Comic Review
DD Review of H-Wing
ccs1989
at 7:59AM, May 18, 2007
(online)
posts: 2,656
joined: 1-2-2006
http://ccs1989.deviantart.com
"If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours."
-Henry David Thoreau, Walden
"If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours."
-Henry David Thoreau, Walden
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:38AM
Hijuda
at 10:44PM, May 18, 2007
(offline)
posts: 460
joined: 4-12-2007
Wow, I was wondering when the next review thread would get started.
To start off, I'll just be completely honest here. I didn't like this one.
Art:
The major low point of this comic. The art is crude, the lineart is shaky, the characters often seem disjointed, and proper anatomy is rarely present. I admit, this has gotten ever so slightly better in recent comics, but not very. This section needs a lot of work. (1.5/5)
Writing:
Not as bad, but still bad. I rarely so much as batted an eyelid at a single comic. Some of the strips seem to have funny concepts, but they're either implemented poorly, or the art heavily detracts from it. (2/5)
Overall:
I didn't like this one. The art is crude, and the writing just as so. In addition, updates are scarce- this comic was last updated nearly a month ago, and the comic before that came a month before it. (2/5)
On a side note, if you want to post pages like this or this , why is it that your comic is still T+ rated?
To start off, I'll just be completely honest here. I didn't like this one.
Art:
The major low point of this comic. The art is crude, the lineart is shaky, the characters often seem disjointed, and proper anatomy is rarely present. I admit, this has gotten ever so slightly better in recent comics, but not very. This section needs a lot of work. (1.5/5)
Writing:
Not as bad, but still bad. I rarely so much as batted an eyelid at a single comic. Some of the strips seem to have funny concepts, but they're either implemented poorly, or the art heavily detracts from it. (2/5)
Overall:
I didn't like this one. The art is crude, and the writing just as so. In addition, updates are scarce- this comic was last updated nearly a month ago, and the comic before that came a month before it. (2/5)
On a side note, if you want to post pages like this or this , why is it that your comic is still T+ rated?
It's a comic!
LOLOL LAMFAO
LOLOL LAMFAO
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:48PM
Priceman
at 11:03AM, May 19, 2007
(online)
posts: 521
joined: 11-2-2006
Let's see here:
Art:
At the beginning of the story, the artwork needs work. The anatomy is a bit unbalanced and the character bodies don't seem to flow naturally. However, like most comics, it has improved as the story has progressed. One thing that I have always like about the artwork is the character expressions that easily portray the scene atmosphere and the character's feelings. Also, the use of real pictures as backgrounds is nicely done and usualy fits in perfectly with whatever scene they are being used for.
(6/10)
Story:
The story is a mix between the creator's personal life, and random strips of comedy and sex. I don't really enjoy the story about his life, because it reminds me far too much of my high school days, and the sexual frustration that went along with most of them. However, in the few pages that are up, the cast has been introduced, the main character's personality and problems have been established, and love interest are created. All in all, the story is moving at a mild pace, but it seems to be picking up.
(6/10)
Cast:
The comic's characters all display their own distict personalities and add color to the strip. The cast seems to be made up of mostly support characters that back up the main character nicely. It would be nice to see more of the story revolve around them to give them more depth, but it's not my story.
(7/10)
Other than that, I have to agree that the updates are getting far and in between. If that problem is addressed (along with the few others) then all I see is a comic that has great potential if the creator sticks with it.
Overall (6.5/10)
Art:
At the beginning of the story, the artwork needs work. The anatomy is a bit unbalanced and the character bodies don't seem to flow naturally. However, like most comics, it has improved as the story has progressed. One thing that I have always like about the artwork is the character expressions that easily portray the scene atmosphere and the character's feelings. Also, the use of real pictures as backgrounds is nicely done and usualy fits in perfectly with whatever scene they are being used for.
(6/10)
Story:
The story is a mix between the creator's personal life, and random strips of comedy and sex. I don't really enjoy the story about his life, because it reminds me far too much of my high school days, and the sexual frustration that went along with most of them. However, in the few pages that are up, the cast has been introduced, the main character's personality and problems have been established, and love interest are created. All in all, the story is moving at a mild pace, but it seems to be picking up.
