Due East still needs a few more, but just for some variety and to keep things moving, here's the next one :)

NecroLupus


Doing a great job on the reviews guys!

Let's get to it.

Artwork

The first thing I noticed with the artwork was "Wow, this reminds me of my early Super Temps colouring style". It appears to be done entirely with pencil, markers, pen and watercolour, and the early panels reminded me a lot of my comic's own early days with minimalistic backgrounds and colour shading and 'outlines' over actual colouring. Later on this changes (much like I did) and the characters are fully coloured and shaded. It doesn't change the fact that NecroLupus has amateurish artwork. This isn't an insult, but simply that it looks like it is drawn by someone who doesn't have a lot of artistic experience yet. The wolves don't look like wolves, they look like domesticated canines and the choice of colours for them -- a lot of pastels and soft tones -- don't make them look wild at all. While "wild" might not be the intention anyway given they have a civilized community, it makes them even less like wolves and more like pets.

Suggestions: Aside from practice which everyone must do to hone their craft, Ms. Witney might want to consider using some illustrated books on wolves and other feral dogs as resources. This includes actual pack hunting techniques, typical prey, and the effect of humanity's encroachment to their doorstep.


Writing

This (and style) is where I'm truly torn; the comic is very original (it's the story of a pack of undead wild dogs, it's not your usual fare at all) which is very important for a web comic. There's so many generic "fighting" comics, video game-based comics, and other geek comics out there that anytime something truly unusual pops up it tends to grab my attention.

At the same time, I didn't enjoy the story-telling. It's a little too weird for me in some ways. Getting past the weirdness, there's a few key flaws. One is the fact that the dogs are disorganized for a pack. Another is when they're taking down the horse. For one thing -- they're taking down a horse. Of all the farm animals to attack, they chose the horse -- the one most capable of defending itself? Not chickens? How about a nice fat, slow cow? Sheep? Farm cats?

I found there were too many characters introduced all at once. Most of the time, I had no idea who was doing what, and the focus shifted rapidly so my chances of keeping anything straight was (pardon the pun) pooched. Too many characters, too many tangents.

Suggestion: Pick a character to focus on and stick with that character for awhile. That would give the audience lots of time to focus and get to know a few characters, and so when others are introduced, they can more easily tell who's who and what's going on.


Style

This is the key breaking point of the comic for me. When the story is from the perspective of feral canines, I expect a more nature-based or feral feel to it. I actually expect the dialogue and mentalities to be far more alien as they are not human. The comic needs to be more primal, because for those living outside of civilization the strongest and smartest survive. If the pack order is essential to their survival (and it is for wolves) they have to have military level discipline, and it's just not there. Basically... it's too cute for the subject matter.

Suggestion: While it is possible to do an ironically cute comic about gothic and undead subjects (Ruby Gloom got a cartoon show?) you still have to go DARK. You need to use strong colours, contrast, and lots of black. As it is, it's like a Batman comic done in bright, cheerful tones, with blue skies and sunny days. I don't think Batman would even go out as Bruce Wayne into a day like that.

Conclusion

NecroLupus is a very original concept; it's a concept that could have potential. The problem is that if I told someone the comic was about a pack of undead wolves, that person isn't going to expect lavender doggies and goofy ghost hunters. Granted I'm not in its target market, but it's not a comic I could recommend to anyone at this point in its development.

First I want to say I love the concept of this comic! I get a real "Elfquest! feel from it. The writing was a little shakey (as was the art) to start with but improved with almost every page. Be careful about typos (can they be typos if they are handwritten??) "to" instead of "too" because it really jolts a reader out of the story. (it is nitpicky but thought I should throw it out there) But don't worry because anyone who likes to think outside of the box should enjoy reading this!

Your art as I said eariler was shakey at first, with the no backgrounds and limited colors. But after you decided to go all out with the coloring and backgrounds the comic improved so much! I want to say before I go on is your characters are so darn cute, they would fit in perfectly here in Japan! :) All I would say about the art is mix up your panel layouts more and more. Keep up guessing! Also, when you are designing covers remember you have none of your interesting story to help you out. So you need to get things just right!

As I have stated I am a huge fan of story driven comics and this is one of them. This puts us in a different world and does it well. The art isn't the best in the world but it does its job and the story is really top-notch! Keep it up and I will be following along with you

Over all it's a interesting comic.

