Here we go!

http://www.drunkduck.com/Industrial/

Okay, fourteen pages doesn't really give me a huge lot to go on, but I'll try to give as rounded a review as I can with the limited stuff available.

Artwise, from a technical perspective of the drawing skill involved, this is a very impressive comic. The anatomy is very good, not without occasional mistakes, usually centered around the head looking a little awkward on the shoulders, but still waaaay above average. Also, the way vehicles, furniture and general background stuff is impressive. The perspective is great, meaning of course, you don't notice it...'cause it looks right and natural. The influence seems to come very much from western comic book roots, and so there's some great solid black shading on the characters.
Though the drawing skill is excellent, the actual line quality isn't that nice. It looks kind of jaggy, like the lines have been drawn without confidence, in little ziggy-zaggy tablet strokes rather than smooth, sweeping ones. This has shown a little improvement so far, and I'm hoping the lines will smooth out as the comic gains pages and the artist gains confidence. The colour is something I can't really say I'm keen on. I like the concept of using a limited colour palette, but the colours used here are pretty unpleasant to look at, being vomit green combined with 100%blue, 100%yellow, 100%green, grey, white and black. The effect of combining the murky, toned down green, white, black and grey, which look great together, is spoiled by these retina-burning 100% primary colours, which just look way too bright.
The people with green skin was a little strange. Not because they have green skin, I got used to that as a stylistic device, but suddenly on the latest page, there's a guy with pink skin. Perhaps this is a change of style that's just happened and will continue from now on, or maybe there's a storyline reason for green skinned people, so I shouldn't complain about that too much, but I was thrown a little by it. Still, the character designs look pretty cool, ranging from realism to stylistic exaggeration. Everybody has a distinctive design, which always gets cool points from me.

On the writing side of things, it's above average. There hasn't been a lot of plotline so far to comment on, but it seems well thought out. Occasional spelling and grammar mistakes, including some rather clumsily phrased sentances, the one which really jumped out as an example being, "Not sure if what you call how I got here survival." which I can understand the meaning of, but it doesn't make grammatical sense, no matter how I try to punctuate it. Then again, since the same character has said some pretty weird stuff, it could be a character trait that she speaks bad English. Again, the problem of reviewing a comic with only 14 pages.
The two most developed characters right now are the narrators, who act as both Chorus (which I mean in the theatrical sense of the word, not the musical) and comic relief. The humour of this can be hit-and-miss, since sometimes when yellow is yammering on and arguing, you're just thinking 'get on with the bloody story already!' kind of like the two conscience characters in the 'Black and White' games. Generally though, the narrators are genuinely endearing, and yellow adds in some fun quips. Plus, the novelty of having two voices telling the story is quite fun, I hope it'll be used later on in the story to give interestingly different perspectives on events.
The crazy dust girl seems pretty cool, and Dave, the guy in the big armoured suit, basically it looks like there could be some good characters in this.

When all's said and done, it's probably among the comics on the site that come closest to professional standard (apart, obviously, from the ones that ARE professional). It's very good. In fact, in later pages, when the story gets rolling, and with a little work on the colour choices and line quality, I reckon it could be a solid 'excellent', and I don't give out many of those! I'll admit, the style of the comic isn't my cup of tea, but I can definitely acknowledge, this is a good comic, and if you're into western comic book style sci-fi, you're sure to dig it.

Thank ya for the review. I'll explain a few things, even though I hate making excuses.

Colors: I'm colorblind. If I don't have a guide, labels or friends pointing stuff out to me. I cannot really tell shadings of things. I had used a friends photo for the flesh tones early on, then it was pointed out to me that my skin was coming out green. So I switched to a picture of Dane Cook which had a better skin tone reference. Other colors I pick because they look like what I want. However, if something is wrong with the photo references, it will come out on the picture.

Line Art: Shakey because all I used is a tablet and Paintshop Pro 5 (getting a little long in the tooth). While it has the capability to use a tablet it doesn't really have the full blown tools I need to keep it all neat. When I do pencil/paper work my work comes out better and neater. Problem is, I hate scanning with a passion - and I save LOTS of money on not buying new supplies. I have tried to learn Illustrator, but find very little time to really dig into it. Its the tool I need to make this all work right - yet, my brain wont let me out of my old ways. I think its time I do learn.

