Wacky capitalization abounds!

http://www.drunkduck.com/FanDanGo/

Alright, let's see here.

Art- Fairly good. The basics of anatomy are there, but all the faces look very similar. Also I don't think I counted a single establishing shot this entire time. So I get that these characters are in some kind of vaguely established woods, and that there's some army around somewhere which two other characters are looking for, but other than that...? The art improves over time, for example the ending to chapter 2 was pretty impressive. Still, you need some facial variation. New color pages are pretty good though, and the colors of hair will help differentiate between characters.

Story- Doesn't grab me. A girl with a big sword is slightly less cliche than a boy with a big sword, but other than being kind of pissy and having a "mysterious background" she doesn't have much characterization going for her. The other guy with the scraggly beard with her is also low on any kind of characterization. They meet, affirm their mutual goal, and then ZOUNDS. Some guy just comes out of nowhere and takes over the comic for a while. The running away gag has been done, so that's kind of "meh". Also vary your camera angles a little . Completely horizontal running sequences aren't very exciting.

Overall- You've got some solid skills, but I'm not hooked by this comic. The story just seems too cliche and that Sol guy who posed as the villain for a while wasn't very interesting. I'm sure you have a lot of manga-fan followers, but I'm tired of this kind of stuff.

What did I say about the importance of reading the whole comic before reviewing in my 'how to review' thread? From your review, it sounds like you only read the first two chapters, which are now well over a year old. 'Add hair colours'? 'More camera angles?' You're giving me advice to do stuff I already started to make efforts to do over a chapter ago. The comic is now in full colour, the setting has totally changed, I've made efforts to make the characters more different... I need advice for my comic as it is NOW, not as it was 18 months ago.

Also, and very importantly, I have NEVER read 'No Need For Bushido'. I see the joke you mean now, since after you mentioned it, I went to have a look. But I didn't copy it from 'No Need For Bushido', it's a simple joke, it's been used a billion times with different variations and I'm not particularly surprised to see it's coincidentally come up elsewhere since it's just a slightly different version of going 'look, over there!' and running.

I don't mind criticism, but I'm somewhat insulted by your half-assed review. If you can't be bothered reading the whole thing, don't review it. You don't HAVE to participate in every single review thread, so why not just go in for review threads where you can actually put some effort in?

I'm not certain, but didn't there used to be a rule in this forum where, if a person's comic was currently under review, they weren't allowed to come in and post in its thread? I think the idea was so people could review it without being afraid that the comic artist wasn't looming over their shoulder, possibly swooping in to bite their heads off, or get super-defensive about what was written before everyone's opinions are in.

Darth, I'm sure ccs didn't mean to insult you. I know that you take reviewing very seriously and you're an active reviewer here, but I don't think your response is helping much. You can't make people give you the type of review you want.

ccs, your language was a bit offhand.... There is completely valid criticism there but it's kind of tainted by the tone, I can see how Darth was insulted a bit by it.


I'm not siding with anybody here but I'd hate to have the new reviews start off on a bad note. Can we take this kind of thing as a lesson, maybe?

What did I say about the importance of reading the whole comic before reviewing in my 'how to review' thread? From your review, it sounds like you only read the first two chapters, which are now well over a year old.'Add hair colours'?

No, I said that hair colors will help differentiate between characters, as in I had already seen that you had started doing that and was affirming that this would help tell characters apart.

I need advice for my comic as it is NOW, not as it was 18 months ago.

Listen, you've put up a body of work for review and I'm assessing it. I'm not going to make this whole review "What you should do." I'm assessing the comic as it is when I'm reading it. I did give pointers, though, such as varying camera angles, do more establishing shots, etc.

Also, and very importantly, I have NEVER read 'No Need For Bushido'.

My mistake.

I don't mind criticism, but I'm somewhat insulted by your half-assed review. If you can't be bothered reading the whole thing, don't review it.

I did read the whole thing. You're trying to make it sound like I didn't in order to undermine the points I made. All those points still stand. I'm sorry if you were dissapointed in my review, but I'm not going to say I liked the comic if I didn't. I do think you have solid skills though, and can utilize those to improve a great deal in the future.

Alright, this is my first time reviewing a comic... so please bear with me. I've been reading FanDanGo for awhile though, so here goes:
One of the best things about webcomics, in general, is that you not only get to see a story progress, you get to see the artist/style take it's course as well. FanDanGo is great in that the art evolves to make the characters more distinct as we get to know them better. It's obviously unintentional, but it does have a neat over all effect.

The plot is still unfolding, and it is going "slow". By this I mean that in chapter four I still feel like I'm in the first chapter of a novel. While the plot still seems somewhat elusive (we are getting pieces of it) the characters, on the other hand, are beyond the fourth novel chapter of development. Not your usual "Justice League"- or even "The Goonies"- these heroes are all about quirks. (I happen to like quirks, so I guess that's why I'm so into this comic.)