(6/10)
Cast:
The comic's characters all display their own distict personalities and add color to the strip. The cast seems to be made up of mostly support characters that back up the main character nicely. It would be nice to see more of the story revolve around them to give them more depth, but it's not my story.
(7/10)
Other than that, I have to agree that the updates are getting far and in between. If that problem is addressed (along with the few others) then all I see is a comic that has great potential if the creator sticks with it.
Overall (6.5/10)
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:47PM
Triss
at 11:17AM, May 19, 2007
(offline)
posts: 63
joined: 3-27-2007
Art
-Anatomy: The anatomy needs attention (although it does improve). The poses are frequently unnatural, and people may be at awkward angles. The proportions also could stand a little attention. The hands especially are a little awkward... the fingers and the thumb are not positioned correctly on the hand. On the plus side, the characters are relatively distinguishable. Score: 1/5
-Lines: Not much to say here. The lines are thick, which is good for the comic style; however, they could be refined somewhat. A little attention to detail goes a long way. Score: 3.5/5
-Color: Simple, flat color. A little shading in the beginning, but it's gone now. A little shading would make the comic feel more alive and add a level of complexity. Score: 2/5
-Backgrounds: Very basic. Most of the time, it uses a flat background color or a simple pattern. In some cases, however, there is some detail. Even though the backgrounds could stand a little refining, they still work with the overall feel of the comic. Score: 4/5
-Layout: The comic layout needs consistency. Each update, the comic looks different (hand-drawn vs. digital borders, white borders vs. black borders, etc.). Additionally, in some cases, the layout is confusing, and is often too busy to be aesthetically pleasing. Score: 1/5
-Effects: You need to work on your effects, especially water or rain. Rain doesn't look like large blue teardrops to the naked eye, and people who are wet certainly don't have teardrops all over their bodies. Score: 1/5
Total: 12.5/30
Writing
-Plot: The overall plot is a bit unclear. It's difficult to keep track of all the characters, and there are strange allusions to the Handbook which are never really explained. I had difficulty following it, and didn't find it engrossing. Also, it seemed to rely a lot on sex and/or sexual humor, which can get to be distasteful after a time. Score: 1/5
-Writing: There are no blatant spelling errors, but grammar errors abound. For someone who's learned about the proper use of commas, the writing can get tiresome after a while. Score: 3/5
-Dialogue: It flows okay but some of it is a bit cliche. The main characters conflicting desires to be cool and to be loved for who he is are a common plot device among this sort of comic. It was alto a tad difficult to follow (this is partly a placement of speech bubbles problem). Score: 2.5/5
-Humor: The sexual humor quickly became distasteful. I can't say I found any the jokes terribly funny from the start, but after about 10 pages of the main character's complaining about not getting laid, the jokes started to get really old. The nudity in your humor is also crude. Score: 1/5
Total: 7.5/20
Overall
Something about this comic just rubbed me the wrong way. The art, especially the anatomy, needs a lot of work and refinement. The anatomy lacked realism, and the overall presentation lacked detail and polish. The plot, however, was my least favorite part. It seems to be entirely sex-driven, which is always a risk. Comics that focus on sex, if done well, can be amazing; however, more often such comics just seem crude, as was the case with H Wing. The sexual humor doesn't seem all that funny after a while, and the nudity and sexual content quickly becomes distasteful. It also seems not to update very frequently. Perhaps I am reading this comic in the wrong light (some comics don't lend themselves to the serious reading and scrutiny that is required while reviewing), but it wasn't to my taste. (Also, with the excessive sexual content and nudity, you might consider changing the rating.