Thanks again! =)

Eggbert
Your comic must have at least 20 pages to be reviewed.

I'm not sure how hard we are being with the rules but 14 pages might be a tad too little to get a grasp on the comic.

I'll wait with posting my review for now.

Hmmm, that rule was not there when I signed up. But if thats the case. No worries. Another time then.

I say a good amount happened for 14 pages!

Neutral: The art is really take or leave. It's not up to snuff with professional American comic's style but it's above average for webcomics. It has background, color, explosions, chicks that don't look ugly, alotta fun.

Neutral:
The two narrators... You know...I think they should eventually become characters in the comic. They seem to be the most lively bunch. They make me think of those two critics from the muppets... I don't know who they would be ,but they seem to take the spotlight, I almost think this is a comic about two people arguing over how to tell a story than a..post-nuke action something.

Plus+:
Story... It leaves questians...:
Do any of the army dudes notice they are green and probably infected with somekind of mad-asteroid-fever-nuke-radiation? Is Dave naturally a tall guy, did he grow tall due to the radiation, is the suit making him tall, or is the general just short?

Minus-: This comic would be best suited for action American comic fans. I am not one of them. It's a bit too guy-orientated American comic storytelling for my tastes. The story sounds too much like a dick flick action film: Big guy goes out, saving something, most likely that chick that's happy to be alive, lots of fighting and explosions, kill the badguy, she falls for him, he gets her in the end(most likely in bed.) I know that kind of genre's supposed to be like that..yes I understand. It's just that's my own personal tastes.(Now that I said all that I hope I'm wrong. The story IS just beginning after all.) Now it's not that I'm into only fluffy stuff. The story needs a bad--- chick doing evil stuff or those corky narrators to come in the story and start doing something crazy! Or maybe less talking: more something happening.

Plus+: I admit the comedy sets it slightly apart from the plain action genre. It's a parity which has a possibility to be very enjoyable.

Plus+: I really like it that the dialogue is divided up into attached balloon bubbles. It make the longer than average dialogue bearable to read. Also the dialogue is pretty witty. I like it.

Okay so like, I've decided to actually post my reviews instead of just reading the reviewed comics, so here goes:

The Good:
-The artwork. I think that speaks for itself. The artist has an obviously strong grasp on human anatomy, and it shows. He also appears to have a great deal of confidence in drawing backgrounds, inanimate objects, and humans from afar, which is excellent. A lot of amateur artists may draw such very hesitantly, or completely omit them altogether.
-The story. Not completely untouched, but far from cliche. I mean, "pseudo-post-apocalypse interspersed with teaspoons of humour" comic? What's not to love? Of course, this is probably based on my favourable opinion of pseudo-post-apocalypse interspersed with teaspoons of humour comics...
-The dialogue. To me, it seems really thought out and just really gives a certain realism to the characters. It's not like everyone's talking in the same, static way, they each -- at least so far -- have been speaking in a manner unique to them.

The Eh...:
-The linework. It does seem really thick and hesitant in the beginning, which now that I've seen you mention it's due to tablet use, I can understand why it seemed so shaky. However, and this is just a personal, nitpickey thing, but the thickness and shakiness of the line quality actually made me ill, in the tight-in-the-chest, can't breathe sort of way. However, this is because I am not right in the head, and am probably one in a million. I have noticed distinct improvement in not only the line quality, but the shading as well, on the latest page (being p.14, not the splash. Though the splash is impressive in it's own!) which I'm hoping is growing confidence in tablet use...? :)
-The two narrators. This is probably my biggest -- really, only -- qualm with the story. It was funny and neat in the beginning, and I like how they have conflicting personalities, but after the fifth page or so, it's sort of like "okay, we get it..." It's like, to take the flashback incident as an example, we're supposed to be paying attention and learning what's going on with the story, but instead we're completely distracted by the bickering of the two narrators over something that seems to have come from left field, and by the end of the narration sequence, we're still sort of like "... huh?" I think it would be a funny running gag if used sparingly.

