Okay, so your here get this. I've got a couple of good examples for you, is anyone here familiar with the brand of running shoes called Puma? Its an awesome brand they are light and sleek, come in all kinds of colors and have a cat logo on the sides.
One day we went to our Grandmother's apartment and she brought out a couple of boxes of womens Pumas, one teal and one black pair. She said a friend of hers bought them, but they were not enough support for her bad back. She offered them to us, I got the black pair. As far as I was concerned I scored, but I can't imagine a little old lady shuffling around in a pair of Pumas.
So on to the point. A few days later after breaking in the shoes, ( I love when the soles are stiff makes me walk like penguin ). She comes up to me and asks " What kind of cat are on my Pumas?" She was serious, what do you think the cat was called? Can any of you top this? I think not.
Just in case there is someone out there who does not know what a puma is, its a large cat. It can also be called a cougar or mountain lion. More examples coming soon....

Yeah. When my brother-in-law was holding a pack of bottle rockets on the 4th of July, he suggested throwing some Black Cats ( The brand of firework he was holding. ) into the neighbors back yard to piss him off. He held up the package as he said it and the first thing to come from my sister's mouth was "wouldn't the cats just get out of the back yard through the gate?"

As Homer Simpson would say, Dope! The only good thing I have going for me in the ditz department is that before I could ask the same question about the cats, my brains slowness would not let me say it in time to be laughed at.

I'm actually glad I caught this post. My friend once told me that Pumas aren't real and they're actually a fake cat that the brand name invented, dumb me for believing!
I have some best friends that are major ditzes because I went to a school with 40 kids in a grade (therefore I'm friends with people I wouldn't have even talked to otherwise).

Dumb sister stories?

I have tons.

To sum up my sister's offenses though:

- She has nearly been raped at the age of 16 by a Honorable Iraq War Vet in vegas who was slipping her booz, full well knowing her age. He was roughly 25.
- Driven a car THROUGH the house.
- Skipped class so many times that one more offense would have warrented her removal from Utah's educational system, and landed her ass in Juvinal.
- Gotten drunk at 3am and drove around a 14 year old in my car. She became violent when I tried to calm her down, breaking fixtures in the home and attempting to hit me. Her friend and I stuffed her into the back seat of the car and I drove her 14 year old friend home. On the way back my sister becomes irrational, and determines that she wants to go to jail as opposed to facing my parent's wrath. She tries to commit suicide by jumping out of my car at 50mph. I barely pull her back into the car before she can make the jump. Later that night she calls the police stating that she's drunk and wants to go to jail. I have to talk to the cops until about 5am. She is given a ticket and has to pay about 500$ in court fees and take drivers ed over again. She continues to boast about this whole situation as if it's something to be proud of.
- Doesnt believe in stop signs, has nearly wrecked thanks to this at least three times while I play witness.
- Has been chased on foot through town by the police for skipping class (this was before the above incident, these are largely out of order)


Theres more, but they're mostly small things. One of my favorites is when she took a full bottle of weed killer and just dumped it all over the lawn in order to kill the weeds. This is one of those ultra concentrated bottles, and it ends up killing most of the lawn it's self. She later does the same thing, only by putting the chemical into a spray bottle my mom uses on her hair and spritzing the garden. This kills the flowers, and later my mom's hair.

Indeed its a real cat, and the 15 californians that get attacked by them every year would agree!

What to say to this hhhmmmmm, my condolences to your lawn and your mother's hair as well. As for your sister maybe everyone on Drunk Duck would be nice enough to cross the fingers on one hand in hopes that she will mature and grow out of it? If not maybe they can reinstitute electro shock therapy? It would be a good deterrent to some of these behaviors..... Oh and I live in Vegas I'll watch out for those old Iraq vets.

Oh I'm not done yet. I have at least one more good one to throw out there, this story takes place once in the long distant past ( 2005 ). I used to work at a Jewish deli, we served traditional and nontraditional Jewish foods. For example we served matzo balls, hallavah, briskets and corned beef/pastrami sandwiches, but we also served hot dogs covered in cheese and bacon ( not kosher! ).
AAnnnyywwaayyysss after many nights of coming with my parents to pick me up at night, and I assume seeing the Orthodox Jewish community she asked a question about their beliefs.
It went as follows "Hey you know those little hat things the Jewish people wear on their heads? You know the Moccasins?" I couldn't believe she said that ONE! She meant yamaka, someone top this story I dare ya!

