I would really appreciate it if I could get some honest crits on my comic Despotize. Anything at all that will help me improve as an artist, as long as it's constructive!

Thanks so much for the time

--sz

Link to Despotize

http://www.drunkduck.com/Despotize/index.php?p=345012

Heh. It might be kinda out of line, but I gotta say- that topic title is kinda... sexy.

I only looked at the first ten and last ten pages (just the art, not the story), and honestly, I'm not sure how nit-picky you want to get, but here's a couple things I saw, glancing over:

There are some proportional issues with your figures- not all the time, but enough that I noticed. You tend to elongate arms; I don't think it's a stylistic thing, because it's not consistently done, and not in proportion with the rest of the figure- on most people, the elbow's going to line up with the bottom of the rib cage, and the wrist with the top of the pelvis. That was the main thing that bugged me.
There's also some places where the backgrounds look a little rushed, or a table is in proper perspective, but the glass/cup/etc. on top of it is just... there.

That's all I got for you quick-like. If you want me to get into more detail about anything, or point out specifically where I'm seeing this stuff, or if you wanna rip my comic to shreds in return, PQ me or something. ;)

Hyena H_ll
Heh. It might be kinda out of line, but I gotta say- that topic title is kinda... sexy.

I only looked at the first ten and last ten pages (just the art, not the story), and honestly, I'm not sure how nit-picky you want to get, but here's a couple things I saw, glancing over:

There are some proportional issues with your figures- not all the time, but enough that I noticed. You tend to elongate arms; I don't think it's a stylistic thing, because it's not consistently done, and not in proportion with the rest of the figure- on most people, the elbow's going to line up with the bottom of the rib cage, and the wrist with the top of the pelvis. That was the main thing that bugged me.
There's also some places where the backgrounds look a little rushed, or a table is in proper perspective, but the glass/cup/etc. on top of it is just... there.

That's all I got for you quick-like. If you want me to get into more detail about anything, or point out specifically where I'm seeing this stuff, or if you wanna rip my comic to shreds in return, PQ me or something. ;)

Haha, yeah, the topic name was somewhat a joke.

Proportion, it's always been my weakness. I thought there'd be some noticeable difference from the first to last pages, but I guess I haven't been practicing enough. That's my priority one then! Starting now I will focus more on anatomy to make sure I can keep my proportions cosistant

Backgrounds, hehe, I knew that'd come up. I will work on my backgrounds as well! I'm not sure where to start though, should I copy draw some reference pictures to get a feel for that sort of thing? Or what would you suggest?

Thanks a lot for the crits, even though you did a quick look though, I'm sure that they're 100% accurate. I will focus on what was mentioned so hopefully I can improve my art.

I really appreciate you taking the time :]

Okay, sorry if this is getting lengthy:

No, your proportion does get better; I'm just being nit-picky, like I said. One question about your figures- do you draw the form first, and then "clothe" it, or draw the clothed figure straight off? A lot of times, trying to draw clothing without first drawing the basic structure of the figure beneath can throw you off. Another thing that helps me is that I do all my pencils for a "chapter", then go back and ink 'em. Enough time has past between drawing it and coming back to look at it, that mistakes look really obvious; it's hard to step back and get a fresh eye on things when you've had your nose to the paper too long. Sometimes even a fifteen minute break will help you clear your mind and look more critically at what you've drawn.

As far as the background stuff goes- I don't think it's a huge problem, just something you've got to be mindful about. Like I said- the parts that stand out as not-so-great look rushed; like you could have drawn it better, but lost focus. (This happens to me with backgrounds... a lot.) But I would suggest two things- first, study (and I mean really analyze and pick apart) how artists you admire do backgrounds. Backgrounds don't always have to be super complicated- sometimes just a few lines can suggest a figure/ground relationship. And get really comfortable drawing space/objects/figures in perspective- I think that's the difference maker, really. Especially from the last few pages, it looks like you can draw perspective fairly well; sometimes it's just a matter of taking the time to do it.

Oh, and I do like your stuff a lot. I should say that, too. ;)

No, it's completely fine. I really appreciate your thoughtful responses!

I do draw the form first. I always make sure I have the manikin sketch laid out before I start on details. I could get better though.

I do agree with drawing all the pencils first. Like you said, it gives you time to and you're able to look back later with fresh eyes. I did that for the last chapter, and it worked fine. But now, my problem is that recently, my comic spiked in popularity within the last chapter(it wasn't much but it's better than it's been) so I feel pressured to keep constant updates. Even at the cost of skipping the step of penciling all of the pages first. I guess I should just take a step back and rethink my stance on this. It's probably better for the comic, if I get the pencils done first, and then start inking, instead of completing a page every few days.

