bombs away! Page 1 of Due East

Okay, this is going to be my first post on the forum. GO ME!

anywho, what I thought of the comic 'Due East'...

Over all it's a good comic.

Characters
Good: The characters are rounded out, their emotions are easily portrayed, and they've come across realistically.
Bad: Sometimes the anatomy (sp?) is off or looks a little weird but throughout the comic it does show improvment.

Backgrounds
Good:The backgrounds are really good (WAY better than what I can do so I'm kinda jealous) and are consistant.
Bad: I'm jealous of the backgrounds! XD

Story
Good:The story is realistic and understandable. It gets interesting later on too. (wow, that came out wrong)
Bad: Sometimes it moves slowly and can become confusing at some spots but read a little further then it starts making sense again (not like I have room to complain).

Yeah, I have to say that this is a good comic. It's not really what I'm into and I'm not going to add it to my favs, but it's worth a read.

I like the pencil work for the characters and backgrounds - it creates a rough version of the characters and the world that they inhabit - almost a reflection of reality. However, the text in the balloons sometimes gets squished into the panels.

The dream sequence is a little difficult to view, as the text is clear but the images are blurred. The effect is noble, but not quite where it could be yet. It takes away from the artwork, focusing instead on what is being said more so than who's saying it and what they're doing.

The line art and backgrounds are solid, easy to follow and pleasing to the eye. Location is established about just about every page, so anyone catching up later in the week can know where the characters are. The characters are uniquely designed, completely original from each other and easy to identify.

Because they're done by hand, some of the sound effects get lost on the page as well.

More recent pages have started using computer generated fonts, which help with the balloons a lot. The recent addition of color to the latest pages doesn't hurt the artwork, but much of the coloring is very dark - almost too dark.

All in all, Due East has quality artwork and a good grayscale shading style that helps make it unique (later followed up by color work that could stand to be lightened up a bit). The hand written balloons are refreshing to see, but sometimes the words get a little squished in the panels - this has been adjusted in later pages. The characters are each unique and easy to identify, and the backgrounds are well done - helping to establish location for readers.

Keep up the good work!

This review is going to be a bit difficult for me -- I know and respect Allen and that means for the whole time, I'm trying not to be overly positive (because I like the guy) or overly negative (to counter being over positive). But I'll give it my best shot.

Artwork

Due East has strong artwork. It's very much the artist's own unique style -- if there are influences they have a light touch. The characters come in a variety of shapes and sizes, builds and ethnic background. The backgrounds are fully detailed.

When it first started, it was done entirely in pencil with almost no adjustments being made digitally. The penciled balloons could be difficult to read at times, and when combined with greyscale and a detailed background sometimes the characters didn't stand out enough.

The introduction of fonts made things much easier to read, although they stand out a bit too much. Not that fonts are bad, but your eyes are drawn to the difference in how the fonts look compared to the regular lines.

When colour was introduced, it gave much needed contrast -- the only problem being the lines appear a little sawtoothed.

Suggestions: If possible, scan at a higher resolution -- I use 300 DPI. Then shrink the comic down to a manageable size before publishing. It will take some playing to figure out what size the fonts will have to be before you shrink them, or you will have to letter after reduction. That should help eliminate rough edges. The only advice I have for the artwork is the technique used for your electronic tools because your art skills are mature and your style is your own.


Writing

I generally don't read realistic, story-telling comics, so I don't have the qualifications to comment on the story itself. What I can comment on are the characters, which are well developed. Perhaps thanks to the fact that it IS a realistic, story-telling comic is the reason -- you can't afford to have 2-dimensional characters. A good example is page 13 -- Brielle was looking to pick a fight, and when her mother didn't give her one she stormed off frustrated. It's handled in a natural fashion without some silly inner monologue.

The only specific comment I have is that Due East does deal with religion and that is a very tricky subject -- for some people the very inclusion of magic is enough to send them on a rampage, never mind dealing with it head on. Of course, others have no problem with magic but take offence to when you deal with it head on, and still more have no problem as long as one of the main characters share their view.


Style

Due East has a specific, purposely crafted style of its own and that's refreshing. You can tell that it's trying to be its own creation without help from anything pre-existing.


Conclusion

Due East is not for everyone -- while not 100% serious the comic is based on slice-of-life storytelling. If you are anti-religious you will not like it. If you are a bigot you will not like it (then again, if you're a bigot, screw you). If you want ninjas, robots, anime, cheesecake, or TNA you will be disappointed.

On the other hand...

