THE MORTALS
Dan: Normal guy. Kind and helpful. In a relationship with Liz. Dislikes Tod.

Jeff: Dan's best friend. More internally-conflicted than most.

Liz: Heavy-metal girl. Dan's girlfriend. Hates emos (especially Tod) and Starbucks employees.

Shelly: Protester hippie-girl.

Apples: Robot. Opinionated, brash, dry-humored. Former mascot of the Transistor Center store. Hates Shelly. Dislikes Dial. Captured by Becky; tolerates her. Annoys Matt.

Becky: Secretary girl. Peppy, cheery, diligent. In a relationship with Apples.

Sprinkles: Wizard dude. Laid-back. Likes burritos. Hates Dial.

Dial: Human-sized cellphone robot. Obnoxious. Hates Sprinkles. Enjoys bugging Matt.

Tod: Emo. Whiny, selfish. Hated by Liz.

Agent Jackson: CIA agent. Decisive, direct. Dislikes Shelly.

Matt: Transistor Center [a Circuit City-like store] employee. Annoyed by Apples. Gets along ok with Dial.

THE DEITIES
Bitterness: Main deity. A bit laid-back. Calm, rather nice despite his name. Quite kind to Devi.

Cruelty: Another deity. Cold, calculating, direct. Tries to keep Anger under control.

Anger: Yet another deity. Wratful, rage-filled, hates everyone. Carries grudges like HELL. Does stuff just to hurt, hinder, or just plain annoy people.

Devi: A lesser deity, Bitterness's secretary. Hard-working (she's kept The Business going WAY ahead of schedule ever since she joined). Has feelings for her boss.