Well, my first post that has something to do with the site.

For a while, I've been holding onto this idea for a comic, essentially something I hope to one day have worked on. It's essentially what I consider how people would truly act if they were granted super powers. What I have written are basically a summary of sorts, and a rough proposal I'm working on. Please critique as you see fit. I'm interested in what doesn't seem necessary, what you like, don't like, and especially how I might actually write this in comic form, as well as change the proposal to be more appealing to the big leagues.

Note, this is copy and pasted from Word, so I'll be posting in segments to 'nice it up'.


edit - you more then likely will see some overlap between post. Also it seems that simply copy and pasting doesn't fly all the time, so sorry if things look a little confusing.

Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.

- Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865)




Second String

Introduction.

Comics have plenty of good and bad guys, but few if any explain well the processes one goes through before that character becomes either good or evil. Second String tells the tale of two men who follow similar paths with different outcomes. The reader is given the story of what perhaps might happen along with the pressures of being in a position of power.

Robert Hemeran and Nathan Rebus are two men who missed out on the American dream. Neither millionaire actors nor even mediocre musicians, both face dead end jobs for which they are subject to the heels of those around them. The two have much in common, though they have never officially met one another, it just so happens they live in the Big Apple, New York. A city protected by the worlds’ one and only super hero, Justice, a sparking beacon of hope for the entire world, who shows good in all his actions.

Completely oblivious to both Robert and Nathan, Justice is in fact a tired old man, and decides once and for all, he’s going to put his cape to rest, and split up his powers against two chosen ones as they see fit. It just so happens after a series of test, that both of the young men are chosen to replace the world’s only hero, but can two young nothings accept the burden of a world that depends on them?

The idea of this mini-series is to give near equal time to both Nathan and Robert as they discover their powers, and rediscover themselves with these powers. Both, though sharing some distinct similarities also have completely different surroundings that help to reflect their true character. Also, the powers each get are entirely different from one another. In the end, upon both discovering who they truly are, they meet for a final confrontation between one another.


Summary.

Robert sees himself as a loser; he lives in a poorly furnished apartment across the street from the very community college he graduated from. A full time retail hound, his boss is inane, his work arduous, the only joy he has at the end of the day his seeing his attractive neighbor Jayme just as she’s walking into the building. She thinks low of him, but he doesn’t care, he can always look.

Nathan sees himself as flying a space ship, or saving that damsel of distress from certain doom against impossible odds. Needless to say, Nathan is something of a day dreamer, though his job as a by phone tech supporter allow him time to dream, it still doesn’t make his hopeless situation any better then Bobby’s. Socially awkward and alone, Nathan dreams of his great escape but has never set anything into motion.

By coincidence, it would seem, both men cash their checks at the same bank, one that, on a day and time they both just so happened to show up to, is being robbed by several armed thieves, they’re dangerous, and they’ve taken a hostage, a beautiful brunette.

Both men spring into action, Robert, finds himself shaky and almost unable to approach the thieves, who easily beat him down. Nathan, acting more so on his dreams rushes the robbers as well, until they point their weapons at him, bringing him to a halt as well.

Before both men are dealt their final blows, Justice arrives to put a stop to the thieves’ actions, just in the nick of time.

Unknown to both Robert and Nathan, the whole robbery was a stage, a test by Justice to see who should replace him, the attractive hostage was his grand daughter. The thieves in a comical twist were actual thieves, but the Justice had them under control the whole time.

Asked by the attractive brunette they ‘saved’, both men arrive at separate times to a bar. Shocked to find the only attendants besides them are the bartender, and an old but kindly looking man. The old man is in fact Justice, and he has a proposal for them. That each will get half of his powers divided among them equally.

Nathan jumps at the chance to accept the offer, though Robert, on the other hand, is more hesitant, reflecting on the fact that his own fear nearly got him killed earlier that day. Upon realizing this, Robert simply asks for the courage that Justice has, to face the world and those around him, this, I would prefer is kept a sort of secret to the reader for some time, until near the climax of the story. Still somewhat oblivious to one another, Nathan and Robert go their separate ways at the end of the night, each not expecting the changes each will feel in the morning.

In the beginning of discovering their powers, the story goes for a more comical outlook on things; Nathan can barely keep from crushing things he touches, as one of the many powers he has received was super strength. Robert, on the other hand, acts oblivious to the feelings of those around him, more so caring about his well-being, which, in his mind, hasn’t been very well taken care of.

Nathan immediately heads off to fight crime. Justice had many powers to spare, so he takes it upon himself to surveillance the city. While taking his post, his mind goes to day dreaming again, thinking of all the fame and friends he’ll gain for his heroic efforts. He thinks to himself, that maybe he’ll get a chance to meet that cute brunette again.