Total: 20/50
-Anatomy: The anatomy needs attention (although it does improve). The poses are frequently unnatural, and people may be at awkward angles. The proportions also could stand a little attention. The hands especially are a little awkward... the fingers and the thumb are not positioned correctly on the hand. On the plus side, the characters are relatively distinguishable. Score: 1/5
-Lines: Not much to say here. The lines are thick, which is good for the comic style; however, they could be refined somewhat. A little attention to detail goes a long way. Score: 3.5/5
-Color: Simple, flat color. A little shading in the beginning, but it's gone now. A little shading would make the comic feel more alive and add a level of complexity. Score: 2/5
-Backgrounds: Very basic. Most of the time, it uses a flat background color or a simple pattern. In some cases, however, there is some detail. Even though the backgrounds could stand a little refining, they still work with the overall feel of the comic. Score: 4/5
-Layout: The comic layout needs consistency. Each update, the comic looks different (hand-drawn vs. digital borders, white borders vs. black borders, etc.). Additionally, in some cases, the layout is confusing, and is often too busy to be aesthetically pleasing. Score: 1/5
-Effects: You need to work on your effects, especially water or rain. Rain doesn't look like large blue teardrops to the naked eye, and people who are wet certainly don't have teardrops all over their bodies. Score: 1/5
Total: 12.5/30
Writing
-Plot: The overall plot is a bit unclear. It's difficult to keep track of all the characters, and there are strange allusions to the Handbook which are never really explained. I had difficulty following it, and didn't find it engrossing. Also, it seemed to rely a lot on sex and/or sexual humor, which can get to be distasteful after a time. Score: 1/5
-Writing: There are no blatant spelling errors, but grammar errors abound. For someone who's learned about the proper use of commas, the writing can get tiresome after a while. Score: 3/5
-Dialogue: It flows okay but some of it is a bit cliche. The main characters conflicting desires to be cool and to be loved for who he is are a common plot device among this sort of comic. It was alto a tad difficult to follow (this is partly a placement of speech bubbles problem). Score: 2.5/5
-Humor: The sexual humor quickly became distasteful. I can't say I found any the jokes terribly funny from the start, but after about 10 pages of the main character's complaining about not getting laid, the jokes started to get really old. The nudity in your humor is also crude. Score: 1/5
Total: 7.5/20
Overall
Something about this comic just rubbed me the wrong way. The art, especially the anatomy, needs a lot of work and refinement. The anatomy lacked realism, and the overall presentation lacked detail and polish. The plot, however, was my least favorite part. It seems to be entirely sex-driven, which is always a risk. Comics that focus on sex, if done well, can be amazing; however, more often such comics just seem crude, as was the case with H Wing. The sexual humor doesn't seem all that funny after a while, and the nudity and sexual content quickly becomes distasteful. It also seems not to update very frequently. Perhaps I am reading this comic in the wrong light (some comics don't lend themselves to the serious reading and scrutiny that is required while reviewing), but it wasn't to my taste. (Also, with the excessive sexual content and nudity, you might consider changing the rating.
Total: 20/50
"When once the morning star shall rise, when earth with shadow flees away, and we stand safe within the door, then you shall lift the veil thereof..."
last edited on July 14, 2011 4:34PM
Kohdok
at 2:08PM, May 19, 2007
(online)
posts: 776
joined: 5-18-2007
So... Much... Exposition. From what I read, I think there was only one page that wasn't crowded with exposition. This would probably have come across better as a storybook, rather than a comic. Also, you shouldn't put the thoughts of your characters so much and instead give them more excuses to do some action. A good book I have found with examples on how to do this is "How to draw Manga: Amazing Effects." That book covers more about constructing comics than drawing stuff manga-style, so I like it a lot.
Your conservation of space isn't the best in the world. You seem to want to cram as much into one page as you can in some places and stretch out things that don't need stretching. There's a awful lot of talking, too.
The exposition about the wrestlers that you gave an entire page could have been done in one panel.
Example: In one picture, we see Adam with Dru in a lock on the ground. Dru is obviously in great pain. Text Box: That big guy is Adam, also known as "Mauler Mike Kredos". He's got a bit of a temper on him, as you can see. Adam: Wraaagh! Take it back! Take it back! Dru: Gah! Somebody help me! Text Box: That guy he's wrestling to the ground is Dru, one of my close friends. He likes to talk trash but doesn't know when to stop. I think you can see what happens when he does that...
As for the text construction, it seems a little sloppy, with parts of letters melding with the lines of the text bubble. Big no-no. Your grammar also could use a little work, but it actually isn't the worst I've seen..
