Elements

Elements is a Choose Your Own Adventure comic, in a format similar to MS Paint Adventures. Styled after old-school text adventures like the King's Quest series, series, Peasant's Quest, etc., the story is directed by the readers, who make suggestions like "TALK TO ELF", or "TAKE BREAD".

Concept
This comic gets a separate category for concept, because the concept is great! It's original, and brings back great memories of old games. But, is the author really taking suggestions from readers? I can't find any evidence of this. He seems to be taking the story along a preset path of his own.

I enjoy the parts that seem like real commands one would type in a game (directly interacting with objects in the environment, silly things, etc.). Some parts are clearly just to move the story forward and don't seem like a game ("return home" and "embark on quest," for example). Things started moving fast and abstractly once Nico showed up; then it seemed less like real game commands and more like I was reading an ordinary comic.

I also wish there were more problem solving elements, like in the games it is based on. So far there have been a few, but mainly it feels like things are moving along beyond the imaginary player's control, and despite the fact that the "player" is acting silly.

Art
It's generic, but comical and appealing. I like the design of Nico, Fanette, and the elf deity. There are a few mistakes, however, such as that the pickaxe doesn't actually appear in the inventory for the longest time. The backgrounds often looks rushed, but there are some cute details, like all the mushrooms. It'd be better if it was less rough and generic. The semi-photographic-looking tree backgrounds are distracting, in my opinion. Lighting and rain effects come across well.

Writing
Great! Sets a silly mood, with the authoritative tone of the computer in such games (it tells you what you can and can't do in a frustrated tone, etc.). No mistakes, and it fits the story and style well.

Characters
They're pretty simple, but each one manages to have as much character as possible in the restraints of the game/comic. It's hard to judge the main character, since his personality is the personality of the imaginary player of the imaginary game. That in itself is interesting, though.

Story
The story could be more original, rather than the generic elf-orc-human-dwarf world that is all too familiar. It's turning into "save love interest from bad guys," so I hope it will end up more original in the future and not so derivitave.

Looking forward to reading future pages, with more clear backgrounds, game-like commands and events, and originality. Very interesting idea and implementation so far!

Hey, I'm glad you like it! I'll try to address a few of your questions/issues, since I feel that's my responsibility.

edawaru
Concept
This comic gets a separate category for concept, because the concept is great! It's original, and brings back great memories of old games. But, is the author really taking suggestions from readers? I can't find any evidence of this. He seems to be taking the story along a preset path of his own.

At the moment (While this comic is mostly unknown), I am relying on a couple forums I frequent to give me the bulk of the commands I use, so that it doesn't get stuck in the mud from inactivity. I have to pick from (on average) about a dozen choices, ignoring the endless "rape" and "suicide" commands.
Occasionally the silliness of commands reaches a point where I have no other option but to commandeer the keyboard myself, for the sake of advancing the plot and introducing concepts (Such as the "Lore" command) that the players probably wouldn't reach on their own.

edawaru
I enjoy the parts that seem like real commands one would type in a game (directly interacting with objects in the environment, silly things, etc.). Some parts are clearly just to move the story forward and don't seem like a game ("return home" and "embark on quest," for example). Things started moving fast and abstractly once Nico showed up; then it seemed less like real game commands and more like I was reading an ordinary comic.

When you use suggestions from the internet, you tend to get variety like that. Usually I will convert them to "video-game-ese", but sometimes they'll make suggestions like "Re-unite with loving wife and daughter" that I find amusing and will stick with.

edawaru
I also wish there were more problem solving elements, like in the games it is based on. So far there have been a few, but mainly it feels like things are moving along beyond the imaginary player's control, and despite the fact that the "player" is acting silly.

One of the problems with puzzles in this format is the combined ingenuity of the players. Where, say, a tile-sliding puzzle or a riddle would keep one player busy for a decent length of time, rewarding failure with death, the readers are likely to crack the code almost instantly, spoiling the fun of trying to solve it.
Planning the puzzles is another issue, as you'll often get completely unorthodox suggestions that actually would work. Writing a CYOA comic is like some kind of constant battle of author vs. reader.

However, despite the difficulties, I do agree with your suggestion and am currently working on some classic game-style puzzle goodness. Maybe later on I'll be able to implement more interactive puzzles via flash games or java, the future is a blank slate as far as that's concerned.

edawaru
Art
It's generic, but comical and appealing. I like the design of Nico, Fanette, and the elf deity. There are a few mistakes, however, such as that the pickaxe doesn't actually appear in the inventory for the longest time. The backgrounds often looks rushed, but there are some cute details, like all the mushrooms. It'd be better if it was less rough and generic. The semi-photographic-looking tree backgrounds are distracting, in my opinion. Lighting and rain effects come across well.

