Evolution Summonisation Organisation Hallucination? Explication Protestation Raven's lowest ebb Confronteration Corneration Reunion Met with a raven, with eyes black as coal... ... not a comedy troupe Cool punk gear An uncomfortable situation More than just a source of drinks Encampment Ragna lays down the law. Hildegard That horse'll be coming out of a tin! A misunderstanding is perpetuated Reporting successes. Alley-slipping Balls Flirtation It's that hussy! Boo! Hiss! Oog. Gulp... Femur and fury Gloop. Psychedelic Technicolor Berk Scientific testing Broccoli Cosmique! Déjeuner sûr l'herbe Shifty characters Illicit research Not the smallest pillock, nor the biggest, but a pillock and a half! The saga begins Fortification before exposition Something shocking Babies = yucky Cameosity Mudslope Sabbath Talk to... well, some part of me that's actually part of me. Exhaustification Radiant... jewels Decoy! Red-headed trouble in a green bandana It means "Hear Ye, Hear Ye" A good outlook Relational strain Flashforward Plunge Shrug Ears for the pulling A turnout for the books! The Elvish 725 724 723 722 721 720 719 718 717 716 715 Decision making process A package with a message... and a half! Racing Gnome Fishful! Steadhome found, hours belated Backflash Oh Auteur dezes voelt zich altijd zo Wythllew and Ottar don't get it Leroukh makes the Understatement of the year 1001 Aerial attack The Corbies hire staff Introducing Ottar! Yule dinner, Corby style! Harold Mirror mirror on the wall The Queen has had her say Standoff-ish. Actually, the Queen amuses herself ... there is usually confusion. Where there's smoke... Woof! Tempus Sugit Fading from Grey Hot Flash! Carrying torches Sparks will fly Captive Elves Singeing off a few years Into the Fire! WAAAARGH! Those baths, those awful baths! Making do with what you have "I'm a Librarian!" - "So go back to Libraria!" The lived-in castle Atra's sensibilities are put into question Sticks and stones Cave paintings Not all women need a lot of time to pick their outfits It rhymes! Groan... Alligator guard Potzenmacher? Silent city Can-do attitude! Wyrmlike exposition 'Off with her head!' Conference Vanishing act It gets wyrder Balls-to-the-wall witchcraft! Bouncing and pinging Skylla, meet Charibdis Crossed-out commoners Wythllew makes friends and influences people The faerie and the earth-pig! Wythllew's perspective Meanwhile, Guðrún is having difficulties Ethelfried's dilemma, and the certainties of her guest Hmmmm... Tamlin has had his say... Recapitulation (again) and oh, there's a naked guy outside the window Tamlin gets a keen if skeptical hearing Ethelfried is pretty kurt. More equal rules of engagement are established Wythllew and Leroukh (cont.) Wythllew is puzzled, and gets rooked Something's going 'pop' in the forest. Guðrún reaches her limits Ethelfried has another guest The Footman's Cold Shoulder Tamlin's Progress ... and settles in A daily routine resumes... Meanwhile at Leppiäinen's Angry vicious Atra The mood darkens... Update Proud parents! - The Corby Tribe Niiniis Cooldown Coming out of the sauna.... with a glow ... ... ... The Midden and the Windmill Maternity More of Sari's bedside manner Ethelfried summons her courage Zip Ragna meets an old acquaintance Hodie Mihi, Cras Tibi Stressfest Mrs. Leppiainen upholds the standard Upheaval Debriefing Tamlin Officially Needs a Cold Bath Sweat and Swelter - Sauna Opera Epilogue Homecoming Tentacles! Facepalmeration and mufflification The Dragon once again shows his unique perspective Vegetation Devourments I've been reliably informed that the answer to that question is yes Even the dragon propositions Kel! Interlock Eat your heart out, Niccolo Macchiavelli! Thygmophilia The hair never lies Tamlin Reminisces Gnomian intrigue continues Guðrún, Ragna, Derek and JoBeth! Booz'n Boots? Kel drives a hard bargain ... and you thought YOU had problems! Big ol' dragon Kel wakes up with all her clothes mysteriously still there Evidence of absence Crows can count, recognise people, and tell lies! Rave... Meanwhile, at the Corby Cottage Bath and Beer Dragon Dreams