If you like original styles, you will be intrigued. If you are generally interested in the lives of people, the down-to-earth story is something you should check out. And even if you're not into slice-of-life storytelling, but you're sick and tired of seeing web comics done by people who can't draw, only (try to) draw anime, or don't know how to tell a story, then it's worth your while to check out Due East.

This is my first review...but really I plan it to be more of a critique than a review. The difference between the two is that I'm not going to give it a rating at the end. Ratings are entirely subjective and are based on each individual reviewers experience in comics so there's no real way to compare one score to another. Reviews are for viewers so they can judge content before reading it. Critiques are for authors so they can improve. The former is of no concern to me.


Writing:

More than anything else this is where there are the most faults. I'll start with dialogue. Suffice to say it's very stiff. You need to better study how people actually talk, especially people who are close, and, more so for your story, people who were once close but aren't any longer. You don't convey emotion, or closeness, or more importantly the awkwardness of being around people with whom you're not comfortable through your dialogue. One exercise I suggest is to sit down and read the script to your comic out loud with you wife, each playing different parts. Even memorize it and act it out if you can. If something doesn't feel like something you'd naturally say, then it won't read naturally to your viewer. "Good night daughter" is a good example of just how stiff your dialogue can be. Why does a mother call her daughter "daughter" She'd be calling her by her name. And no one ever just up and says "good night" especially in lieu of concluding an argument. There are pauses that go there that indicate how she feels about the conversation and how she is ending it. "Good night daughter" sounds like a soap opera, which is a good summary for all your dialogue.

Let's move on to your character development or, more appropriately, your lack thereof. The real issue with this is your constant time jumping. You flash back, and then flash forward, and then go to two days ago, and then now, and then twenty years in the future, and you show a lot of events that are really unrelated to the plot of the story with the intention of fleshing out your characters. However all you end up doing is showing some of the events that happened to your characters, and very little in what kind of people these characters are. Often if I didn't read your author notes I had no idea what was even going on, or what I was supposed to take out of a scene. I strongly believe that the mother, is currently the most developed character, we've seen that she has strong opinions on things and why, conflicting emotions, and is rather impulsive. All of this is impressive considering she is one of the least seen characters. The rest of the characters are one dimensional at best. Part of this comes back to the dialogue. This time not in how your characters speak, but in what they say. It's the big difference between showing and telling. You can tell your readers all day long that this character is mad at that character, but unless you show the two interacting then as a reader, we won't necessarily buy it. You keep saying in the author notes "Here we learn a little more about _____" But we never really learn anything about them as people we just learn that they put on weight or that they took theatre for one semester. I took theatre for one semester, I needed an elective. It doesn't say anything about me as a person.

Next is plot. As far as I can see the plot is basically this. A broken family attempts to heal old wounds when they are reunited and, after a freak accident wherein she was almost killed in a storm a young girl has a vision and begins her path to find God. It's not really a bad plot at all. I'd actually go on to say that it is a more realistic plot than most comics have, that is, it actually mirrors real life conflicts. However a plot like this is heavily dependant on the actions of the characters in them. The conflicts are really internal ones. And when your characters are not well developed and their speech is so wooden it takes away from the rest of the plot. It's important to realize that to write strong characters you can no longer make them do what you want them to do. They have to act in character all the time, if they do something out of character it is noticeable. Your reader thinks "Well that's not like her, she should react more like this" even if only subconsciously.

Realism is another point I'd like to bring up. I understand the contradictory actions of Carolyn and her brother after their mother dies. However, heroin overdose isn't very realistic. I'm not saying people, or even mothers, don't die of heroin over doses. I'm saying that you know someone is on heroin before the OD. When you're addicted enough that overdosing becomes a concern, it's impossible to hide it. It's not just the heroin thing either, putting on that much weight in two months is as hard as losing that much weight in two months.

Art:

Suffice to say that I liked the pencil drawings in the first two books better than the color in book three. The art in the first two was shaded and textured, which looked good, it worked with the story. The color in the last book was very flat. You really have two strong options. One would be to go back to pencils, maybe color pencils if you want to move to color. The second would be to simplify your initial pencils and work harder on your inks. Your last couple of strips looked just awful, everything blurred together, and you seemed to rely more on gradients and photoshop effects (lens flare'd!) that generally take away from the page more than they add to it. Take a moment to think about how you want things to look, and not the easiest way to make things look "ok." Basically you've lost a lot of depth moving to ink and color, and that's one of the things you really had going for you. Early on the big problem with your art is that it is inconsistent. Characters are realistic so they all change their clothes, and such, but their faces are all basically the same. The only way to tell people apart is their hairstyles. And with the inconsistencies in your character models that makes it even harder to tell who's who. These inconsistencies are one of the hardest parts of characters design, and you've gotten much better at eliminating it over the course of your comic, but the beginning of your comic (especially a dramatic, plot heavy comic like this) is the first impression your readers will have and it sets the tone for the rest of the story moving forward, so it's unfortunate that it's so incomprehensible.