I've always thought the cat was a panther but whatever, I'm always clueless but cats are my favorite animal. I love Ligers they are huge and REAL and if you guys don;t believe me check youtube. It's amazing what things can happen with cross breeding and hybrids. anyways, I thought the puma cat was a panther but now I know it's a puma. Silly me!

John Jr.

Yeah, I read an article about ligers a while back! It's neat the way their genes work out and make these gigantic cats.

I've seen ligers on TV, and no not just Napoleon Dynamite. I saw a special on Animal Planet, I wonder why the combination of lion and tiger DNA makes a cat bigger than the two of them. Crazy genetics, Imagine what the old Romans could have done with a liger. Maybe they could have liger chariot races, or just use them to eat Christians. You know those Romans, always using hungry animals to fight thier battles/eat people. What can be said.

One zoo keeper says to the other, "I think we need a bigger litter box". He is promptly eaten.

How I envy you all, I have a brother.

I have 5.

So so sorry, I can't understand your pain.....

Why the christ would I want her to turn out ok or learn her lesson?

Fuck her, she can rot. It's what she gest for being an idiot.

One can only take so much from one who does not learn. As my parents would say, just do what you should and be concerned with your problems. Sometimes I think I would be happier if I could listen to that advice. I'm the knuckle head who cares too much... :C

I hope he doesn't use your socks for unmentionable things like mine does.

Okay so here is one of my worst airhead moments. Once I asked my Dad why the people at the liquor counter at the Super Walmart got to sit down all the time at work. He said they are sitting because they are in wheelchairs...... oops. This is one of the things I'll have to worry about on my judgement day, I'll be like "Heaven looks nice, may I come in?" Then Heaven will put an EPIC FAIL sticker on my face, and roll me down the nearest cloud enbankment. My muffled voice will yell "IT WAS A MISTAAAKKKEEEEEeeeeee!"

So what IS the cat on the Pumas?

I told my sister gullible wasn't in the dictionary.

She went to get a dictionary.

It's a puma, lol. I didn't know until earlier in this post either.

Here we are, this visual representation should be helpful.



As well as this link to a wikipedia article......

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Puma_(genus)

It seems that the name puma is a genus name for the Cougar, Mountain Lions, and the Jaguarundi. They are pumas even though they differ slightly by their looks and environments.

There you HAVE been educated!

Aw, really? That trick is so old it has dino excrement on it. Still you should be thankful she knows how to use a Dictionary, I swear the Internet is making people stupid. You ask someone to look something up in the dictionary for you and they are like "there is a manual system for looking up information? Its called a book.... No way!"

Here where I live, it's that faggot-filled 'uncyclopedia' that's making all the teens stupid. The drugs don't help much either.

I completely refute the idea that the internet has made people supid.

Actually, I believe I can answer that one. It turns out Ligers are only viable when pairing, I believe, a female tiger and a male lion; the opposite just doesn't work. Anyway, the genetic "inhibitors" for size are coded into the reproductive genes of the male tiger, and the female lion. They simply don't stop growing, though sadly they suffer some very serious physical problems because of it.


Ahem, but anyway, ditzy sisters. I actually don't have any sisters of my own, but I do have a step-sister who's pretty dumb. To keep myself from ranting too long, I'll just focus on the part of her ditziness that ended up affecting me: her driving. After she moved away I was given her old car to drive; a very classy Chevy Nova. Unfortunately, it was in terrible condition because she was a terrible driver. She had an odd tendency to read while she was driving. Why she thought she could do that was anyone's guess. Sometimes she was doing homework, so I guess she's just trying to save time? There's also the super-girly stuff, like putting on her makeup in the mirror, etc. She also thought that if you went over a speedbump fast enough it wouldn't count, and during one of her adventures she actually broke the brake fluid pipe, and was almost unable to stop when she got home. Fun times.

I fill mine with coins and sand, sometimes salt, and hit people.

What does yours do?

Even so, I wouldn't trade them in for sisters. They worry about me like they're my body guards and that's a pretty awesome feeling

A story not about my sister (who is intimidatingly intelligent) but my friend's.

My friend's brother comes in his new car; a Volvo. The sister went out to admire it and spent the rest of the get-together raving about how wonderful the "Vulva" was. My friend and his brother did not correct her, she just got increasingly curious as to why they couldn't keep a straight face.

Irony: my sister drives a Volvo.