Hey peoples! I didn't want these header messages lost to the ether, so I've archived them here:
"So there."
-December 17th, 2009
"ElectroWonk (n) 1. that thing with all the computers, y'know, with the emails and porn all what not."
-November 30th, 2009
"If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you have three kinds of potato chips, maybe you can read... this Blog."
-November 16th, 2009
"...Nope, can't think of anything. Try again next week. "
-November 9th, 2009
"The Internet's Number One Home for Stupid and Pointless!"
-November 2nd, 2009
"The Great Joe Bivins will return in Unpopular Blog Against the World Crime League!"
-October 27th, 2009
"SERIOUSLY."
-September 21st. 2009
"VOILA VIOLA MANDOLA MANDOCELLO BANJO TROMBONE RIB BONE ANKLE BONE FEMUR FEMA HURRICANE KATRINA 9-11 THERE I'M TOPICAL! AND NOT AT ALL INAPPROPRIATE EITHER!"
-September 11th, 2009
"maverick: (n) 1. someone who uses time travel to confuse genealogy websites."
-August 10th, 2009
"TROUBLE! TROUBLE IN BLOG CITY!"
-June 3rd, 2009
"YER NOT THE BOSS O' ME!!"
-May 28th, 2009
"--HEADER MESSAGE INTERRUPTION TERMINATED!!--"
-May 22nd, 2009
"Hey at least I started this one. Not like my Star Trek comic. That one was DOA."
-March 1st, 2009
"La gale verruqueuse de la Funk!?"
-February 26th, 2009
"The laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamp."
-February 18th, 2009
"Yesterday was the First Anniversary of the Big Day!"
-February 16th, 2009
"Happy New Year from that weird thing on my back!"
-January 1st, 2009
"WHO'S GOING TO HIT ON CAPTAIN PICARD NOW?!?"
-December 19th, 2008
"My eyes...THEY'RE FALLING OUT!"
-December 14th, 2008
"My butt has a message for you, bend over and listen up!"
-December 5th, 2008
"Ack I burnt my tongue! WELL FUCK EVERYTHING! Stupid delicious Eggo Bake Shop Swirly things with hot strawberry filling!"
-November 30th, 2008
"FUCK YO MOMMA! PRESIDENT OBAMA! HA! My favorite exclamation now rhymes with the name of a President! That's a benefit I never foresaw!"
-November 5th, 2008
"I'm absolutely serious Alaska. You guys are on thin ice. HA! ICE/ALASKA! HA! I'M PRICELESS!"
-October 30th, 2008
"THE ANSWERS TO LIFE ARE 1. A 2. B 3. E 4. C 5. A. DON'T TELL THE TEACHER I LET YOU CHEAT OFF ME."
-October 26th, 2008
"I think it's time we did something about Paris Hilton. Maybe we can shoot her off into the Sun with Sarah Palin? Speaking of which, I think it's time we shot Sarah Palin off into the Sun."
-October 11th, 2008
"The Great Joe Bivins' Unpopular Blog: It tastes so much like Coke it's scary!! Y'know, cause it's not even a liquid!!"
-October 2nd, 2008
"Nobody better touch my sandwiches. Lay a hand on my sandwiches and you'll lose that hand. I'm going to put my sandwiches in a bear trap and put the bear trap in the refrigerator so my sandwiches stay cold and that way if you try to touch my sandwiches you'll be grievously injured. I'M NOT FUCKING KIDDING."
-September 22nd, 2008
"FUCK YOU I DO TOO KICK ASS. FUCK YOUR NAY-SAYING. I'LL KICK THE ASS OF YOUR NAY-SAYING ALL THE WAY BACK TO NAY-SAYERSTONFIELDVILLE."
-September 16th, 2008
"I neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeds a trackball."
-September 10th, 2008
"Cut that out. Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about."
-August 31st, 2008
"Why don't you shut the hell up? I hate you."
-August 21st, 2008
"Moustachioed in Spirit."
-August 13th, 2008
"Not a song by the Steve Miller Band."
-July 28th, 2008
"Wikipedia will destroy us all: THIS IS A WARNING FROM THE FUTURE."
-July 24th, 2008
"A Blog by Reverend Doctor the Great Joe Bivins, Licensed Rocket Surgeon and Pope of Awesomeology."
-July 11th, 2008
"Now coming to you from a DIFFERENT secret undisclosed location!"
-July 4th, 2008
"JOE BIVINS JOE BIVINS JOE BIVINS (JOE BIVINS!)"
-June 27th, 2008
"ZOMBIES DON'T RUN. DON'T MAKE ME TELL YOU AGAIN."
-June 23rd, 2008
"Thirty-one teeth and falling."
-June 21st, 2008
"Is there anybody out there? If so, can you spare a square of toilet paper?"
-June 15th, 2008
"WORDS!"
-June 9th, 2008
"CAUTION: SHARK!"
-June 4th, 2008
"A planet where Unpopular Blogs evolved from man?!? IT'S A MADHOUSE!!!"
-June 1st, 2008
"From out of space...a warning and an ultimatum AND three kinds of potato chips!"
-May 27th, 2008
"Don't panic! The Great Joe Bivins is here and he's brought three kinds of potato chips!"
-May 24th, 2008
"WARNING: This Blog has been shown to cause creeping demonic possession in lab animals. Contact a priest immediately if symptoms develop. To prevent the spread of the illness, infected extremities should be amputated immediately, preferably with a chainsaw."
-May 21st, 2008
"WARNING: Studies show that many readers of this Blog are homicidal cannibal freaks high on PCP. While these individuals by no means represent the majority, all Blog readers should be treated as dangerous and hungry."
-May 17th, 2008
"The Great Joe Bivins is not responsible for lost or stolen items. The Great Joe Bivins reserves the right to refuse service to anyone named Brian."
-May 11th, 2008