Production:
This also needs some clean up. The move from hand written font to computer font was a good one. Your hand writing didn't really convey any emotion and sometimes it slanted up, sometimes it slanted down, it got squished in your speech bubbles and interfered with the art. However your choice of font is a poor one. I'd recommend jumping over to blambot and finding a more appropriate font for your comic. Maybe VoodooDoll or something a little more thick and scratchy but still legible. Your panels are also very thin and scratchy, it looks like they were set up in a hurry, or like you got everything else done and you were tired of working on this page you just wanted it to be done. Use photoshop for digitally straight lines, map out your panels better before hand with crisper lines and angles, pay attention to speech bubble placement and for gods sake change that font up.

This all probably reads much harsher than I intend it to be. I do not think this is a crappy comic by any stretch. More importantly though, I can tell that you put a lot of work into it and care a great amount about it. It means something to you, and that comes across to the reader.

Good night daughter" is a good example of just how stiff your dialogue can be. Why does a mother call her daughter "daughter" She'd be calling her by her name. And no one ever just up and says "good night" especially in lieu of concluding an argument.

I have to disagree with you there -- I've heard the occasion where someone uses the term with a bit of ice. It's purposely cold and used to silence a potential argument when you refer to someone by what they are as opposed to their name. And yes, in a family situation.

kingofsnake
The rest of the characters are one dimensional at best.

You mean two-dimensional. I'm only commenting on this because one-dimensional is a serious slap in the face, and it's simply not true in this case. A well developed character is three dimensional, because the third dimension is depth (width, height and depth) which makes the character "real". If the characters are two dimensional, then they fit a typical comic-book frame that may be cliché. They have a handful of traits to simulate a character, but are obviously just a character -- much like a drawing, you can tell it's "not real".

One dimensional would mean the characters are so poorly developed that they simply do not exist. You get characters like that in "random" themed strips, where no emphasis is placed on character development, instead aiming only for surprise or the unexpected. You also get it in badly written fiction where characters are "evil" because "they're evil" or "good" because "they're good". They only react to anything in the worst or best possible way and that's all they do. (It fits "one dimensional" 'cause they basically can go in two directions and that's it.)

I'm not gonna touch on your other arguments because they have merit and got me thinking (stories based in real life are not my forte; I crave absurdity) but I just wanted to touch on something I thought was a bit strong.

smkinoshita
You mean two-dimensional. I'm only commenting on this because one-dimensional is a serious slap in the face, and it's simply not true in this case.

No, I meant one-dimensional, and here's why. You mentioned that two dimensional characters are generally comic cliche's and I agreee with that. For example, Gabe and Tycho are two dimensional characters. Don't get me wrong, I love Penny Arcade, but it's not a comic thats gotten popular because of it's character development. These characters, however, are not comic cliches, on the surface they appear to be analogous to real people, and attempt at a fleshed out three dimensional cast. But it's clear that the author has some goals in mind for the story, and thats fine, but in order to reach those goal's he's sacrificing honest character reaction, and thats not fine. The character's don't act and react like they're their own people, they act the way the author wants them to react. This undercuts any personality they may have otherwise had, and in a storyline like this that is heavily dependant on realistic characters, it therein undercuts the storytelling. Writing a good character is hard, because often once they're on they page, you can't make them do what you wanted them to do in the story, because it'd be out of character. If you have characters act in a way that is contradictory to their nature then it takes that belivablity out of a story that keeps the reader intrigued in the first place. Whether fiction or not the reader needs to feel that the conflict is played out believably, if it isn't they'll stop "buying" the story.

Not enough time is spent developing the characters in the first place, making them two dimensional. On top of that they occasionally act in a way that undercuts what little we DO know about their personality solely to further the plot, hence, one dimensional.