In regards to glitches, I try to fix those when I find them, but a few do slip past me. If you let me know about them, I will fix them though.

As for the picture-forest background, I must confess that's a bit of laziness on my part. My biggest struggle is trees, and I wanted something that wouldn't blend in with the foreground. But there shouldn't be very many (if any) more of those kinds of backgrounds in the future.

edawaru
Story
The story could be more original, rather than the generic elf-orc-human-dwarf world that is all too familiar. It's turning into "save love interest from bad guys," so I hope it will end up more original in the future and not so derivitave.

There actually is a much bigger world that's yet to be explored and elaborates on the races/gods/places, and the quest itself will be more than just a rescue mission. I don't want to say too much and give away my plans, but there's whole lots more in store than just a typical swords and sorcery adventure.

Hopefully this doesn't come across as being too confrontational or argumentative, just a few quick explanations. Thanks for taking the time to review!

I really think the concept is genius, at first I was a bit put off by the art but as I kept reading I realised that it's portraying the old command games that had us all frustrated in the 90's.

So the art, as simple as it is really fits. The realistic backgrounds make the strips a bit tacky, but i think maybe making them darker or a blur, would make them a little less distracting and lets the foreground stick out.

The humor and narration is clever, really keeping the old text based games feel to the comic.

Obviously with a bigger following and more interaction this comic is going to be enjoyed a lot more.

So keep working hard.

Elements review
(This is my first attempt at a review for DD.)

Concept: Wonderful. This is a novel webcomic, showing the versatility of the medium. It's a parody of old-school computer adventure games and it does a great job of imitating and poking fun at the frustration of those games. (I had flashbacks to Zork and the Hitch-hikers Guide to the Galaxy text adventures I played when younger ... oh the humanity!) The utilization of feedback by the readers is a wonderful (if a trifle opaque to Drunk Duck readers) touch.

Writing: The story is slowly (very slowly) developing. However, this lack of pace isn't really an issue given the fast rate of posts, and the whole concept of the comic. The grammar of the writing is sometimes off, but this may be intentional, just as it was in some of those old games.

Art: Minimal, but it really works. If anything it's more detailed than most of the games it is parodying.

Overall: In some ways it's a one-joke idea. A very clever one-joke idea, but with the potential to fall flat and feel repetitive after a while, and indeed there are times when it feels the story is wading through molasses. However, the underlying humour in the text keeps the reader going. There are enough fun moments, clever responses to silly text commands, and unexpected occurrences to keep interest up. This strip could go for years at its current cracking pace and still seem fresh and fun.

If you are one of the people actually getting commands accepted by Doodstormer then I imagine this webcomic is even more fun. But even as a reader after the fact this consistently brought a smile to my face. I look forward to seeing where this goes, and possibly submitting some orders myself.

The concept if this comic is good and the potential of readers being able to make choices that affect the story line is the biggest sell for the title. That is unfortunately where the good stuff end.

Trying to read the archive and looking at it as an actual comic it is severly lacking in a lot of areas. Bottom line is that trying to read from page one and to the finish (120+ pages in just a few months ) gets brutally boring quick. Without the interactive part all we have are essentially screen captures of game. A fictional game, though it may be. We don't get to play it we just get to look at still screens which isn't fun at all, it's just slow and tedious.

ART & STORY:
The art is ok and in a clean cartoony style, but is repeated constantly which leaves the whole thing a moldy sprite comic smell. The backgrounds are usually drawn but the occasional filtered photo sneaks it's way in there aswell. The pages are filled with stats and information that change now and then, but it's something that is totally uninteresting to check out.

The writing is for the most part amusing in an old point and click game fashion. It's rarely laugh out loud funny, but ok in a dry sort of way.

OVERALL:
I can see the charm in it if you follow it's updates "live" and can interact with the story, but from an actual comic stand point reading the thing from start to finish will bore most people to tears.

The concept for this comic is great, it is simple concept that is ripe for exploitation.

Writing
Pretty solid and feels right for the concept. I really find it hard to say much on this that hasn't already been said. The plot is not exactly gripping though and to be honest the format isn't really great for dramatic story telling. It is hard to fault because the flaws are a side effect of the concept. It could be better mind.

Art
It's very tidy and while it is much like a sprite comic it is very well done. Again I find it hard to fault it as it doesn't work in the same way as most comic art. Really it is a glorified sprite comic, but it works.
For the record I really dislike sprite comics.

Overall.
All sounds positive and I really wanted to like it more than I do, the problem is it doesn't feel interactive enough. If there was bigger gap between pages and if all the "commands" given or suggested were listed in the comments section it would likely help.