Characters
Good: It seems that the wolves have thier own personality and one can tell them apart by the different looks, they don't all look the same or act the same.
Bad: you show us too many characters right off the bat so it's hard to get to know one well and it helps to confuse the reader. It's hard to tell who's who when there's so many.

Backgrounds
Good: when you get to the backgrounds they're vivid and it helps to show where the characters are at any given point.
Bad: The backgrounds can be bland at first but with practice it seems that they're getting better.

Story
Good: And interesting concept, something I had not seen before and worth checking out just because it's not been done before.
Bad: It moves to quickly, splitting all of the characters up so you're doing multiple story arcs at one time and it, with so many characters still unknown to the reader, just confuses the reader more.

Yeah, This comic had ALOT of potentiel but at the moment is still refined. Try sticking with one or two character at first, showing his/her abilities, personality, thoughts, actions and through that character(s) introduce the others. Don't go into story arcs of the other characters till the reader can name the other characters by sight.

Still, good work. Keep it up. Definitly had potential.

Nice comic :)

Artwork:
I like your artwork. It's pretty good for traditional stuff. I like the way you draw animals. They're very cute. In your later pages, I like how the lineart for the animals get thicker and thin to where there is more attention in the shading. Very nice.
Although, even if humans play a very minor part in the comic, your should learn basic human anatomy to get the general idea of how to draw a person. You seem to know how to draw animals really well, but you need more of a general expertise in other things.
The backgrounds need more detail. I admire your attention to the coloring, but you need a little bit more.
Overall, you are doing very well. The great thing about drawing a comic is you have to draw a wide variety of things. If you keep drawing your comic, you will improve greatly.
7.5/10


Storyline:
There isn't too much of an actual storyline. They usually appear in story arcs. I will repeat what other people said: It's hard to understand which character is which. I could see that you are trying to make the shape of each wolf a little different, but you must exaggerate a little bit more to make each of them unique. When applying these characters to the storyline, I often become confused and try to guess who's talking. Also, so many storylines happen at once, so it's difficult to tell what's going on.
The story arcs are pretty good. When getting the full understand of what's going on, it becomes a much easier read. Please try to clear it up in the future so it becomes easier.
Aside from my critisism, your stories are very cute and original. Just keep at it.
7/10

OVERALL:
It's a great comic that has potential. Just update often and you will definately get better and better each day. I have seen improvement already. Keep at it and never stop drawing!
7/10

To start off with great job :)

I can tell this is a constantly evolving process and that your dedicated to it, and here's why...

The Art:

In the beginning of the comic, the pages were were simplified. The charecter details were kept to a minimum with the wolves being outlined in particular colors, and it took a few pages for the text to truely get their own balloons. As the book progresses though you can visually see a change. It's ever so subtle at first, you almost don't even catch it until your well passed it. Until suddenly there are more detailed backgrounds, a sense of depth, full color and so on. Even the charecters themselves become a little more detailed at times.

Though the overall art style seems to border on a very cartoonish basis for now I would suggest possibly looking into other animated works where animals have been rendered. Wolf's Rain, Lady and the Tramp, the Lion King. Just so you can get an idea of where you could possibly go, and things you could try to better hone your skill. I'd also suggest a few courses in biology and human anatomy, with a few basic level drawing classes tossed into the mix. This should help you build a stable foundation to further progress this book and your style.

The Story:

While there doesn't seem to be evidence of an immediate story you get to see all the charecters, of which there are probably a little more than needed, carry on both with the pack and alone. I have to say I'm not really fond of the rather immediate introduction to everyone. It's just a little too quickly, but at the same time keeps a consistant enough pace that it's not a book breaking thing. While it's nothing to throw against Shakespear it still makes for a nice time passer, and due to the subdued art is something I would even entertain allowing kids to read since it's not terribly graphic and doesn't seem to revolve around violence.

There's a lot of promise hiding in this book and readers would do well and good to monitor it's growth, it's a book that constantly changes and so far has always been for the better. I wouldn't be against recommending it to a more open minded audiance that was looking for something entertaining and unique.

Bravo :)

Overall: 7/10

Thank you so much to everyone who has given comments and critisism on Necrolupus. I greatly appreciate it and I will try to improve based on what you have written.
:)