First of all, thanks to all who have done reviews/critiques thus far. It's what I asked for and it's appreciated.

kingofsnake, I think I know where you're coming from on this, but I would ask you to give the comic more time to reveal the details you believe are missing. There are things that have yet to be revealed about each of the characters. If you believe the pace of revealing those details is too slow or the use of flashbacks is confusing or jumbled, I can respect your opinion. My response is that things are being done deliberately, not to be annoying, but to relay specific points, details and personality information. This is essentially a big mystery that is slowly being solved.

In addition, while I take in all critiques and consider them carefully, I must respectfully disagree with your use of "one-dimensional characters" in association with Due East.

My wife and I recently discussed character development. Definitely expect more in the future, starting with Book Four.

Also, I agree entirely with Scott (smkinoshita) as to his interpretation of Crystal's actions with Brielle. It was intentional.

Being in an interracial marriage with biracial kids has given us a view of multiple cultures and how people of different ethnicities interract (not that we're experts or something). We try to convey that on different levels in different ways. I'm sorry if that doesn't always translate well.

These characters, however, are not comic cliches, on the surface they appear to be analogous to real people, and attempt at a fleshed out three dimensional cast. But it's clear that the author has some goals in mind for the story, and thats fine, but in order to reach those goal's he's sacrificing honest character reaction, and thats not fine.

Well, actually if on the surface they appear to be analogous real people, then they are not one-dimensional.

An example of a one-dimensional character would be ... say, any villain from Dragon Ball Z, or most villain characters from video games. The moment they open their mouth, you know they have no substance. They have no personality to speak of. The key difference between cannon fodder who only serve one purpose and a DBZ villain is screen-time. You can get away with a binary character like that if they will live approximately 5 minutes before dying or vanishing or otherwise no longer playing a part in the story. The longer a one-dimensional character stays on screen, the worse it is. The slap of "One-Dimensional" is reserved for the worst of the lot.

A two-dimensional character is a step-up. They have no depth, but at least there's some semblance of a personality. The fact that you thought people were sacrificing "honest character reaction" demonstrates they at least qualify for the second dimension. This includes writer's tool characters like the "exposition" character, the cliché character, and comic book villains and heroes.

And finally, the third dimension is when you add some depth, and it's not just the origin story. Magneto from the X-Men is a good example; I might think the writing is utter trash but Magneto was given a fairly complex background that reasonably explains his actions and allows him to develop and adapt. It's entirely possible to have a 2D character with a reasonable background of course.

My point: It seems me me that you just don't think the characters are reacting to situations like they should. In which case, that is maybe more a flow or plot problem rather than a problem with the character itself.

If I still haven't convinced you then I'm going to just chalk it up to a difference of opinion.

Great comic! Must chime in and add a review...

Writing (B+) - These is REAL LIFE comics and then there are "real life" comics. I don't think those comics that are in the real life genre can truly be 100% real life without adding a slight tweak for dramatic effect - I believe Due East does the balancing act quite well with character-driven stories! Much like a drama on TV where five minutes before the end of the hour, the hero comes through, or the cops solve the crime, Due East adds some easy closure to a chapter - yet the lingering questions leave enough remnants to begin a new chapter, plus add additional challenges for a family that is spiritually based. Issues of the heart, family and of course, the Lord...are consistently a centerpiece for this comic! It's not preachy and it's certainly not forced on the reader. That's good writing indeed!

Artwork (An 'A' simply for the evolution) - Going back through the archives, even the early black and white pencils are cool to watch. The best part about reading a comic that has spanned three years and some, 90 plus episodes is that you get to see the creators evolve in their style! The addition of color in the later episodes just adds vivid spice to a comic that is already unique in its visual delivery (Kudos to TitanOne for hisa assistance there)! Keep in mind also, I'm sure the challenge to anatomically create characters that are bi-racial (Black/Asian) was a task in itself. And how often do you see plus-sized heroines in comics these days that don't have to flaunt their assets to be compelling and intelligent?! Not many...an original concept around here.

Overall Production (A-) - There are not many spiritual comics here on DD. Then again, the idea of spirituality is left to the interpretation of the creator's own faith. From a Christian platform, I believe that Due East sets an excellent standard for that genre as well. With regular updates and stories that cook slowly...the flavors of this comic are indeed pleasing to the visual and intellectual palettes of anyone who enjoys a taste for something different among the wizards, robots, swords, angst and action of the other comics. It updates regularly, is consistent in the delivery...and has ANYONE bothered to look up or read the scripture in the comic's banner? Matthew 24:27? This is where the comic might not be for everyone...

"For just as the lightning comes from the east and flashes even to the west, so will the coming of the Son of Man be."