The Bad:
In all honesty, there's nothing to go here. I guess my bad points could sort of be interspersed with my eh points, but I don't think either of those points are so bad that they could be considered a "bad" point. Good show!

RESULTS:
Good: 3
Eh: 2
Bad: 0

This is a GOOD comic. (I've also added it to my favourites and look foward to updates to see where this goes :D)

Yeah...green skin thing. I guess I'll let that slide because you're colorblind, however you might wanna just do this comic in B&W. That would allow you to spend more time on the lineart and such. As it is the coloring actually takes away from the comic.

The whole arguing between narrators got old, I thought. This is sort of a serious story, and the whole narrator argument thing doesn't fit. Neither does a lot of the dialogue actually. The woman shows up and blows stuff up and the only thing the guy says is that "Maybe I should think about changing my line of work."? Sounds weird.

As for the art, it's pretty good, although your speech bubbles are really pixleated and look unprofessional. Not sure what program your using to do the speech bubbles, but Photoshop would be my recommendation.

Anyway this is my final verdict:
Pretty good art with a solid grasp on anatomy, hindered by coloring. Also some more variation in the way your present the comic as well as more establishing shots would help make this better. Not only that but your writing is all over the place. Some of it is serious, but then you add slapstick narrators? Instead of balancing it out it just makes the comic really awkward. Also I still don't feel like I know these characters at all. More pages and a better handle on dialogue will fix that though.

Oh man, I somehow totally missed that this comic had less than 20 pages.

Well, GaryB writes super lone reviews all the time, so, I think it might be okay.

So, whoops? Won't happen again.

Less than 20 pages, but a good deal of stuff.

Art:
Your artwork is gorgeous. That's the big thing in your comic. The lines are nice and dark, and the colors are nice for the eyes. The anatomy is actually well done. (Even if the shoulders are sometimes too wide, it's all great.) The background is great, but try to separate it from the main thing (like making the lines a little bit thinner in the BG or something). When looking at this page: http://www.drunkduck.com/Industrial/index.php?p=168371
It was very noticable that you didn't pay too much attention to the light source. You like to add shading, but you're not too confident with lighting. I mean, where's the sun?: http://www.drunkduck.com/Industrial/index.php?p=168372
I can't find it! So thus, your light source can't be found without a light. I have also noticed that you only put a lot of lighting when the light source is obvious, like here: http://www.drunkduck.com/Industrial/index.php?p=165143
Also, I like how you drew the girl, but her hips need to be bigger. It's supposed to be closely lined up with the shoulders. I see this in the last panel of this page:
http://www.drunkduck.com/Industrial/index.php?p=171298

I give your artwork an 8.5/10, because the light source thing.

Panels/Layout:
Well, your comic is definately realistic, and since it's not manga, there is no need to really pay attention on the panels. Although, they're really neat, and line escapes it. Although, I thought there were too many speech bubbles in each page, and it made me not want to read it. I'm not sure if it's just me, but I think comics should be a lot more pictures than words.

Panels/layout get a 9/10

Storyline/Humor:
I'm mostly confused the entire way through. I know, the storyline is pretty straight forward, but I guess it's because you only have 14 pages up.
Your characters are pretty awesome. I loved the beginning, when the 2 narrators were fighting. I was cute. I liked the main character as well. But what I'm confused about is why everyone is green. Is that how you draw people? Because if it is, that's cool with me. I just wish you could have submitted this when you had at least the first storyline down so I could really critique it.
The humor isn't bad. The narrators are cute, the main character says random things (like when he was putting his suit on, and he related it to that one christmas movie. It makes me wonder what time period he's in. Is he even close?). The girl's cool, but she probably is an alien and likes to destroy things. Which is fine. I didn't like earth anyway.

Because I don't know too much about the story... I'll give you a 10/10 for the characters.

This comic is pretty good. I actually look forward to reading it!