Robert more so happens upon crime, though, this time, he has the courage to do something about it, making differences in the lives of those around him. The thing about Robert having courage now, is he’s now willing to act on the things in his life that have been hampering him for so long. He tricks his way into Jayme’s apartment, taking her extra bedroom, and meets again with Justice’s granddaughter, whose’ name happens to be Jenet.

Robert develops a rather coy and witty attitude around the girls, but he’s serious when things need to be that way. Jenet directs Robert to Officer Greeves, a sort of Commissioner Gordon type character who has followed her grand fathers’ career rather closely. Greeves is a self-appointed hero expert, he himself, carrying a mask he dons at times to give himself confidence in certain situations. Both Jenet and Greeves become advisors to Robert, who isn’t afraid to admit he needs advising on this who ‘hero thing’.

Nathan, in the mean time, is pretty much going at this having super power thing with something of reckless abandon. It slowly dawns on him he’s not going to get exactly the fame he expected, but he keeps making adjustments to himself so that it seems ok. Everyday he discovers new powers and ways to control him. Seeing as how Robert only took courage, that left Nathan with a slew of crime fighting mechanisms, from super strength, flight, to telekinesis, Nathan is a living power house. He too, discovers Officer Greeves, but doesn’t take his advice as well as Robert does.

Nathan acts in a way that represents a sort of mockery of some Golden Age super heroes, having a rather skewed self-image of himself, he stops for poses, pictures, and the like.

Nathan lets the hero thing get to his head, but one problem he soon starts to face is he can actually hear about every bad deed as it happens on the planet. Still, he tries to keep a smile on his face, to be a positive role model like Justice was. This is all brought to a screeching reality check, when he finds a criminal he let loose (believing he taught him a lesson) upon a brutally raped and battered woman. Going into a temper tantrum, the page goes black; we can only assume the worse for the criminal.

Meanwhile, Robert finds himself in a stand off with several convenience store robbers, he can easily face them, even fight them to some degree with skills he’s picked up along the way, but he’s easily outmatched in this case, and things are looking bad for him as one of the robbers pulls a gun on him.

Just as the robber is about to pull the trigger, Robert blinks, and finds the man staggering and falling to the ground, apparently foaming at the mouth. The robbers around him have all died of mysterious causes. Bewildered, Robert calls in an ambulance, and returns home, to bed. Only to awaken to discover the worst has come.

Nathan has decided to take it upon himself, to simply do away with crimes as they are immediately happening. The news channels are reporting deaths all over the country. Using his telepathic powers, Nathan has the world in a state of fear.

Though he is selecting only criminals. Robert can’t have this go on for any longer, and knows he must confront Nathan, get him to stop doing what is wrong.

It is here where Roberts’ powers are revealed to the reader.

Against the advice of Jayme, who has developed a sort of romantic interest for him, Robert goes into the city, to a large corporate building Nathan is operating from. Seemingly waiting for him, are Jenet and Officer Greeves. Jenet informs him of the situation, and Greeves, against Roberts’ wishes, chooses to accompany him (with his mask on) into Nathan’s fortress.

Dealing with security forces quickly, Robert comes across the ‘throne room’ of Nathan. Officer Greeves finds himself stricken with fear, and is unable to enter the room, leaving Robert to move onward by himself. Nathan, knowing that Robert is the other hero, and is quite jealous of the fact that he’s gained as much if not more fame then him over the past few months challenges. After slapping him around the room for a bit, Nathan is furious at Roberts’ unrelenting resolve to stop him. Stopping himself, Nathan decides to forgo his power, and decides that they both shall have a duel of sorts to prove who is right.

The end result, Nathan is left on the ground, crying out at how unfair this turn of events is. Robert emerges outside, to his friends, and half the city waiting for him. Bypassing the eager press, Robert walks into a car with Jenet and Greeves, who are waiting to whisk him away from the chaos. Hoping to lighten the tension of the ride, Greeves states that Good beat evil once again, to which Robert casually replies that it was ‘more of tie’. This results in an odd look from Greeves, who discovers a gunshot wound in Roberts’ abdomen. Whilst Jenet is screaming at him to stay alive, and Greeves is calling in an ambulance, Robert simply grins, and shuts his eyes.

End.

Story outline.

It’s my hope that we could keep all of this within 12 issues, each issue would switch around characters. The first would have to share Nathan, Robert, and Justice. The second would continue to first, afterwards, things would be divided up. The supporting characters, would also receive issues as well, as to give them background, and flesh them out.

Issue 1 – Introduction.

Issue 2 – Introduction.

Issue 3 – Robert discovers the advantages of his powers.

Issue 4 – Nathan discovers advantages of his powers.

Issue 5 – Nathan fights crime, Officer Greeves is introduced at the end.

Issue 6 – Robert encounters Jenet, she introduces him to some ‘combat training’.