Recently, the comic switched violently from black and white to color. This wasn't a big deal when I was waiting anxiously for the next page to update, but I went back today and reread it to see how it played out in "book" format. My reaction:
"I don't think we're in Kansas anymore Toto..."
The change was dramatic, and although the style was still the same, the color REALLY made a difference. I may not be a fan of when movies going from black and white to color, but works just fine in this comic.

To conclude the segment where I wildly praise the comic let me say this: Albion manages to be bald AND a headmaster without making me think of Professor X, which is amazing in deed.

It's really hard for me to come up with constructive critique when the comic beyond my own abilities. There are, however, two things that, upon rereading, snagged me:
1) Mysterious entrances ahoy. WOAH, so many so close together.(Okay, so there weren't THAT many, but it felt like there were.) This, like the color, didn't hit me until I read it all in one go.
2) I have a hard time believing that young Sarin is Sarin. This is probably because the long hair really doesn't show her face shape as much, but it really did make me go "what?!" (This is something I noticed before rereading, but it put me off more to see it again and still be confused.)

And... that's all.

Whoa, just finished reading the FanDanGo archives (took me about three+ hours...damned dial up takes forever to load anything >_< ) so with it all fresh in me mind, let's get reviewing :)

And by the way, when I reference pages they will be written as (X-Y) where X is the chapter number and Y is the page number.

Artwork

Probably the first thing that grabbed my attention when I read FanDanGo, Mongoose employs a well defined style of art with strong manga influences.

Probably the most eyecatching attribute of the art is the heavy stylisation which appears in many of FanDanGo's pages. My favourite examples would probably include (1-12) and (1-14). Mongoose's ability to experiment with such distinctive artistic styles allows the comic to both better capture audiences' attention as well as to distinguish itself from the many other comics on the net.

A large majority of the early strips were in black and white, which are simply beautiful; Mongoose has an understanding of tones and shades which can only be described as masterful, pages such as (2-2) are excellent displays of her expertise with monochrome.

Following (3-19) however, the comic discards its black and white roots for colour. Not to take anything away from Mongoose's obvious ability with colour, but I have a personal preference for her earlier black and white works. Nevertheless, the coloured pages are still beautiful and also allow her to further enchance the retro feel of the comic as seen in wonderfully funky pages such as (4-5)and (4-17)

Score: 9/10

Story

The story up to this point so far has been rather slow, with character establishment taking priority over action. However, Mongoose is obviously knowledgeble in pacing and doesn't allow her story to dull through frequent use of humour as well as occasional fights, thus allowing the comic to retain its freshness.

Also, whether deliberate or otherwise, little explanation is ever given of the world the story is based in. This is evidenced in pages such as (2-1) which introduces concepts such "Magic Count" and "Runic Equasion" without much explanation given to the reader.

This is a little of a double edged sword as whilst it makes the story flow alot more naturally, it may also confuse the reader and force them to stop and try figure out what the characters are talking about. However, most terms introduced aren't overly complicated and are pretty easy to work out.

Overall though, the story does seem interesting and the world it occurs in appears to be highly original, however a slightly slow start does hinder the experience a little.

Score: 7.5/10

Characters

The characters in a comic are often the driving force of a story so I thought I'd give them their own category :)

Mongoose obviously has a very good understanding of her characters as a most of them are able to display distinctive personalities without appearing one-dimensional and predictable; which in my opinion is a incredibly difficult task for a writer.

In addition, most characters have fairly distinctive styles of speech which add to their personalities, such as Sarin's monologues and liberal use of fonts in (2-5) and some really British expressions used by several of the characters such as in (2-11).

Also, I'd like to point out that FanDanGo is the only comic I have ever seen that stars a left handed female main character, which is bloody cool in my opinion. (For some reason, south paws are almost non-existent in the comic world, and if they do exist they seem to always be male)

Ultimately though, FanDanGo stars a varied and interesting cast of characters who grace its beautifully drawn pages.

Score: 9/10

Overall though, FanDanGo has been an absolutely joy to review and has also being added to my favourites :) Its a unique combination of highly stylised action, suprisingly deep drama and witty, quirky humour. A slow start to the story is about the only complaint I have for this wonderfully crafted comic. Nevertheless, I highly recommend this comic and am certain you will not regret spending a moment to enjoy the brilliance that is FanDanGo.

Final Score: 9/10

Whoa, that took ages to write, hope it isn't too long or anything... =P

Okay, comic review for FanDanGo.

First, the template is kinda....fails for me. It's designed to confuse people...So DarthMongoose, could you fix it or change it into more traditional template please....it's just so annoying.