Blinkies Framed Matrix Crossover Day Seven Framed Matrix Crossover Day Six Framed Matrix Crossover Day Five Framed Matrix Crossover Day Four Framed Matrix Crossover Day Three Framed Matrix Crossover Day Two Framed Matrix Crossover Day one Kel wakes from a dream, and then it gets weird. Eldritch purple glow, but why a duck? I'm a whack job, oh yeah. Hypnagogic depression Little Cottage in the Woods = not good Mags thinks on her talons Of course she does! Wait... Oh! The door! Nachos! Got nails? That's what you get... Not quite a dogfight, but close. No! Not the toothless gag! Did I mention that you shouldn't mess with pregnant Kel? Thrakattack! It's probably because kittens can be vicious... Bugger me! That's what the McGuffin looked like! Don't mess with pregnant Kel! She... wants... to... WHAT?? She wants to WHAT? The forecaster hadn't mentioned they'd be green "Occasional" naked faerie? As if Groy would ever adopt micro-taxes. Quartz is a crystal... Balls! Balls everywhere! Where did I hear that phrase before? Ahem. Woof. When someone you know turns out to be a celebrity... Psychedelic! YOU! NEED! VOLUME! IN! THIS! JOB! You always start with that. Waking up Screaming Herding! Dolphins and Dragons Epiloguosity Endfulness Confuzzelation. And alcoholisation. Whatwhatwhatwhatwhatwhat? The name of the Great Gourme is invoked. ... and the flamethrower goes 'woof' Kra and Kel, in one universe Tempt the untemptable We're glad too Poor, poor Tamlin! Here's a chance to make it, if we focus on your goal Did I mention Jodoque's sudden interest in dung? Panning out Kccchhhk! So. Doomed. Ethnic slurs are used. Or something Fine Gnomian hashish Eat your heart out, J.R.R Tolkien! Jay communicates Jake's instinct for spotting naked women raises some more eyebrows Jodoque's sudden interest in dung raises some eyebrows What a boor! What the flaming Futhark on a buttered stick? Black and white haircut = bad news Well, wouldn't you be skeptical? Lunkhead redux This is a joke, right? Conspiracies are phat! Why's she averting her eyes like that? The Corby Clan Epilogue Monks are monky It's quite allright. The chosen one always rejects the prophecy Notsodevius Campbell is a brand of soup. Grovel Clerical Underground I suppose they're pretty lucky Consternation and dearbordomification ... and where did Dag get a huff? Weren't they ALL unpleasant people? Lingua Franca incomprehensabla Wring that neck, baby Urban sophisticate Tamlin A mystical instrument? It's a genuine Eriksson! Bellyfeeling Dag's fate "Trusty" Leppiainen? Atra rains on a parade Log cabin plans - Babble Banter Brouhaha Oh God Oh God Oh God Toothless Crocodile Pit Who's the weakest link? Mr. Whippy Wrong, it was you But but but... what are the rules? Rrreveal A surprise, of sorts Pillars in a circle, uh-oh Widescreen Jerome Bosch Thwak! # 2 Why not abandon all fear? Thwak! #1 An unwelcome guest - The Weakest Lunkhead Archery 2 - Archery 1 So what was it you wanted to tell me? C'mere... closer... You go first. No, you. Ragna, Kel, there's something I've got to tell you Who's the Visigoth? You're back! We bred trolls! For the souvenir market! Tamlin? - Yeah? I dunno... we just had a good gender balance going... I demand that you put me down! Come all ye fair and tender girls... Found anything yet? Not enough soap, I think. Uh-Oh! It's getting unstable! Ohshitohshitohshit! Whaddayamean, you hate magic? Er... thingies. Whatever. Mandrake Root! Eye of Newt! Agar-Agar! Drool of Toad! We'll brew a potion to sedate those two. Mudbath! Carbuncle Cthulhu! Guards! Hang Guðrún by her ears and lower her slowly into boiling oil! Hahaa! Oh, no! Oops! Burn in hell, flea-infested mongrels! Bad! It seems to be getting narrower here Now! Let's go find that witch! This place must be part of the ancestral Dönnerwetter castle. We stood guard last night and watched it reassemble itself. Look! I've found this really cool wolf fur! Oooooooooh my head But he's such a - such a- such a I told you it was a hare-brained scheme! Well, let's tuck in! There's a light at that end... It's built into the wall! Shishishalashone! Rap! Rap! Wha! We'd