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Member:1,233
Posts:108
Joined:1-26-2006
Seen:11-23-2009
May 9,`07 2:38am | Quote |

I think this is the right forum for this? Anyway I drew this from a one page script done by bbearcounty a user on a site called penciljack.com (that's not a plug I swear). This doesn't fit into any of my webcomics so here you go, please point out all of the horrible anatomy and storytelling problems you see.



EDIT: The image shrunk when I posted it so here's a slightly bigger link
http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d124/literacysuks1/js484.jpg

This post was last edited on May 9,`07 2:40am

Go read my superhero comic...because I told you to
http://www.drunkduck.com/Acrobat/

 
Member:19,716
Posts:184
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May 9,`07 10:27am | Quote |

Oooh, very nice, I really the shading and the poses ^_^

Though if I had to the picky...Batman's right arm on the fourth panel looks really small and his pose in general seems a bit...off

Other then that though, the page looks great

 
Member:51
Posts:2,957
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Seen:10-29-2009
May 9,`07 3:54pm | Quote |

Your poses aren't exactly incredibly dynamic. Your having two badasses fight...by just standing acroess from each other and throwing things?

The last panel would work better if you could see more of Batman, maybe trying to kick moon knight in the face. I'm guessing you didn't do that because of lack of anatomical knowledge of how to draw that. However I suggest using reference at first when drawing fight scenes. It pays off later. I would also make the lines around Moon Knight thicker in the last panel because he's closer to the viewer.

This post was last edited on May 9,`07 3:55pm

http://ccs1989.deviantart.com
http://www.drunkduck.com/Berserk_Final/

"If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours."
-Henry David Thoreau, Walden
 
Member:1,233
Posts:108
Joined:1-26-2006
Seen:11-23-2009
May 9,`07 7:14pm | Quote |

Like this?

I did batman as a silhouette because I liked how it made him look more like he was enveloping moon knight, though I could have made him bigger. Thanks for assuming it was a shortcut because I didn't know how to do it though...
Also I was just following a script, the problems like Batmans arm being small the other person pointed out are valid and need to be fixed but I can't help that they're "just standing across from each other and throwing things". I'm not ignoring your critique I can thicken up the lines on moon knight and get some reference but that one part just hit a fuse : /.

This post was last edited on May 9,`07 7:16pm

Go read my superhero comic...because I told you to
http://www.drunkduck.com/Acrobat/

 
Member:51
Posts:2,957
Joined:1-2-2006
Seen:10-29-2009
May 10,`07 3:58pm | Quote |

Alright yeah that works better. I was sorta envisioning something like this:


Although I drew this on the computer so I had to use stick figures. I think the jist of it is still there.

http://ccs1989.deviantart.com
http://www.drunkduck.com/Berserk_Final/

"If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours."
-Henry David Thoreau, Walden
 
Member:1,233
Posts:108
Joined:1-26-2006
Seen:11-23-2009
May 12,`07 9:26pm | Quote |

Yeah I get what you mean now. I'll keep your thumbnails in mind if I ever go back to this but when I do it won't be soon, because doing it now feels less like revamping a page to look better and more like drawing the same thing twice...and that's never fun.

and heres a page I just drew for acrobat so that this bump isn't toally useless




EDIT: yeesh that page has a pretty awful tangent I hadn't noticed. The guy in the background who is bending his leg looks like it's going into the guy in the foregrounds leg.

This post was last edited on May 12,`07 9:27pm

Go read my superhero comic...because I told you to
http://www.drunkduck.com/Acrobat/


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