Dragon Chapel

A Mighty dragon who has kept the lands safe for a long time dies, but not before giving birth to another dragon who will succeed it. A cherub gets the task of delivering that egg to a temple to prepare it for Guardianship.

"Dragon Chapel" has got a nice fantasy setting and a potentially good world going so it could prove to be interesting further on. At the moment however, with the available 20 pages, we know very little what is happening. The author actually had to explain the plot in his author comments which is never a good thing.

The plot we DO get told in the comic is very sparse and it may be deliberate, but at other times it almost comedic how "in your face" the plot is told. On this page for example the girl just casually explains part of the backstory. **VIEW PAGE

The dialog is for the most part told in a old fashioned fantasy tone but now and then turns into a more modern day speech like on this page where the hero is informed in almost a military tone. **VIEW PAGE

The artwork has a Manga touch too it, the "Dragonball" influences are obvious, which can be good or bad depending on ones taste. The main problem with it is that all human characters pretty much look the same. The main hero is supposedly a she, but who knows.

The pacing is slow and a page has typically only 2 or 3 panels per page. Ideally i would wish to pack it up more, make the panels smaller and include more of them since the huge panels really doesn't have that much detail to warrant the big size, but it is obviously a deliberate choice of the author to have it this way.

The art is nice and clean, which is a great strength. The really bright pages and the washed out artwork gives it a style but a lot of the time it looks too sketchy and unfinished. The backgrounds are sparse but works great to set the mood but i wish we could have more settings shown as we rarely know where we are.
In this scene we just find ourselfs in a room without knowing where they are or how big the room is. It could be a great hall in a castle or a tiny room in a cottage.**VIEW PAGE

The art lines are often thin and always break up in parts leaving spaces here and there. It is obviously an active choice but i really don't see the point or charm of this. **VIEW PAGE

On certain pages it is hard to know what is going on. On this page i had to look for a long time before i could tell that it was an ear and an insect/monster in it.**VIEW PAGE

On this page i have NO idea what is going on in the first two panels. I see a hand in there but what is happening?**VIEW PAGE

The cover is horribly clashing with the rest of the comic. It's flat colors and simple artwork in combination with the childish text is no good way to start this interesting comic.**VIEW PAGE

Overall i find the premise of the comic fascinating and I will definitely follow the title to find out what happens next.

Dragon Chapel review


Art
Very good line art, nice and tidy. The simple lines work well enough however it would benefit from tones or colour. Like the page in the link, it doesn't quite work as it is.
http://www.drunkduck.com/Dragon_Chapel/index.php?p=791018
Sometimes though I find I have no idea what is going on in some of the panels.
What is going on here? I honestly don't know but I think it involves the map, maybe.
http://www.drunkduck.com/Dragon_Chapel/index.php?p=790391
The art is good but could be a lot better with tones or colour, it just feels incomplete as is.
I really like this page as it is that works well as just line art.
http://www.drunkduck.com/Dragon_Chapel/index.php?p=791417
The art is appealing but just needs a little more thought put into the layouts and either better shading, tones or colour. Based on the cover I would say tones would be better, the colours there are a little too bright and basic.



Writing
Why Does Every Word Begin With Capitals? That aside the writing is sometimes clunky but has some charm to it. Simple and straight forward enough it hints at a (possibly) well thought out setting. Which seems to mix furries with cherubs and dragons. As mentioned the scripting is a little clunky, especially the exposition, which consists of 90% of the text that has appeared so far. There really isn't enough to really give a decent review on the writing yet but it has promise.

Overall
It has promise and Catcha man is clearly a good artist, it just needs a little mortime to develop, as such I'm not giving a numbered rating at present but will when the story has advanced some more.

I really do appreciate the reviews. I don't add tones or color mostly because I can be incredibly impatient with my own comics, and like to update as frequently as I can. I actively chose to make this an almost straightforward adventure comic with a very common manga look, although I will admit that some of the pages can be quite confusing, mainly because (again) I was too impatient at showing enough panel-by-panel, but I know that's at the detrement of the comic as a whole. I should honestly slow it down and explain more.

As for the dialogue, it was a personal preference that each word start with capital letters, so that the reader would be able to (if the words are really small) distinguish them better, but I'll change that.

For me the main pages that needed something were those that tried to convey a light and that's really hard without shading of some kind.

Yeah, you're right. I'll use some grey to convey shade from now on in the comic.

I like the art. It's simple, but I love the expressive faces and the minimalism. There are some amazing panels in this comic that show the artists knows their stuff when it comes to drawing 'people'. (And such a wonderful, wide range of people/humanoids, many of whom look unique and compelling.)

The writing is where I have issues.

The plot seems interesting. There is a compelling story that this comic is trying to tell. But having a good story/plot is only part of comic writing.

The dialogue, which is how the story is explained to the reader, is terrible. This is the big weakness of Dragon Chapel for me. The speech, particularly at the beginning, is forced and clumsy. It doesn't provide enough clarity in terms of the plot, or explain what the characters are doing, and why they are doing it. The silent pages are the ones that work best, which shows again the strength of the artwork. Whenever the words appear they get in the way somehow, making the whole thing seem clunky and ill conceived. Although I did notice some improvement as the comic progressed.

Overall. This is the work of a very talented artist who appears to have an interesting story to tell. The writing, particularly in terms of dialogue, is not of the same calibre as the art, but does seem to be improving. Keep it up.