Issue 7 – Robert is introduced to Greeves. Nathan lets criminal free.

Issue 8 – Jenet back story. Shows what she does, what she thinks of her grand father.

Issue 9 – Officer Greeves’ back story. Tells the story of how he got his mask from Justice as a kid.

Issue 10 – Nathan encounters the criminal he let free. Beginning of finale.

Issue 11 – Final confrontation.

Issue 12 – Final confrontation, conclusion.

Characters

Robert “Bobby” Hemeran The series co-protagonist. Bobby, a community college graduate, is the type of person who lost out on the American dream life. He lives in a shady apartment, which has seen better days like him. He isn’t necessarily cowardly, but he definitely doesn’t have the backbone or wit at hand to put him in better situations. He has a reasonably attractive neighbor, Jayme, who often is just there to scorn him.

After receiving his powers (courage) from Justice, Bobby improves his life on many fronts, using his new found back bone to muscle his way into better situations for his personal life. He finds better luck with careers, women, and still finds time to halt the occasional crime.

Aside from courage, Bobby doesn’t have any special powers; he’s just as mortal as the rest of us. Bobby also isn’t incredibly fit either, though he doesn’t have too much of a beer belly. Once he earns his power, he goes on to ‘acquire’ a gym membership. He also reluctantly purchases a single 9mm pistol. He doesn’t take on a secret identity, and it isn’t necessarily required that he has to, as his encounters with crime aren’t as glamorous or well publicized as Nathan’s.

Nate “Hero” Rebus: The series other co-protagonist. Nate’s life can be seen as almost parallel to Bobby’s, only with a few key differences. Nathan has often been a day dreamer, and a long time follower of news about the character Justice. His problems with life aren’t necessarily handled by the powers bestowed on him by Justice, which, were originally meant to be split up equally between him and Bobby. Bobby, taking the sole power of courage, left the rest of the powers to Nathan.

After receiving his powers, Nate goes on a sort of ‘ego-rush’ making a mockery of classic crime fighters, stopping for poses, and applying needless phrases to situations. However, as things progress, we find that the pressures of being the reliant factor for many desperate situations begins to tear him apart from the inside. He soon finds somewhat more desperate and file ways to fight crime, resulting in a final showdown between him and Bobby.


Justice: Justice is the reigning champion of (city) a super hero with near infinite powers. Flight, super strength, telepathy, you name it; he’ll have most of them. Though he could easily stop a crime on the other side of the planet with a single thought, he prefers to put himself out there as a symbol for hope.

Justice decides though, that his time to retire has come, and it’s more than due, as articles found suggest that the hero has been around for since before the Second World War. Wanting to retire, but not wanting to leave the world without a since of hope, he devises a way to give his powers to two young men, who will hopefully carry on some sort of legacy for him. He picks Nathan and Bobby out by a test, in which he put a persons’ life in “peril” and he picks the two people who acted the best to his evaluation in the situation. When he does give up his powers, he steps aside, and takes on a mentor and over seer role.

The Justices’ alter-ego has a more soft spoken side, with a look of reflective ness upon his eyes, looks like Gene Wilder.


Other Characters

Jayme: Pronounced like ‘Jamie’. Jayme is Robert’s neighbor whom creates a sort of sexual tension for the character, though romance is never suggested, as she is more of a nag to the character. She attends the same community college Robert once did, which is across the street from their building. Her family takes fairly good care of her, so her place is better taken care of. Upon receiving his power, Robert moves into her spare bed room so that he can afford a crime fighting life style. At first she is taken aback and frustrated by Roberts’ actions, she later softens up and becomes a sort of “Alfred” for the character, taking on a more concerned stance.

Jenet: Justices’ grand daughter, though she doesn’t have any special powers, she seems to help her grand father out whenever she can, while he reluctantly lets her. Though she is just a ‘typical’ girl, she considers herself an expert on being a kind of, ‘hero advisor’. She currently studies history, works as a bartender, and teaches Tae Bo at a local gym to the elderly.

Officer Greeves/Officer Z: Officer Greeves is a cop approaching middle age who questions a lot of things around him. The soul reason he became a cop in the first place is because of his adoration of the hero Justice. He takes it upon himself to serve as an observer of the two boys in question, though it’s mostly an unspoken agreement. He carries a mask with him that may have been given to him by Justice. Like Jenet, he works as an unofficial, ‘hero advisor’. From time to time, he dons the mask and assumes a hero like persona. Often when the focus is on his character, he goes into a sort of narration of scenarios, often over exaggerating certain points to make them more dramatic then they really are.

Someone didn't read the "Comic Review" forum rules. :) Sorry, this isn't quite what this forum is for. I'll move this thread to "Comic Discussion" where I think it's more appropriate.