dark and heavy, maybe that could be taken further, perhaps taking inspiration from things like 'Hellboy' and 'V for Vendetta' and 'Xxxholic' and using more pure black for shadow. This would not only help beat the feeling of 'flatness' previous reviewers mentioned, but would enhance the strength of the light in the comic, and give a really nice sense of the dark world of the vampires.
Progression. The story needs to move. The protagonist has achieved his first goal, he's found his father, and that meeting has fallen a little flat for him. Something has to happen to get things moving on. We need some kind of a goal or opposing force to give the hero and the story some drive.
Vampires. If we're not getting coffins and wooden stakes and eveningwear and turning into bats, at least give us some blood! I wanna see those vampires being vampirey! If things aren't going the supernatural route, then at least pushing the superhuman angle would make the vampires distinctive from humans. Even if it's not the main characters, assuming they're supposed to be kept as 'nice guys', the readers have to see what happens when a vampire cuts loose and uses all their power against humans to get the real sense of the vampire as an unstoppable, immortal predator.

So basically, I would see this comic as a starting point for what could become a really good comic with some loving pushes of the storyline and confident risk-taking for the art. It's worth a read as-is, especially if you're into pretty vampire guys (I'm not that into 'em personally) and for a really awesome fight scene and good effect shots. There's potential there for so much more though.

Adariel and Darth,

Thank you for the comments, I appreciate again the time you both took to read and review...

Adariel - the backgrounds don't change much cause they're in the basement of a building. I see what you're saying about the desert scenes though I will have to revist that to see what I can do to make it more oppressive. With the thinning of the atmosphere after the blast the days are scorching, and the nights nearly freezing...so yeah there needs to be something done to make that more apparrant.

Oh, dear Darth...um..yeah...Hee, well most of that bloody predator thing happens in the beginning of the story. This is towards the end of it and Cabal is a totally different Dhampir.

Though there will be some damn bloody violence in A Fickle Fickle World, most of it is done by this point in the story. Damn I guess that means I lose you as a member of the audience. There are some things coming but it won't be for a couple of volumes. Faith and Salvation (the next chapter) deals with something else alltogether.

Thanks again to you both...I am already working on better profile/3/4 shots on faces so there should be some improvement coming.