As for flow, there's a large amount of talking and little action.
The comedy is off-color way too much. It's not funny. Your comic has more lewd humor in it than Scary Movie, and it's not as good as the stuff in that movie. (Truth to be told, I hated Scary Movie). It gets old really fast, too.
I'm not really into criticizing art, but the one thing I have to say is that some of your teenage girls look like they're 40 years old.
But, you can probably fix it up. If you shove some of the pages aside like a bad memory and start writing with some more guidelines, you can probably make it better. The "Don" who looks like Donald Trump was clever, but that's about it. At the very least, bump it up to an "A" rating, rather than "T+"
Then again, once I get the patience to read some of the later ones, some of the pages are actually looking better. The Zangief joke wasn't too bad.
highest rating so far has been #11 in comic books, #13 overall. It's pageviews are almost half a million!!
Croi Dhubh
Holy f***ing win!
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:19PM
ccs1989
at 7:26PM, May 19, 2007
(online)
posts: 2,656
joined: 1-2-2006
Art- Yeah, there's some problems here. Mainly the fact that the anatomy isn't very good, the panel layout is jumbled in a way that detracts from the reading of the comic, the laws of perspective aren't followed, and the text in the bubbles varies between too large and too small. For example pages like this need bigger fonts, but the page before it had pretty big fonts. So there's no real rhyme or reason to that.
Story- All the character's are spazes. They all get angry expressions at some point and yell stuff. It's not pulled off very skillfully, because they just go from normal to inscenced in no time at all. It evokes a more "Why is this happening" reaction. And then there's random nudity in there? I really thought that was unnecessary and came out of left field. Didn't expect that out of a comic with a T+ rating. That could have gone badly if other people were in the room.
I don't know, if this is a gag comic or something it's just not working. It's hard to suddenly pull a sense of humor out of thin air, but if you want people to read this you're going to have to improve your humor. The delivery is hindered by the sub-par visuals and the spazzy characters, and the jokes themselves rely too much on what I would classify as "middle school humor". The characters are also basically interchangeable, as even with exposition they don't feel unique. And since this is a character-based gag comic that's kind of a bad thing.
Story- All the character's are spazes. They all get angry expressions at some point and yell stuff. It's not pulled off very skillfully, because they just go from normal to inscenced in no time at all. It evokes a more "Why is this happening" reaction. And then there's random nudity in there? I really thought that was unnecessary and came out of left field. Didn't expect that out of a comic with a T+ rating. That could have gone badly if other people were in the room.
I don't know, if this is a gag comic or something it's just not working. It's hard to suddenly pull a sense of humor out of thin air, but if you want people to read this you're going to have to improve your humor. The delivery is hindered by the sub-par visuals and the spazzy characters, and the jokes themselves rely too much on what I would classify as "middle school humor". The characters are also basically interchangeable, as even with exposition they don't feel unique. And since this is a character-based gag comic that's kind of a bad thing.
http://ccs1989.deviantart.com
"If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours."
-Henry David Thoreau, Walden
"If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours."
-Henry David Thoreau, Walden
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:38AM
wesxcomix
at 6:12AM, May 20, 2007
(online)
posts: 41
joined: 12-12-2006
Wow! Thanks for ripping me apart guys! That was awesome! Now I know that I have been making crap all along! I will remove this comic as of....NOW.
last edited on July 14, 2011 4:48PM
Priceman
at 6:51AM, May 20, 2007
(online)
posts: 521
joined: 11-2-2006
wesxcomix
Wow! Thanks for ripping me apart guys! That was awesome! Now I know that I have been making crap all along! I will remove this comic as of....NOW.
Reviews aren't to be taken personally, so don't let them get to you. Use what's been said and rethink your approach, that's all.
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:47PM
Hijuda
at 7:11AM, May 20, 2007
(offline)
posts: 460
joined: 4-12-2007
wesxcomix
Wow! Thanks for ripping me apart guys! That was awesome! Now I know that I have been making crap all along! I will remove this comic as of....NOW.