Even for those who find the Bible as just a piece of literature should think about what the theme of the comic means behind those words - I'll take a stab at how it relates to Due East...Lightning, when it comes on strong, is swift, bright and depending on where it strikes, is seen by everyone in and out of proximity! The twist is, we just never know when or where it's going to come and strike. I believe it relates to the Lord's judgment of man. The daily decisions humans make on earth and how humans will be dealt with when he/she finally meets Jesus.

Whether you believe in that, or the idea of "karma", it's quite universal in thought, hmm? And the issues the characters of DUE EAST confront (or not), are often met with results that do have an effect on their lives...even before the day of Judgement.

Keep up the great work, Allen! There is a feature in your future!

I am thoroughly impressed by your characters, there so much deeper then the character in other web comics I've read. It's a wonderful change. To be honest I think colour would make your comic more enticing, or even a sepia tone. EVen though your black and white is beautifully drawn and shaded fairly adequately some tint would just make it more....exciting? Also the first thing I noticed was the background, honestly I do believe this is the first time I've seen an online artist constantly put amazing effort into this section. The starting was a little slow but I like the development, it get's more interesting. Love it, keep up the amazing work. I have to be honest i only got about 12 pages in, But i skimmed a few pages after that. It is interesting but to be hnest the pacing is sort of slow in my opinion.

~Love Sugar

Solid comic. Solid. It's got likeable, yet real characters in relatable situations. Unfortunately, the shading style is SO VERY distracting. I know that what i say cannot possibly have any influence on what you do, because you can't just tell an artist to change their style, but just know that the shading style distracts one person out of a million and do with that what you will.

The text, for the most part, is legible enough, but the early ones were a little hard to read. No biggie though. I'm glad you switched over to a standard font. (Not that I'm against hand-lettering, it just seems like standard font works a little better for your comic!)

As for the pop culture references present in your comic... I love them! Usually I am a guy who hates pop culture references in comics and television. It's just so lazy! But you've found a way to make them interesting and put a new spin on them, without danger of becoming overly-reliant on them. The comic still is focused on it's characters over all else, and that's what all great entertainment is: character-driven.

Some of the poses and motions which the characters use seem a little contrived or awkward, but I think that the organic dialogue makes up for this in a big way.

Are the characters based on real people? Because if they are not, you have a serious gift. This gift of which I speak is a gift for creating believable things from scratch. This particular comic is a great example of the way which you create an entirely realistic, believable world: http://www.drunkduck.com/Due_East/index.php?p=256754
Who doesn't know someone who has gone through something like that themselves?

So anyways, making comics is definitely the place for you, friend. Either that or writing for television. (G-d knows they need good writers!)
Grade: B- (Room for improvement!)

Thanks blntmaker, Sugar Cookie and Johnnyrocker, I appreciate all your comments, compliments and suggestions.

To answer your question, Johnnyrocker, none of the characters are directly based on real people. After creating them, I realized they had some traits of some people I've known but the characters' experiences and reactions are their own.

I'll stick with comics. I don't see myself doing television writing. :)

Oh and blntmaker was spot on about the meaning of the scripture in the title banner. Congrats!

I think Due East is a fine comic, definitely worth an afternoon's read.

Art: To me, it seems unfinished. That is the style, but when I look at the art, it seems incomplete. It's solid, but could use some work. Maybe some reference would do some good. More often than not, the characters have a 3-head instead of forehead. The coloring is hit or miss. Sometimes it's not so good, and sometimes it's just right. I noticed a lot of earlier pages, the perspective was repetitive and usually straight-on-two-point perspective. Not in itself a bad thing, but using that over and over kind of makes the art stale. You can see later on, the evolution of the pages and yes, it does get better. It's actually quite refreshing to see the improvement.

The backgrounds are nice, and the attention to detail is there. Book 2 page 12 has a image of a car, obviously reference, and looks excellent.

Lettering: Nobody notices good lettering, but everyone spots bad lettering. I think you might want to glance at a lettering tutorial. The word balloons are terrible usually. I know you're doing them by hand, but they're awfully rough and well, sloppy.

Story/writing: Ah the heart of this project. The characters are very well defined, you know them through and through. I read that you didn't base them off of real people, so that's a quite a feat to know them so well. The dialogue is good and doesn't bog down the story. Sure sometimes it meanders but not to a negative effect. I think people would like Due East in it's originality and it's departure from the sci-fi/action adventure story. Due East doesn't need the 'prop' of those other genre's, it makes its own.