It's near that time of year again. Y'know... the presents, the fat guy in the red suit, those sexy female elves, and...

the Fruitcake! AUGH!!!

Every year my uncle sends me fruitcake for Christmas. And I'm left trying to figure out what to do with it. I find the thing very hard to eat. Not that it's bad... well, okay. So I just don't like fruitcake.

I plan on bringing my fruitcake to work when I get it so I can use it to deal with drunkards. How about you?

My grandma used to send a fruitcake every year. It was really yummy, but that's probably an exception to the rule.

Um...you can use it as a bludgeoning device! Or leave it on the counter, and my roommate's boyfriend will eat it (since he's like a vacuum cleaner).

Well, that's my plan. Unfortunately one of the things I do on the job is to deal with wayward and violently aggressive drunkards who show up during the holidays. And since fruitcake isn't classified as a weapon... hehehe...

I've never had, nor gotten a Fruitcake, but if I did...
...
...

I don't know what I would do with it...

ditto. you could use it as a paperweight? or just plain throw it out without telling your relative.

Oh, the usual. Set it on fire and do a tribal dance around it.

Cover it in oil and light it. HAPPY NEW YEARS!

lol I actually did that last year...

If I ever get a fruitcake I'll do the following.

1. model it for a sprite to be used in my comic
2. smash it with a hammer
3. do what Puff said
4. vaccum remains
5. take remains and mix with concrete and make a block
6. take block and blow it to peices
7. repeat step 4
8. dump remains into Missouri River

A fruitcake? I don't know... I guess I'd share it with my family. I don't think I've ever eaten a fruitcake before.

If I don't like it, I could give it to my cats. They'll like it.

Bah...my grandmother makes Pan de Pasqua(teehee spanish)....and my parents love it. But it's bleh, so fruitcake if not eaten is forgotten...and chucked into the trash or wrapped and given to someone else.


I'd love to be able to set it on fire...though...

cut off a piece...zap it in the microwave shortly and eat with some warm plum sauce.
Yum.

Well, since there is fruit in it, we could say its some kind of acient jeweled tribal rock.

Leave it in the open for about 6 months ot let it harden.
then use it as a weapon.

i bet the thirty or so chickens we've got running around our farm would looooove fruitcake.

but since i'm at my dorm room instead and i'm poor and can't afford much, i would probably end up eating it if it was edible :P

Usually I eat it. I accept whatever food I can hold of and I'd probably starve if I started getting fussy over small issues like edibility.

Feed it to the cat.

Fruitcake is gross.

I AGREE.

Totally.

Last year's fruit cake got lost in the garage and when we found it a colony of ants had set up home inside. This year I'll try and avoid it at all costs.

eat it and turn it into poop

I'd use it as a door stopper, or maybe a wheel chock.

I hit people with it.

What do you mean "turn it into poop"?


I'm pretty sure it's mostly there already... I mean, it smells a lot better, but with all that dense, fibrous dried fruit I'm not sure how much digestion actually occurs...? :P

I will sell mine to buy this months Nickelodean Magazine. KC Green & HPK collaborated on something called the wizard brothers that made it into the comic. Congratulate them on making it into the magazine form of nick. I for one welcome out evil viacom overlords!

I'll use it for jailbait.

Actually, I think there is only one fruitcake in existence, which would explain its unusual texture and hardness. It just gets passed around every year to someone different...

Fuel for my giant robot.

wear it as a hat and sit in the woods and get close up pictures of the animals that come to eat it.







then, eat the animals.

Lolwha? No I kid. But I don't get fruitcake so I'll do nothing to it.

Eat it with pieces of cheese. It's delicious.

Marinate it in rum then eat it with cream.

Then wonder why you didn't just drink the rum and cream.