I'll be sure to create more personality with the dialogue, and I'll try to clarify things a Lot more just so that people aren't confused with half the pages I post. I admit I'm no writer, that's for sure, but I'll certainly do better as I progress!

Art: I like the style. It's simple in feel, yet can be complex when looking at it at times. Honestly, your opening cover is notoriously deceptive from the rest of the comic. This could be because of the color, but when I first went to read it, the cover was kind of oversimplified. It really doesn't give a good showcase of what's to come artistically.

Anyways, I think the best representation of what you can with your art are seen in the final panels of http://www.drunkduck.com/Dragon_Chapel/index.php?p=797827 and http://www.drunkduck.com/Dragon_Chapel/index.php?p=798481

They are very expressive in detail and just good to look at. There are other spots similar in feel, but those are the 2 that came to mind.

Writing: While I understand the basic story, there were a few things that didn't make sense to me. This could be caused by the still developing storyline, but there were some areas that I think could use some improvement. For example, the introduction of the villain kind of just appeared.

I think this could be attributed with the exit scene of Miara. The bug thingy just appears later on, so there isn't a sense that he was following her. There should maybe be something that shows he has been there keeping tabs. It's a small detail, but I think in stories like these, the small details make a huge difference and help with understanding the story more.

Overall, I like it, and it has loads of potential. Just work on getting those smaller details done and it might help tell parts of the story that may be missed. I didn't have an issue with the dialogue like others did, but I can understand where that could be an issue as it is simplistic and up front in some cases.

Keep up the good work. and can't wait to see what you do with it :)

I find pacing to be a bit tough at times, determining when to cut away from what the main character is doing and showing what's going on in other places that's relevant to the plot. I gotta practice patience in drawing those smaller details, that's for sure.

I'd going to begin by saying that I read Dragon Chapel to about page 23 or so, around the time it was first posted up for review. Upon rereading it today I'm happy to see a lot of nice improvements! It looks like the author is taking the advice in these reviews to heart.

Art: Charming. I can tell you have good control over your inking materials, which is something a lot of us lack. The lines are really pleasing, this page really uses them well, the last panel has a lot of motion. I agree that the comic would/does benefit GREATLY from simple shading. The use of shading on this page for dramatic effect is really excellent, the sharp edges on Miara in the last panel are lovely! I can see that you're trying to convey soft light in this page but I don't think it works as well... I think it's because it kind of clashes with your crisp lineart. There are a lot of good examples of comics with greyscale shading, but the now defunct Sokora Refugees did a really nice job of it. I've used this comic for shading ideas more than once, lol. Maybe you'll find it inspiring too. : )

The style fits the comic well and I'm digging your diverse character designs. The only thing that's been bothering me is that... well... I wasn't sure if the main character was female or not until someone said so. I noticed that all of the humanoid female characters had very thick necks... I don't want to judge right away because this is a fantasy world and it may just have to do with their species, but giving the females more slender necks (and maybe eyelashes) would make them seem more feminine in an anatomical sense. : )

Writing: I'm SO happy you started using anime ace as your font. The pages flow so much better!! I'd suggest going back through at some point and changing the font on the older pages, it'll make the comic look more connected.

The story itself looks like it's going to be pretty great. While I was first reading through it I was reminded of various fantasy manga/manhwa, which made me feel nostalgic and "safe" (as in, the plot would be pretty straight forward, but would be a fun ride.) The more recent pages, however, seem to imply that shit just got real. And I love it. I feel like there's a very complex world at work here and the layers will slowly be pealed back to reveal more and more. I'm excited to see where this is going.

The only thing I want to point out, which others already have, is that the dialogue is a bit clunky. It is charming and easy to follow, but the flow gets a little weird from time to time. This might not be your case, but some people who have read a lot of manga end up with a clunky writing style, simply because they've (unknowingly) become accustom to reading things that have been translated from Japanese to English, which has a different speaking flow to it than native English. The rule of thumb is to start a new speech bubble with each breath or pause in speech... try saying things out loud before you actually put them in the comic and see where you take your pause, it might not be where your mind is telling you it is.

Overall: This is a very good comic that seems to only get better and better! It's still early on, but I feel like Dragon Chapel is on the right track. I'm glad to see the author is open to suggestions and is working to improve his craft. Keep up the good work! : D

hehe, I'm surprised at how easily one can identify a certain font, although, for the pages that used comic sans, it won't be possible for me to redo them, since I permanently delete most of the pages I work on after I post them, simply because I prefer to keep movin' forward..."What's done is done", as one would say.

I saw what you meant by the shading when I looked at Sokora Refugees. I'll be using that comic as a helpful reference for my later pages, that's for sure.

I think if I make the converations sound more natural (taking into account the personality of each character), while at the same time attempting to explain some finer points that might come across as 'text', then my writing will show that Improvement.

I thank you for the input!

As for the main character looking ambiguous, I'll try to make her look more "girlish" later on. The thing about classical looking cherubs, though, is that they Do look ambiguous, and that's what i've tried to portray her as. Kinda like how a male cherubs will look like females when you go to a cathedral.

hehe, I'm surprised at how easily one can identify a certain font Lol, I use it for my pages too, it's a fantastic font. : D
As for the main character looking ambiguous, I'll try to make her look more "girlish" later on. The thing about classical looking cherubs, though, is that they Do look ambiguous, and that's what i've tried to portray her as. Kinda like how a male cherubs will look like females when you go to a cathedral. I totally get that... knowing that she was a cherub is definitely part of what made me unsure in the first place. I'd just give her short eyelashes to clear up the confusion and be done with it. : )