trevoramueller

Seriously, biggest waste of my time. Yet like a heroine addict, I just keep coming back for more - even though I know that it's bad for me. For men, internet dating is a numbers game. You send out as many e-mails as possible to women and hope that they e-mail you back. For women, it's a process of elimination. They have all the power, because e-mail is always a one-sided conversation. My charms come off in person, not through text, so I'm at a bit of a disadvantage. I just have this image in my head of women only looking for guys with popped collars and side burns - basically, the guys that look like Johnny Jerkface and Anthony Douche Bag from high school. The problem here is, they "claim" in their profiles that they're looking for a nice guy - someone honest, caring, romantic, fun, whatever. Well, I'm sure Johnny and Anthony are fun, but they're still the same people that hurt you in high school and college. Why? Because they haven't NEEDED to change their ways. Women keep coming back for more. So they keep cheating or doing whatever they please. Meanwhile, guys like me - average to below average looking with nerdy and niche interests - get ignored, even though we meet the criteria that these women claim to be looking for. Hence, the new profile. I had a lot of fun writing it, even if it is a bit over-the-top and exaggerated. I'm sure there are other nice guys out there on the internet, and I hope that they're stealing the women from me instead of Johnny and Anthony. Because honestly, Johnny and Anthony need to go die in a hole somewhere quietly and stop diluting women and making them skeptical about taking a chance on us nice guys. Seriously, but waste of my time. Yet here I am, thinking about joining yet another site. Are my chances going to go up any? Probably not. But I guess you have to put yourself out there to get any results. The thing that really irks me about internet dating, though: when they stop e-mailing you for no reason. Seriously, not knowing is awful. If you ever want to punish your worst enemy, do something and never let them know what it is....the not knowing will drive them mad! So to you married people I say "Congratulations." You've found that elusive thing that I've been searching for. To those of you on the search, like me, I say good luck. And to Johnny Jerkface and Anthony Douche Bag I say, "Choke on each other's cocks and die." :P -Posted on Jun 05, 2009

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User: trevoramueller
kyupol: Link to me some, and I'll certainly link to this page. I have no shame, I'll promote myself all over the place! :) -Posted on Oct 07, 2009

User: kyupol		5
lmao. you can put this cartoon in some MRA (mens rights activist. the male equivalent of feminists) message board. -Posted on Jul 10, 2009

User: trevoramueller
krrack knut: You know more about comics than everyone that was at that Halloween party combined! -Posted on Jul 10, 2009

User: krrack_knut		5
Well, well, well. Spider Jerusalem! -Posted on Jul 10, 2009

User: trevoramueller
Kristen Gudsnuk: If you know all these single ladies looking for a guy to treat them right, send them this way. I'm sure the single guys on here would appreciate it. I know I would. And I totally agree that you could never cheat on someone you actually cared about - which is why I've never cheated. Proof positive that I've cared about them all. -Posted on Jun 10, 2009

User: Kristen Gudsnuk		5
everyone wants someone out of their league, and some guys will be assholes to girls they don't really care about (aka are comfortably within their own league). I don't think you could cheat on someone you truly loved... Also, I don't know how guys complain about women-- I know SO many more single ladies than single men. SO many more. gees, even this kid that I once declared (in private) the 'most vomitous and disturbingly ugly boy I've ever met' has a girlfriend... and she's actually really good looking! and it's probably an evolutionary trait that women like jerks-- it's all testosterone. -Posted on Jun 10, 2009