love to stay, but someone should stay behind to guard the prisoners... Shiver and tremble, fiends! The Baron of Fieffelfalsfaffel is here! : ...As soon as our mistress signals the attack, I'll eat at least three of the ambassador's guards... Hut! Hut! Hut! And so I found this outpost where three dog-men were talking about - hey, I've got beer? Yip! Wheeze! Pant! Identify myself? My foot! What's he waiting for? Just don't do it while I'm around. Looting, pillaging and ... the other thing The firm axe of strong government The what? Am I glad to be out of the embassy for a bit! Whoa! Kick-ass broom... Castle Rimur Heptokilononacenteduodecamerone And now, I've always got plenty of staff at my disposal! Bootlicking minions One day, I reached an important insight... There was a formula for creating wolfmen in a book ...A bomb went off in the chimney! It's got copies of the entire Vatican Collection Take two parts goose spit and a spoonfull of wasp fat Amazonian Aggressors Assault Assinine Ambassador FFF: Ever the diplomat Pant pant pant This is not the career I had in mind! So you think she is breaking through the mandrake spell? I'll go to town and buy some fresh fish. And so we conclude this special meeting with the recommendation... Report from our spies, sir! Kra, could you go and fetch us a few bars of soap Would you mind if I wrung the Ambassador's neck first? The Ambassador tarries... The representative is a tea-totaller. What the hell do you think you are doing? It could even be Guðrún herself Welcome all to the first strategy meeting... Ragnarok! You look positively radiant today! Good morning! Hey, it was the fish, okay? Combing hair Arrooo! You're teaching an ELF? A Gnome will never be an elf. Are you quite finished with your stupid games? I was taught by - Mthpfh! Pondering powerful magic Regrettable misunderstanding, amice I am Ragnarok, flap Ambassador, thrilled, thwip Ghni, whine, introductions Tweeting birds, sorry, WAP! You and your pals have an exciting life though You know, we almost got arrested here once Hogsbludderfenchurch fair Would you like a broom-ride home? So what's so tricky about juggling penguins? Toads. Legs. Mandrake. Four Oh yeah, the other visitor! Sanderon, you old poisoner! Mudslope Festival canceled due to bright sunny weather I see someone up there! Hello? The biggest tourist attraction Traveling And of course, I did have some training in the Craft Kiss Look very carefully - no problem! An elf? The local microclimate is full of surprises Hmmm... how about a trip? Get thee behind me, cold front! Dux explicit Honest work, a fee, and some time away from Clwyd-Rhan Duke Henry explains his concerns The high-born Lady Trollop! Bah! Inedible Pickings are slim again. Miss! Thbbpp! Bloodthirsty berserks who - FLATS! Clwyd-Rhan's winters are harsh! Intro page 4 Intro page 3 Intro page 2 Gudrun Epilogue 'Hey, nice necklace' - don't you just want to hug and cuddle him? Kel brandishes that thing better than she does a sword! She's been socked! If you want to imagine the future, imagine a foot... Pentagram and double-pentagram Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeevil! tranquility interrupted by mayhem Wait, wait, wait Brrrrrrrrrrreasts! Brrrrrrrrrrrrreasts!!!!!! I just like to say "trollop" I want movable ears like that At least distracting Scarabus is easy I mean, look at you! Setting the agenda aw... Looking o the bright side... That also didn't look pleasant Literature search ... Kick when she's down That's gotta hurt! Smackdown! Ha! Tomatenprimaten Kel and Atra are back from the Sabbat Striking at the root of the problem The others have found the tree. It looks like Wythllew has been out in the heat for too long Tamlin is unwilsome, and Damonk is stuck in his comic. The wood can get pretty scary at this time of year. It's... green. Very... green. Jodoque waxes prophetic A search is started Ragna is puzzled over Tamlin abandoning his ale. Some boaring stuff interrupted by magic Tamlin tries to get some work done. Muggy, Sweaty heat! Wythllew changes her tune but not her idiom, alas Broil my haunches and