Polkster Said: Forum Update: Post in the new forum:
www.PolkOut.com/forum. It's hosted on my server, and if that starts getting laggy in the future I can just pay for more bandwidth. Any artistic contribution to the forum would be terrific. You can still check out the
old forum, and older pages will still link to it for now, so... uh... do whatever with that intel.
Quick shit for newcomers: Forum (deviant bullshit),
Feedback (fan art, comments, critiques),
About (check it out and contribute). Do you have a website of your own you want me to give a shout out to? Want to do a crazy guest strip? You can reach me through that email or on the forums.
Upcoming Fan Art Showcase: Whenever I get a substantial amount of fan art (we've got a few submissions on the forum) I'll dedicate a whole update to fan submissions. Go nuts, lets see some creativity and experimentation with style. Guest comic guidelines are in the forum.
I'm spending the next semester abroad... in Europe. So be prepared for a whole new level of crazy shit... and by "whole new level" I mean the same old shit but... uh.. the people I'm ranting at may not understand what the hell I'm talking about half the time. Not that most people do now but it'll be doubly true because they'll be foreign... well I'll be foreign because I'll be in their country, but they'll be foreign to me. I should probably have prefaced by saying that I just drank a good amount of whiskey with my grandpa and I'm a little buzzed. Well, really buzzed. Cadet Kelly is on TV so my fingers are kind of doing their own thing right now... doop doop doop...
Yes, my friends this is my last update from the United States until the Thursday or Friday after May 15th, unless of course May 15th is a Thursday or Friday, in which case this is my final update from the US until that date. I'm not taking my scanner with me but I've been told my school's computer lab has scanners at the abroad site. But if anyone wants to volunteer to be my official artist for the next four months (since I know I'll be traveling and updating may become more sporadic since finding a spot to just sit and draw all this shit out may become more troublesome) I'd be game for that. Clearly the artistic requirements are pretty minimal... I'm sure an infant with a box of crayons could do a more competent job than me...
Oh yeah, here's a crazy story: my mom was freaking out today because an
airplane taking off from LaGuardia crashed into the Hudson. Everyone survived, but how crazy is that? I was nursing a migraine all day (lack of sleep plus dentist drill, though I'm great now since I'm borderline tanked) so that news hasn't wrecked my nerves, but in the scope of my narcissistic self-centered concept of the world, it's kind of like I'm being told, "Look Polkster, shit like that still happens so don't get too relaxed." I'll make sure to bring some cash with me onto the plane so the stewardesses can feed me booze... I'm pretty levelheaded and rational when full of alcohol.
I'm pretty sure I haven't watched any new movies or played any new games since last week, so I've got nothing to review. PixelJunk Eden just got patched to make it less irritating... well whatever, any game that forces you to replay the same damn level five times over is just desperately trying to artificially expand its gameplay time. PISS POOR GAME DESIGN. Fucking hate it; why can't I just try and get all five fucking shiney things on my first go? Because that would make the game too short and we just can't have that, can we? Goddamn. That's this week's random review of something stupid, I hope you've enjoyed it.
Sorry if this has been an underwhelming rant, all I've had on my plate this week were dentists, migraines, sushi buffets, and consulate visits. Oh wait, I just remembered I got totally wasted last weekend. That was awesome. I remember describing my feelings as, "If the sun could shit... no wait, it's not the sun's shit... it's uh... if the sun could get pregnant, like all the time and then just popped its malformed fetuses out onto the Earth and I could then eat those fetuses and BE FULL OF SUNSHINE... then I'd feel like I feel right now. Full of sunshine."
"Why couldn't the sun just bear fruit?" Asked a friend.
"PEOPLE DON'T BEAR FRUIT AND THE SUN IS A PERSON. Have you not seen the cover of the Raisan Bran box?! The sun is a humanoid. Humanoids do not bear fruit."
My current level of drunkenness is a bit more mellow because I'm just nowhere near as drunk. That night I stumbled onto the single greatest concoction since penicillin.
Smiles plus
soul-boners... that's true fulfillment right there.