Doing backgrounds I tend to rush because I'm eager to finish and post it, I do need to take my time and make sure they're better.

Thanks, and again, I really appreciate you taking the time :]

Alright I gave Despotize a read-through, so here are the things that stood out to me the most.

-Your faces are awesome. Great job on varied faces for each character and the expressions are nice.
-Earlier on you had a problem with arms and hands, usually related to perspective. It became much less noticeable as I kept reading.
-You have some great attempts at special perspective shots, especially during the fight in the park. Most of it comes off pretty good, nice job.
-Loved the choice of showing the force of his gut-punch with the broken park bench. It wasn't blown away in an exaggerated DBZ fashion, but gave just enough of a realistic break that made me go "whoa!"
-I didn't care for your switch to markers at first, but I think that has cleared up as you've gained experience using them in your comic. I think you'll do very well with more work.

The last interesting thing I noticed is that I was able to read through Despotize very quickly. This is a very good thing, because I only slow down reading when something is either really cool or really bugs me. Basically that was all the points listed above.

Regarding the writing itself, the very sudden switch of 7 and 8 to Zero's side was a bit confusing and almost disappointing. When 9's death was revealed, that he had to get out to the battlefield and kill himself just to deliver a secret plea made me think it was really dangerous to leave Despotize. It seemed like there should have been a longer turnaround for 7 and 8. On top of this, I wasn't aware Zero really had amnesia of any kind, so a sudden "I remember" and everything's OK seems like... a bit of a deus ex machina.

Anyway, that's one minor gripe in a story that will go on for quite a bit, so I'm not too worried about it. Nice comic :D

Thanks for reading though the whole thing. :]

I'm glad you can see some improvement from the start to finish. Hopefully I do get better with the markers soon. Maybe it was too early to start using them in the main comic...

Someone
Regarding the writing itself, the very sudden switch of 7 and 8 to Zero's side was a bit confusing and almost disappointing. When 9's death was revealed, that he had to get out to the battlefield and kill himself just to deliver a secret plea made me think it was really dangerous to leave Despotize. It seemed like there should have been a longer turnaround for 7 and 8. On top of this, I wasn't aware Zero really had amnesia of any kind, so a sudden "I remember" and everything's OK seems like... a bit of a deus ex machina.

Anyway, that's one minor gripe in a story that will go on for quite a bit, so I'm not too worried about it. Nice comic :D

Haha, you know when making the pages, the time between them was sooo long I felt the opposite. It'd good to hear stuff like that coming from the readers perspective, because I can't really go back and objectively look at my comic. I can see how that is sort of a cop out.

On the whole Zero amnesia thing, yeah, it was kind of lame, but in this latest chapter he has a long talk with 1 and I think I might be able to crawl out of the hole I dug myself into.

Thanks again, I honestly appreciate honest feedback. It helps me know what I need to do to improve and gets me really pumped up to make more pages.

I hope you can look forward to more pages

I'll keep it short and sweet, I didnt really find anything wrong with it, its not like there are consistent problems its usually just one or two things here and there that you may have slipped up on, something that over time i think will correct itself. Overall, its really good art, i thought in the beggining with the whole "super soldier" thing was gonna be a little cliche, but actually this seems like a really good story!

sorry if i wasnt much help!

ShinuZero
Haha, you know when making the pages, the time between them was sooo long I felt the opposite. It'd good to hear stuff like that coming from the readers perspective, because I can't really go back and objectively look at my comic. I can see how that is sort of a cop out.

Haha I'm exactly the same way. My GUNS.L.I.N.G.ER only updates weekly so it feels like everything takes AGES sometimes. My writing so far is probably somewhat skewed by the length of time between pages, too. :P

Your characters have personality but lack depth! But I still like them.

Saillestraife
I'll keep it short and sweet, I didnt really find anything wrong with it, its not like there are consistent problems its usually just one or two things here and there that you may have slipped up on, something that over time i think will correct itself. Overall, its really good art, i thought in the beggining with the whole "super soldier" thing was gonna be a little cliche, but actually this seems like a really good story!

sorry if i wasnt much help!

Thanks a lot. It was help, I really appreciate your thoughts!

I'm glad it didn't turn out too cliche!

Sajomir
Haha I'm exactly the same way. My GUNS.L.I.N.G.ER only updates weekly so it feels like everything takes AGES sometimes. My writing so far is probably somewhat skewed by the length of time between pages, too. :P

Hehe, that's the suck part about making comics, it takes too much patience!

the2ndredbaron
Your characters have personality but lack depth! But I still like them.

Thanks ;P

I hope I'll be able to add depth to some of the characters!