call me Rumpelstilt! Controntation! Hoodwin, etc. Poit Wrath and displeasure! Toxic waste is conveniently dumped Scarabus revises his plans Seethe Not quite a cannibal-and-missionary gag, but close. Pig-boy robs a shop. The legend of the earth-pig Jodoque makes a strategic withdrawal Jodoque does not like the look of the Earth-Pig at all Bookspace! The Earth-Pig's origins explained It' s a ... whatever! Scarabus - The Faerie and the Earth-Pig Musicking 4 Musicking 3 Musicking 2 - Musicking 1 - King's Drama - the story we're skipping CRAC! It's like a ticker tape parade, but without the ticker tape A warm welcome One more zap, and... One more thing remains to be done! Plant fight! The mess is, indeed, considerable Gnome meets gnome Overgrowth Vlap, again! She's awfully smug Introducing Kangra Delicate flowers Okidokey Phew! A WHAT landed on the temple? Contention has reached the Goblin King's castle We can't leave the prisoners here like this! Er... VLAP! Pentagrams for freedom! It's making me nervous, it give me the hives If the Great Gourm isn't satisfied, I'm not satisfied Jake's fate worse than death The rear-end ramrod? Oh dear... Enter Ghrgugha Iron fetters-the bastards! Sour grapes, disappointingly small diamonds, and the torture dungeon The Goblin King's tasteful parties That lucky, lucky bastard! Ruling with a copper fist The mother of all bad puns is here. Suggestions of a vegetarian diet, and the breaking up of tents. Attacking Ghrghuha Woe and Alas Uncouth The Great Gourm will not be fobbed off The ugliest mongrel! Ah, there she is Can you spot the Kel? Sodoffsodoffsodoff Feed the cyclops already! Zinngggg! Globbo the cyclops will join you The spoils of war Kel hates her outfit, and mistrusts the Gnomes A change of clothes The Gnome wins. One for the transformation fans Flipping the bird Trouble with jewelry Moving into plot Gnomian transports explained Ragna seeks enlightenment Put me down! Finally, some certainty about Tamlin's species Bleary-eyed gnomes Hyperspace, or something Occult forces and outdated pop culture Kel is struck by a realisation A Thunderous applause Announcements and suspense building The lutist Jakob Henriksson Tamlin is happy as a Tamlin in beer Kel awakes from sweet slumber Come on hear dear girl, have some soup Morning How to extract food from gullible vendors The disaster continues Rain and mud! Tamlin's woes continue Beerspace Invisible Frog, take 1 It's invitation-only! Tamlin likes the easy life Rose Hot damn and potato Watermelon With what, indeed Tamlin's new shape Refresher course crack Mad as a hatter! Ha ha! Hatter? What hatter? A peaceful scene and a crime - The Stone of Contention The End Them mammals sure are lucky A wild, chemise-clad chase follows ...and another 25 Kel goes for broke That'll be twenty rosaries Sanctuary A wild chase, because we haven't seen those before. Whoa! - The New Sheriff The End There's nothing to it. Banzai! ... but those other guys are still outside! Kel prevents disaster In her own unique manner, Kel makes a discovery Malt, wort, dandelion leaves and slug slime Process A tour of the premises, if you'd be so kind, sir? The village of Dogwhat - Brewery What will I tell the others? You uuuuuuuused meeeee! How do you manage with all that excess baggage? What lurks beneath that hideous exterior? Jewelry and sweetness Go on then, hero! I remember it well... We've got no choice... The next morning That night is The Night of the Dragon (thunderclap) One night each year, it's safe to walk through the forests of Clwyd-Rhan alone. - Night of the Dragon A new proclamation And that would have been that, if not... The feast The journey back Atra and Kel consider the plot holes Tweet, tweet, infodump The King is slow of understanding At last, the condemned man stirs no more The announcer's prose turns somewhat purple Dona Eis Requiem Thwack and also bleargh Pie jesu domine In which we play spot the rat In which paté is made and wuks are improvised In which the word sundry is used. Also trifle Moral dilemmas can drive a girl nuts Two men Kel prowls the night Tamlin has an imp of punning