Much like Chuck Norris jokes, we will tell jokes about how awesome Riot is because he is awesome and our awesomeness could never match his. Such as...


Mr. Riot is so strong that when he does push ups, he doesn't push up...he pushes the earth down!

Your turn!

Mr.Riot's tears can cure cancer..too bad Mr.Riot never cries.

Mr. Riot once allowed the Queen of England to sit on his chair. After a few minutes he promptly removed it causing the Queen to fall to the ground rather unceremoniously.
She got up and thanked him for allowing her to use the chair for that brief moment in time; and that being so close to him was like a slice of heaven on earth with shredded angel sprinkles.

When god said "Let there be Light!", Mr. Riot said "Say Please first."

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Mr.Riot allows to live.

Mr. Riot doesn't play god. Playing is for children

Mr. Riot doesn't sleep, Mr. Riot waits...

However, if Mr.Riot does sleep, he sleeps with a pillow under his gun.

What was going through the minds of all of Mr. Riots victims before they died? His shoe.

Mr.Riot's blood is pure alcohol. Drinking said alcohol is said to give the drinker the ability to breathe underwater. It's a shame that no one has ever gotten close enough to do so.

Mr. Riot went to visit the virgin Islands. Now they're just called the Islands.

The sun doesn't shine on Mr. Riot, Mr. Riot shines on the sun.

Mr. Riot isn't hung like a horse, a horse is hung like Mr. Riot.

The Bermuda Triangle is actually Mr.Riot,Zac,and Volte6 in an epic game of hungry hungry hippos.

Every night Arnold Schwarzenegger crys himself to sleep, knowing that even in his youth his muscles were never as good as Riot's.

Mr. Riot is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

After taking one look at Mr. Riot all future Mr. Universe competions were deamed unnessesary

DaVinci's paintbrush was said to be made of the beard of Mr. Riot. It's really how he was able to make all those pretty paintings.
How was Mr. Riot alive during DaVinci's time?
easy...Riot is eternal.

Mr. Riot recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.


Mr. Riot doesn't have furniture, he has Chuck Norris.

Holy crap, guys...these are hilarious!

Hilarious....and true.

Even the energy drink one!?

Mr. Riot is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

They blame global warming on green house gases we let go into the atmosphere. This is untrue, Mr. Riot was just cold and felt like turning up the heat.

You know the the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after reading Anti-Social by Mr. Riot.

No comment.

Here is evidence that people were worshipping Riot as far back as Ancient Greece:

Back then they called him Zeus.

When Riot hits someone with his chair the person dies instantly. Thus no one has been able to tell the tale.

This is a lie however. One person has survived to tell the tale. All he could say was "Ouch that was awesome." Right after those words his head exploded from pure awesomeness.

(These are the reasons why I am not on team Zac.)

I am never drinking redbull again... lol

I got the Red Bull one off a website, but I came up with the furniture one myself.


Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Mr Riot.

Mr Riot can slam a revolving door.

Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1MRFCS (Mr Riot Folding Chair Slam).

Another group of scientists claims to have built a time machine and gathered video evidence that proves that the Big Bang was a MRFCS. Unfortunately, the camera was destroyed by the sheer glory of it.

Riot doesn't trip, the ground just wants to hug him because he's awesome.

Doors that are welded shut open for Riot if they know what's good for them.

Riot doesn't eat food; food spontanously jumps into his mouth as a willing sacrifice.

Riot's folding chair was made with his own bare hands.

Riot's folding chair used to be known as Chuck Norris.
((The previous two were inspired by the furniture and Queen o' England jokes.))

The moon doesn't revolve around earth, it revolves around Riot.

Riot's comics don't have readers, they have worshippers.

(All these I made up, though I might have been thinking of other jokes when writing them.)

Mr. Riot created, and has since exceeded the set power limit of niiiiiiiiiine thooooooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuussssaaaaaannnnndddddd!!!!!!

Mr Riot built the tower of babel one weekend when he had nothing to do. He tore it down shortly thereafter because it was almost as tall as he is awesome. He was quoted saying "Nothing can measure up to my awesome. Even something *I* built."
It's said this was his single most humbling experience.

When the Bogeyman goes to bed at night, he checks his closet for Mr. Riot.

Gravity is the Earth's way of showing respect to Mr. Riot.

The world spins because Mr. Riot said so.

No, that isn't a MagLite in Mr. Riot's pocket, and actually, he isn't even glad to see you.

The Audubon Society has begged Mr. Riot to keep his shirt on when outside, since even the briefest glimpse of his shining abs causes birds to fall from the sky.