Retake - The story of one man, made world-famous by his portrayal of a legendary real-life superhero from the 50-80's, the PowerPatriot. But all is not well, for Brad Stone feels something is missing in his life; he can no longer feel satisfied with donating the majority of his ridiculous wages to charities, he longs to be something MORE, to be like the hero he pretends to be on-screen.

The appearance of a mysterious belt changes all that, and alters his life forever. Now, as the superpowered Relik, the big-time actor is face with real-time issues as he discovers that crimefighting is not as easy as the movies would have him believe and that, in a life-or-death situation, there are no 'Retakes'.

Created and Written by David Brett-Andrews
Creative Input and Art by Dan Butcher (http://mrhades.drunkduck.com)

http://www.drunkduck.com/Retake/

Overall, I like the poses and the variety on the angles. The style feels superhero comic through and through. However, there's something - and I can't quite put my finger on it - but the main character doesn't quite feel like he belongs in the same reality as the rest of the characters. Something about the way he's drawn, or maybe colored. It got a bit better as it went along though. He felt a little flat and pasted in for those first few pages. But overall, the art's nice-looking and really clean, and I like the use of color.

Watch the text. Some of the panels were getting crowded, and there were a few where I was having trouble focusing enough to read the text. I'd suggest don't change the size and spacing of your text in a page unless it's meant to convey something, usually a change in volume or speed. On page 5, it felt like you were doing that at the top, but then in the remaining panels the size was changing to accommodate how much text you were trying to fit in. Text in panel 5 killed my eyes. If they HAVE to say that much, add more panels, put in another page, let the text breathe a little. I don't think it's a bad thing, as the dialogue feels pretty easy-flowing and incorporates a lot of character unto itself. Don't stifle it.

Page 8, that window he's rolling down feels like either it's backward as compared to the top panel, or he should be on the other side of the car. Maybe it's just me.

Overall, looking pretty good so far, and my comments are meant to be taken with a grain of salt anyhow. Good luck!

Thanks for the crit mate. I whole heartedly agree with the comments you have made. Punching out two pages a weeks is certainly taking it's toll though! Hopefully my art and Dave's writing will take Retake to new heights

Thanks for taking the time to check out Retake!

Long-belated BUMP! Lol...

Well, I was going to start a new thread, but that would probably have broken a rule or something, so I'd much rather ressurect this one instead! Issue 1 completed some weeks ago, and Issue 2 starts on Monday 16!

So, yeah, same [plug/crit] going on here...

Dave

What the hell, i'm gonna bump this again..

Anyone?