Then art:

manga influenced, looks kinda "Bleach"-ish, rather hard-lined and unique, sometimes augmented with experiments, which are successful so many times. Early black and white pages are kinda clumsy on gestures and anatomies, but the expresssions are expressed quite okay. Those kinda remind me of my prehistoric...err..junior high school years, complete with some inconsistencies here and there. Later pages have improvements on the anatomies, gestures, and expressions, but one thing still lingers: Similar faces. Thick eyebrows, similarly curved eyes, and grins. At first I cannot differentiate between Juliet, Rochette, and Sarin, and they are still hard to be differentiated.

And one more thing: it is more like shonen manga than shoujo manga....


then story:

I think this is where the comic fells short. First chapter ends abruptl, well, there are character developments, but they feel like insufficient. I think that's because there are so many characters and plots are weaved from the get go, and that's always a bad start, only some experienced comic writers can manage to do that. And in chapter 1, some suppose to be bad ass dude needs only one page to be de-badassdude-ed. And then we have chapter 2 that is....giving a feeling that something is not linked between chapter 1 and chapter 2. Chapter one we have all sort of characters thrown into the mix, but chapter 2 going on slowly with four pages of monologues...and then we got thrown abruptly into some actions that start somewhere between chapter 1 and chapter 2, that ends abruptly too with the supposed-to-be-bad-ass dude got kicked the second time and the main heroine turned her back on him with indifference, and the STBBAD ended the fight with a stale joke of....uber technique of running away. Geez.
And oh, the two supposed to be "highly aware of the environment" knights got caught in a trap set by the STBBAD. Talk about...cheap jokes.

And cheap jokes are abound. Well, I like cheap jokes, but if they are not so original...well, kinda unlike it. But the jokes on later pages, especially on colored pages are better, much better.

But there's something wrong in the overall view of the story. Too much characters are introduced without any of them got developed properly. The writer rushes characters too fast, sometimes making a nicely paced storyline crashed into a wall or forced to detour, making the overall speed of the comic snailpaced.

DarthMongoose should consider making later chapters have less characters told and more developments unravel.

Characters:

Well, every characters have their personalities, and that's apparent here. Every characters have their own voices, emotions, hairstyles, clothings, but alas....similar faces...but not similar heights, that's a saving grace.


This "similar faces" condition have made me confused time to time. I still have trouble differentiating Rochette from Sarin, or Rekki from Tam, other than colors of their hair.

This needs to be fixed. DarthMongoose needs to differentiate at least the shape of their eyes and their mouths.


And so, overall:

A comic with nice concepts, with got trapped in its own device. Needs to give more room to story and character developments.

I give it 7 out of 10 Quacks !

(+)Art.
Solid. Good figure drawings. The backgrounds are eh in the beginning ,but in the later chapters get to be very good. Really like the interior backgrounds.

(+)I like the color more than the black and white. It fits in more to the 60s 70s groove style going on.

(+++)The character designs are my favorite aspect of FanDanGo. Each character is very detailed with accessories and creative clothing designs. Reminds me of Naruto and Bleach.

(+)Line art is good. There isn't hesitation in the lines(fluff drawing) like beginner artists.

(-)Layout... I don't like the layout and angles sometimes. The action scenes should have bigger panels. Recent page example: http://www.drunkduck.com/FanDanGo/index.php?p=167081
The first three panels are awesome! It's so overshawdowed by the less than interesting aftermath scenario.
Smaller panels should be reserved for jokes, and not quite important to the plot talk scenes.
Larger panels should have backgrounds, very important dialogue, and action scenes.
Ccs1989 is right about single establishing shots.
Example: http://www.drunkduck.com/FanDanGo/index.php?p=186419
The first panel donated to establishing a background is so small. The artist shouldn't be afraid to use an entire page for an establishing shot.

(-)Story: In a sentance: Military Palidin teenagers(very simular to Naturo's military ninjas) take on jobs and bad guys shouded in the darkness. One of them has super special powers and the rest have mysterious pasts.

I admit it is pretty clishe dispite the auther's intentions. I'm sure it will drive away from that point as the story goes on. Hoping the story will focus more on Rocket.

(+ and -)Characters: Rocket is the most developed character. Her powers and past seem pretty cool.
I can't seem to get attached to the other main characters. Rekki seems too clishe headstrong and also too strong of a character. The characters really haven't faced any real challange to me to be interested enough. I found myself rooting for the spiky haired dude throughout 1-3. (I seriously wish I could get the name...Sol?)

Well basically when the characters are thrown into a real dangerous challage the story could get more interesting.

All in all the comic is 5/10 Normal (or if readers are more into artsy manga for the sake of artsy manga 9/10)