in him I wouldn't leave that bed either The Poet basks in the King's brilliance A feeble excuse Maybe maybe maybe Tamlin appears to come to his senses, or does he? Divers and sundry solutions for blah blah blah Joachim Piepelmeyer the Younger Spawn of the devil! Ribbit, ribbit An urgent request not to disturb the faerie Load up! Load up! Commander Alvarez Deranged cackling Stinkhorns! In my wrath I hadn't snuffled them Who dares vex Wythllew? Gnomes' feet! What a washout! Drool of toad and foamy conversation Discreet reconnoitry Kel is given reason to grumble Atra's in the dumps The not very classy inn Slippety slip Kel's senses tingle Bed, bath and booze The high road and the low King of the mountain The King's logic A royal decision Tent trouble and bad jokes Not a lot of wisdom here Whose pillar is bigger than whose? Claudius the pillar saint and his buddy The Pillar Field Uncouth character and arid plain Scaramouche scaramouche will you do the hemp hornpipe Goldmuskateller and shinee. Booze. It makes you drunk. The helpful barman Beer! Tamlin orders a round Trust will not go unpunished Packing for the trip The even more unctuous doodler The unctuous rhymer Revelation The hanged man Hell is other people getting eggs broken over them Talk about opportunity knocking Tamlin ponders and dithers. Then he has a vision Tamlin has a bright idea The King's missive is read The skull of a racing goblin is thick The net is sprung How to nab a racing goblin Ragnarok's pit Trails of the Rogues The Death Warrant: Frontispiece and introduction - The Death Warrant Dénouement The fiend's manners become a topic of debate A hare-brained scheme is hatched - Devil All's well that ends well for someone. Hefigna Hafagnagna Hunfougnon Just when Atra realises what she needs... Onions, brie, menthol.. Jake puts another customer in his pipe and smokes him Tough scientific nuts are being cracked. Atra also has a question. Objectives, means and loot Lead, lead lead, we like to sell lots of lead! Meanwhile, a scam is being hatched This year's conference is in the woods! Damn those annoying perpetuum mobiles! Some historical background on alchemists A letter - Alchemists The end Tending to the fire Pants, draughts and magic Jake takes a risk Flump Bwa ha ha ... ha ha ha ha Barnardus reveals his true nature Pleading with his royalness Hahaa! Success! Bow to your King! At the castle Kel in the pen, and in the dumps Well, well, well Kel grabs the Belt, and then... Kel tries to turn the tide A quick little siege Jake is concerned, Barnardus is not Respect Barnardus' Authority! Chac! There they are A mission for Kel They're gone - Headsmen The end Jake's recovery Another belthole won't work Trying on the belt There's an undertone of obsession in the conversation. A quick explanation Action! The Green Knight's turn It gets bloody To the shed! Tamlin's response to the challenge Faeries' Tongues in Aspic Above or below the salt? There's something fishy about this Green Knight. The Green Knight likes fun The imposing figure of the Green Knight Lord and master Introductions, and a path Futharkism A change in the hag's mood The explanatory power of an empty barrel The bosom of young Abigail The happy hag Fallen in the kettle, eh? Invincibility potion, redux That must be a hag, mark my words The King's men are willied Ogre The King's mind grinds towards a conclusion There are more critters in the forest How to get rid of annoying fairies A big book about monsters and demons Cookies! The punctured barrel The Chase! The next morning King Groy in love Nabbing the Racing Goblin Racing Goblins explained Arrival at the inn That farmer is irritating It's knackered In short, bleah. The journey starts Shteal the Green Knight'sh Belt Testing the potion Superglue is useful for everything! Tamlin loses his bottle The Golden Noose Jake and Ragna have a moment Tamlin hears an interesting tale Creative management ideaas Competition The gang at work, for a change Tax Gatherers A word on King Groy The Setting, Explained It's driving me nuts! Foreword to The Green Knight's Belt - The Green Knight's Belt