Also reading the archives is a chore, it's fun reading the updates as they come but going through the archive... well it becomes clear where the comics strengths are.
Doodstormer is doing a solid job but it just needs a little tweaking. The presentation is excellent but we would all benefit if we sw all the suggestions doodstormer gets for this.

Woo hoo! Shout ot to Genejoke. I have NOT forgot about you and am going to be in touch shortly.

Now then, I would like to present my own review of 'Elements', even after reading the above reviews. First, to other reviwers: THIS...IS...A...COMIC! Not a game!

Author, please correct me if I'm wrong but I THINK you were trying to make a clever comic, am I right? (Just choose YES!)

Anyway, I found this book yesterday when I clicked on it from the features tab overhead on the home page. I rarely do this because I am often disappointed with the comics featured there in one way or the other (I am an extremely picky comic reader and not sure why. It either clicks for me or it doesn't.) And I must say, for me, Elements clicked.....and clicked... and CLICK! (LOL)

Alright, it clicked for me after the first few pages as I was immediately relating to the material from playing (what else?!) early day RPG video games. As I read, I felt the feeling like when watching over the shoulder as my buddy took his turn at the annoying 1 player game.

This comic is original. Perhaps there are more out there like this, but this is an original concept with a hook that brings the reader back for more, page after page, and that is the basic foundation of a good concept. I feel things have kept up at a smooth and even enough pace to keep the reader interested and entertained. I hope you continue to develop your concept so the story may continue!

And speaking of story, this comic has one as well. It is the tale of YOU! The mushroom farmer! Who apparently knows everything about mushrooms but secretly only knows what your little book (which you've left behind!) tells you. With goofiness and an even pace, the story, I feel, has been executed well in that it has been interesting and entertaining enough to keep me turning the page and stays true to the concept perameters.

The art is brilliant (and hopefully easy to execute!) You cannot complain about the art here because this truly is something that is self dictated with a concept like this. I find the art amusing and extremely complimentary (can't find the word I want) to the story. It greatly helps to tell the story! There, yes.

So, big points for entertaining, cute, addictive and original. Hopefully you can move this story forward as no doubt it must become a bit more complex in order for it to live up to its own standards so far but I have faith in the author. After all, he did bring us such a fun and simply care free tale to begin with!

Hey there I'd like to put in my two cents in this review to show my support for the comic.

I recently found this comic in the featured. It had an amazing fresh perspective of the sword and sorcery gamer comic.

What makes it work is the sarcastic comments from the narrator (or is it main character) when the comments don't sound right. It seems that the commends are half stupid ones but somehow the story pulls along. I originally thought that the creator wrote all the commands herself but it seems by reading previous posts she takes most from a forum...

Anyway the art is solid enough to work for the story. I like the game graphics bars in every page. I wonder what would happen if his dignity or sanity bar would completely go down. The author complains about some of the character art, but no need to sweat it. It's cute, simple and I can tell them apart easily. It's a high step up from spite comic art. The only thing that felt off was that the orcs were shorter than the humans. I'd imagine the orcs being a lot taller.

Storywise it could be the most cookie cutter thing ever, lowly human goes off to save girl in a fantasy world. EXCEPT with those witty narrator comments and the CYOA it becomes interesting. It reminds me of DnD games working with a DM. You say what you want to do and the DM comes at you saying Nono you shouldn't do that it's useless.
I keep thinking in this comic that the narrator talking back to you is the main character. The character is getting all these stupid commands and the character is talking back to you through the 4th wall. The character is aware of everything he can and can not do in the world and gives hints to move the story along. It kinda puts up a conflict for the story: The character wants to save this chick but he can only do what the reader commands and most of the commands are stupid. That makes it an interesting story. I almost wish it were distinctly the character being the one becoming sarcastic and frustrated, because usually in stories it is the character the moves the story and this would be what makes this a comic and not a interaction RPG.
So I think to keep this story going good the narration dialogue has to keep being interesting and expressive to the characters wants and emotions.

Anyway. Great work. Keep it up.

Art: I like the art. It's coloured nicely and has a lot to look at. The character art however reminds me too much of the Zelda character Link. Perhaps it's his hair and the hat he wears. I just feel he is too similar and I don't like that part of the art, other then that, very good.

Comic: I don't like that it is made like a video game. I Find myself very annoyed when I have to scroll down to the black box to read the commands and actions. It takes away from the art. I often forget what is going on because it's so BLUNT.

Text: The text is easy to read, that's a good thing. Unlike other artist you didn't change your text style as the comic goes on. That's good.

Story: Though I don't like the video game type story I can agree it's very creative. Not many people (at least I've seen none) have done a story that is made like this. The story is very nice however, it sort of allows the reader to join into it, which is what I hope you had planned from the start.