Alright, I'm SORRY. But let's be honest here- this is a REVIEW thread, where people REVIEW your comic. You have to come here expecting to be torn apart, or at least find someone who doesn't absolutely love your comic. Learn to take criticism, and improve by it. Alright, I admit, I came off as a total asshole, and I apologize. But I honestly didn't like your comic, and I certainly wasn't going to say it was the greatest thing since sliced bread.
So, fwiends? :)
It's a comic!
LOLOL LAMFAO
LOLOL LAMFAO
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:48PM
Kohdok
at 8:37AM, May 20, 2007
(online)
posts: 776
joined: 5-18-2007
wesxcomix
Wow! Thanks for ripping me apart guys! That was awesome! Now I know that I have been making crap all along! I will remove this comic as of....NOW.
Don't feel bad. Everyone writes crap at some point in their lives (Shoves old Ranma 1/2 fanfic out of sight). Like I said, push some of those old pages aside like a bad memory and try again.
highest rating so far has been #11 in comic books, #13 overall. It's pageviews are almost half a million!!
Croi Dhubh
Holy f***ing win!
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:19PM
Memmy
at 6:32PM, May 30, 2007
(offline)
posts: 184
joined: 4-30-2007
wesxcomix
Wow! Thanks for ripping me apart guys! That was awesome! Now I know that I have been making crap all along! I will remove this comic as of....NOW.
Woah! Take it easy. If your primary goal is to improve, then those critiques are ment to be taken as advice. First thing for an artist and writers alike is to remember that critiques isnt ment to be taken personally. If you want to improve, you must do it the hard way. I learned that a long time ago and it was an tough lesson for me. I mean, if people told you lies, how would you improve?
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:59PM
smallpops
at 1:44AM, Sept. 19, 2007
(offline)
posts: 16
joined: 9-13-2007
Dofus stories,
Well to start off, I don't like anime specially anime artist wannabe's, BUT Dofus stories kinda gets to me in a good way, I like how it is colored and art lined, Grungy and edgy is my cup of tea, The water painted look to each panel, almost looking speed painting in some scenes, and I really like the way the characters are drawn, very simple and not too exagerrated, The story is kinda confusing to me tho but all in all I like Dofus stories better than the thousands of anime inspired comics out here, props to you Sir!:)
Art: 4.8
Story: 4.3
Well to start off, I don't like anime specially anime artist wannabe's, BUT Dofus stories kinda gets to me in a good way, I like how it is colored and art lined, Grungy and edgy is my cup of tea, The water painted look to each panel, almost looking speed painting in some scenes, and I really like the way the characters are drawn, very simple and not too exagerrated, The story is kinda confusing to me tho but all in all I like Dofus stories better than the thousands of anime inspired comics out here, props to you Sir!:)
Art: 4.8
Story: 4.3
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:48PM
smallpops
at 10:07PM, Sept. 22, 2007
(offline)
posts: 16
joined: 9-13-2007
^^ the scores out of 5
art 4.8/5
writing 4.3/5
art 4.8/5
writing 4.3/5
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:48PM
Hijuda
at 4:31PM, Sept. 24, 2007
(offline)
posts: 460
joined: 4-12-2007
smallpops
Dofus stories,
Well to start off, I don't like anime specially anime artist wannabe's, BUT Dofus stories kinda gets to me in a good way, I like how it is colored and art lined, Grungy and edgy is my cup of tea, The water painted look to each panel, almost looking speed painting in some scenes, and I really like the way the characters are drawn, very simple and not too exagerrated, The story is kinda confusing to me tho but all in all I like Dofus stories better than the thousands of anime inspired comics out here, props to you Sir!:)
Art: 4.8
Story: 4.3
I think you may have made a wrong turn somewhere...
It's a comic!
LOLOL LAMFAO
LOLOL LAMFAO
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:48PM
Cthulhu
at 2:01PM, Sept. 25, 2007
(online)
posts: 5,095
joined: 4-18-2006
Old thread is old.
Dead thread is dead.
Doesn't even exist anymore comic doesn't even exist anymore.
Annoying thread-bumpers are annoying.
Dead thread is dead.
Doesn't even exist anymore comic doesn't even exist anymore.
Annoying thread-bumpers are annoying.
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:58AM
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