User: trevoramueller
Warpedwenger: My brother has hilariously flawed logic, and I'm sure he doesn't mean this in real life, but he says that "Women like assholes, but they love the good guy." So to get women then, you just have to be a jerk...and then show your softer side. Scorpious: Wow, thank you for the compliment. I had this idea brewing in the back of my mind for a little while, and had a good chuckle while writing and creating it, but never thought that people would enjoy it this much. I have a warm fuzzy feeling right now.... :D Druchii: Thanks buddy, glad you dig it. And I hope your friends dig it, too. In fact, one of your friends contacted me about the comic, so thank you for that. I'm glad that the reaction to this was so positive. amanda: I like your headline, and I would never cheat on Jess. She will owe me all kinds of hugs and kisses and cuddles when you come to visit, though. I mean, I'm not giving it up to anyone else, right. Keep me faithful, girl! :P Brogan: Thanks, glad you liked it. The response to this was very positive. thrugar: So upon your recommendation I checked out soulgeek, and while it certainly seems to appeal to my nerdy self, it's a pay site. I'm already getting ignored for free, and don't really want to pay to get ignored. That said, I do have a profile on there now that is fully searchable by people who pay for the service. It's a fun looking little community, though, so thank you for the recommendation. seventy2: Hmmmm...your use of "..." interests me, sir. I feel there may be more to this story than meets the eye. Just like the Transformers.... ;) khard12: You're such an ass, and totally off my x-mas card list. :P Just kidding. I'm actually very happy that you've found someone and it's working well for you. It's a state that I hope to return to at some point soon. In the meantime, I plan to make fun of being single as much as possible! subcultured: There's certainly a movement that seems to point towards women liking assholes - which, if I do this comic, why the heck don't they like me? I'm not enough of an asshole? I'm not the right kind of asshole? Might have to ponder this one.... I've not checked out dateanddash.com, sounds like speed dating. Which I've never tried, and will have to to gather research for future online dating story arcs. So thank you for the link! PB Maxx: It certainly feels this way quite often, doesn't it. I remember feeling this way ever since I discovered girls back in middle school. Back when dating involved holding hands in the hallway, posting pictures in your locker, exchanging mixed tapes, and occasionally kissing at a party. My problem is that I have no gimmick. No fancy hair, no fancy car, and no Brad Pitt smile.... ttyler: It does appear to be this way, and I had thought that by my age (late twenties, early thirties) that women would smart up and stop going after Johnny Jerkface and Anthony Douchebag, but alas - not the case. harryq: Sweet mama, someone's gettin' laid tonight and I think it might be me! ;) -Posted on Jun 09, 2009

User: harryq		5
Sheer effin' genius, I'm slappin' a skirt on and I'll be right over. -Posted on Jun 07, 2009

User: ttyler		5
This is so true......It frightens me. -Posted on Jun 06, 2009

User: PB Maxx		5
This is one of the funniest things I have read in a long time. It's the truth behind it that makes it so funny. -Posted on Jun 06, 2009

User: subcultured
chicago, huh? ever try the date and dashes? https://www.dateanddash.com -Posted on Jun 05, 2009

User: subcultured		5
this is a true story... women like assholes. -Posted on Jun 05, 2009

User: khard12		5
ROFL! So true! I'm really glad I found my soul mate so I don't have to resort to whoring myself on the internet in the feeble hope of.... Oh sorry Trev. Best of luck in finding the lady of your dreams. -Posted on Jun 05, 2009

User: seventy2		5
i just kept making friends till one of them had an available female friend. that seemed to work better than the internet dating. i was....n't.......married at the time. -Posted on Jun 05, 2009

User: thrugar		5
Have you tried Soulgeek? i am married so dont have to worry about the whole dating scene anymore but soulgeek seems to be what your looking for. Try it and let us know! -Posted on Jun 05, 2009

User: Brogan		5
XD funny stuff trev! -Posted on Jun 05, 2009

User: amanda		5
Hey! Don't you be cheating on your internet girlfriend - she's my best friend, you know ^.^ I think if you combined your two headlines, you'd have a winner. "I'm awesome and I like to cheat on women and screw them in uncomfortable places like The Grimace." -Posted on Jun 05, 2009

User: Druchii		5
This is seriously one of the fucking most hilarious ones you've done. I have sent this to a load of people Trev! I agree with Scorpious, balls out funny funny stuff man! -Posted on Jun 05, 2009

User: Scorpious		5
oh man am not lying when i tell you , you totally crak me up with this one ,,, i totally still laughing while writing this ,,, is the most TRUE TO GOD funniest joke i had read online ever hands down! am sharing this on facebook right now coes man ,, like people say in my country " te la comiste " LOL OMG! wish mean " you nail it good " fuck 5 i give you 100 on this one ! -Posted on Jun 05, 2009

User: Warpedwenger		5
LOL Cuz woman want to be treated nicely but they are only attracted to assholes. It's part of their in ability to understand logic. Personally I'm working on being more of a jerk in my spare time because I like sex. -Posted on Jun 05, 2009