Overall: 9/10
(And if you people wanna be technical about it, 8.7/10 or something. I can't do math: I draw comics)

:D

First thing that came to mind when I clicked on the link: "HOOOOOLY SH*T."

No really, I said that out loud.

Which is good, because I don't usually like these kinds of "military" comics.

Anyways, the art is incredibly good. With the all the manga influence there is on the internet its hard to find good American styled comics. I mean really, did you go to art school, or teach yourself? Your stuff looks very professional, I was really pleased. I think that if you just did the comic in B&W it'd look even bewtter than it does now. This alone blew me away. :3

One thing about the art that annoyed me a bit was the shadeing at some points. The background in first panel of this page looks...unprofessional. It kind of looks like you went nuts with the burn tool. The burn tool should only be your friend in very rare instances, because it usually makes stuff ugly. Like I said before I think you should stick with black and white for shadeing, it suits your style more.

The green skin didn't really both me all that much. I think it looks kinda cool.

The writing is different. The two narriorators were cute, the "fatty" thing made me laugh outloud. I think you should lay off them a bit, they'll start to ruin the mood. Tje writing for the characters was enjoyable, it was nice to have some humor with such serious looking art.

Anyways, you only have 14 pages and a filler, so its hard to crit too much. I think your off to a great start and should keep going. It'll be intersting to see how the story progresses. You got the talent man, use it!

This is pretty early on so I can't say much for the writing...but I can get a pretty good grasp of the art from what you've posted. It's over the quality of the average webcomic but the anatomy and line quality are off in places and that slows the reading of the comic for a picky person like myself. (sorry)

http://www.drunkduck.com/Industrial/index.php?p=166672

like on the last panel here, I thought the character in the foreground had his neck snapped for a moment because you made the upper back muscles look like pecs...while they're similar the way you did it here confused me for a second.

Nice Neil Gaiman reference if it was intentional. But yeah the art does need work but keeping on with this comic should fix that. Plus the plot has potential for when it gets rolling.

okay i have two majro things to say about this comic. 1 is that the art style is fucking beautiful so i have to aplaud him on his great work. The characters look rather real and though there are not that many episodes you can tell he took a lot of time into each. I have to say the people could look more real and less cartoony, but hey it fits the comic right.
Now onto the comedy. I liked it, and it seems that I only rate comedies nowadays. Anyway I did read through the episodes and had a few good laughs to myself. They were small and quietly to myself, but in my book a laugh is a laugh and if i can have at least one a page, excluding title pages, than it is good.
on a scale of 1 - 10, 9 only because of short number of episodes and i don't like all that cartoony charactes.

It's been a while since I could do anything net-wise. Been in the middle of a move to a new home and getting settled in. Just wanted to thank everyone for the reviews, for both the good and bad and I have taken it all into consideration as I look back and consider what to do next.

One mistake I have made was not making a color chart for myself while making this comic and confirming it with non-color blind folks. I also tended to pull colors out of my palletted butt at points. I like color, and I wont go back to gray-scale or B&W. I will instead work to improve on my color and of course keeping a tighter reing on it.

I'm also going back to pencil & paper + scanning for the base artwork. I realize I just get better results with it. After 3 years of trying to get tablet and program down, it just can't get the look I want with it. Its just not clear enough. However, I did manage to re-install Illustrator CS2 and bought a book and I will do my line work with that and use Paintshop for black fields and colors (its just much easier to do this Paintshop than it will ever be in Photoshop - which I will reinstall and learn when I get Illustrator down).

Sooooo, this equals me restarting again but with a better grip on what I want to do. I am expanding the story a little better. I'm keeping my dueling narrators. They are people too ya know. They are there to stay, and they are my favorite part of this project so far -- they were not invented in the story until I started to draw it, so I made edits as I went along.

The story will stay simple. Meteor destroys part of a city, boy meets girl, girl meets something else, lots of bad guys and things come out of the city and other places effected by the meteor, boy looses girl, etc.

And yes. The Neil Gaiman reference was intentional. He is my favorite writer in the industry. =)

Sounds good. You didn't have too many pages yet so going back and redoing those pages can really help get new readers.